The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Nick on May 18, 2007, 08:09:11 PM
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Feel free to add your woes>
Mine
1. Boy out of school AGAIN for fighting
2. Stupid project manager who is a cross between Stalin and Hitler, and is, to boot an asian lady, so you can't fight back without being accused of racism or sexism or both
3. Twat drove into the back of my car today whilst stopped at Give Way sign. Good news is he wrote his car off. Bad news is that whilst exchanging details I got another bad news call on the phone.
Can we PLEASE carry guns soon??
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mmm, I have had copy that I had lovingly prepared edited by my boss because she thought it it did not comply with the coporate style.. I am wondering if I should have a few more drinks then post an e-mail telling her that I had copied the the paragraph in question from a company brochure...... "Barman!!! A pint of your best cooking lager please..."
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Well, having just had one, I suppose I can join this club, but I claim seniority because I had the first one last Tuesday as well.
spider:
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I have a heart scan in 3 weeks
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I've been advised to take Red Bull and Pro plus tablets by my quack. eeek:
Great. Now I can't bloody sleep. confused:
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Another one of my beers exploded last night! cussing:
This time the containment vessel had a crate of Carlsberg (empty) on the lid which blew off (snigger) sending beer and empty bottles all over the garage. noooo:
Luckily, I hadn?t followed Wenchy?s advice and cleared up the first lot. whistle:
Oh, and we?ve acquired a new puppy too? sad24:
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It will all end in tears.. shit and puddles of piss all over the snug floor.... oh dear.
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It will all end in tears.. shit and puddles of piss all over the snug floor.... oh dear.
Nope. Puppy stays in garage ? seems happy lapping up stale beer at the moment. whistle:
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Ah! I was talking about the clientele lol:
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Ah! I was talking about the clientele lol:
lol: lol: lol: Silly sod!
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Oh, and we?ve acquired a new puppy too?
OK I can take a hint.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fa1.vox.com%2F6a00b8ea0714ea1bc000c2252bdcb1549d-120pi&hash=18578e2409b509e5b34346dc82ceded5fdde43f8)
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Oh, and we?ve acquired a new puppy too?
OK I can take a hint.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fa1.vox.com%2F6a00b8ea0714ea1bc000c2252bdcb1549d-120pi&hash=18578e2409b509e5b34346dc82ceded5fdde43f8)
OI, Where do you think you're going? You aren't allowed out without your lead on! Get back in here, there are ankles to nip.
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Ankle nipping is PUPPIES work .... It would seem that ageism has robbed me of my position of Top Dog around here.
'spose, since the Barman has found a younger replacement, I could do what old dogs do and eat something nasty and sick2: in the corner occasionally.
Well if you're sure I won't be in the way. I'll just sit here and dream of my past glories.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.google.com%2Furl%3Fq%3Dhttp%3A%2F%2Fi38.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe120%2FSilenced_dreams%2FSnoopy.jpg%26amp%3Busg%3DAFrqEzcGu5UJE0Y8YycpUoTm3XxpYgQ4SQ&hash=22696b77fdeb45790aacf5670c261d6c031ec566)
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Wecome to the future! whistle:
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Well OK then, Just as long as you don't start with any daft ideas of trying to chase cats. rubschin:
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Wouldn't know what to do it if I caught one. noooo:
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Well OK then, Just as long as you don't start with any daft ideas of trying to chase cats. rubschin:
Just chasing bugs in the garden at the moment ? no doubt she will work up to bigger prey? whistle:
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Wecome to the future! whistle:
Really cute - where did you get her Barman? Was it from a shelter?
Talk about messes tho - cats bringing birds, mice, squirrels, hares...and eating them in the house on a cream carpet is worse than the odd puddle!!!
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Wecome to the future! whistle:
Really cute - where did you get her Barman? Was it from a shelter?
Talk about messes tho - cats bringing birds, mice, squirrels, hares...and eating them in the house on a cream carpet is worse than the odd puddle!!!
She is a cutie for sure ? followed a friend home and somehow though a bizarre sequence of events and not a small amount of alcohol she ended up with me. noooo:
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Wecome to the future! whistle:
Really cute - where did you get her Barman? Was it from a shelter?
Talk about messes tho - cats bringing birds, mice, squirrels, hares...and eating them in the house on a cream carpet is worse than the odd puddle!!!
She is a cutie for sure ? followed a friend home and somehow though a bizarre sequence of events and not a small amount of alcohol she ended up with me. noooo:
You're just a big softie, blaming the alcohol!!!
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Wecome to the future! whistle:
Really cute - where did you get her Barman? Was it from a shelter?
Talk about messes tho - cats bringing birds, mice, squirrels, hares...and eating them in the house on a cream carpet is worse than the odd puddle!!!
She is a cutie for sure ? followed a friend home and somehow though a bizarre sequence of events and not a small amount of alcohol she ended up with me. noooo:
You're just a big softie, blaming the alcohol!!!
whistle:
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Oh! It's a lady dog ..... that's a horse of a different colour.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fdogonablog.wordpress.com%2Ffiles%2F2007%2F01%2Fmeet_snoopy_big.gif&hash=47c997a496152e73dcb0ddefbf33eea61170fe3d)
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Oh! It's a lady dog ..... that's a horse of a different colour.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fdogonablog.wordpress.com%2Ffiles%2F2007%2F01%2Fmeet_snoopy_big.gif&hash=47c997a496152e73dcb0ddefbf33eea61170fe3d)
I'll see what I can do... ;)
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I'm ready whenever she is.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.phapsauy.com%2FCartoons%2FSnoopy%2FSnoopy-008.jpg&hash=31fd5b0adba7c46979c291f35080d5bf508084af)
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I'm ready whenever she is.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.phapsauy.com%2FCartoons%2FSnoopy%2FSnoopy-008.jpg&hash=31fd5b0adba7c46979c291f35080d5bf508084af)
You dirty dog ? she?s only 8 weeks old! noooo:
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redface: I can wait.
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And now I have a stiff neck and permanent headache. I assume mild whiplash injury. Hmmmmmmmm wonder if I can get "compensation"? whacky115
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And now I have a stiff neck and permanent headache. I assume mild whiplash injury. Hmmmmmmmm wonder if I can get "compensation"? whacky115
Miss Whiplash you say? eyes: sex014
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Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
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And now I have a stiff neck and permanent headache. I assume mild whiplash injury. Hmmmmmmmm wonder if I can get "compensation"? whacky115
Whiplash is for wusses.
You need a proper injury to moan about like skinned shins or gravel rash on your nose.
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Whiplash is for pusses.
eeek:
Your private life is none of my concern
(see me in Agony Corner)
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Huh! I see your week and raise you mine! evil:
Monday: (early AM) collect visiting Brother & Sister in Law from England. Drive them back via the Heads of the Valley road to save the bridge fee. Bad move. Ended up 90 meters underground in a coal mine?(Don?t Ask!!! But it was very dark.) 16h30 Left them at home whilst I attended an evening meeting at the civic centre that I could not get out of, it overran, I arrived home with dinner at 20h30 to find them in one room and other half in another, one hot with door open the other freezing. Fed separately.
Tuesday: took them to visit a 100 acre open-air museum, walked every acre and then some. Drove them back to England, early evening stopping one way for worst meal ever eaten. He wanted a traditional Pub Meal, it was?.I offered to pay for something nice at a real restaurant. Got home about 22h30
Wednesday: Voluntary work in community caf?, normally quiet, some idiot decided that Wednesday would be a good day to feed 26 OAP?s a cooked dinner (from scratch on family size cooker in small kitchen) for ?1.00 per head. Followed by trip to the hospital, pre booked appointment not running on time and waiting area looked like a building site (it was I think).
Thursday: Escorted a blind lady on a walk along a canal bank with a group of normal over 50?s walkers. Had to steer her around puddles and dog deposits and stop her from walking off the edge of the path and hitting her head on low bridges.
Friday: Extraordinary General Meeting to sort out loose ends and changes to a constitution.
Saturday: I thought I had a day off, but the kids arrived with the Grandkids so no peace there then.
Sunday: 1st day on new ?job?. As neighbours daughter so nicely put it ?standing there looking like a mong!? Charming. I was single handily manning a display for a Wild life Trust and trying to attract new members. We had permission to set up in the foyer of a local supermarket. I was asked to be there at 09h00 and told there would be someone else there from 10h00 to 12h00. The shop did not open till 10h00 and the ?someone else? did not materialize. 7 hours on my own and no breaks, I wish I had taken a potty!
Here it gets a bit embarrassing. redface: I was asked to mind bikes and pushchairs and kids and then someone came along with a double buggy with two small children and a small dog on the tray under the buggy. I later discover it is a Shitzu and worth ?600 to ?800.
Daddy in charge of the pushchair is not a pleasant looking guy and is yelling at kids, he then asks if I will hold the dog whist he goes into the shop for 2 minutes. He does not want to tie it up because he is scared it will be stolen. I have MUG tattooed across my forehead and agree. He and kids vanish and are not seen for next 20 minutes or so, security guard, nice guy who I have been chatting too on and off all day sidles over and says that they dog owner is one of the big drug dealers off the local estate. I am now very unhappy. Many people stop to play with dog no one wants to talk about wildlife, which after all, is why I am there. Man and buggy appear and I hand the lead over to him, hand appears on his shoulder and it is the store manager arresting him for shoplifting, 2 bottles of wine tucked in the pushchair. I get handed the dog and left with it for next half hour or so. I know I cannot take it home so try to find someone to take it if he ends up at police station. He reappears with kids still in buggy takes dog and does not even say thank you.
Manager appears and luckily finds it hysterical that I was the one left with the dog. We have had previous disagreements about the positioning of one of the security cameras in the store overlooking the keypad for card pin?s which I want repositioned.
Monday: 09h00 over to community office to take over another new (unpaid) job, mentioned the incident on Sunday and everyone thought it was highly amusing, that I could have been charged as an accomplice to shoplifting. They pointed out that he could not have gone in to the store, if I had not held the dog, so I guess they were correct. They were still giggling this afternoon because I got caught up in a survey, planned for weeks ago, with one of us paired with one local police officer, knocking on each door on that same estate to ask how satisfied they residents are with the policing in the area. I thought that was a laugh, but still. Walked socks off again. Had some interesting answers and not sure how to spell some of the words used.
Yes you guessed it ? I got the house that the buggy and the dog came from. The buggy was outside and for some strange reason, they would not open the door to us. Well there were 4 uniforms and 4 civilians (who could have been anyone I guess) wandering up and down the streets. A baby of about 18 months / 2 years said through the letterbox that no one was home, my police colleague would not leave until someone answered, so we stood there knocking. I wished I had a cloak of invisibility. Eventually the ?lady? of the house gave up and opened the door. She said she had only moved in 3 weeks ago, and that she was very satisfied with the police so far.
We legged it.
Tomorrow it was suggested that I attend the office at 07h00 to order stuff for a food co-op, before I attend a course, being held about 30 miles away, which starts at 09h00. I told them as politely as I could what to do with that suggestion.
So don?t start about shit weeks to me! noooo:
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When I joined the services my old Dad gave me some advice..... Amongst the words of wisdom were two which come to mind at this moment (i) Move your bowels every day AND (ii) Never volunteer.
Like you I am trapped in a menage of voluntary tasks from which there seems to be no escape and precious little income BUT I do manage a sh!te a day. One out of two can't be all bad methinks.
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Today is bad!!
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Today is bad!!
You mean you sat there and .............. Nothing????? whistle:
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He has been noticeable by his absence.
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My excuse is that I have been working against a deadline that I have already missed .............. ' spect his will be something similar. whacky068
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It was and is. Miss Whiplash in London went bonkers on the phone today, whilst I was in effing OLDHAM with the Boy (suspended from school) trying to work. Have just sent her the effing stuff, which is useless anyway.
GRRRRRR
And sorting out the car insurance and fending off claims lawyers (that's a weird one) and life! Oh, and now TWO yes TWO useless Psychotherapists! Banghead Banghead Banghead
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Sometimes I'm glad of my mundane office job...
...not really, I'm climbing the walls! Help!
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Sometimes I'm glad of my mundane office job...
...not really, I'm climbing the walls! Help!
Perhaps we should open up the old Public Bar as a virtual-employment agency then?
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I'm having quite a good week so far. redface: Mind you it is only Tuesday and I was off work yesterday. eeek:
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Following my car crash on Friday the guilty party's insurance company has called me to offer compensation for my "injuries". I am very very suspicious. Why would an insurance company willingly offer cash without being asked?
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I'm having quite a good week so far. redface: Mind you it is only Tuesday and I was off work yesterday. eeek:
But you haven't got to the 'facial' thread yet... scared2:
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Following my car crash on Friday the guilty party's insurance company has called me to offer compensation for my "injuries". I am very very suspicious. Why would an insurance company willingly offer cash without being asked?
I would be suspicious as well.
We received a cheque yesterday from a third party insurers covering car hire costs while a company car was in for repair. Although the third party was at fault thay disputed the amount.
The accident happened three years ago.