The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => The Comedy Room => Topic started by: Snoopy on May 10, 2008, 11:57:06 AM

Title: Rules of Aussie Etiquette, Parts 1 & 2
Post by: Snoopy on May 10, 2008, 11:57:06 AM
Part 1: DATING

1. Always offer to bait your date's hook - especially on the first date.

2. Be assertive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you ever since I read that stuff about you on the dunny door two years ago."

3. Establish with her parents what time she's expected back. Some will say 11 p.m., others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it's the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.

Part 2: DINING OUT

1. When decanting wine from the box, tilt the paper cup and pour slowly so as not to bruise the wine.

2. If drinking directly from the bottle, hold it with only one hand.


Title: Re: Rules of Aussie Etiquette, Parts 1 & 2
Post by: Pastis on May 10, 2008, 02:14:24 PM
 lol: lol:
Title: Re: Rules of Aussie Etiquette, Parts 1 & 2
Post by: Nick on May 10, 2008, 02:54:44 PM
See also Australian Foreplay: "Brace yourself, Sheila."
Title: Re: Rules of Aussie Etiquette, Parts 1 & 2
Post by: Snoopy on May 10, 2008, 03:13:19 PM
My eldest daughter is called Sheila (tho' spelled differently ~ long story)

Anywho she once had a boyfriend that she spent some time persuading her mother and I to meet. This was, of course, "The love of her life" (she was about 14ish ::)). Eventually we agreed that she should bring him round to our house one Sunday for tea. She introduced him as "Bruce" and got very upset when I collapsed with laughter.

I should like to take this opportunity of finally saying sorry but now that she is nearly 38 I suspect she too might, at long last, understand what made me crack up. happy001
Title: Re: Rules of Aussie Etiquette, Parts 1 & 2
Post by: Pastis on May 10, 2008, 03:54:25 PM
I hope so...  lol:

I had to email a chap this week... called Shayne  eeek:  I was biting my lip trying not to comment.

He then phoned me; "How do? y'alright mate?"  He was from Knottingley  confused:
Title: Re: Rules of Aussie Etiquette, Parts 1 & 2
Post by: Barman on May 10, 2008, 06:50:09 PM
My eldest daughter is called Sheila (tho' spelled differently ~ long story)

Anywho she once had a boyfriend that she spent some time persuading her mother and I to meet. This was, of course, "The love of her life" (she was about 14ish ::)). Eventually we agreed that she should bring him round to our house one Sunday for tea. She introduced him as "Bruce" and got very upset when I collapsed with laughter.

I should like to take this opportunity of finally saying sorry but now that she is nearly 38 I suspect she too might, at long last, understand what made me crack up. happy001
;D
Title: Re: Rules of Aussie Etiquette, Parts 1 & 2
Post by: Barman on May 10, 2008, 06:52:49 PM
I once did some business with a guy… we spoke on the ‘phone for months negotiating a deal, he had the broadest West Indian accent, I’d ever heard – ‘hows tings, etc.’

Then he visited the company – I came down to reception which happened to be quite crowded on that occasion and couldn’t find him – he was a white as a sheet.  eeek:
Title: Re: Rules of Aussie Etiquette, Parts 1 & 2
Post by: Pastis on May 10, 2008, 07:15:04 PM
Was it Tim Westwood or something on Capital Radio that was a bit like that  8)

I only know because I had.... perhaps I best not go there... secretaries and things...  redface:

In my defence.... it was a long, long time ago.....
Title: Re: Rules of Aussie Etiquette, Parts 1 & 2
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 10, 2008, 08:01:21 PM
. . .she spent some time persuading her mother and I to meet.

 rubschin:

How ever hard I try, that beats me for a comment for once.
Title: Re: Rules of Aussie Etiquette, Parts 1 & 2
Post by: Snoopy on May 11, 2008, 06:33:06 AM
. . .she spent some time persuading her mother and I to meet.

 rubschin:

How ever hard I try, that beats me for a comment for once.

Within a year that also applied OK  evil:
Title: Re: Rules of Aussie Etiquette, Parts 1 & 2
Post by: Bar Wench on May 13, 2008, 12:00:19 PM
. . .she spent some time persuading her mother and I to meet.

 rubschin:

How ever hard I try, that beats me for a comment for once.

Within a year that also applied OK  evil:

 eeek: rubschin: eeek:
Title: Re: Rules of Aussie Etiquette, Parts 1 & 2
Post by: Snoopy on May 13, 2008, 12:05:26 PM
. . .she spent some time persuading her mother and I to meet.

 rubschin:

How ever hard I try, that beats me for a comment for once.

Within a year that also applied OK  evil:

 eeek: rubschin: eeek:

Don't tax your brain Wenchy ~ we separated
Title: Re: Rules of Aussie Etiquette, Parts 1 & 2
Post by: Bar Wench on May 13, 2008, 12:05:53 PM
Thank-you.  redface:
Title: Re: Rules of Aussie Etiquette, Parts 1 & 2
Post by: Nick on May 14, 2008, 10:52:14 AM
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/7397867.stm (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/7397867.stm)
Title: Re: Rules of Aussie Etiquette, Parts 1 & 2
Post by: Snoopy on May 14, 2008, 10:54:34 AM
Clearly a man who understands his priorities.  lol: