The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: The Moan Ranger on May 23, 2008, 10:42:18 AM

Title: Suicidal pigeon
Post by: The Moan Ranger on May 23, 2008, 10:42:18 AM
So there I was, outside the office having a fag and minding my own business, when out of the corner something falling from the roof caught my eye.

Splat!

A pigeon hits the deck in a cloud of dust and feathers. Lots of claret, messy - it's put me off my rare roast beef sandwich.  sick2:

Do pigeons top themselves? Do they have heart attacks whilst perched atop a five storey building?  It also has a tag on its leg. Why do they tag pigeons?
Title: Re: Suicidal pigeon
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 23, 2008, 10:47:29 AM
Anti Social Birdy Orders - all the rage now you know  lol:
Title: Re: Suicidal pigeon
Post by: Nick on May 23, 2008, 10:48:16 AM
So there I was, outside the office having a fag and minding my own business, when out of the corner something falling from the roof caught my eye.

Splat!

A pigeon hits the deck in a cloud of dust and feathers. Lots of claret, messy - it's put me off my rare roast beef sandwich.  sick2:

Do pigeons top themselves? Do they have heart attacks whilst perched atop a five storey building?  It also has a tag on its leg. Why do they tag pigeons?

It was muslim! eeek:
Title: Re: Suicidal pigeon
Post by: Snoopy on May 23, 2008, 10:48:46 AM
Homing pigeons are usually tagged. The correct thing to do is remove the tag and contact the RPRA and give them the details from the ring. They will let the owner know.
You can report the matter on line if you wish http://www.rpra.org/Default.aspx?tabid=100
Title: Re: Suicidal pigeon
Post by: Nick on May 23, 2008, 10:49:44 AM
ALso sue for the dry cleaning!
Title: Re: Suicidal pigeon
Post by: Barman on May 23, 2008, 10:49:53 AM
I used to work with a guy that was driving along one summer with his car window open.

He passed a big truck thing that was releasing racing pigeons.

One of them hit his door mirror, was decapitated and entered the car, flapping around spraying blood everywhere.

Not suicide but a great story!  ;D
Title: Re: Suicidal pigeon
Post by: The Moan Ranger on May 23, 2008, 10:54:14 AM
Homing pigeons are usually tagged. The correct thing to do is remove the tag and contact the RPRA and give them the details from the ring. They will let the owner know.
You cann report the matter on line if you wish http://www.rpra.org/Default.aspx?tabid=100

It's a pile of mush. If you think I'm going to remove the tag from a flying rat then you are much mistaken!

Give it an hour and the local Albanians will have had it for the pot...
Title: Re: Suicidal pigeon
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 23, 2008, 10:57:27 AM
Me thinks Snoopy has a much kinder nature than most of us here .....

Not a chance I would touch the thing either  scared2:
Title: Re: Suicidal pigeon
Post by: Nick on May 23, 2008, 10:59:01 AM
I used to work with a guy that was driving along one summer with his car window open.

He passed a big truck thing that was releasing racing pigeons.

One of them hit his door mirror, was decapitated and entered the car, flapping around spraying blood everywhere.

Not suicide but a great story!  ;D
Have you ever been sneezed on by a horse?

I have evil:
Title: Re: Suicidal pigeon
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 23, 2008, 11:00:04 AM

Have you ever been sneezed on by a horse?

I have evil:

Is that some kind of martial arts manoevre as well ???
Title: Re: Suicidal pigeon
Post by: Nick on May 23, 2008, 11:05:46 AM
No. You get a ball of foaming snot in the middle of your steering wheel which you gather up in a tissue and hurl out the window, whllst wretching
Title: Re: Suicidal pigeon
Post by: Bar Wench on May 23, 2008, 11:07:59 AM
I used to work with a guy that was driving along one summer with his car window open.

He passed a big truck thing that was releasing racing pigeons.

One of them hit his door mirror, was decapitated and entered the car, flapping around spraying blood everywhere.

Not suicide but a great story!  ;D
Have you ever been sneezed on by a horse?

I have evil:

More times than I care to remember.  noooo:
Title: Re: Suicidal pigeon
Post by: Uncle Mort on May 23, 2008, 11:09:17 AM
No. You get a ball of foaming snot in the middle of your steering wheel which you gather up in a tissue and hurl out the window, whllst wretching

You had a horse in your car?


 
Title: Re: Suicidal pigeon
Post by: Nick on May 23, 2008, 11:10:25 AM
Apolice horse. Brixton. HOt day. Window open.

Bastard police trotted off eeek: evil:
Title: Re: Suicidal pigeon
Post by: Uncle Mort on May 23, 2008, 11:11:37 AM
Police horse? they're probably trained to do that.  ;D
Title: Re: Suicidal pigeon
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 23, 2008, 11:13:20 AM
No. You get a ball of foaming snot in the middle of your steering wheel which you gather up in a tissue and hurl out the window, whllst wretching

You had a horse in your car?

 

They like hobnobs.

As for the pigeon, "Suicide by farmer" is a common exit route for them round these parts. evil:
Title: Re: Suicidal pigeon
Post by: Snoopy on May 23, 2008, 11:14:04 AM
No. You get a ball of foaming snot in the middle of your steering wheel which you gather up in a tissue and hurl out the window, whllst wretching

You had a horse in your car?

 

They like hobnobs.

As for the pigeon, "Suicide by farmer" is a common exit route for them round these parts. evil:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Suicidal pigeon
Post by: Just One More on May 23, 2008, 11:30:15 AM
No. You get a ball of foaming snot in the middle of your steering wheel which you gather up in a tissue and hurl out the window, whllst wretching

You had a horse in your car?


 

Think red car she said...

Think prancing horse she said...

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaVLLC1r.jpg&hash=5451351d13e1f629ce66b095078d4043d1b06b34) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aVLLC1r)
Title: Re: Suicidal pigeon
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 23, 2008, 11:44:03 AM
It it had a tag on its leg it could have been a racing pidgeon so it could have been side effects of performance enhancing drugs...  whistle:
Title: Re: Suicidal pigeon
Post by: The Moan Ranger on May 23, 2008, 11:59:59 AM
Some wag in the office has put some small flowers around the body and a little cardboard cross!

Title: Re: Suicidal pigeon
Post by: Barman on May 23, 2008, 12:00:51 PM
Some wag in the office has put some small flowers around the body and a little cardboard cross!


I feel lie I've lost a friend now...  sad24:
Title: Re: Suicidal pigeon
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 23, 2008, 12:03:37 PM
Some wag in the office has put some small flowers around the body and a little cardboard cross!



sack them now noooo:
Title: Re: Suicidal pigeon
Post by: Nick on May 23, 2008, 12:04:42 PM
 rubschin:
Title: Re: Suicidal pigeon
Post by: The Moan Ranger on May 23, 2008, 12:09:53 PM
I will get a picture if it is still there when I get back from lunch.

I blame Dastardly. Or possibly Mutley (incidently, Mrs TMR (to be) calls me Mutley...).
Title: Re: Suicidal pigeon
Post by: Snoopy on May 23, 2008, 12:10:41 PM
I will get a picture if it is still there when I get back from lunch.

I blame Dastardly. Or possibly Mutley (incidently, Mrs TMR (to be) calls me Mutley...).

I wonder why?  whistle:
Title: Re: Suicidal pigeon
Post by: The Moan Ranger on May 23, 2008, 12:15:42 PM
Because I have a little hat with a built in rotor, obviously, you daft floppy eared quadruped!
Title: Re: Suicidal pigeon
Post by: Snoopy on May 23, 2008, 12:16:25 PM
<snigger>
Title: Re: Suicidal pigeon
Post by: The Moan Ranger on May 23, 2008, 12:21:44 PM
And I also think Mutley would kick Snoopy's arse if it kicked off...
Title: Re: Suicidal pigeon
Post by: Barman on May 23, 2008, 12:32:59 PM
Boys, boys... no fighting before the wedding...  noooo:
Title: Re: Suicidal pigeon
Post by: Nick on May 23, 2008, 12:37:48 PM
He spit in my coat!
Title: Re: Suicidal pigeon
Post by: Barman on May 23, 2008, 12:39:49 PM
He spit in my coat!
doh:
Title: Re: Suicidal pigeon
Post by: The Moan Ranger on May 23, 2008, 12:51:25 PM
The gentle scene that was once a peaceful memorial to the deceased avian now resembles a road crash - I can only assume some feral scroat is to blame. I have a photo which I could post, but it ain't pleasant.
Title: Re: Suicidal pigeon
Post by: Nick on May 23, 2008, 01:32:46 PM
He spit in my coat
Title: Re: Suicidal pigeon
Post by: Just One More on May 23, 2008, 02:10:30 PM
The gentle scene that was once a peaceful memorial to the deceased avian now resembles a road crash - I can only assume some feral scroat is to blame. I have a photo which I could post, but it ain't pleasant.

Are any scousers employed there? Will there be a night time vigil?
Title: Re: Suicidal pigeon
Post by: The Moan Ranger on May 23, 2008, 03:01:25 PM
The gentle scene that was once a peaceful memorial to the deceased avian now resembles a road crash - I can only assume some feral scroat is to blame. I have a photo which I could post, but it ain't pleasant.

Are any scousers employed there? Will there be a night time vigil?

Are you taking the pi55 ?!
Title: Re: Suicidal pigeon
Post by: TG on May 23, 2008, 03:12:38 PM
The gentle scene that was once a peaceful memorial to the deceased avian now resembles a road crash - I can only assume some feral scroat is to blame. I have a photo which I could post, but it ain't pleasant.

Are any scousers employed there? Will there be a night time vigil?

Are you taking the pi55 ?!

Uh-oh. This is going to set Mrs TG off.  scared2:
Title: Re: Suicidal pigeon
Post by: Mrs TG on May 23, 2008, 04:32:47 PM
The gentle scene that was once a peaceful memorial to the deceased avian now resembles a road crash - I can only assume some feral scroat is to blame. I have a photo which I could post, but it ain't pleasant.

Are any scousers employed there? Will there be a night time vigil?

Are you taking the pi55 ?!

Uh-oh. This is going to set Mrs TG off.  scared2:

YEP to right...
your mentioned scousers what is the problem?  Angry9:
Title: Re: Suicidal pigeon
Post by: The Moan Ranger on May 23, 2008, 04:39:55 PM
Calm yourself - it's nothing that a napalm strafing wouldn't cure...
Title: Re: Suicidal pigeon
Post by: Just One More on May 23, 2008, 05:03:21 PM
The gentle scene that was once a peaceful memorial to the deceased avian now resembles a road crash - I can only assume some feral scroat is to blame. I have a photo which I could post, but it ain't pleasant.

Are any scousers employed there? Will there be a night time vigil?

Are you taking the pi55 ?!

I asked employed, not worked
Title: Re: Suicidal pigeon
Post by: TG on May 23, 2008, 05:12:02 PM
Calm yourself - it's nothing that a napalm strafing wouldn't cure...

NOOOOOOOOOO! I have to live with her!  scared2:
Title: Re: Suicidal pigeon
Post by: The Moan Ranger on May 23, 2008, 05:53:48 PM
Do you have (or had) hub caps on your car?

My sympathies. Although I like Scousers - some of my best servants stemmed from that neck of the woods...
Title: Re: Suicidal pigeon
Post by: Mrs TG on May 23, 2008, 06:27:09 PM
Do you have (or had) hub caps on your car?

My sympathies. Although I like Scousers - some of my best servants stemmed from that neck of the woods...

nah we don't have a car!
they all love me in work, with my humerus sense of humour....
best people in world! mark my word.... eyes:
Title: Re: Suicidal pigeon
Post by: The Moan Ranger on May 23, 2008, 06:33:30 PM
Did I mention they work best when whipped now and then? They are like dogs, only less loyal and they have more fleas. Other than that, they are fine. Oh - and burning a portrait of John Lennon can yield instant tears/wailing.
Title: Re: Suicidal pigeon
Post by: Mrs TG on May 23, 2008, 07:22:42 PM
Did I mention they work best when whipped now and then? They are like dogs, only less loyal and they have more fleas. Other than that, they are fine. Oh - and burning a portrait of John Lennon can yield instant tears/wailing.


 Angry9:  shallow very shallow, well i hope it in jest.... Banghead
Title: Re: Suicidal pigeon
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 23, 2008, 10:57:56 PM
Police horse? they're probably trained to do that.  ;D

Given that police animals are trained to protect the public it probably sensed the nick-o-rays and acted to stop the car blowing up. whistle: