The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Tinkerbell on December 24, 2007, 01:27:30 PM
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Just popped in for a swift 'arf and to say Merry Crimble to everyone..... yes, you were right...I have been stuck on top of a tree. Wish to G** they would tie me in front of that top branch and not shove it up!!!!!! scared2:
Anyway...have a good time....... eat, drink and be merry and I'll get back in the pub after THE BIG DAY!!! lol:
Off to look after baby grandson now..... all in a days work!!!
Love to all! cloud9:
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Eat? Yes
Drink? Definitely.
Be merry? Questionable evil:
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Eat? Yes
Drink? Definitely.
Be merry? Questionable evil:
Go on...I bet you can be merry if you try!!! Just stay in the pub a bit longer. whistle:
X
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Fat chance. There are onerous domestic duties to be performed noooo:
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They don't get more cryptic than that!
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Blimey, it's gone again!
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Removed it ~ having problems loading the picture.
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Oooh, what was it? eyes:
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I'm working on it ~ and no it wasn't eyes: More point:
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WHatever angry041:
Right, I am off to inspect my mate's new puppy..................
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This one amused me and has a certain eyes: value.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaV3kGALr.jpg&hash=f8a8f7bc00ee9de11785a46f212095f59e471d60) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aV3kGALr)
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So we are off topic now then?
http://www.northpole.com/Clubhouse/DancingSanta/ (http://www.northpole.com/Clubhouse/DancingSanta/)
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OK Back on topic
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ftlfe.org.uk%2Fstjoseph%2Fimages%2Fsanta_sleigh_waving_christmas_md_wht.gif&hash=84c19dbfca67a82fae26928e56afe88301f26fce)
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Santa Tracker is now engaged!
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Santa Tracker is now engaged!
Jolly Good
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.christmas.free4-all.co.uk%2Fassets%2Fimages%2FSanta_Ho_Ho_Ho.gif&hash=0e4d6c0e4b04cf81f4d5942a13691f7f849368d3)
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http://www.stupid.com/stat/NCHK.html (http://www.stupid.com/stat/NCHK.html)
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I'm beginning to think that you may have been one of those boys my mother told me not to play with. lol:
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http://www.stupid.com/stat/FBAC.html (http://www.stupid.com/stat/FBAC.html)
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That probably confirms it whistle:
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(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fgreet005.gif&hash=02883f3df8ad82322d1a3943a4f19206126c87dc) (http://www.freesmileys.org)
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We are due for lunch at 12.30. We should leave now. Mrs Nick has gone off to have a shower. We are going to be late. Again evil:
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Christmas Time
Faffing and whine
Poor Nick's waiting
He wants to dine
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The Faffometer here is off the scale. The Boy's walkie talkies are now charge d up. Evidently someone else in the village has had the same present. We can hear everything they say! confused: Hell of a row going on somewhere!! lol:
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I am in dog house.
Mrs DS(#3) best friend was round last night with her obnoxious property-developer husband. My malt stocks were depleted.
It seems I may have made an 'inappropriate' comment about chubby, balding middle-aged men with new Porsches. whistle:
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I am in dog house.
Mrs DS(#3) best friend was round last night with her obnoxious property-developer husband. My malt stocks were depleted.
It seems I may have made an 'inappropriate' comment about chubby, balding middle-aged men with new Porsches. whistle:
Good for you. I'm beginning to think the doghouse may be the best place to be at Xmas. surrender:
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I wouldn't be anywhere else. cloud9:
Not that I get the chance of course. whistle:
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I am in dog house.
Mrs DS(#3) best friend was round last night with her obnoxious property-developer husband. My malt stocks were depleted.
It seems I may have made an 'inappropriate' comment about chubby, balding middle-aged men with new Porsches. whistle:
Excellent!
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Time to go for the Official Village Boxing Day Walk. Ending up in the pub. And then back at someone's house for vino collapso and games spider:
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I used to go pike fishing on the Hampshire Avon on Boxing Day morning. sad24: Happy Days
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I used to go bike fishing on the Hampshire Avon
I know some ponds lke that ;)
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::)
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I was talking to some woman at this party last night and she was having problems with her boyfriend. We went outside for a fag and I was offering advice on male psychology. We ended up role playing an argument (it seemed like a good idea at the time), during which she grabbed me by the lapels. Some passers by tried to break up the "fight" redface:
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I was talking to some woman at this party last night and she was having problems with her boyfriend. We went outside for a fag and I was offering advice on male psychology. We ended up role playing an argument (it seemed like a good idea at the time), during which she grabbed me by the lapels. Some passers by tried to break up the "fight" redface:
eeek:
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shrugs:
I should add that I have only just remembered this redface:
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Let's hope Mrs Nick does not get to hear of it ~ she'll never believe that story. angry041:
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She was also at the party. We told her about it!
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You simply inhabit a different world to the rest of us is all… noooo:
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She was also at the party. We told her about it!
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fcustom%2Fcreate.php%3Fid%3Dlaugh%255E_%255Earial%255E_%255E0%255E_%255E0%255E_%255ENick%2Bis%2Bmy%2Bhero%255E_%255E.gif&hash=526c8ad486edd1a228aeac29e6a85101c79cd7ca)
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Well fortunately the woman is a friend of Mrs Nick, and she sang my praises about training her to deal with said boyfriend
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eeek: Nick ~ you can't sort out your own life but you are still:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fcustom%2Fcreate.php%3Fid%3Dlaugh%255E_%255Earial%255E_%255E0%255E_%255E0%255E_%255ENick%2Bis%2Bmy%2Bhero%255E_%255E.gif&hash=526c8ad486edd1a228aeac29e6a85101c79cd7ca)
But be sure it will come back to haunt you when at some future date Mrs Nick feels the need to score a low blow.
DS and BM ~ restrain your baser instincts on that one.
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eeek: Nick ~ you can't sort out your own life but you are still:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fcustom%2Fcreate.php%3Fid%3Dlaugh%255E_%255Earial%255E_%255E0%255E_%255E0%255E_%255EDick%2Bin%2Bmy%2Bhero%255E_%255E.gif&hash=de39d27129c3ab35dc1f03d46204091e9506b3db)
But be sure it will come back to haunt you when at some future date Mrs Nick feels the need to score a low blow.
DS and BM ~ restrain your baser instincts on that one.
As if . . . . noooo:
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Banghead Banghead Banghead
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Well, this "clearing up the house now the builder has gone" episode has afforded me the chance to get rid of Mrs Nick's tat. I just have to get it into the car now without being caught and it's off to the dump with it. lol:
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worthy: worthy: worthy:
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scared2:
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Her radar is very good at this kind of thing, so I am working on a distraction. A long phone call would be a good idea. Those three B&W TV sets haven't even been turned on in 9 years confused:
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Her radar is very good at this kind of thing, so I am working on a distraction. A long phone call would be a good idea. Those three B&W TV sets haven't even been turned on in 9 years confused:
If caught you can tell her that since they are not digital they won't work after April anyway.
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How does she do that? cussing: I have just caught her rummaging through the bin liners and extracting tat! Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead
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Wait until she goes back to work. She was only signed off for a month. Only two and a half weeks to go surely. whistle:
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Yeah, but she's suspicious now scared2:
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Tell her a big boy made you do it, rush to the filling station and buy her flowers, tell her you thought her things would be safer from accidental loss if they were locked in your car whilst the house cleaning was going on ~ in other words lie man lie! It's your only hope.
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She has consented to the disposal of the useless TVs on condition that she is allowed to photograph them first as a "keepsake" rubschin:
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(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fnews.bbc.co.uk%2Folmedia%2F565000%2Fimages%2F_566045_good_grief.gif&hash=8df0e49d9a06db9ce5dcddbf2bf59baead0f9269)
She'll have you tieing a fvcking teddy bear to the lampost outside the house next.
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Good idea. I found her rummaging in another rubbish bag. She keeps used Christmas wrapping paper. We have tons of it. noooo:
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Good idea. I found her rummaging in another rubbish bag. She keeps used Christmas wrapping paper. We have tons of it. noooo:
I keep (mostly) the bows of pressies received and if the giver is artistic other frippery - it's part of my recycling bent plus I'm a great present buyer but a crap present wrapper so it saves me time too................
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She has got the hoover out scared2:
She uses it like a weapon scared2:
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Good idea. I found her rummaging in another rubbish bag. She keeps used Christmas wrapping paper. We have tons of it. noooo:
I keep (mostly) the bows of pressies received and if the giver is artistic other frippery - it's part of my recycling bent plus I'm a great present buyer but a crap present wrapper so it saves me time too................
Well done!!! MILFH just ripped everything off and stuck it in the bin! It was PROPER RIBBON!!!! I nearly killed her. I tried to resuce it but BIL had tipped the left over bread sauce into the bin on top of it. sad24:
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Good idea. I found her rummaging in another rubbish bag. She keeps used Christmas wrapping paper. We have tons of it. noooo:
I keep (mostly) the bows of pressies received and if the giver is artistic other frippery - it's part of my recycling bent plus I'm a great present buyer but a crap present wrapper so it saves me time too................
Well done!!! MILFH just ripped everything off and stuck it in the bin! It was PROPER RIBBON!!!! I nearly killed her. I tried to resuce it but BIL had tipped the left over bread sauce into the bin on top of it. sad24:
Don't start her on bread sauce... noooo:
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The stuff is sick2:
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The Boy has just run past yelling "MUmmy has flooded my room." eeek:
I am staying put or going out. evil:
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Good idea. I found her rummaging in another rubbish bag. She keeps used Christmas wrapping paper. We have tons of it. noooo:
I keep (mostly) the bows of pressies received and if the giver is artistic other frippery - it's part of my recycling bent plus I'm a great present buyer but a crap present wrapper so it saves me time too................
Well done!!! MILFH just ripped everything off and stuck it in the bin! It was PROPER RIBBON!!!! I nearly killed her. I tried to resuce it but BIL had tipped the left over bread sauce into the bin on top of it. sad24:
SWMBO has bags full of real ribbon ~ she gets it wholesale from a manufacturer in Stoke on Trent. Just let us know what you want and on her next trip eyes:
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Mr Wench just called to ask what I want to do with my box of ribbon. I think he may be watching. scared2:
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Nah, he just wants you to tie him up again
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I don't use my precious ribbon for that!!!!
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What do you use then?
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That would be telling.
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Prolly the hideous ties his mother gives him for Christmas
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Nope, the kids at school do plenty of purchasing of those. sick2:
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[Don't start her on bread sauce... noooo:
Where is the bread sauce - I don't have any broccoli and everyone else has broccoli - this shrimp cocktail is very bland - who are these people, I wouldn't have come along if I'd known it wasn't panico's - where is the bread sauce, isn't there any bread sauce??
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[Don't start her on bread sauce... noooo:
Where is the bread sauce - I don't have any broccoli and everyone else has broccoli - this shrimp cocktail is very bland - who are these people, I wouldn't have come along if I'd known it wasn't panico's - where is the bread sauce, isn't there any bread sauce??
doh:
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Who on earth was that?!?!?!
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Who on earth was that?!?!?!
Pam
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Who on earth was that?!?!?!
Pam
The very snotty woman from hell BM had to sit next too during Christmas lunch happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001
AND he groped Carolines bum (many times) when he was dancing with her shocked003 shocked003 shocked003 shocked003 shocked003
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Who on earth was that?!?!?!
Pam
The very snotty woman from hell BM had to sit next too during Christmas lunch happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001
AND he groped Carolines bum (many times) when he was dancing with her shocked003 shocked003 shocked003 shocked003 shocked003
redface:
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Dad? eeek:
My Dad memorably one New Years Eve "fell over" on top of a friend whilst dancing. She had no pants on. eeek:
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eeek:
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Dad? eeek:
My Dad memorably one New Years Eve "fell over" on top of a friend whilst dancing. She had no pants on. eeek:
Before or after? eeek:
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eeek:
Indeed. My precious twelve year old retinas were scorched!
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Dad? eeek:
My Dad memorably one New Years Eve "fell over" on top of a friend whilst dancing. She had no pants on. eeek:
Before or after? eeek:
Before, during and after.
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Dad? eeek:
My Dad memorably one New Years Eve "fell over" on top of a friend whilst dancing. She had no pants on. eeek:
Before or after? eeek:
Before, during and after.
eeek: eeek:
I'll bet your retinas were scorched!
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sad24:
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Dad? eeek:
My Dad memorably one New Years Eve "fell over" on top of a friend whilst dancing. She had no pants on. eeek:
Before or after? eeek:
Before, during and after.
eeek: eeek: eeek: eeek:
Sometimes Wenchy reminds me how sheltered my life has been. cry:
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Born in an open field then rubschin:
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Born in an open field then rubschin:
My late Mother used to say that if anyone left a door open. "Were you born in an open field?"
I'd quite forgotten that one until now.