The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Nick on December 18, 2007, 12:17:42 PM

Title: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Nick on December 18, 2007, 12:17:42 PM
Look innocent.
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: TG on December 18, 2007, 12:18:32 PM
I am.
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Nick on December 18, 2007, 12:19:05 PM
Good man.
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Snoopy on December 18, 2007, 12:19:25 PM
 whistle:
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Nick on December 18, 2007, 12:20:03 PM
I don't think he's noticed, so just act normal and we should be OK.
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Snoopy on December 18, 2007, 12:20:56 PM
 tunble:
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: TG on December 18, 2007, 12:21:11 PM
I am normal. No need to act. What are you implying?
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Nick on December 18, 2007, 12:21:44 PM
Being normal is nothing to boast about, and in any case I doubt you are
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: TG on December 18, 2007, 12:22:08 PM
Being normal is nothing to boast about, and in any case I doubt you are

 eeek:
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Darwins Selection on December 18, 2007, 12:23:31 PM
Shhhhhh!

He's looking this way.  whistle:
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Snoopy on December 18, 2007, 12:23:40 PM
Have you noticed that Wenchy was here, said nowt and then buggered off just before Barman appeared?


 rubschin: You don't suppose???????????????????




You never see them in the same room do you.
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: TG on December 18, 2007, 12:24:12 PM
He hasn't noticed us yet. prolly pissed again.  noooo:
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Snoopy on December 18, 2007, 12:31:23 PM
He is also being very quiet. Do you think they/he/she has laryngitis? 
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Barman on December 18, 2007, 12:45:51 PM
 rubschin:
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Bar Wench on December 18, 2007, 12:46:43 PM
 eeek:
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Nick on December 18, 2007, 12:46:50 PM
Hello Barman. All well?
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Barman on December 18, 2007, 12:47:59 PM
Hello Barman. All well?
Um... I think so...  rubschin:
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Nick on December 18, 2007, 12:48:25 PM
Jolly good.
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Barman on December 18, 2007, 12:49:15 PM
I've been out buying Xmas pressies for Mrs. Barman...  whistle:
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Bar Wench on December 18, 2007, 12:49:57 PM
How are you going to top last years?  lol:
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Barman on December 18, 2007, 12:50:45 PM
How are you going to top last years?  lol:
I can't...  noooo:
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Bar Wench on December 18, 2007, 12:51:11 PM
Oh dear.  noooo: So go on. PM me what you got her!
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Nick on December 18, 2007, 12:51:48 PM
How are you going to top last years?  lol:

What did he get her last year?
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Snoopy on December 18, 2007, 12:52:28 PM
Nosey! Both of you.
















Well ~~ what did she get last year?
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Barman on December 18, 2007, 12:52:46 PM
Oh dear.  noooo: So go on. PM me what you got her!
I can't...  noooo:
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Grumpmeister on December 18, 2007, 12:58:42 PM
I don't think he's noticed, so just act normal and we should be OK.

Ok quick someone hand Nick some teatowels and a microwave and the rest of you run around screaming waving your arms in panic.  whistle:
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Bar Wench on December 18, 2007, 01:00:13 PM
Oh dear.  noooo: So go on. PM me what you got her!
I can't...  noooo:

You haven't actually bought anything yet have you?  point:
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Barman on December 18, 2007, 01:01:10 PM
Oh dear.  noooo: So go on. PM me what you got her!
I can't...  noooo:

You haven't actually bought anything yet have you?  point:
Ye-es...  whistle:
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Bar Wench on December 18, 2007, 01:02:01 PM
TELL ME THEN!!!!!


Or is it rude?  redface:
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Barman on December 18, 2007, 01:02:54 PM
TELL ME THEN!!!!!


Or is it rude?  redface:
Noooo... nothing like that...  noooo:
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Grumpmeister on December 18, 2007, 01:03:35 PM
You realise BM will just say its rude now to throw you off the scent and hide the fact he hasnt got her anything yet  point:
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Snoopy on December 18, 2007, 01:05:19 PM
'prolly a Home Brew kit.
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Bar Wench on December 18, 2007, 01:05:32 PM
WELL WHAT IS IT THEN MAN!!!!


You'd think so wouldn't you GM, but  noooo:  point:
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Barman on December 18, 2007, 01:06:15 PM
WELL WHAT IS IT THEN MAN!!!!


You'd think so wouldn't you GM, but  noooo:  point:
They are not rude...

OK?
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Snoopy on December 18, 2007, 01:07:24 PM
They!!!!!!

We are getting somewhere. Keep it up Inspector Wench ~ he'll confess soon.
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Bar Wench on December 18, 2007, 01:07:29 PM
So what are THEY then?
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Nick on December 18, 2007, 01:08:14 PM
Bloomers?
Gloves?
Socks?
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Barman on December 18, 2007, 01:09:20 PM
Bloomers?
Gloves?
Socks?
No, no, no...

There are two, yes two pressies...  whistle:
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Bar Wench on December 18, 2007, 01:09:46 PM
Shoes. One for each foot?
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Barman on December 18, 2007, 01:10:25 PM
Shoes. One for each foot?
no  ::)
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Bar Wench on December 18, 2007, 01:10:45 PM
Shoes. One for each foot?
no  ::)

 rubschin:

Underwear set.
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Nick on December 18, 2007, 01:17:24 PM
Check.

My underwear is ready.

Now what?
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Bar Wench on December 18, 2007, 01:18:11 PM
It needs to be on the outside of your trousers to work properly!  ::)
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Grumpmeister on December 18, 2007, 01:26:50 PM
It needs to be on the outside of your trousers to work properly!  ::)

No Wenchy, run for it!!! Nick has just donned his Captain Calamity costume  scared2:
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Bar Wench on December 18, 2007, 01:28:07 PM
It needs to be on the outside of your trousers to work properly!  ::)

No Wenchy, run for it!!! Nick has just donned his Captain Calamity costume  scared2:

I'm sending him somewhere in particular.  eveilgrin:




I don't think BM has bought anything!
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Nick on December 18, 2007, 01:29:13 PM
No he has bought two of something.
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Bar Wench on December 18, 2007, 01:31:06 PM
Or two of nothing!  rubschin:
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Snoopy on December 18, 2007, 01:33:34 PM
Or two somethings (As in one each of two different somethings)
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Bar Wench on December 18, 2007, 01:38:32 PM
Love eggs and chocolate body paint?
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Nick on December 18, 2007, 01:39:08 PM
Too fattening.
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Bar Wench on December 18, 2007, 01:39:59 PM
Maybe she won't be consuming it.  redface:

I have nasty mental image now. noooo:
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Grumpmeister on December 18, 2007, 02:00:52 PM
Maybe she won't be consuming it.  redface:

I have nasty mental image now. noooo:

Its the fact that you are thinking of BM in that manner that we are finding extremely disturbing  scared2:
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Nick on December 18, 2007, 02:01:36 PM
Just imagine a ginger baldy covered in chocolate noooo: sick2:
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Bar Wench on December 18, 2007, 02:07:16 PM
 scared2: sick2: scared2:
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Barman on December 18, 2007, 02:10:27 PM
Shoes. One for each foot?
no  ::)

 rubschin:

Underwear set.
Nope...  ::)
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Nick on December 18, 2007, 02:11:06 PM
What did you get her last year?
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Barman on December 18, 2007, 02:16:07 PM
What did you get her last year?
Effectively nothing… but she thinks it is the best present ever…  whistle:


Wenchy knows…
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Nick on December 18, 2007, 02:17:35 PM
 rubschin:
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Darwins Selection on December 18, 2007, 02:18:39 PM
Shoes. One for each foot?
no  ::)
Hats, one for each head?
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Darwins Selection on December 18, 2007, 02:20:57 PM
What did you get her last year?
Effectively nothing… but she thinks it is the best present ever…  whistle:


Lobotomy, Vasectomy?
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Barman on December 18, 2007, 02:22:06 PM
Shoes. One for each foot?
no  ::)
Hats, one for each head?
No...  ::)
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Barman on December 18, 2007, 02:22:45 PM
What did you get her last year?
Effectively nothing… but she thinks it is the best present ever…  whistle:


Lobotomy, Vasectomy?
Labotomy... no... vasectomy... had one already...  ::)
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: ice and a slice on December 18, 2007, 03:10:51 PM
What did you get her last year?
Effectively nothing… but she thinks it is the best present ever…  whistle:


Lobotomy, Vasectomy?
Labotomy... no... vasectomy... had one already...  ::)

Quite right too!  point:
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Barman on December 18, 2007, 03:12:41 PM
What did you get her last year?
Effectively nothing… but she thinks it is the best present ever…  whistle:


Lobotomy, Vasectomy?
Labotomy... no... vasectomy... had one already...  ::)

Quite right too!  point:
eeek:
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: ice and a slice on December 18, 2007, 03:18:18 PM
What did you get her last year?
Effectively nothing… but she thinks it is the best present ever…  whistle:


Lobotomy, Vasectomy?
Labotomy... no... vasectomy... had one already...  ::)

Quite right too!  point:
eeek:

 eeek:I thought you were on the 'other' place so I sneaked in a quick remark, but you saw it!!  Eyes everywhere you!

Has Landlady been around?
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Bar Wench on December 18, 2007, 03:19:06 PM
other place?
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Barman on December 18, 2007, 03:19:56 PM
What did you get her last year?
Effectively nothing… but she thinks it is the best present ever…  whistle:


Lobotomy, Vasectomy?
Labotomy... no... vasectomy... had one already...  ::)

Quite right too!  point:
eeek:

 eeek:I thought you were on the 'other' place so I sneaked in a quick remark, but you saw it!!  Eyes everywhere you!

Has Landlady been around?
I am all-seeing and all knowing...  whistle:

Landlady is working... we were talking about you the other day tho...
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: ice and a slice on December 18, 2007, 03:26:16 PM
What did you get her last year?
Effectively nothing… but she thinks it is the best present ever…  whistle:


Lobotomy, Vasectomy?
Labotomy... no... vasectomy... had one already...  ::)

Quite right too!  point:
eeek:

 eeek:I thought you were on the 'other' place so I sneaked in a quick remark, but you saw it!!  Eyes everywhere you!

Has Landlady been around?
I am all-seeing and all knowing...  whistle:

Landlady is working... we were talking about you the other day tho...

I hope you said something nice!!!

I couldn't get on to the pub for ages!!  CYTA being c**p as usual.   noooo:
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Barman on December 18, 2007, 03:27:30 PM
What did you get her last year?
Effectively nothing… but she thinks it is the best present ever…  whistle:


Lobotomy, Vasectomy?
Labotomy... no... vasectomy... had one already...  ::)

Quite right too!  point:
eeek:

 eeek:I thought you were on the 'other' place so I sneaked in a quick remark, but you saw it!!  Eyes everywhere you!

Has Landlady been around?
I am all-seeing and all knowing...  whistle:

Landlady is working... we were talking about you the other day tho...

I hope you said something nice!!!

I couldn't get on to the pub for ages!!  CYTA being c**p as usual.   noooo:
I had the same problem on Cyprus forum but it is (obviously) fixed now... some other sites I can't get to tho...
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: ice and a slice on December 18, 2007, 03:29:13 PM
other place?

You know Wenchy, where it's very hot and there's a guy with a pitchfork and horns?
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Darwins Selection on December 18, 2007, 03:50:48 PM
other place?

You know Wenchy, where it's very hot and there's a guy with a pitchfork and horns?

Waitrose?
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: ice and a slice on December 18, 2007, 04:30:28 PM
other place?

You know Wenchy, where it's very hot and there's a guy with a pitchfork and horns?

Waitrose?

No don't joke, I miss Waitrose soooo much.  Specially those meals you just shove in the oven sad32:  Still, we have sunshine! 8)
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Bar Wench on December 18, 2007, 04:38:39 PM
I'm going to Waitrose this evening!
And then to Starbucks for overpriced eggnog flavoured coffee!
And then home to cuddle under Blanket with the fire on.

 cloud9:
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Snoopy on December 18, 2007, 04:55:53 PM
I'm going to Waitrose this evening!
And then to Starbucks for overpriced eggnog flavoured coffee!
And then home to cuddle under Blanket with the fire on.

 cloud9:


That last line reads like something you find in a German Phrase Book.

Vy iz der fire on der blanket?
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Grumpmeister on December 18, 2007, 05:46:05 PM
What did you get her last year?
Effectively nothing… but she thinks it is the best present ever…  whistle:


Lobotomy, Vasectomy?
Labotomy... no... vasectomy... had one already...  ::)

Quite right too!  point:
eeek:

 eeek:I thought you were on the 'other' place so I sneaked in a quick remark, but you saw it!!  Eyes everywhere you!

Has Landlady been around?
I am all-seeing and all knowing...  whistle:

Landlady is working... we were talking about you the other day tho...

I thought you were on medication to deal with your delusions  point:
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Darwins Selection on December 18, 2007, 07:28:48 PM
And then home to cuddle under Blanket with the fire on.

Do you have a fresh battery in the smoke alarm?
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Barman on December 18, 2007, 08:14:41 PM
I'm going to Waitrose this evening!
And then to Starbucks for overpriced eggnog flavoured coffee!
And then home to cuddle under Blanket with the fire on.

 cloud9:
sick2:
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Nick on December 18, 2007, 08:52:54 PM
It does sound disgusting, doesn't it? Why would anyone even consider making it, let alone buying it?
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Darwins Selection on December 18, 2007, 11:47:14 PM
It does sound disgusting, doesn't it? Why would anyone even consider making it, let alone buying it?

John Lewis is a funny company.
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: ice and a slice on December 19, 2007, 05:47:34 AM
It does sound disgusting, doesn't it? Why would anyone even consider making it, let alone buying it?

John Lewis is a funny company.

Seems quite serious to me!!!  Seriously overpriced!
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on December 19, 2007, 10:41:20 AM
It does sound disgusting, doesn't it? Why would anyone even consider making it, let alone buying it?

John Lewis is a funny company.

When did they buy up Starbucks then??  (and, strictly in the interests of accuracy you understand, it's the John Lewis Partnership)
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Snoopy on December 19, 2007, 10:45:54 AM
It does sound disgusting, doesn't it? Why would anyone even consider making it, let alone buying it?

John Lewis is a funny company.

When did they buy up Starbucks then??  (and, strictly in the interests of accuracy you understand, it's the John Lewis Partnership)

A very funny partnership though.
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Uncle Mort on December 19, 2007, 10:47:30 AM
It does sound disgusting, doesn't it? Why would anyone even consider making it, let alone buying it?

John Lewis is a funny company.

When did they buy up Starbucks then??  (and, strictly in the interests of accuracy you understand, it's the John Lewis Partnership)

Like Morecambe & Wise?

A very funny partnership though.
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on December 19, 2007, 10:48:54 AM
It does sound disgusting, doesn't it? Why would anyone even consider making it, let alone buying it?

John Lewis is a funny company.

When did they buy up Starbucks then??  (and, strictly in the interests of accuracy you understand, it's the John Lewis Partnership)


A very funny partnership though.


Like Morecambe & Wise?

Fixed it for you Unc!
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Snoopy on December 19, 2007, 10:54:38 AM
It does sound disgusting, doesn't it? Why would anyone even consider making it, let alone buying it?

John Lewis is a funny company.

When did they buy up Starbucks then??  (and, strictly in the interests of accuracy you understand, it's the John Lewis Partnership)


A very funny partnership though.


Like Morecambe & Wise?

Fixed it for you Unc!

No! Funny - Peculiar NOT Funny - Ha Ha
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Uncle Mort on December 19, 2007, 11:10:53 AM
No! Funny - Peculiar NOT Funny - Ha Ha

Ah, that would explain why I've never seen The John Lewis Partnership on stage.


p.s. thanks for the fix.
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on December 19, 2007, 11:11:37 AM
It does sound disgusting, doesn't it? Why would anyone even consider making it, let alone buying it?

John Lewis is a funny company.

When did they buy up Starbucks then??  (and, strictly in the interests of accuracy you understand, it's the John Lewis Partnership)


A very funny partnership though.


Like Morecambe & Wise?

Fixed it for you Unc!

No! Funny - Peculiar NOT Funny - Ha Ha

. . . and what brings you to say that Snoops?


My lad used to work for them in Waitrose some years ago, and he found them to be OK.
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Snoopy on December 19, 2007, 11:16:11 AM
It does sound disgusting, doesn't it? Why would anyone even consider making it, let alone buying it?

John Lewis is a funny company.

When did they buy up Starbucks then??  (and, strictly in the interests of accuracy you understand, it's the John Lewis Partnership)


A very funny partnership though.


Like Morecambe & Wise?

Fixed it for you Unc!

No! Funny - Peculiar NOT Funny - Ha Ha

. . . and what brings you to say that Snoops?


My lad used to work for them in Waitrose some years ago, and he found them to be OK.

My late parents both worked for them for years (Southampton Branch AKA Tyrell & Green). My brother also worked for Waitrose (Canford Heath) as a butcher. All reckoned that they were good employers but "Funny" (Strange).
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Bar Wench on December 19, 2007, 12:25:00 PM
Odd, peculiar all work better than funny.  ::)
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Uncle Mort on December 19, 2007, 12:32:47 PM
Guide to Grammar and Writing  (http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/)
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Bar Wench on December 19, 2007, 12:33:44 PM
 angry041:
Title: Re: Quick Barman is here
Post by: Snoopy on December 19, 2007, 12:34:00 PM
Fowler's works for me.