The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Just One More on April 20, 2008, 06:37:46 AM

Title: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Just One More on April 20, 2008, 06:37:46 AM
[Cynic mode] Imagine "news" like this coming out just before publishing his story.[Cynic mode]

Like anybody would be interested?

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/politics/article3780550.ece
Title: Re: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Barman on April 20, 2008, 06:40:47 AM
Vomiting my arse!  cussing:

Gorging on vast amounts of food is clearly true – we can see where it all stayed…

Note to self: Make sure Prescott is last on the rope in case he stretches it.
Title: Re: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Berek on April 20, 2008, 07:55:51 AM
there are quite a few who should be swinging in the breeze
Title: Re: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Barman on April 20, 2008, 07:57:08 AM
there are quite a few who should be swinging in the breeze
Just make sure we put prezzer up last eh?
Title: Re: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Snoopy on April 20, 2008, 10:34:37 AM
With all due respect he is still spinning. "Still weighs over fifteen stone" means nothing but implies between 15 and 16 stone, erring toward the lower end, and that is clearly utter bollox! Frankly it is a non-story apart from the fact it reveals that he has been telling lies for so long he no longer recognises the truth ~ which at least confirms what we all thought.
Title: Re: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Miss Demeanour on April 21, 2008, 10:00:33 AM
I absolutley love this story - one of the best things I have read in a long time  lol:

It's all so obvious now - the reason he was such an old leach was because he had to eat everything in sight - including his secretary - sheer brilliance  lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Nick on April 21, 2008, 10:05:06 AM
Welcome back.Been busy werking, no doubt eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Miss Demeanour on April 21, 2008, 10:11:10 AM
Welcome back.Been busy werking, no doubt eveilgrin:

I have honestly been working very hard of late  sad24:- 

but thanks noticing my absence  cloud9:
Title: Re: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Grumpmeister on April 21, 2008, 10:44:56 AM
We've all missed you Miss D. Welcome back  cloud9:


Its actually been a typo in the article, he hasnt suffered from bulemia, is munchausen's-bullemia. A condition where the lying fat scrote suffering from the confition is compelled to stuff their face as if it was theri last meal and then come up with completely ridiculous medical conditions to explain whey they are the size of the Michellin man.
Title: Re: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Miss Demeanour on April 21, 2008, 10:58:56 AM
Hi GM

Are you not feeling very supportive towards your fellow man this morning lol:

Poor poor Mr P - he has a condition you know. He can help it. It's not his fault.

Title: Re: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Grumpmeister on April 21, 2008, 11:04:14 AM
Supportive of Prezza? Who do you think I am? Schwarzenegger? I'd need a team of industrial cranes to support that useless tub of lard. I admit I could stand to lose a couple of pounds but at least I havent tried blaming it on an eating disorder without actually looking into the the symptoms. Bulemics tend to be THIN, the only way he could look thin again would be in a hall of mirrors.  whistle:
Title: Re: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Miss Demeanour on April 21, 2008, 11:08:50 AM
Don't anorexic's tend to be thin - bulimic's just tend to be full  lol:
Title: Re: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Uncle Mort on April 21, 2008, 11:09:38 AM
I just keep thinking how fat he would have been if he hadn't been bulemic.  eeek:
Title: Re: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Grumpmeister on April 21, 2008, 11:12:15 AM
Fraid not Miss D. Bulemics stuff themselves then force themselces to regurgitate everything they've just eaten. An ex of mine is anorexic and I've worked with people who have bulemia in the past and Gutzilla certainly doesnt match them.

Title: Re: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Nick on April 21, 2008, 11:13:07 AM
I just keep thinking how fat he would have been if he hadn't been bulemic.  eeek:

He would have exploded. That's how Orson Welles died. eeek:
Title: Re: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Snoopy on April 21, 2008, 11:13:15 AM
I feel we are moving ever closer to another video clip of Mr Creosote here.
Title: Re: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Grumpmeister on April 21, 2008, 11:16:33 AM
Could have been a viable alternative to the nuclear deterrent. Behave or we'll drop the Prezza of Mass Destruction on you...  eeek:
Title: Re: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Nick on April 21, 2008, 11:18:31 AM
That would make quite a splash!
Title: Re: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Grumpmeister on April 21, 2008, 11:25:32 AM
Clean up would be easy though Nick, we just send you in with a microwave. Going on past experience the whole place would be immolated in minutes.  whistle:
Title: Re: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Nick on April 21, 2008, 11:28:36 AM
Nice word, "immolated"
Title: Re: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Darwins Selection on April 21, 2008, 11:35:16 AM
Nice word, "immolated"
Indeed, one of my favourites.

"Comestible" is another I should like to see used in this thread.
Title: Re: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Miss Demeanour on April 21, 2008, 12:38:31 PM
"Comestible" is another I should like to see used in this thread.

I can't be arsed to look it up - what does it mean?
Title: Re: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Grumpmeister on April 21, 2008, 12:40:29 PM
If my memory of Monty Python sketches is accurate I think it means edible.  whistle:
Title: Re: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Snoopy on April 21, 2008, 12:40:38 PM
 ::) Suitable to be eaten. Something that is suitable to be consumed. E.G. Chocolate


Title: Re: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Miss Demeanour on April 21, 2008, 12:42:28 PM
::) Suitable to be eaten. Something that is suitable to be consumed. E.G. Chocolate

Thank you for breaking it down into a language I can understand  lol:
Title: Re: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Nick on April 21, 2008, 12:47:22 PM
E lo how ar u|?

r u o k

wee lyke u















etc and other teenage shite noooo:
Title: Re: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Miss Demeanour on April 21, 2008, 12:56:43 PM
asib thanx (tic). Dtb
Title: Re: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Grumpmeister on April 21, 2008, 01:01:04 PM
asib thanx (tic). Dtb

Miss D seems to be making as much sense as usual then  rubschin:
Title: Re: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Snoopy on April 21, 2008, 01:01:21 PM
asib thanx (tic). Dtb


wtf?
Title: Re: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Bar Wench on April 21, 2008, 01:08:00 PM
F U N E X
Title: Re: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Nick on April 21, 2008, 01:22:58 PM
Good grief!

The youth of today!
Title: Re: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Barman on April 21, 2008, 01:26:39 PM
F U N E X
9 V F E 10 M
Title: Re: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Uncle Mort on April 21, 2008, 01:31:25 PM
Car Reg?
Title: Re: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Barman on April 21, 2008, 01:33:52 PM
Car Reg?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkWMcRlE1mQ
Title: Re: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Uncle Mort on April 21, 2008, 01:36:58 PM
White square?  rubschin:
(blocked by company firewall)
Title: Re: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Barman on April 21, 2008, 01:45:49 PM
White square?  rubschin:
(blocked by company firewall)
The Two Ronnies... Swedish for beginners...
Title: Re: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Bar Wench on April 21, 2008, 01:49:57 PM
Every couple of months my Mum leaves that skit on my answer machine. She is in hysterics everytime. That is what living alone with only a dog for company does for a mind.  noooo:
Title: Re: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Grumpmeister on April 21, 2008, 01:52:04 PM
I dont want to worry you Wenchy but there is strong evidence that madness is hereditary...  noooo:
Title: Re: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Barman on April 21, 2008, 01:52:19 PM
Every couple of months my Mum leaves that skit on my answer machine. She is in hysterics everytime. That is what living alone with only a dog for company does for a mind.  noooo:
noooo:
Title: Re: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Bar Wench on April 21, 2008, 01:55:11 PM
I dont want to worry you Wenchy but there is strong evidence that madness is hereditary...  noooo:

Oh I already have the hereditary bit!  lol: This is an added extra!
Title: Re: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Darwins Selection on April 21, 2008, 02:05:29 PM
That is what living alone with only a dog for company does for a mind. 
eyes: eyes: eyes:

Title: Re: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Barman on April 21, 2008, 02:39:01 PM
That is what living alone with only a dog for company does for a mind.
eyes: eyes: eyes:


noooo:
Title: Re: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Grumpmeister on April 21, 2008, 02:47:17 PM
I  was expecting that from Snoop not Darwin eeek:
Title: Re: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Snoopy on April 21, 2008, 02:55:08 PM
 censored:
Title: Re: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Grumpmeister on April 21, 2008, 03:08:09 PM
I know its upsetting that Darwin beat you too it but there's no need for language like that hound  eeek:
Title: Re: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Berek on April 21, 2008, 03:51:50 PM
I'm also bulemic, but I keep forgetting to throw up  drumroll:
Title: Re: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Nick on April 22, 2008, 10:59:15 AM
That would be the Alzheimer's then
Title: Re: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Darwins Selection on April 22, 2008, 11:27:58 AM
In truth, Prescott is Anorexic not Bulimic.

He just doesn't eat enough to maintain his natural pie-eating, benefit sponging, Northern monkey weight of 50 stone.

The vomiting it caused by looking at Mrs P and realising he is stuck with it.
Title: Re: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Just One More on April 22, 2008, 03:55:28 PM
In truth, Prescott is Anorexic not Bulimic.

He just doesn't eat enough to maintain his natural pie-eating, benefit sponging, Northern monkey weight of 50 stone.

The vomiting it caused by looking at Mrs P and realising he is stuck with it.

I would imagine Mrs P has it too
Title: Re: Shock, horror, Prezzer still weighs more than 15 stone
Post by: Barman on April 22, 2008, 04:52:36 PM
In truth, Prescott is Anorexic not Bulimic.

He just doesn't eat enough to maintain his natural pie-eating, benefit sponging, Northern monkey weight of 50 stone.

The vomiting it caused by looking at Mrs P and realising he is stuck with it.

I would imagine Mrs P has it too
;D