The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Barman on March 03, 2008, 01:36:34 PM

Title: I can’t see!
Post by: Barman on March 03, 2008, 01:36:34 PM
How many of you wear glasses?  confused:

I’m just doing a little light electronic work which requires some soldering… I can’t see the bloody end of the iron to work with it… For the first time I’ve realised that I need glasses for close-up work.  sad24:
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Grumpmeister on March 03, 2008, 01:45:14 PM
Ear glasses? Are they like visual hearing aids?  whistle:
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Barman on March 03, 2008, 01:46:13 PM
Ear glasses? Are they like visual hearing aids?  whistle:
See! I can't see the screen either...  noooo:
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Barman on March 03, 2008, 01:52:34 PM
And I've just soldered the bloody thing in round the wrong way...  Banghead
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Grumpmeister on March 03, 2008, 01:53:19 PM
Are you absolutely certain you arent related to Nick in some way.   noooo:
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Barman on March 03, 2008, 01:56:52 PM
Are you absolutely certain you arent related to Nick in some way.   noooo:
Can't he see then?  rubschin:
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 03, 2008, 01:56:52 PM
I need pint glasses - does that count?

But obviously these are not for my eyes  lol:
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Uncle Mort on March 03, 2008, 01:59:57 PM
For your jugs perhaps?  ;)
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 03, 2008, 02:02:48 PM
For your jugs perhaps?  ;)

I thought it was Wenchy that held the jugs ????
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Bar Wench on March 03, 2008, 02:07:18 PM
Bald and blind he is.  point:
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Barman on March 03, 2008, 02:11:47 PM
Thanks!  cussing:

I've bloody fixed it tho!  cloud9:
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Just One More on March 03, 2008, 02:13:10 PM
Nine replies and nobody has questioned/suggested why you are going blind  eeek:
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Bar Wench on March 03, 2008, 02:18:56 PM
Well because it's obviously over wanking isn't it.  ::)
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: grumpyoldsoldier on March 03, 2008, 02:34:02 PM
Young lady!!!!!! Go to my room this instant!!!!!
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 03, 2008, 02:36:26 PM
Well because it's obviously over wanking isn't it.  ::)

Can you over wank ??????
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: The Moan Ranger on March 03, 2008, 02:40:10 PM
Can we raise the level here a bit please - this offends my delicate Grammar school nature...
















A chap at school said he wanked 20 times one night and it did not affect his sight at all, although his knob, it seems resembled mincemeat in the morning.
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: tel on March 03, 2008, 02:41:14 PM
It was Wench wot started it!
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 03, 2008, 02:44:33 PM

Can we raise the level here a bit please - this offends my delicate Grammar school nature...


We could raise it but this would pose more of a danger for the Barman as he might trip and fall.
Mind you the bar will now have to have ramp access and everything. Tis going to cost him a fortune.





Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Grumpmeister on March 03, 2008, 02:46:48 PM
Easily solved Miss D, We just have to retrain Snoops as a guide dog.  whistle:
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 03, 2008, 02:49:02 PM
Easily solved Miss D, We just have to retrain Snoops as a guide dog.  whistle:

Pure genius  lol:
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Bar Wench on March 03, 2008, 02:51:20 PM
Well because it's obviously over wanking isn't it.  ::)

Can you over wank ??????

I do have a friend that once gave himself friction burns.  eeek:
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Barman on March 03, 2008, 02:52:22 PM
Well because it's obviously over wanking isn't it.  ::)
Oh Wenchy!  noooo:
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Snoopy on March 03, 2008, 02:54:21 PM
Easily solved Miss D, We just have to retrain Snoops as a guide dog.  whistle:

Pure genius  lol:


Not that I am unwilling to help but I have worn specs since I was 21   eeek:
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Bar Wench on March 03, 2008, 02:55:02 PM
See over wanking.
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Grumpmeister on March 03, 2008, 02:56:03 PM
Not that I am unwilling to help but I have worn specs since I was 21   eeek:

So its a case of the partially sighted leading the blind.  whistle:


But just think of the fun you could have leading Baldymort into trouble Snoops.....  eyes:
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Snoopy on March 03, 2008, 02:57:08 PM
Not that I am unwilling to help but I have worn specs since I was 21   eeek:

So its a case of the partially sighted leading the blind.  whistle:


But just think of the fun you could have leading Baldymort into trouble Snoops.....  eyes:

 rubschin: He seems quite capable of that without help.
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Barman on March 03, 2008, 03:00:13 PM
Not that I am unwilling to help but I have worn specs since I was 21   eeek:

So its a case of the partially sighted leading the blind.  whistle:


But just think of the fun you could have leading Baldymort into trouble Snoops.....  eyes:

 rubschin: He seems quite capable of that without help.
It's just close up stuff...  noooo:
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Grumpmeister on March 03, 2008, 03:00:32 PM
True Snoops, I'm certain he is somehow related to Nick.
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: grumpyoldsoldier on March 03, 2008, 03:01:16 PM
Well because it's obviously over wanking isn't it.  ::)

Can you over wank ??????
I think so, there is a formulae about stroke to length or sumfink like that
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Snoopy on March 03, 2008, 03:02:17 PM
Not that I am unwilling to help but I have worn specs since I was 21   eeek:

So its a case of the partially sighted leading the blind.  whistle:


But just think of the fun you could have leading Baldymort into trouble Snoops.....  eyes:

 rubschin: He seems quite capable of that without help.
It's just close up stuff...  noooo:


So LL led me to believe  eeek:
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Snoopy on March 03, 2008, 03:03:14 PM
Well because it's obviously over wanking isn't it.  ::)

Can you over wank ??????
I think so, there is a formulae about stroke to length or sumfink like that


That's why there's a rim round the top ..... to stop your hand slipping off.
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Bar Wench on March 03, 2008, 03:05:06 PM
Don't some people have the rim chopped off.  rubschin:
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 03, 2008, 03:06:06 PM
Don't some people have the rim chopped off.  rubschin:

Some people also have their hands chopped off as well - whaddya do then  rubschin:
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Barman on March 03, 2008, 03:06:19 PM
Not that I am unwilling to help but I have worn specs since I was 21   eeek:

So its a case of the partially sighted leading the blind.  whistle:


But just think of the fun you could have leading Baldymort into trouble Snoops.....  eyes:

 rubschin: He seems quite capable of that without help.
It's just close up stuff...  noooo:


So LL led me to believe  eeek:
eeek:
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: The Moan Ranger on March 03, 2008, 03:06:50 PM
Don't some people have the rim chopped off.  rubschin:

Erm...no. Would you have your pink lettuce chopped off?
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: tel on March 03, 2008, 03:07:15 PM
Don't some people have the rim chopped off.  rubschin:

Just the helmet cover, not the whole bloody helmet!
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Barman on March 03, 2008, 03:08:57 PM
Don't some people have the rim chopped off.  rubschin:

Erm...no. Would you have your pink lettuce chopped off?
lol:
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 03, 2008, 03:16:20 PM
Erm...no. Would you have your pink lettuce chopped off?

 eeek: eeek: eeek:

Good god no - don't we suffer enough already (this is a rhetorical question  lol:)
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: tel on March 03, 2008, 03:23:59 PM
Be glad you live in the west.
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Snoopy on March 03, 2008, 03:26:53 PM
Don't some people have the rim chopped off.  rubschin:

Biology not your strong subject then?

Study your Welshman and address such questions to him. When he stops laughing he may even give you the answer.
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Bar Wench on March 03, 2008, 03:29:01 PM
 redface:

I shall play closer attention in future.
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: tel on March 03, 2008, 03:30:34 PM
Don't some people have the rim chopped off.  rubschin:

Biology not your strong subject then?

Study your Welshman and address such questions to him. When he stops laughing he may even give you the answer.

You know that Wench is a bit on the naive side.

Mind you saying that about Wenchy, I had a girl-friend that thought men used toilet paper when they went for a leak. She had a fit of the giggles, when I explained the shaking process.
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: tel on March 03, 2008, 03:31:13 PM
redface:

I shall play closer attention in future.

Will you need glasses?
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 03, 2008, 03:36:22 PM
You know that Wench is a bit on the naive side.
Mind you saying that about Wenchy, I had a girl-friend that thought men used toilet paper when they went for a leak. She had a fit of the giggles, when I explained the shaking process.

I have known men that do that and don't shake as they consider it unhygenic eeek:

Also they would only sit on the loo to 'go' - never stand up  rubschin:
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Barman on March 03, 2008, 03:37:38 PM
You know that Wench is a bit on the naive side.
Mind you saying that about Wenchy, I had a girl-friend that thought men used toilet paper when they went for a leak. She had a fit of the giggles, when I explained the shaking process.

I have known men that do that and don't shake as they consider it unhygenic eeek:

Also they would only sit on the loo to 'go' - never stand up  rubschin:
Generally after many pints...  whistle:
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: tel on March 03, 2008, 03:42:27 PM
You know that Wench is a bit on the naive side.
Mind you saying that about Wenchy, I had a girl-friend that thought men used toilet paper when they went for a leak. She had a fit of the giggles, when I explained the shaking process.

I have known men that do that and don't shake as they consider it unhygenic eeek:

Also they would only sit on the loo to 'go' - never stand up  rubschin:
Generally after many pints...  whistle:

And then fall asleep?
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 03, 2008, 03:44:44 PM
Generally after many pints...  whistle:

Unfortunately no  noooo:

They were just arseholes  lol:
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: tel on March 03, 2008, 03:49:11 PM
 eeek:
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Grumpmeister on March 03, 2008, 03:54:59 PM
Generally after many pints...  whistle:

Unfortunately no  noooo:

They were just arseholes  lol:

 :lalalala Language Miss D, or you are going to ruin the 'butter wouldnt melt' image I have of you  whistle:
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Snoopy on March 03, 2008, 03:57:08 PM
Don't some people have the rim chopped off.  rubschin:

Biology not your strong subject then?

Study your Welshman and address such questions to him. When he stops laughing he may even give you the answer.

You know that Wench is a bit on the naive side.

Mind you saying that about Wenchy, I had a girl-friend that thought men used toilet paper when they went for a leak. She had a fit of the giggles, when I explained the shaking process.


The men of the Snoopy household do not shake .... we just give it a kick. whistle:
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Grumpmeister on March 03, 2008, 03:58:29 PM
Generally when they find you marking your territory in the lounge I suspect Snoops  whistle:
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 03, 2008, 04:02:36 PM
:lalalala Language Miss D, or you are going to ruin the 'butter wouldnt melt' image I have of you  whistle:


Ahhhhhhhhhhhh now butter I like  cloud9:

Sorry GM - I will behave surrender:
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: tel on March 03, 2008, 04:03:58 PM
:lalalala Language Miss D, or you are going to ruin the 'butter wouldnt melt' image I have of you  whistle:


Ahhhhhhhhhhhh now butter I like  cloud9:

Sorry GM - I will behave surrender:

For how long though? razz:
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 03, 2008, 04:10:35 PM
For how long though? razz:

As long as I can manage - which on a Monday isn't too bad but by Friday will be completely hopeless  lol:
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Grumpmeister on March 03, 2008, 04:12:11 PM
For how long though? razz:

As long as I can manage - which on a Monday isn't too bad but by Friday will be completely hopeless  lol:

I'll agree there, I still remember some of the stories you've told me about the girls night out on a Friday  eeek:
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 03, 2008, 04:14:48 PM
I'll agree there, I still remember some of the stories you've told me about the girls night out on a Friday  eeek:

How very true GM - had an amazing time on Friday just gone  - ended up in a small place in  Soho until the early hours. Had such a laugh  lol:
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: tel on March 03, 2008, 04:15:44 PM
I'll agree there, I still remember some of the stories you've told me about the girls night out on a Friday  eeek:

How very true GM - had an amazing time on Friday just gone  - ended up in a small place in  Soho until the early hours. Had such a laugh  lol:

Anything to do with a Mr P Raymond?
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 03, 2008, 04:16:54 PM
No - it was a new place that had just opened and we had the basement to ourselves almost  ;D
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Grumpmeister on March 03, 2008, 04:18:31 PM
Ah so not the place you all caused chaos in on the hen night...  eyes:
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 03, 2008, 04:22:14 PM
Ah so not the place you all caused chaos in on the hen night...  eyes:

No - had to move onto pastures new  lol:

Have a rugby club ball this Friday.

Another hen night the following weekend.

40th birthday bash the weekend after that

and then my brother's wedding the weekend after that.

I need to do some serious shopping  whistle:
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: tel on March 03, 2008, 04:22:52 PM
No - it was a new place that had just opened and we had the basement to ourselves almost  ;D

And?
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 03, 2008, 04:25:55 PM
No - it was a new place that had just opened and we had the basement to ourselves almost  ;D

And?

And .......

we enjoyed civilised conversation....debated the politics of the day....analysed the theory of relatively and drew up a list of possible Nobel Prize winners.

 happy001
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Snoopy on March 03, 2008, 04:26:45 PM
Ask a stupid question and ......................... ::)
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: tel on March 03, 2008, 04:27:06 PM
No - it was a new place that had just opened and we had the basement to ourselves almost  ;D

And?

And .......

we enjoyed civilised conversation....debated the politics of the day....analysed the theory of relatively and drew up a list of possible Nobel Prize winners.

 happy001

You got pissed.
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 03, 2008, 04:32:21 PM
You got pissed.

 redface:  redface: redface: redface:
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: Grumpmeister on March 03, 2008, 04:32:33 PM
Someone once said that when Miss D is pissed she can come a close second to Nick in the devasation stakes Tel.  eeek:
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: tel on March 03, 2008, 04:40:23 PM
Someone once said that when Miss D is pissed she can come a close second to Nick in the devasation stakes Tel.  eeek:

That tends to be the case with most females.
Title: Re: I can’t see!
Post by: The Moan Ranger on March 03, 2008, 05:00:55 PM
"Ah so..." Isn't that ChinaTown? (No quote facility on the DangleBerry...