The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Snoopy on February 29, 2008, 09:20:54 AM
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Two junior Beagles in bed with heavy colds (or avoiding St David's Day celebrations at school). I doubt they will stay in bed all day (No TV in bedroom) sad24: sad24:
THW has gone, with cold and cough, to school as it is music practice day. sad24:
Informed head of Minor and Minimus' absence by telephone but assured him they would look forward to celebrating St George's Day in April (Stunned silence from his end eveilgrin:).
Furniture for THW's bedroom due for delivery this morning.
Mother's Day cards and flowers to organise for the children to present on Sunday
Mother's Day flowers to organise for Mrs S to take with her when she visits her mother on Sunday
Vicar to be telephoned to inform him that Minor and Minimus will not be able to do their double act in Church on Sunday (Mothers Day Service)
Have to finish laying new carpet in THW's room.
Mrs S is going to work Banghead.
I may not be around here much today. surrender:
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I am on the roof painting again topday... well not right now obviously... noooo:
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Big roof or many coats of paint?
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I am on the roof painting again topday... well not right now obviously... noooo:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaVHAXxr.jpg&hash=7967c7f99e9ade9e8d6d949629de85a2e42e916a) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aVHAXxr)
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Big roof or many coats of paint?
Both. evil:
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I am on the roof painting again topday... well not right now obviously... noooo:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaVHAXxr.jpg&hash=7967c7f99e9ade9e8d6d949629de85a2e42e916a) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aVHAXxr)
lol:
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Big roof or many coats of paint?
Both. evil:
Ummm isn't it tiled? Who can tell if it has been painted? Are you just sitting up there with a beer?
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Big roof or many coats of paint?
Both. evil:
Ummm isn't it tiled? Who can tell if it has been painted? Are you just sitting up there with a beer?
We've been here before .... he isn't painting the tiles, just the supporting and surrounding woodwork.
The bits that we men know as "Barge Boards and Soffits" and the uninitiated call the Eaves
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Well Mrs Nick is here pestering me about choosing a paint colour in readiness for the return of hte Over Chatty Decorator on Monday.
How many difference shades of Green are there FFS? Banghead
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Forty ..... according to the song as I recall.
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Not according to Dulux. They have at least 2 million shades, maybe more cussing:
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Well Mrs Nick is here pestering me about choosing a paint colour in readiness for the return of hte Over Chatty Decorator on Monday.
How many difference shades of Green are there FFS? Banghead
Many and they are all different. eveilgrin:
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Trick question ..... you didn't mention Dulux.
BTW Mrs S is teaching colour theory this week .... her students are all having to make a "colour wheel" which helps in deciding what shades go with what. Do you want I should book you in?
I close my eyes and picture the emerald of the sea
from the fishin boats at Dingle to the shores at Dunehea
I miss the River Shannon and the folks at Skibbereen
the moorlands and meadows and their Forty Shades of Green
But most of all I miss a girl in Tipperary town
and most of all I miss her lips as soft as eiderdown
I long again to see and do the things we´ve done and seen
where the breeze is sweet as shalimar and there´s Forty Shades of Green
I wish that I could spend an hour at Dublin´s churning surf
I long to watch the farmers drain the bogs and spade the turf
to see again the thatching of the straw the women clean
I´d walk from Cork to Larne to see those Forty Shades of Green
But most of all I miss a girl in Tipperary town
and most of all I miss her lips as soft as eiderdown
I long again to see and do the things we´ve done and seen
where the breeze is sweet as shalimar and there´s Forty Shades of Green
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Big roof or many coats of paint?
Both. evil:
Ummm isn't it tiled? Who can tell if it has been painted? Are you just sitting up there with a beer?
We've been here before .... he isn't painting the tiles, just the supporting and surrounding woodwork.
The bits that we men know as "Barge Boards and Soffits" and the uninitiated call the Eaves
'Cept the woodwork is concrete work...
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Big roof or many coats of paint?
Both. evil:
Ummm isn't it tiled? Who can tell if it has been painted? Are you just sitting up there with a beer?
I am not sitting up there with a beer – I am mostly perched perilously on the top of a ladder… scared2:
See picture elsewhere...
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Well they made it until 10.06 when they crept downstairs and turned on the TV. ::)
"Feeling better ~ it must be the medicine Mummy gave us" rubschin:
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But that is part of being ill. Being on the sofa with the ill blanket and the tv.
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Hhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! rubschin:
Well it saves me running up and down stairs I s'pose but Mrs S will NOT BE HAPPY 'bout it.
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Big roof or many coats of paint?
Both. evil:
Ummm isn't it tiled? Who can tell if it has been painted? Are you just sitting up there with a beer?
We've been here before .... he isn't painting the tiles, just the supporting and surrounding woodwork.
The bits that we men know as "Barge Boards and Soffits" and the uninitiated call the Eaves
'Cept the woodwork is concrete work...
Concrete? At what time is Kevin McCloud going to appear to tell us you are six weeks into the job, three months behind schedule and way over budget?
Oh and the bedroom furniture just arrived ~ FLAT PACKED! ~ I'll fvcking kill her.
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Big roof or many coats of paint?
Both. evil:
Ummm isn't it tiled? Who can tell if it has been painted? Are you just sitting up there with a beer?
We've been here before .... he isn't painting the tiles, just the supporting and surrounding woodwork.
The bits that we men know as "Barge Boards and Soffits" and the uninitiated call the Eaves
'Cept the woodwork is concrete work...
Concrete? At what time is Kevin McCloud going to appear to tell us you are six weeks into the job, three months behind schedule and way over budget?
Oh and the bedroom furniture just arrived ~ FLAT PACKED! ~ I'll fvcking kill her.
Flat pack! point:
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Big roof or many coats of paint?
Both. evil:
Ummm isn't it tiled? Who can tell if it has been painted? Are you just sitting up there with a beer?
We've been here before .... he isn't painting the tiles, just the supporting and surrounding woodwork.
The bits that we men know as "Barge Boards and Soffits" and the uninitiated call the Eaves
'Cept the woodwork is concrete work...
Concrete? At what time is Kevin McCloud going to appear to tell us you are six weeks into the job, three months behind schedule and way over budget?
Oh and the bedroom furniture just arrived ~ FLAT PACKED! ~ I'll fvcking kill her.
Flat pack! point:
I know, I know ..... I refused to get it from Ikea for that very reason. Told her to pick something elsewhere. Turns out she went to Argos instead Banghead
Well this time they (the wimmin) can put it together and I'll sit on the bed and make "helpful" suggestions.
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It's gone 11am, haven't you better get started ;)
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I am waiting for the electric screwdriver to charge ;)
Meanwhile I have nursing duties to attend to. whistle:
Trust me I can string this out until SWMBO returns at 12.30 and still look knackered when she gets here. tunble:
FFS I had a heart attack only 6 weeks ago, I should be learning to pay a harp angel1 not building fvcking flat pack furniture, which incidently I cannot lift and carry up the stairs.
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Our flatpack new Dining table is still in its box, pending decoratino of D Room and new carpet. We had to move the box containing the table top the other day to give some extra room for the builders. It took four of us to lift it evil:
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At least you understand my feelings then. Thank you that makes me feel much better cloud9:
I was worried it was just me being "unreasonable" which seems to be the one common bond between both wives ~ That I am unreasonable eeek:
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I sympathise Snoopy. When I had the children's beds delivered I had to unpack the flatpacks downstairs and take each piece up separately.
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I just went to make a bacon sandwich. The top flew off the ketchup bottle and a large blob of ketchup landed on Mrs Nick's head. eeek:
It was an accident FFS. Had I been trying to get ketchup on her head I would have failed to do so. Why can't she understand that?
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At least you understand my feelings then. Thank you that makes me feel much better cloud9:
I was worried it was just me being "unreasonable" which seems to be the one common bond between both wives ~ That I am unreasonable eeek:
All men are. I don't know why Mrs S seems suprised!
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At least you understand my feelings then. Thank you that makes me feel much better cloud9:
I was worried it was just me being "unreasonable" which seems to be the one common bond between both wives ~ That I am unreasonable eeek:
All men are. I don't know why Mrs S seems suprised!
cussing: No we are not! cussing: It is just that wimmin have unrealistic expectations of us cussing:
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I disagree.
She was probably trying to be frugal. Have you seen the price of non-flatpack furniture!
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I just went to make a bacon sandwich. The top flew off the ketchup bottle and a large blob of ketchup landed on Mrs Nick's head. eeek:
It was an accident FFS. Had I been trying to get ketchup on her head I would have failed to do so. Why can't she understand that?
You could blame whoever last used the ketchup bottle and failed to screw the top on properly causing it to fly off when you shook the bottle ..... BUT I 'spect that will turn out to have been you.
Just belt her over the head with the bottle as a demonstration of what a deliberate act would have been .... she may then see the difference.
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I disagree.
She was probably trying to be frugal. Have you seen the price of non-flatpack furniture!
happy001 happy001 happy001
FRUGAL? Is thisthe same wife who two days ago took daughter to buy a new shade for the bedroom lamp and spent more on it than I spend on the friggin carpet for the whole room? FRUGAL! She doesn't know the word exists.
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You seem a little testy today! eeek:
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I'm still painting if anybody is interested... sad24:
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Yes, thank you, very interesting
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tunble: Riveted B.M. absolutely riveted
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tunble: Riveted B.M. absolutely riveted
Oh good! cloud9:
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You seem a little testy today! eeek:
Moi? Perish the thought. Angry9:
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I'm still painting if anybody is interested... sad24:
Point the webcam at it and we can watch it dry.
tunble:
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I'm still painting if anybody is interested... sad24:
Point the webcam at it and we can watch it dry.
tunble:
Brush washed now... I'm done for the day. whistle:
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You seem a little testy today! eeek:
Moi? Perish the thought. Angry9:
She meant Testes.
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point: Wife and daughter have attacked the flat pack furniture happy001
Guess who has spent the censored: morning putting it all together surrender:
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point: Wife and daughter have attacked the flat pack furniture happy001
Guess who has spent the censored: morning putting it all together surrender:
happy100
Poor you... how many bits missing? whistle:
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How many fingers missing, more like evil:
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All done, no missing pieces or fingers .... daughter is currently moving back into her "new room" .... I've even got her internet wireless connection working. whistle:
Tomorrow is taken care of ... cards bought and written in by little boys, tulips purchased and in a bucket of water hidden in the shed ready for the BIG SURPRISE.
Vicar does not expect little boys to do a "reading" and wife is taking all children to visit her mother tomorrow so I have the whole day to myself.
Could life get any better? cloud9:
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All done, no missing pieces or fingers .... daughter is currently moving back into her "new room" .... I've even got her internet wireless connection working. whistle:
Tomorrow is taken care of ... cards bought and written in by little boys, tulips purchased and in a bucket of water hidden in the shed ready for the BIG SURPRISE.
Vicar does not expect little boys to do a "reading" and wife is taking all children to visit her mother tomorrow so I have the whole day to myself.
Could life get any better? cloud9:
Well... I've just dropped LL off at the airport... whistle:
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All done, no missing pieces or fingers .... daughter is currently moving back into her "new room" .... I've even got her internet wireless connection working. whistle:
Tomorrow is taken care of ... cards bought and written in by little boys, tulips purchased and in a bucket of water hidden in the shed ready for the BIG SURPRISE.
Vicar does not expect little boys to do a "reading" and wife is taking all children to visit her mother tomorrow so I have the whole day to myself.
Could life get any better? cloud9:
Well... I've just dropped LL off at the airport... whistle:
From how high?
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All done, no missing pieces or fingers .... daughter is currently moving back into her "new room" .... I've even got her internet wireless connection working. whistle:
Tomorrow is taken care of ... cards bought and written in by little boys, tulips purchased and in a bucket of water hidden in the shed ready for the BIG SURPRISE.
Vicar does not expect little boys to do a "reading" and wife is taking all children to visit her mother tomorrow so I have the whole day to myself.
Could life get any better? cloud9:
Well... I've just dropped LL off at the airport... whistle:
From how high?
'bout two feet...
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Good man. Debauchery beckons for the rest of the weekend?
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Good man. Debauchery beckons for the rest of the weekend?
For the rest of the next two weeks... whistle:
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Good man. Debauchery beckons for the rest of the weekend?
Sure does ~ I'm picking her up at this end eyes:
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Good man. Debauchery beckons for the rest of the weekend?
Sure does ~ I'm picking her up at this end eyes:
hahahahahaha! point:
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Good man. Debauchery beckons for the rest of the weekend?
Sure does ~ I'm picking her up at this end eyes:
hahahahahaha! point:
We will be sharing a Bonio or two.
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Good man. Debauchery beckons for the rest of the weekend?
Sure does ~ I'm picking her up at this end eyes:
hahahahahaha! point:
We will be sharing a Bonio or two.
I'd have sent a few boxes if I'd known... whistle:
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Good man. Debauchery beckons for the rest of the weekend?
Sure does ~ I'm picking her up at this end eyes:
hahahahahaha! point:
We will be sharing a Bonio or two.
I'd have sent a few boxes if I'd known... whistle:
A kind thought BM but she did say it was all going on your Credit Card anyway. I just have to put on a clean collar apparently. 8)
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Good man. Debauchery beckons for the rest of the weekend?
Sure does ~ I'm picking her up at this end eyes:
hahahahahaha! point:
We will be sharing a Bonio or two.
I'd have sent a few boxes if I'd known... whistle:
A kind thought BM but she did say it was all going on your Credit Card anyway. I just have to put on a clean collar apparently. 8)
No problemo then! whistle:
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Good man. Debauchery beckons for the rest of the weekend?
Sure does ~ I'm picking her up at this end eyes:
hahahahahaha! point:
We will be sharing a Bonio or two.
I'd have sent a few boxes if I'd known... whistle:
A kind thought BM but she did say it was all going on your Credit Card anyway. I just have to put on a clean collar apparently. 8)
No problemo then! whistle:
I smell a rat! rubschin: He is too complacent about this .... me taking off with LL for a Bonio or two he might well accept but spending his money? He's up to summat. scared2:
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Good man. Debauchery beckons for the rest of the weekend?
Sure does ~ I'm picking her up at this end eyes:
hahahahahaha! point:
We will be sharing a Bonio or two.
I'd have sent a few boxes if I'd known... whistle:
A kind thought BM but she did say it was all going on your Credit Card anyway. I just have to put on a clean collar apparently. 8)
No problemo then! whistle:
I smell a rat! rubschin: He is too complacent about this .... me taking off with LL for a Bonio or two he might well accept but spending his money? He's up to summat. scared2:
I'm free! cloud9:
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Good man. Debauchery beckons for the rest of the weekend?
Sure does ~ I'm picking her up at this end eyes:
hahahahahaha! point:
We will be sharing a Bonio or two.
I'd have sent a few boxes if I'd known... whistle:
A kind thought BM but she did say it was all going on your Credit Card anyway. I just have to put on a clean collar apparently. 8)
No problemo then! whistle:
I smell a rat! rubschin: He is too complacent about this .... me taking off with LL for a Bonio or two he might well accept but spending his money? He's up to summat. scared2:
I'm free! cloud9:
Free enough to buy a fisheye lens and not hide the receipt?
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Good man. Debauchery beckons for the rest of the weekend?
Sure does ~ I'm picking her up at this end eyes:
hahahahahaha! point:
We will be sharing a Bonio or two.
I'd have sent a few boxes if I'd known... whistle:
A kind thought BM but she did say it was all going on your Credit Card anyway. I just have to put on a clean collar apparently. 8)
No problemo then! whistle:
I smell a rat! rubschin: He is too complacent about this .... me taking off with LL for a Bonio or two he might well accept but spending his money? He's up to summat. scared2:
I'm free! cloud9:
Free enough to buy a fisheye lens and not hide the receipt?
Indeed! cloud9:
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Good man. Debauchery beckons for the rest of the weekend?
Sure does ~ I'm picking her up at this end eyes:
hahahahahaha! point:
We will be sharing a Bonio or two.
I'd have sent a few boxes if I'd known... whistle:
A kind thought BM but she did say it was all going on your Credit Card anyway. I just have to put on a clean collar apparently. 8)
No problemo then! whistle:
I smell a rat! rubschin: He is too complacent about this .... me taking off with LL for a Bonio or two he might well accept but spending his money? He's up to summat. scared2:
I'm free! cloud9:
Free enough to buy a fisheye lens and not hide the receipt?
Indeed! cloud9:
He must be pissed. I've never seen him this brave .... well once but LL soon brought him to heel.
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Good man. Debauchery beckons for the rest of the weekend?
Sure does ~ I'm picking her up at this end eyes:
hahahahahaha! point:
We will be sharing a Bonio or two.
I'd have sent a few boxes if I'd known... whistle:
A kind thought BM but she did say it was all going on your Credit Card anyway. I just have to put on a clean collar apparently. 8)
No problemo then! whistle:
I smell a rat! rubschin: He is too complacent about this .... me taking off with LL for a Bonio or two he might well accept but spending his money? He's up to summat. scared2:
I'm free! cloud9:
Free enough to buy a fisheye lens and not hide the receipt?
Indeed! cloud9:
He must be pissed. I've never seen him this brave .... well once but LL soon brought him to heel.
Ah... but I can delete it all before she even gets off the 'plane... whistle:
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rubschin: Rats! evil:
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rubschin: Rats! evil:
point:
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I'll get you yet! cussing:
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You could always take screenshots Snoop, That buttin to the right of F12 on your keyboard is useful. Then just paste it into word or paint.... whistle:
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You could always take screenshots Snoop, That buttin to the right of F12 on your keyboard is useful. Then just paste it into word or paint.... whistle:
If he ever gets his new Vi$ta PC working! point:
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I hate to worry you BM but what has he been using in the meantime, laptops also have a printscreen option you know. point:
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The button to the right of F12 on this keyboard has the word DELETE on it evil:
Perhaps you haven't seen a three year old Dell Latitude CPi keyboard but the screen print button is above F10.
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I dont rate a works laptop and if I was buying one it wouldnt be a Dell
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I have it all saved! eveilgrin:
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And safely tucked in your knickers, one imagines
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And safely tucked in your knickers, one imagines
eeek:
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Indeed! eeek:
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I dont rate a works laptop and if I was buying one it wouldnt be a Dell
I accepted it in part settlement of a debt for a "private" job that was proving hard to collect the cash on. I only just beat the bailiffs to the door. At times like that one takes what oone can get.
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I have it all saved! eveilgrin:
::)
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And safely tucked in your knickers, one imagines
Our chef keeps her cash in her bra. Notes only of course. eeek:
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I dont rate a works laptop and if I was buying one it wouldnt be a Dell
I accepted it in part settlement of a debt for a "private" job that was proving hard to collect the cash on. I only just beat the bailiffs to the door. At times like that one takes what oone can get.
True.
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And safely tucked in your knickers, one imagines
Our chef keeps her cash in her bra. Notes only of course. eeek:
How do you know?
And you have your own chef?
eeek:
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And safely tucked in your knickers, one imagines
Our chef keeps her cash in her bra. Notes only of course. eeek:
How do you know?
And you have your own chef?
eeek:
He is the treasurer… eyes:
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Company chef and she claims expenses that I refund to her.
She used to cook for Princess Anne (many years ago)
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Company chef and she claims expenses that I refund to her.
She used to cook for Princess Anne (many years ago)
Why was she sacked?
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Don't think she was. rubschin:
She was a trolly dolly in the 60's and has, and still does lead a very interesting life.
She's also totally loopy.
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Is she left handed?
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Don't think she was. rubschin:
She was a trolly dolly in the 60's and has, and still does lead a very interesting life.
She's also totally loopy.
I bet she just loves it when you call her a trolly dolly! ;D
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yes happy088
to both questions
Notice that many of the emoticons are lefthanded rubschin:
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So they are! eeek:
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yes happy088
to both questions
Notice that many of the emoticons are lefthanded rubschin:
doh:
eeek:
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Even BM's sig!!! point: point: point: point:
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Even BM's sig!!! point: point: point: point:
evil:
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Bugger! ~ We'll never hear the end of this now. Banghead
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whacky115 happy088 happ096 doh: surrender: rubschin: point:
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Shit.
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Righty point: point: point: point: point:
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Righty and proud!
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Righty and common, more like
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Righty and common, more like
I AM NOT COMMON!
evil:
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Hang on a minute. Those emoticons are mirror images so are really right handed.
He said, clutching at straws ..... desperately
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Righty and common, more like
I AM NOT COMMON!
evil:
Better common than cack-handed.
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Nope. Definitely lefties!
http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-cac1.htm (http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-cac1.htm) evil:
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Righty and common, more like
I AM NOT COMMON!
evil:
Better common than cack-handed.
I am neither cack-handed nor common! <stalks off with uncommon nose in the air>
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Nope. Definitely lefties!
http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-cac1.htm (http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-cac1.htm) evil:
So in essence you are Shit-handed .... or to translate the French you have Hands of shit. rubschin: Makes sense to me.
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OK, fellow lefties, time for retribution eveilgrin:
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OK, fellow lefties, time for retribution eveilgrin:
Start your own left-handed virtual pub then... point:
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Now here's the story of my life,
I've had fun but lots of strife,
For I was born left-handed, but I'm proud
To be one of the elite, right-handers we can beat
We're the 10% that stand out from the crowd!
But as a little lad, oh the problems that I had
Winding clockwork toys was just a mystery
Tying laces was a pain, couldn't get it in my brain
Everything was back-to-front it seemed to me
Chorus
We're the Cack-Handed Kings, we're the LEFTIES
You right-handers just haven't got a clue
'Cos if you'd been through what we've been through
Then maybe you would feel superior too!
At 5 I started school where I was treated like a fool
Being left-handed I stood out from the pack
And learning how to write was not a struggle - more a fight
For I had my left hand tied behind my back
"Now get it in your head" the sympathetic teacher said
"You use the right and not the Devil's side"
Those supposed men of vision caused me pain and such derision
Is it any wonder often times I cried?
We're the Gibble Fisted Friends, we're the LEFTIES (repeat chorus)
Time then came when my voice dropped
And my face was one big spot
But I was glad to see my teenage years arrive,
Because I use my left, I was different from the rest
And the girls saw me as something of a prize!
I learned some handy tricks in the back row of the flicks
It used to drive my girlfriends all berserk
For their eyes would keep apace of my right hand - just in case
And they never saw my left one go to work!
We're the Southpawed Princes, we're the LEFTIES (repeat chorus)
Well I'm married now, worst luck
But my wife has given up
Asking me to help with chores like peeling spuds,
Or trying to cut the bread, I'll get a 4 x 2" wedge
Lose three fingertips and half a pint of blood
I would love to be a dad, but we've hit a little snag
If you can help please tell us what to do
The problem simply said, is that I'm a left-hand thread
But my wife you see, now she's a right-hand .....OH, YES WE'RE THE
Scrummy-Handed Heroes, we're the LEFTIES (repeat chorus)
Now we reach today, where you stand and watch me play
And yes, I play right-handed it is true
For the very simple fact is that I've had to adapt
Something all we southpaws have to try and do
We have trouble tying ties, writing cheques out, using knives
and scissors made for use in your right hand
And when it comes to sport once again we are left short
In hockey and in polo we are banned
We're the Cuddy Wifter Winners, we're the LEFTIES (repeat chorus)
Now I've finished off my song and as you move along
Please bear in mind the things I've had to say
And please show some respect for your friends who use the left
Thanks for listening to me this Left-Handers Day.
Copyright: Ian Radburn, 2004
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Blmey .... another one comes out opf the closet eeek:
We do seem to have more than our fair share BM.
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Blmey .... another one comes out opf the closet eeek:
We do seem to have more than our fair share BM.
I know... scared2:
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rubschin: I didn't expect to get a new keyboard but there was one in the box. I've noticed that it seems to fail on the i from time to time. Perhaps I need to bash it harder ....... or switch back to my old keyboard. rubschin:
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rubschin: I didn't expect to get a new keyboard but there was one in the box. I've noticed that it seems to fail on the i from time to time. Perhaps I need to bash it harder ....... or switch back to my old keyboard. rubschin:
Who needs them? whistle:
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Well I find that I do or my messages look like texting and make even less sense than usual.......... if that is possible.
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my messages . .make even less sense than usual..... if that is possible.
That is a bit far-fetched.
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my messages . .make even less sense than usual..... if that is possible.
That is a bit far-fetched.
"Like a bucket of tea from China" as me dear old mum used to say.
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my messages . .make even less sense than usual..... if that is possible.
That is a bit far-fetched.
"Like a bucket of tea from China" as me dear old mum used to say.
lol: