The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => The Comedy Room => Topic started by: Snoopy on April 24, 2008, 02:37:15 PM

Title: Barman needs a new Suit
Post by: Snoopy on April 24, 2008, 02:37:15 PM: The doctor said, 'Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration.
You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.'
Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for.
He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street he realised that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.
He saw a men's clothing store and thought, 'That's what I need .... a new suit. That'll make me feel a little better.
He entered the shop and told the salesman, 'I'd like a new suit.'
The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, 'Let's see .... size 44 long.'
Joe laughed, 'That's right, how did you know?'
'Been in the business 60 years!' the tailor said.
Joe tried on the suit...it fitted perfectly.
As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, 'How about a new shirt?' Joe thought for a moment and then said, 'Sure.'
The salesman eyed Joe and said, 'Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16 1/2 neck.'
Joe was surprised. 'That's right, how did you know?'
'Been in the business 60 years.' Joe tried on the shirt and it fitted perfectly.
Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, 'How about some new underwear?'
Joe thought for a moment and said, 'Sure.'
The salesman said, 'Let's see ... size 36.'
Joe laughed, 'Ah ha! I got you, I've worn a size 34 since before I was 18 years old.'
The salesman shook his head. 'You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache.'
Title: Re: Barman needs a new Suit
Post by: Barman on April 24, 2008, 02:39:50 PM: ::)
Title: Re: Barman needs a new Suit
Post by: Snoopy on April 24, 2008, 02:42:26 PM: I rather expected Banghead Banghead Banghead
Title: Re: Barman needs a new Suit
Post by: Barman on April 24, 2008, 03:00:04 PM: It is rather an old one...
Title: Re: Barman needs a new Suit
Post by: Snoopy on April 24, 2008, 03:18:58 PM: There are no new jokes but there are appropriate jokes. point:
Title: Re: Barman needs a new Suit
Post by: Barman on April 24, 2008, 03:23:07 PM: Quote from: Snoopy on April 24, 2008, 03:18:58 PM
There are no new jokes but there are appropriate jokes. point:
Banghead Banghead Banghead
Title: Re: Barman needs a new Suit
Post by: Snoopy on April 24, 2008, 03:25:20 PM: ITHENQUE
Title: Re: Barman needs a new Suit
Post by: Bar Wench on April 24, 2008, 03:27:55 PM: I hadn't heard it before! lol:
Title: Re: Barman needs a new Suit
Post by: Barman on April 24, 2008, 03:37:08 PM: Quote from: Bar Wench on April 24, 2008, 03:27:55 PM
I hadn't heard it before! lol:
::)
Title: Re: Barman needs a new Suit
Post by: Bar Wench on April 24, 2008, 03:45:05 PM: I'm half your age matey! It really isn't suprising!
Title: Re: Barman needs a new Suit
Post by: Barman on April 24, 2008, 03:45:52 PM: Quote from: Bar Wench on April 24, 2008, 03:45:05 PM
I'm half your age matey! It really isn't suprising!
You're bloody not! cussing:
Title: Re: Barman needs a new Suit
Post by: Bar Wench on April 24, 2008, 03:46:37 PM: whistle:
Title: Re: Barman needs a new Suit
Post by: Grumpmeister on April 24, 2008, 06:57:59 PM: Now now wenchy, you know it isnt nice to poke fun at the elderly like that. whistle:
Title: Re: Barman needs a new Suit
Post by: Bar Wench on April 25, 2008, 07:44:14 AM: I know but it is so much fun to see them fall off their zimmer frame when you do poke them. redface: