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Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Snoopy on June 04, 2008, 03:12:37 PM

Title: How to be unpopular with your children
Post by: Snoopy on June 04, 2008, 03:12:37 PM
Fed up with the kids watching absolute cr*p on TV? Bored with them always wanting to watch triangular faced cartoon characters with American accents? P*ssed off with teenage daughters watching nothing but old reruns of programmes you first saw thirty years ago and what is worse knowing that she doesn't actually understand half the jokes but simply laughs a spilt second after she hears the canned laughter track?
I have the answer. "Parental Controls". What a wonderful invention.  spider:

I thought it was meant to allow me to "filter" porn channels so that, if I were daft enough to pay for them, my children would not be able to access them BUT OH NO! It's much better than that. Using the PIN, that only I know 8), I have spent a happy half hour barring their access to all the programmes that get on my t*ts, all the channels that their mother objects to and anything else I have deemed unsuitable. So pick the bones out of that my little ones.
Daddy has struck back  eveilgrin:

Now get on with your f*cking homework! freddy:
Title: Re: How to be unpopular with your children
Post by: Barman on June 04, 2008, 03:32:42 PM
Fed up with the kids watching absolute cr*p on TV? Bored with them always wanting to watch triangular faced cartoon characters with American accents? P*ssed off with teenage daughters watching nothing but old reruns of programmes you first saw thirty years ago and what is worse knowing that she doesn't actually understand half the jokes but simply laughs a spilt second after she hears the canned laughter track?
I have the answer. "Parental Controls". What a wonderful invention.  spider:

I thought it was meant to allow me to "filter" porn channels so that, if I were daft enough to pay for them, my children would not be able to access them BUT OH NO! It's much better than that. Using the PIN, that only I know 8), I have spent a happy half hour barring their access to all the programmes that get on my t*ts, all the channels that their mother objects to and anything else I have deemed unsuitable. So pick the bones out of that my little ones.
Daddy has struck back  eveilgrin:

Now get on with your f*cking homework! freddy:
happy001

How long before they have The Boy round to crack the code tho?  scared2:
Title: Re: How to be unpopular with your children
Post by: Barman on June 04, 2008, 03:33:39 PM
PS is this on a Sky box?  rubschin:

Perhaps I can make Extreme Makeover and such shite like not work too?  whistle:
Title: Re: How to be unpopular with your children
Post by: Snoopy on June 04, 2008, 03:39:59 PM
PS is this on a Sky box?  rubschin:

Perhaps I can make Extreme Makeover and such shite like not work too?  whistle:

Oh yes. Using your PIN you can bar access to any channel. Once barred the only way in is via the PIN. Three attempts with the wrong set of numbers and you are locked out for ten minutes. So I have barred the channels that carry the programmes we don't want them to watch but if there is something I want to watch then I simply punch in the PIN and watch to my heart's content. Devilish clever what?  char062
Title: Re: How to be unpopular with your children
Post by: Grumpmeister on June 04, 2008, 03:48:29 PM
I give it at most a couple of months before they crack the pin Snoops  point:
Title: Re: How to be unpopular with your children
Post by: Pastis on June 04, 2008, 03:53:58 PM
I simply punch in the PIN and watch to my heart's content. Devilish clever what?  char062

Presumably you can change the PIN to your heart's content too  ;D
Title: Re: How to be unpopular with your children
Post by: Nick on June 04, 2008, 04:15:09 PM
EXCELLENT. Nearly as good as putting your TV in a box! eveilgrin:
Title: Re: How to be unpopular with your children
Post by: Snoopy on June 04, 2008, 04:41:28 PM
I simply punch in the PIN and watch to my heart's content. Devilish clever what?  char062

Presumably you can change the PIN to your heart's content too  ;D


Yup!  eveilgrin:


I think weekly should do it. whistle:
Title: Re: How to be unpopular with your children
Post by: Mrs TG on June 04, 2008, 05:55:16 PM
I simply punch in the PIN and watch to my heart's content. Devilish clever what?  char062

Presumably you can change the PIN to your heart's content too  ;D


Yup!  eveilgrin:




I think weekly should do it. whistle:

Good to get even with your kids hey and better still be one step ahead.....well done, lets know how they respond to it all... scared2:
Title: Re: How to be unpopular with your children
Post by: Snoopy on June 04, 2008, 05:58:47 PM
They are livid!
We have had tears, threats, tantrums and sulks all within the first hour of getting in from school.   cloud9:
Title: Re: How to be unpopular with your children
Post by: Mrs TG on June 04, 2008, 06:01:10 PM
They are livid!
We have had tears, threats, tantrums and sulks all within the first hour of getting in from school.   cloud9:

DO NOT GIVE IN....!  noooo:
Title: Re: How to be unpopular with your children
Post by: Snoopy on June 04, 2008, 06:07:08 PM
They are now playing ludo. So much better for them than American High School "dramas". Both boys have done reading practice and have learned their weekly spellings ready for tomorrow's test at school. THW has actually done her homework ~ or so she claims.
Title: Re: How to be unpopular with your children
Post by: Barman on June 06, 2008, 04:54:58 AM
Have they cracked it yet?  whistle:
Title: Re: How to be unpopular with your children
Post by: Snoopy on June 06, 2008, 07:28:16 AM
Nope  eveilgrin:


Title: Re: How to be unpopular with your children
Post by: Barman on June 06, 2008, 07:38:10 AM
Nope  eveilgrin:



Excellent!  razz:
Title: Re: How to be unpopular with your children
Post by: Snoopy on June 06, 2008, 07:39:40 AM
How could they know the birthday of a brother they don't know they have. eveilgrin:
Title: Re: How to be unpopular with your children
Post by: Barman on June 06, 2008, 07:41:19 AM
How could they know the birthday of a brother they don't know they have. eveilgrin:
rubschin:
Title: Re: How to be unpopular with your children
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 06, 2008, 08:05:35 AM
How could they know the birthday of a brother they don't know they have. eveilgrin:
cool14:
Title: Re: How to be unpopular with your children
Post by: barmisspah? on June 06, 2008, 09:09:31 AM
How could they know the birthday of a brother they don't know they have. eveilgrin:

Have you jumped a thread here, or am I going doolaly (not for the first time !)
Title: Re: How to be unpopular with your children
Post by: Barman on June 06, 2008, 09:31:04 AM
How could they know the birthday of a brother they don't know they have. eveilgrin:

Have you jumped a thread here, or am I going doolaly (not for the first time !)
The password... it is the birthdate of the rother that the other kids don't know they have...  whistle:
Title: Re: How to be unpopular with your children
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 06, 2008, 10:39:42 AM
birthdate of the rother

Snoopy is the rotter.

The world must be littered with his progeny.  noooo:

He must be in the same league as Pop Stars sind Tory politicians.
Title: Re: How to be unpopular with your children
Post by: Barman on June 06, 2008, 10:41:04 AM
birthdate of the rother

Snoopy is the rotter.

The world must be littered with his progeny.  noooo:

He must be in the same league as Pop Stars sind Tory politicians.
doh:
Stupid clumsy fingers!

What is 'sind'?  rubschin:
Title: Re: How to be unpopular with your children
Post by: Snoopy on June 06, 2008, 11:08:52 AM
A baby was born many years ago. He was adopted. We were too young to keep him ~ it still hurts OK?
Title: Re: How to be unpopular with your children
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 06, 2008, 11:26:27 AM
A baby was born many years ago. He was adopted. We were too young to keep him ~ it still hurts OK?
redface:

 surrender:
Title: Re: How to be unpopular with your children
Post by: Snoopy on June 06, 2008, 11:27:57 AM
A baby was born many years ago. He was adopted. We were too young to keep him ~ it still hurts OK?
redface:

 surrender:

Don't be daft DS ~ I shouldn't have mentioned it.
Title: Re: How to be unpopular with your children
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 06, 2008, 11:31:17 AM
A baby was born many years ago. He was adopted. We were too young to keep him ~ it still hurts OK?
redface:

 surrender:

Don't be daft DS ~ I shouldn't have mentioned it.

OK, but some subects are extra-touchy.

Like typing. . .

birthdate of the rother

Snoopy is the rotter.

The world must be littered with his progeny.  noooo:

He must be in the same league as Pop Stars sind Tory politicians.
doh:
Stupid clumsy fingers!

What is 'sind'?  rubschin:

You try typing 'and' with a turnip in your left hand and a phone in your right.

Could be worth holding on to that idea in case they bring back Jeux sans Frontieres  rubschin:
Title: Re: How to be unpopular with your children
Post by: Barman on June 06, 2008, 11:34:50 AM
A baby was born many years ago. He was adopted. We were too young to keep him ~ it still hurts OK?
redface:

 surrender:

Don't be daft DS ~ I shouldn't have mentioned it.

OK, but some subects are extra-touchy.

Like typing. . .

birthdate of the rother

Snoopy is the rotter.

The world must be littered with his progeny.  noooo:

He must be in the same league as Pop Stars sind Tory politicians.
doh:
Stupid clumsy fingers!

What is 'sind'?  rubschin:

You try typing 'and' with a turnip in your left hand and a phone in your right.

Could be worth holding on to that idea in case they bring back Jeux sans Frontieres  rubschin:
You're on your PC with your 'turnip' in your hand...  rubschin:
Title: Re: How to be unpopular with your children
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 06, 2008, 01:18:35 PM
A baby was born many years ago. He was adopted. We were too young to keep him ~ it still hurts OK?
redface:

 surrender:

Don't be daft DS ~ I shouldn't have mentioned it.

OK, but some subects are extra-touchy.

Like typing. . .

birthdate of the rother

Snoopy is the rotter.

The world must be littered with his progeny.  noooo:

He must be in the same league as Pop Stars sind Tory politicians.
doh:
Stupid clumsy fingers!

What is 'sind'?  rubschin:

You try typing 'and' with a turnip in your left hand and a phone in your right.

Could be worth holding on to that idea in case they bring back Jeux sans Frontieres  rubschin:
You're on your PC with your 'turnip' in your hand...  rubschin:

But it's my LEFT hand. . .  ::)
Title: Re: How to be unpopular with your children
Post by: Barman on June 06, 2008, 02:30:28 PM
A baby was born many years ago. He was adopted. We were too young to keep him ~ it still hurts OK?
redface:

 surrender:

Don't be daft DS ~ I shouldn't have mentioned it.

OK, but some subects are extra-touchy.

Like typing. . .

birthdate of the rother

Snoopy is the rotter.

The world must be littered with his progeny.  noooo:

He must be in the same league as Pop Stars sind Tory politicians.
doh:
Stupid clumsy fingers!

What is 'sind'?  rubschin:

You try typing 'and' with a turnip in your left hand and a phone in your right.

Could be worth holding on to that idea in case they bring back Jeux sans Frontieres  rubschin:
You're on your PC with your 'turnip' in your hand...  rubschin:

But it's my LEFT hand. . .  ::)
No wonder you are having problems then...  noooo:
Title: Re: How to be unpopular with your children
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 06, 2008, 02:54:59 PM
A baby was born many years ago. He was adopted. We were too young to keep him ~ it still hurts OK?
redface:

 surrender:

Don't be daft DS ~ I shouldn't have mentioned it.

OK, but some subects are extra-touchy.

Like typing. . .

birthdate of the rother

Snoopy is the rotter.

The world must be littered with his progeny.  noooo:

He must be in the same league as Pop Stars sind Tory politicians.
doh:
Stupid clumsy fingers!

What is 'sind'?  rubschin:

You try typing 'and' with a turnip in your left hand and a phone in your right.

Could be worth holding on to that idea in case they bring back Jeux sans Frontieres  rubschin:
You're on your PC with your 'turnip' in your hand...  rubschin:

But it's my LEFT hand. . .  ::)
No wonder you are having problems then...  noooo:

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Title: Re: How to be unpopular with your children
Post by: Bar Wench on June 09, 2008, 07:57:31 AM
They are now playing ludo. So much better for them than American High School "dramas". Both boys have done reading practice and have learned their weekly spellings ready for tomorrow's test at school. THW has actually done her homework ~ or so she claims.

But, but high school dramas are good!  eeek: Have you barred her from Gossip Girl and Greek!?!?!?  eeek:

The pin control also works well on various channels that show sport!  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: How to be unpopular with your children
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 09, 2008, 08:04:39 AM
They are now playing ludo. So much better for them than American High School "dramas". Both boys have done reading practice and have learned their weekly spellings ready for tomorrow's test at school. THW has actually done her homework ~ or so she claims.

But, but high school dramas are good!  eeek: Have you barred her from Gossip Girl and Greek!?!?!?  eeek:

The pin control also works well on various channels that show sport!  eveilgrin:

Good weekend was it?
Title: Re: How to be unpopular with your children
Post by: Bar Wench on June 09, 2008, 09:05:08 AM
Excellent!  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: How to be unpopular with your children
Post by: Snoopy on June 09, 2008, 10:35:28 AM
They are now playing ludo. So much better for them than American High School "dramas". Both boys have done reading practice and have learned their weekly spellings ready for tomorrow's test at school. THW has actually done her homework ~ or so she claims.

But, but high school dramas are good!  eeek: Have you barred her from Gossip Girl and Greek!?!?!?  eeek:

The pin control also works well on various channels that show sport!  eveilgrin:

Yes I have AND I do not subscribe to Sprots Channels
Title: Re: How to be unpopular with your children
Post by: Nick on June 09, 2008, 10:36:20 AM
Sprots channels?

What are these Sprots of which you babble?
Title: Re: How to be unpopular with your children
Post by: Bar Wench on June 09, 2008, 10:40:58 AM
They are now playing ludo. So much better for them than American High School "dramas". Both boys have done reading practice and have learned their weekly spellings ready for tomorrow's test at school. THW has actually done her homework ~ or so she claims.

But, but high school dramas are good!  eeek: Have you barred her from Gossip Girl and Greek!?!?!?  eeek:

The pin control also works well on various channels that show sport!  eveilgrin:

Yes I have AND I do not subscribe to Sprots Channels

But they are good programmes!  eeek:

I have blocked Sky Sports News which is on freeview. And over the weekend I also pined whatever channel was showing football!  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: How to be unpopular with your children
Post by: Nick on June 09, 2008, 10:41:40 AM
Pined?

Aaaaaaaaaaaa happy100
Title: Re: How to be unpopular with your children
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 09, 2008, 10:42:04 AM
Sprots channels?

What are these Sprots of which you babble?
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.amazon.com%2Fimages%2FP%2F039921822X.01.LZZZZZZZ.gif&hash=281c539de72b01dcfe3dd34eaa28aac12ca0b397)

Sprot the dog?

Surprised BM isn't pushing this.
Title: Re: How to be unpopular with your children
Post by: Snoopy on June 09, 2008, 10:42:57 AM
Sprots channels?

What are these Sprots of which you babble?

Coming from someone who cannot get his finger off the caps LOck in time that's bloody rich.
Title: Re: How to be unpopular with your children
Post by: Nick on June 09, 2008, 10:43:37 AM
 point: