The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Nick on April 22, 2008, 11:08:01 AM

Title: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Nick on April 22, 2008, 11:08:01 AM
Saturday: some blokes arrive and put up some scaffolding - but not all of it.
Sunday: some more blokes arrive, declare that the previous blokes have done it all wrong, take down scaffolding, start again and leave it unfinished.
Monday: some other blokes arrive and complete scaffolding

Mrs Nick, paranoid about burglars, instructs that all windows shall henceforth be locked.

Tuesday: Roofer arrives and starts bashing the roof about
Asks if we have a copy of the spec (after 4 hours) since he has forgotten some important aspects of the job. Tell him I can't find it
Roofer locates his copy and asks for cheque for £7000 (50% of total cost of job) eeek:

Roofer carries on bashing about above my head

Large amount of soot arrives in my office via chimbley eeek: evil:

They are here for three weeks cussing:

Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Snoopy on April 22, 2008, 11:11:39 AM
You should have come round boyo ....... we've slate to spare.

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.pantgwynquarry.co.uk%2Fimages%2Fpictures%2Fplum_slate_lg.jpg&hash=164db6abe7302746e68d1c9aaee1d5d5a7365ddb)
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Nick on April 22, 2008, 11:22:39 AM
He has just reported that the roof lacks insulation.

£320 extra?

So what, it's gonna bankrupt us anyway noooo:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Snoopy on April 22, 2008, 11:32:05 AM
Memo to self ~ buy shares in Jewsons .... TODAY!
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Nick on April 22, 2008, 01:22:55 PM
CHRIST THEY ARE MAKING A NOISE!
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Snoopy on April 22, 2008, 01:24:05 PM
Memo to Nick: Take lap-top to pub and set up there for three weeks.
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Nick on April 22, 2008, 01:26:41 PM
NO

1. Would get pissed
2. Peachy bottomed barmaid would distract
3. Good plan -  do drive over!
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Snoopy on April 22, 2008, 01:29:36 PM
NO

1. Would get pissed
2. Peachy bottomed barmaid would distract
3. Good plan -  do drive over!

  noooo: Puppy sitting sick middle one.
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Nick on April 22, 2008, 01:32:26 PM
Won't last forever(one hopes)

Come tomorrow!
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Snoopy on April 22, 2008, 01:33:15 PM
He is signed off for the week  evil:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Nick on April 22, 2008, 01:33:56 PM
Even better! Come tomorrow.
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Snoopy on April 22, 2008, 01:36:02 PM
We'll see how he and I are. We both have it  sad24:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Nick on April 22, 2008, 01:43:21 PM
Come anyhow! We have swings, ice cream, birds, roofers evil:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Barman on April 22, 2008, 01:48:47 PM
Come anyhow! We have swings, ice cream, birds, roofers evil:
And soot!  point:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Grumpmeister on April 22, 2008, 02:10:08 PM
Did I read the OP correctly and Nick has paid in advance?  point:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Snoopy on April 22, 2008, 02:11:46 PM
Half up front (prolly for materials) ~ Second half when job's done ..... is how I read it.
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Nick on April 22, 2008, 04:05:12 PM
Correct, Mr Dog
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Nick on April 23, 2008, 08:20:41 AM
Day 2

They are hammering away up there (unless it's a hammering sound effects tape) and there is a fine drizzle of slate dropping around the house.

Top Man Roofer reversed his smart expensive truck into his little trailer earlier. Caused himself about a thousand quids' worth of damage.

He then suggested some possible "additional" work to the roof (about a £1000 quids' worth oddly), but I declined. eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Barman on April 23, 2008, 08:49:22 AM
 happ096
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Nick on April 24, 2008, 08:33:44 AM
Day 3:on which Mrs Nick springs a surprise!

Top Man arrives at 8.00.I hear Mrs Nick exchanging pleasantries with him. I then hear her say, "When will you be finished?"

I then hear her say, "And when will the scaffolding come down?"

I then hear her say, "Because we thought we would get the house painted while the scaffolding is still up". eeek:

Did we? rubschin:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Nick on April 24, 2008, 09:30:53 AM
Top Man Roofer returns in his expnsive truck.Must go and see what it is.

Reverses around corner to park by the house.

For complex reasons we possess one of these

http://www.broxap.com/viewproduct.asp?cID=7&pcID=4&pID=756 (http://www.broxap.com/viewproduct.asp?cID=7&pcID=4&pID=756)

in black and white. Cast iron.Mounted in 18" of concrete.

DOes a lot of damage to cars

That's his other rear wing gone then! point:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Uncle Mort on April 24, 2008, 09:49:09 AM
More 'additional' work suggested?

I wouldn't mind having a couple of those bollards on the grass verge outside my house. Inconsider parkers often curn up the ground.
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Nick on April 24, 2008, 09:59:27 AM
Ours was a requirement of the listed building status. Had to buy the bastard myself! evil:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Uncle Mort on April 24, 2008, 10:03:34 AM
Listed building(!)

Wot, like that tower at Pisa?  ;)
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Nick on April 24, 2008, 10:05:11 AM
Well it does lean a bit!
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on April 24, 2008, 12:05:24 PM
Top Man Roofer returns in his expnsive truck.Must go and see what it is.

Reverses around corner to park by the house.

For complex reasons we possess one of these

http://www.broxap.com/viewproduct.asp?cID=7&pcID=4&pID=756 (http://www.broxap.com/viewproduct.asp?cID=7&pcID=4&pID=756)

in black and white. Cast iron.Mounted in 18" of concrete.

DOes a lot of damage to cars

That's his other rear wing gone then! point:

It's fervently hoped that he's better at roofing than driving his expensive truck then Nick - otherwise we dread to think of the possible consequences - especially to a listed building!
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Nick on April 24, 2008, 12:13:18 PM
yes
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Barman on April 24, 2008, 01:29:07 PM
yes
Have you been up there then?  whistle:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Nick on April 24, 2008, 05:15:25 PM
Nope.

But I could! rubschin:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Barman on April 24, 2008, 05:36:08 PM
Nope.

But I could! rubschin:
I think you should...  whistle:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Snoopy on April 24, 2008, 05:39:38 PM
Nope.

But I could! rubschin:
I think you should...  whistle:

What could possibly go
                              o
                               o
                                o
                                 o
                                  o
                                   o
                                    wrong?
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Barman on April 24, 2008, 05:40:47 PM
Nope.

But I could! rubschin:
I think you should...  whistle:

What could possibly go
                              o
                               o
                                o
                                 o
                                  o
                                   o
                                    wrong
lol: lol: lol:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.danheller.com%2Fimages%2FEurope%2FCroatia%2FMilna%2FBuildings%2Fhole-in-roof-2.jpg&hash=3f91d8c1cd1b782dc155f4db70a6a11d28ce901a)
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Snoopy on April 24, 2008, 05:43:51 PM
Nope.

But I could! rubschin:
I think you should...  whistle:

What could possibly go
                              o
                               o
                                o
                                 o
                                  o
                                   o
                                    wrong
lol: lol: lol:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.danheller.com%2Fimages%2FEurope%2FCroatia%2FMilna%2FBuildings%2Fhole-in-roof-2.jpg&hash=3f91d8c1cd1b782dc155f4db70a6a11d28ce901a)

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.scopecreep.com%2Fyahoo%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2006%2F06%2Froof.jpg&hash=88c42bd81ca6c1831c56e1f7d75a66776486d1fb)
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Barman on April 24, 2008, 05:45:18 PM
Nope.

But I could! rubschin:
I think you should...  whistle:

What could possibly go
                              o
                               o
                                o
                                 o
                                  o
                                   o
                                    wrong
lol: lol: lol:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.danheller.com%2Fimages%2FEurope%2FCroatia%2FMilna%2FBuildings%2Fhole-in-roof-2.jpg&hash=3f91d8c1cd1b782dc155f4db70a6a11d28ce901a)

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.scopecreep.com%2Fyahoo%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2006%2F06%2Froof.jpg&hash=88c42bd81ca6c1831c56e1f7d75a66776486d1fb)
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.essex.nhs.uk%2Fimages%2Fcontent%2Fambulance%2520in%2520motion%2520outside%2520Broomfield%2520Hospital.jpg&hash=bf6cf61c128ce3a9c4de4115bee4fa480b43031d)
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Snoopy on April 24, 2008, 05:47:44 PM
Nope.

But I could! rubschin:
I think you should...  whistle:

What could possibly go
                              o
                               o
                                o
                                 o
                                  o
                                   o
                                    wrong
lol: lol: lol:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.danheller.com%2Fimages%2FEurope%2FCroatia%2FMilna%2FBuildings%2Fhole-in-roof-2.jpg&hash=3f91d8c1cd1b782dc155f4db70a6a11d28ce901a)

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.scopecreep.com%2Fyahoo%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2006%2F06%2Froof.jpg&hash=88c42bd81ca6c1831c56e1f7d75a66776486d1fb)
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.essex.nhs.uk%2Fimages%2Fcontent%2Fambulance%2520in%2520motion%2520outside%2520Broomfield%2520Hospital.jpg&hash=bf6cf61c128ce3a9c4de4115bee4fa480b43031d)

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.life-tec-ruhr.de%2Fglobal%2Fimages%2Fbereiche%2Foperation1.jpg&hash=f02f8e1f421ceaf426e71c0596608de259343492)
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Barman on April 24, 2008, 05:49:21 PM
Nope.

But I could! rubschin:
I think you should...  whistle:

What could possibly go
                              o
                               o
                                o
                                 o
                                  o
                                   o
                                    wrong
lol: lol: lol:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.danheller.com%2Fimages%2FEurope%2FCroatia%2FMilna%2FBuildings%2Fhole-in-roof-2.jpg&hash=3f91d8c1cd1b782dc155f4db70a6a11d28ce901a)

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.scopecreep.com%2Fyahoo%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2006%2F06%2Froof.jpg&hash=88c42bd81ca6c1831c56e1f7d75a66776486d1fb)
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.essex.nhs.uk%2Fimages%2Fcontent%2Fambulance%2520in%2520motion%2520outside%2520Broomfield%2520Hospital.jpg&hash=bf6cf61c128ce3a9c4de4115bee4fa480b43031d)

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.life-tec-ruhr.de%2Fglobal%2Fimages%2Fbereiche%2Foperation1.jpg&hash=f02f8e1f421ceaf426e71c0596608de259343492)
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffuneral.brindley.eu%2Fabfab_funeral_001.jpg&hash=28d3bca84cd88a5eb46c583225fb43e8624e2910)
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Snoopy on April 24, 2008, 05:50:40 PM
Nope.

But I could! rubschin:
I think you should...  whistle:

What could possibly go
                              o
                               o
                                o
                                 o
                                  o
                                   o
                                    wrong
lol: lol: lol:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.danheller.com%2Fimages%2FEurope%2FCroatia%2FMilna%2FBuildings%2Fhole-in-roof-2.jpg&hash=3f91d8c1cd1b782dc155f4db70a6a11d28ce901a)

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.scopecreep.com%2Fyahoo%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2006%2F06%2Froof.jpg&hash=88c42bd81ca6c1831c56e1f7d75a66776486d1fb)
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.essex.nhs.uk%2Fimages%2Fcontent%2Fambulance%2520in%2520motion%2520outside%2520Broomfield%2520Hospital.jpg&hash=bf6cf61c128ce3a9c4de4115bee4fa480b43031d)

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.life-tec-ruhr.de%2Fglobal%2Fimages%2Fbereiche%2Foperation1.jpg&hash=f02f8e1f421ceaf426e71c0596608de259343492)
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffuneral.brindley.eu%2Fabfab_funeral_001.jpg&hash=28d3bca84cd88a5eb46c583225fb43e8624e2910)

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cartoonstock.com%2Fnewscartoons%2Fcartoonists%2Fjha%2Flowres%2Fjhan170l.jpg&hash=776799d9e418d3ce992aa35989b7a5f1b2de40bc)
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Barman on April 24, 2008, 05:52:17 PM
Nope.

But I could! rubschin:
I think you should...  whistle:

What could possibly go
                              o
                               o
                                o
                                 o
                                  o
                                   o
                                    wrong
lol: lol: lol:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.danheller.com%2Fimages%2FEurope%2FCroatia%2FMilna%2FBuildings%2Fhole-in-roof-2.jpg&hash=3f91d8c1cd1b782dc155f4db70a6a11d28ce901a)

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.scopecreep.com%2Fyahoo%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2006%2F06%2Froof.jpg&hash=88c42bd81ca6c1831c56e1f7d75a66776486d1fb)
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.essex.nhs.uk%2Fimages%2Fcontent%2Fambulance%2520in%2520motion%2520outside%2520Broomfield%2520Hospital.jpg&hash=bf6cf61c128ce3a9c4de4115bee4fa480b43031d)

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.life-tec-ruhr.de%2Fglobal%2Fimages%2Fbereiche%2Foperation1.jpg&hash=f02f8e1f421ceaf426e71c0596608de259343492)
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffuneral.brindley.eu%2Fabfab_funeral_001.jpg&hash=28d3bca84cd88a5eb46c583225fb43e8624e2910)

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cartoonstock.com%2Fnewscartoons%2Fcartoonists%2Fjha%2Flowres%2Fjhan170l.jpg&hash=776799d9e418d3ce992aa35989b7a5f1b2de40bc)
Indeed... what could go wrong?  noooo:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Snoopy on April 24, 2008, 05:56:10 PM
I can't imagine  whistle:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Barman on April 24, 2008, 05:58:16 PM
I can't imagine  whistle:
Where is he...? You don't think...?

 scared2:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Snoopy on April 24, 2008, 06:02:54 PM
I can't imagine  whistle:
Where is he...? You don't think...?

 scared2:

I haven't heard any blood curdling screams ........................... yet.
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Barman on April 24, 2008, 06:04:11 PM
I can't imagine  whistle:
Where is he...? You don't think...?

 scared2:

I haven't heard any blood curdling screams ........................... yet.
But Mrs. Nick is away...  whistle:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Snoopy on April 24, 2008, 06:05:32 PM
He wouldn't ~ would he?

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.alpikor.org%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2007%2F06%2Falain-robert.jpg&hash=9e26748149be722176a24b606a19e485df7ed7d7)
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Barman on April 24, 2008, 06:27:33 PM
He wouldn't ~ would he?

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.alpikor.org%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2007%2F06%2Falain-robert.jpg&hash=9e26748149be722176a24b606a19e485df7ed7d7)
He would tho...  scared2:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Snoopy on April 24, 2008, 06:29:09 PM
He wouldn't ~ would he?

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.alpikor.org%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2007%2F06%2Falain-robert.jpg&hash=9e26748149be722176a24b606a19e485df7ed7d7)
He would tho...  scared2:

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fscared001.gif&hash=b6b3e9febc68a06ae6e1a7e2c173958a5f1fb2c0)
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Nick on April 25, 2008, 08:18:52 AM
They've just dropped something very very heavy over the side of the house. I do not want to look scared2:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Snoopy on April 25, 2008, 08:20:12 AM
I would refer the Honourable Member to the previous page  whistle:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Barman on April 25, 2008, 08:34:59 AM
I would refer the Honourable Member to the previous page  whistle:
Indeed... I think all the info we need is there...  whistle:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Nick on April 28, 2008, 09:45:56 AM
The days has passed without incident so far.  ;)

But it's only 10.45 evil:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Nick on April 29, 2008, 07:49:12 AM
The Lead Men have arrived! They are asking for more scaffolding! eeek:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Barman on April 29, 2008, 07:55:10 AM
The Lead Men have arrived! They are asking for more scaffolding! eeek:
Lead?  eeek:

You’ll have Growler local miscreants up there nicking it before they’ve taken the scaffolding away!  noooo:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Snoopy on April 29, 2008, 08:27:17 AM
The Lead Men have arrived! They are asking for more scaffolding! eeek:
Lead?  eeek:

You’ll have Growler local miscreants up there nicking it before they’ve taken the scaffolding away!  noooo:

'Spect they want  "saddles" round the chimney stacks. This happened to me. Each specialist wanted more scaffolding for his "bit" of the job. Whatever happened to a man with a ladder. It's yer bloody "elfin safety" innit.
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Uncle Mort on April 29, 2008, 08:33:25 AM
Whatever happened to a man with a ladder.

He fell off and died. His wife became desitute and threw herself in the canal leaving four children to be taken into care.

 ;)
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Barman on April 29, 2008, 08:48:12 AM
Whatever happened to a man with a ladder.

He fell off and died. His wife became desitute and threw herself in the canal leaving four children to be taken into care.

 ;)
;D
Is that Darwinism then?  whistle:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Uncle Mort on April 29, 2008, 08:49:24 AM
Only if he'd fallen off before having the children.  ;)
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Snoopy on April 29, 2008, 08:54:13 AM
 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Barman on April 29, 2008, 09:04:43 AM
Only if he'd fallen off before having the children.  ;)
Ah... but he didn't have any more...  ;)
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Nick on April 29, 2008, 10:12:05 AM
The Lead Men have arrived! They are asking for more scaffolding! eeek:
Lead?  eeek:

You’ll have Growler local miscreants up there nicking it before they’ve taken the scaffolding away!  noooo:

 scared2: scared2:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Barman on April 29, 2008, 10:13:10 AM
The Lead Men have arrived! They are asking for more scaffolding! eeek:
Lead?  eeek:

You’ll have Growler local miscreants up there nicking it before they’ve taken the scaffolding away!  noooo:

 scared2: scared2:
Prolly gone already... go up and check...  whistle:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Nick on April 29, 2008, 10:17:53 AM
 evil:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Barman on April 29, 2008, 10:19:41 AM

Two arrested following lead theft

Two men have been arrested in Kent on suspicion of stealing lead from the roofs of houses.

Residents in Athelstan Road, Margate, called police when they heard people running on their roofs early on Sunday.

Officers surrounded the street as the area was searched before arresting two men in a nearby flat at 0100 BST.

The two men, aged 17 and 21, from Margate, were held in custody and questioned before being released on bail until 20th May.

 whistle:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Nick on April 29, 2008, 10:29:12 AM
 evil:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Barman on April 29, 2008, 10:32:01 AM
You need Smartwater...

Quote from: BBC Web Shite
Minster moves to stop lead thefts

New technology is being used at Beverley Minster to protect the 800-year-old building after a spate of lead thefts from churches in Yorkshire.

Workers have been on the minster roof marking lead with Smartwater - an invisible liquid containing a unique code - to deter thieves.
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Uncle Mort on April 29, 2008, 10:34:55 AM
How does that work then?

Surely the thieves melt the lead down causing the smartwater to boil off.
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Nick on April 29, 2008, 10:40:30 AM
Wonder where my new lead came from? rubschin:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Barman on April 29, 2008, 10:40:41 AM
How does that work then?

Surely the thieves melt the lead down causing the smartwater to boil off.
Yes, I thought that... and if they can't see it in the first place...  shrugs:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Grumpmeister on April 29, 2008, 10:48:03 AM
The water itself would boil off but the minerals in the water would be what is used as a trace and they would still be in the lead.

Having said that all Nick needs to do is have 'Property of Captain Calamity' stamped on all the lead being used on Chez Nick and no bugger in their right mind would pinch it.  whistle:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Darwins Selection on April 29, 2008, 11:22:28 AM
The water itself would boil off but the minerals in the water would be what is used as a trace and they would still be in the lead.
::)

I think that is "Smartarse"
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Grumpmeister on April 29, 2008, 11:35:24 AM
Truth be told I have no idea but it sounded good  redface:

Nick has another worry as well now:

Quote
Millions of old buildings in England may be at risk because of a shortage of specialist workers, a report says.

The National Heritage Training Group said more thatchers, dry stone-wallers and stonemasons were needed to deal with pre-1919 construction.

It said the shortage of craft workers has eased in recent years, but there was still a skills and knowledge gap.

Peter Lobban, of industry group ConstructionSkills, said "giant steps" were being taken to train more people.

Research conducted for the report revealed that many people were finding it hard to find joiners, roofers and carpenters, while levels of satisfaction with repair work have declined "considerably".

The report also revealed that there are only 507 fully accredited conservation professionals in the UK from a base of half a million architects, engineers, surveyors and conservation officers.

The study showed this was equivalent to one accredited surveyor to every 85,000 old buildings, and one engineer to every 276,000.

'Giant steps'

According to the report, the future of the five million pre-1919 buildings in England could be at risk because of the lack of specialists.

Mr Lobban, who is chief executive of ConstructionSkills, said: "We've taken some giant steps to ensure that more people are taking up these traditional building crafts that are so important to preserving the country's heritage buildings.

"But there is more work to do. Many of the people undertaking repair and maintenance work on pre-1919 buildings need upskilling to guarantee that tasks are completed to the highest possible standard and England's iconic and more humble buildings are not spoilt."

Meanwhile, Bill Martin, director of conservation at English Heritage, said the "serious shortage of craftspeople" had been highlighted in a 2005 report which "captured the imagination of many people and has resulted in a huge renewal of interest in careers in the heritage build sector".

He went on: "The 3000-strong force of new blood is crucial to addressing the succession problem within the sector. We may be reversing a trend but clearly there is still lots to do to make sure the quality of work is maintained.

"These skills issues affect not just listed buildings, but the whole swathe of undesignated and locally important heritage and conservation areas that form an integral part of the historic environment."

Mentoring programme

The National Heritage Training Group and its partners said it will invest £1m to help reduce the skills gap through various initiatives, such as encouraging the up-take of qualifications such as the Heritage Skills NVQ Level 3 and a Heritage Apprenticeship Programme.

It also plans to establish a mentoring programme, with experienced craftspeople passing on skills and knowledge to less experienced practitioners.

Mike Moody, chairman of the National Heritage Training Group, stressed the importance of "retaining a skilled workforce".

"This is essential if we are to maintain the highest possible standards of workmanship, as well as remaining commercially successful," he said.

Mr Moody went on: "The work of the NHTG has helped reduce the skills shortage, but we will now redouble our efforts to address the skills gaps for both craftspeople and building professionals to ensure we properly care for and maintain our built heritage."
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Nick on April 29, 2008, 12:17:10 PM
My men are all on the job!

I can hear them banging.

Fear not!
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Grumpmeister on April 29, 2008, 12:52:15 PM
No you can just hear them banging away at something, doesnt mean they are actually working Nick  point:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Barman on April 29, 2008, 03:47:13 PM
No you can just hear them banging away at something, doesnt mean they are actually working Nick  point:
They are nicking the lead prolly...  whistle:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Pastis on April 29, 2008, 05:22:15 PM
Nick. This new roof; d'you reckon on getting felt laid down in the loft...?  eyes:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Snoopy on April 29, 2008, 05:24:57 PM
He's offered me a Bonio if I go and look at it  ~ I hope it's not it's a variant on "I know where there is a bunnies nest ... do you want to see it?"scared2:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Pastis on April 29, 2008, 05:36:42 PM
I'd be very careful. He'll start using words like Purlin, Rafter, Joist and Beam. It's all code I've heard  ;)
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Snoopy on April 29, 2008, 05:38:35 PM
Oh I'll be fine ~ I'm sure
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Pastis on April 29, 2008, 06:41:45 PM
Oh I'll be fine ~ I'm sure

What could possibly go ...? etc etc

Blood & Bandages, Accident & Emergency...

Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Grumpmeister on April 29, 2008, 06:52:04 PM
I'd be very careful. He'll start using words like Purlin, Rafter, Joist and Beam. It's all code I've heard  ;)

Beam is a code word? Aw bugger, I'll never be able to watch Star Trek again. 'Beam me up Scotty' now has a different connotation.  eeek:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Snoopy on April 29, 2008, 06:56:00 PM
I'd be very careful. He'll start using words like Purlin, Rafter, Joist and Beam. It's all code I've heard  ;)

I shall counter by speaking, loftily, of soffits, bargeboards and the like



















Christ ~ 6 pages and we are still, vaguely, on topic.
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Nick on May 05, 2008, 05:44:11 PM
In which a sudden rainstorm leaves us with water running down the walls.

INSIDE THE HOUSE! evil:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Pastis on May 05, 2008, 05:50:19 PM
Seems like a bad day for water related utilities all round  happy100





the spicey (not chewy!) spring lamb casseroley thingy however smells great!

Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Nick on May 05, 2008, 06:26:08 PM
Jolly good.If it turns out chewy I can smear it on my ROOF! evil:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Barman on May 06, 2008, 05:47:35 AM
In which a sudden rainstorm leaves us with water running down the walls.

INSIDE THE HOUSE! evil:
The lead has been nicked prolly...  whistle:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Nick on May 06, 2008, 10:22:32 AM
They are all up there sunbathing today evil:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Barman on May 06, 2008, 12:08:16 PM
They are all up there sunbathing today evil:
Who? The lead thieves?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Nick on May 06, 2008, 12:09:48 PM
Thety do the odd bit of banging.




































Baldy!
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaV1zTRMJ.jpg&hash=5bc8c29a8c15bf01544c920fa6e88cb90cbe8bbc) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aV1zTRMJ)
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Barman on May 06, 2008, 12:10:35 PM
 ::)
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Nick on May 07, 2008, 08:18:49 AM
It turns out that one of hte roofers collects football scarvies ( eeek:). FOr reasons best known to himself he has brought a load of them here today to show me. I did my best to "admire" them. Fortunately the phone rang.
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 07, 2008, 08:26:23 AM
It turns out that one of the roofers collects scarvies

He needs to eat more citrus fruit.
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Nick on May 07, 2008, 08:33:55 AM
 doh:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Barman on May 07, 2008, 08:53:40 AM
It turns out that one of the roofers collects scarvies

He needs to eat more citrus fruit.
drumroll:
 ;D
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Nick on May 11, 2008, 06:19:11 PM
Big thunderstorm here. MOre raining inside the house! evil:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Barman on May 11, 2008, 06:22:09 PM
Big thunderstorm here. MOre raining inside the house! evil:
= missing lead...  whistle:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Nick on May 11, 2008, 06:24:44 PM
= no tiles yet! evil:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Barman on May 11, 2008, 06:26:33 PM
= no tiles yet! evil:
They nicked the tiles too?  eeek:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Snoopy on May 11, 2008, 06:37:52 PM
Whyfore they not sheet it with tarpaulins? Any fool knew it would rain some time over the weekend.
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Nick on May 11, 2008, 06:38:39 PM
ME? eeek:

Go on the roof? eeek:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Snoopy on May 11, 2008, 06:40:46 PM
ME? eeek:

Go on the roof? eeek:

I think he meant Nicked as in stolen ... not Nicked as in Cat's arse trophy.
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Nick on May 12, 2008, 08:56:43 AM
In which Mrs Nick gives the roofers an earful about the leaky roof  scared2:

They are looking very pale.
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Barman on May 12, 2008, 08:57:20 AM
In which Mrs Nick gives the roofers an earful about the leaky roof  scared2:

They are looking very pale.
Any damage?  whistle:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Nick on May 12, 2008, 08:58:09 AM
I have given them some sweet tea and those foil blankets  noooo:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Nick on May 15, 2008, 06:58:30 AM
In which we discover that the roofing work has distrubed a mouse nest. Or more likely a mouse village  eeek:

Scuttle scuttle
Nibble nibble
Scream scream

 scared2:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 15, 2008, 07:35:24 AM
In which we discover that the roofing work has distrubed a mouse nest. Or more likely a mouse village  eeek:

Scuttle scuttle
Nibble nibble
Scream scream

 scared2:
Well at least it didn't disturb it, or you would have had a real problem.
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 15, 2008, 08:31:28 AM
Owing to the effects of long tern Nick-o--ray exposure Nick has to hire specialist help to deal with the rodent problem....


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaV2Fijf0.jpg&hash=76cdc8ed35728669e8165aeea261a039972f830e) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aV2Fijf0)
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Barman on May 15, 2008, 08:33:54 AM
In which we discover that the roofing work has distrubed a mouse nest. Or more likely a mouse village  eeek:

Scuttle scuttle
Nibble nibble
Scream scream

 scared2:
The gas will kill them... prolly...  whistle:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 15, 2008, 08:37:55 AM
Is that the gas on its own or the gas + Captain Calamity + Microwave  scared2:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Barman on May 15, 2008, 08:43:05 AM
Is that the gas on its own or the gas + Captain Calamity + Microwave  scared2:
Actually, 'twas prolly the gas that drove them out...  whistle:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Nick on May 15, 2008, 09:53:46 AM
They are doing something to the chimbleys.

About a ton of soot has just arrived whooshingly in our new Dining Room  evil:. Mrs Nick is working in there. SHe looks like a Panda! point:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Snoopy on May 15, 2008, 10:05:59 AM
Sh*t! ~ That happened to us when we had a chimney related problem with a stack that had been sealed off thirty years ago. It happened last year and we are still finding soot on books etc. It smells of soot for months after you think you have cleaned it all up. Soot only fell into one room but the residue went right through the house in an unseen cloud until everything was coated in a fine film of soot..... It was several days before we noticed just how far it had got. Even white shirts and stuff in wardrobes and drawers that were closed ended up having to be washed.
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Nick on May 15, 2008, 10:07:04 AM
Most encouraging. Thanks  evil:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Barman on May 15, 2008, 10:09:52 AM
Most encouraging. Thanks  evil:
point:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Snoopy on May 15, 2008, 10:14:10 AM
 surrender:  Sorry
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Nick on May 15, 2008, 10:17:52 AM
Mrs Nick has gone to bed! (after a detailed shower)
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 15, 2008, 10:49:36 AM
Mrs Nick has gone to bed! (after a detailed shower)

 rubschin: rubschin: rubschin:
 
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Nick on May 15, 2008, 10:55:40 AM
As Snoopy said, it gets everywhere  eeek:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Snoopy on May 15, 2008, 10:57:23 AM
You'll have to get your Dick Van Dyke accent and brush ready then  eyes:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Barman on May 15, 2008, 10:57:32 AM
As Snoopy said, it gets everywhere  eeek:
Did she clean herself with a roofah?  whistle:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Nick on May 15, 2008, 10:58:08 AM
 evil:

Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 15, 2008, 11:10:24 AM
You'll have to get your Dick and brush ready then 
eeek: eeek: eeek:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 15, 2008, 01:30:01 PM
As Snoopy said, it gets everywhere  eeek:
Did she clean herself with a roofah?  whistle:

That wasn't nice BM, poor Nick has enough on his mind without having to worry if Lady Nick is carrying on with the hired help.  whistle:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Nick on May 15, 2008, 02:47:43 PM
They reckon they will be finished by 5. Then the effing painter is turning up!!!
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Snoopy on May 15, 2008, 03:00:06 PM
I shan't be late! I'm glad she has showered, tell her not to bother with getting dressed.

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cagle.com%2Fhogan%2Ffeatures%2Fschulz_HA1%2Fsnoopy_at_easel.gif&hash=0c87e0602c99ee8675d4d23524aac5dec78b13a1)
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Uncle Mort on May 15, 2008, 03:08:06 PM
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fnewsimg.bbc.co.uk%2Fmedia%2Fimages%2F44559000%2Fjpg%2F_44559487_freud226.jpg&hash=ec13d4d259702ff6e67872f0229ac5691a17d700)

 rubschin:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Barman on May 15, 2008, 03:15:24 PM
As Snoopy said, it gets everywhere  eeek:
Did she clean herself with a roofah?  whistle:

That wasn't nice BM, poor Nick has enough on his mind without having to worry if Lady Nick is carrying on with the hired help.  whistle:
Did you see what I did tho...?  whistle:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Bar Wench on May 15, 2008, 03:18:27 PM
Yes but it was so poor we were trying to spare you the embarassment of acknowledgment.  noooo:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Snoopy on May 15, 2008, 03:20:21 PM
As Snoopy said, it gets everywhere  eeek:
Did she clean herself with a roofah?  whistle:

That wasn't nice BM, poor Nick has enough on his mind without having to worry if Lady Nick is carrying on with the hired help.  whistle:
Did you see what I did tho...?  whistle:

Oh you mean your Chinese Loofah?

Yep ~ we saw it  tunble:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Barman on May 15, 2008, 03:21:24 PM
 sad24:

I’ve been laughing at it all day…


…not at the funeral of course.  noooo:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Nick on May 15, 2008, 03:22:46 PM
Was it a nice funeral? You are back very early.
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Barman on May 15, 2008, 03:24:55 PM
Was it a nice funeral? You are back very early.
It was quick... which was nice...  whistle:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Nick on May 15, 2008, 03:26:46 PM
No party afterwards like?
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Barman on May 15, 2008, 03:29:47 PM
No party afterwards like?
yes...

But I have to go to dinner with the Russians at seven...  noooo:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Nick on May 15, 2008, 03:31:08 PM
Is your hovercraft full of eels?
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Barman on May 15, 2008, 03:34:06 PM
Is your hovercraft full of eels?
Yes, prolly...  noooo:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Nick on May 15, 2008, 04:04:25 PM
It is finished.

Now the bill to pay  cry:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Nick on May 15, 2008, 05:03:43 PM
Oh no.Mrs Nick has got her binoculars out and is inspecting the roof. SHe is finding fault! scared2:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 15, 2008, 05:08:54 PM
She'll have you up on a ladder checking it out next  point:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Snoopy on May 15, 2008, 05:25:10 PM
I'm surprised she isn't up there with a hose pipe checking for leaks.
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Nick on May 15, 2008, 05:38:29 PM
Sssssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.SHe'll hear you scared2:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Nick on May 15, 2008, 05:40:16 PM
My barrister neighbour walked past earlier en route for the pub ( evil:).

 "I make a lot of money out of hte roofing business. Good source of work."

"How?"

"Poeple falling to their deaths.Claims. Insurance.That sort of thing."

 eeek:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 15, 2008, 05:41:38 PM
Sssssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.SHe'll hear you scared2:

MRS NICK, SURELY NICK SHOULD BE UP ON THE ROOF CHECKING FOR BOTCHES IN THE ROOFING


 whistle:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Nick on May 15, 2008, 05:42:11 PM
It's OK. She is busy clearing up soot  point:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 15, 2008, 05:45:11 PM
Yes but the boy can hack your computer with ease remember  point:
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Barman on May 15, 2008, 06:10:50 PM
Mrs. Nick - check out the lead... or get Nick to do it!
Title: Re: Nick's all new ROOFER blog
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 15, 2008, 06:20:48 PM
Maybe we should start a 'FAO Mrs Nick' thread..........  rubschin: