The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Nick on December 16, 2007, 02:49:29 PM

Title: My Santa letter
Post by: Nick on December 16, 2007, 02:49:29 PM
Rummaging around on the Hard Drive to find The Boy's Santa letter I found, instead this, which I must have written some years ago to Mrs Nick and quite forgotten about. Now let's be seeing yours!!

Quote
Dear Santa,

It would be nice to get some proper presents this year. That means NONE of the following:

After shave (beard)
Crocheted bread roll holder (unnecessarily luxurious)
Pre-viewed video (too mean)
Pyjamas
Anything made of nylon

Acceptable alternatives would include some decent CDs (i.e. no wailing Latins or tambourines), but REM’s Automatic for the People is now a classic and the best Frank album is Songs for Swinging Lovers (from about 1956). Perhaps there is even a best of the B52s.

Tom Wolfe’s new novel A Man in Full is supposed to be excellent.

Gadgets are always popular with boys.

For anyone thinking of really pushing the boat out a really good leather jacket would be good (especially with my birthday coming up) but I suppose I would have to help you choose one.

Love Nick

P.S. I have been a good boy almost all year
Title: Re: My Santa letter
Post by: Barman on December 16, 2007, 02:51:35 PM
Quote
Dear Santa,

Do not under any circumstances bring me anything that can be worn.

Yours truly,

Barman.
Title: Re: My Santa letter
Post by: Nick on December 16, 2007, 02:51:52 PM
Including a rug?
Title: Re: My Santa letter
Post by: Barman on December 16, 2007, 02:54:21 PM
Especially a rug…  Banghead
Title: Re: My Santa letter
Post by: Nick on December 16, 2007, 02:58:42 PM
I hope Berek comes back soon. I bet his list is an eye opener eeek:

And I have just unearthed The Boy's, which shows admirable candour!!

Quote
To Santa I have really tried to be good all year and I know that there were quite a few bad bits and very bad bits so please can you get me some, or maybe all, of the things on my list.
How many elves do you have?
Which is your favourite elf?

Please could I have a scalextrix racing track because I really want to get one?
Please could I have a Nintendo wee or a Nintendo DS?
Please could I have a remote control helicopter?
Please could I have a set of walkie-talkies?
Please could I have a watch?
Please could I have a hot wheels track?
Please could I have a picture of you?
Please could I have a kinetics set?
Please could I have some more presents? 
   
Title: Re: My Santa letter
Post by: Barman on December 16, 2007, 03:17:30 PM
Quote from: Nick on December 16, 2007, 02:58:42 PM
I hope Berek comes back soon. I bet his list is an eye opener eeek:

And I have just unearthed The Boy's, which shows admirable candour!!

Quote
To Santa I have really tried to be good all year and I know that there were quite a few bad bits and very bad bits so please can you get me some, or maybe all, of the things on my list.
How many elves do you have?
Which is your favourite elf?

Please could I have a scalextrix racing track because I really want to get one?
Please could I have a Nintendo wee or a Nintendo DS?
Please could I have a remote control helicopter?
Please could I have a set of walkie-talkies?
Please could I have a watch?
Please could I have a hot wheels track?
Please could I have a picture of you?
Please could I have a kinetics set?
Please could I have some more presents? 
   

And what is he getting?
Title: Re: My Santa letter
Post by: Nick on December 16, 2007, 03:26:29 PM
Mrs Nick and I are discussing that!! But not the Scalextric. Nor, for obvious reasons, "a remote control helicopter" eeek:
Title: Re: My Santa letter
Post by: Barman on December 16, 2007, 03:39:02 PM
Quote from: Nick on December 16, 2007, 03:26:29 PM
Mrs Nick and I are discussing that!! But not the Scalextric. Nor, for obvious reasons, "a remote control helicopter" eeek:
Deadly - I had one...  whistle:
Title: Re: My Santa letter
Post by: grumpyoldsoldier on December 16, 2007, 03:41:09 PM
It is so good to see you guys getting into the spirit of Christmas at last.. so join me now in a resounding rendition of Jingle Bells


All together now.. a one.. a two.. a three

Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a one horse open sleigh
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a one horse open sleigh

Title: Re: My Santa letter
Post by: Nick on December 16, 2007, 03:42:10 PM
And you can f*ck off too evil:
Title: Re: My Santa letter
Post by: Nick on December 16, 2007, 03:43:23 PM
Quote from: Barman on December 16, 2007, 03:39:02 PM
Quote from: Nick on December 16, 2007, 03:26:29 PM
Mrs Nick and I are discussing that!! But not the Scalextric. Nor, for obvious reasons, "a remote control helicopter" eeek:
Deadly - I had one...  whistle:

A helicopter? He has had several remote controlled cars. They don't last long. Indeed the first onel only ever made one journey - from his bedroom to the kitchen. It was the 45 steps that did for it!

Title: Re: My Santa letter
Post by: Barman on December 16, 2007, 03:44:38 PM
Quote from: Nick on December 16, 2007, 03:43:23 PM
Quote from: Barman on December 16, 2007, 03:39:02 PM
Quote from: Nick on December 16, 2007, 03:26:29 PM
Mrs Nick and I are discussing that!! But not the Scalextric. Nor, for obvious reasons, "a remote control helicopter" eeek:
Deadly - I had one...  whistle:

A helicopter? He has had several remote controlled cars. They don't last long. Indeed the first onel only ever made one journey - from his bedroom to the kitchen. It was the 45 steps that did for it!


The helicopter could be fatal then...  rubschin:
Title: Re: My Santa letter
Post by: Nick on December 16, 2007, 03:45:19 PM
It could take your head off!

And WTF is a "kinetic set"? Anyone?
Title: Re: My Santa letter
Post by: grumpyoldsoldier on December 16, 2007, 04:03:09 PM
Quote from: Nick on December 16, 2007, 03:43:23 PM
Quote from: Barman on December 16, 2007, 03:39:02 PM
Quote from: Nick on December 16, 2007, 03:26:29 PM
Mrs Nick and I are discussing that!! But not the Scalextric. Nor, for obvious reasons, "a remote control helicopter" eeek:
Deadly - I had one...  whistle:

A helicopter? He has had several remote controlled cars. They don't last long. Indeed the first onel only ever made one journey - from his bedroom to the kitchen. It was the 45 steps that did for it!



45? Bloody hell, live in a lighthouse Nick
Title: Re: My Santa letter
Post by: Snoopy on December 16, 2007, 04:13:46 PM
Quote from: Nick on December 16, 2007, 03:45:19 PM
It could take your head off!

And WTF is a "kinetic set"? Anyone?

I think his spelling is a bit off. This year's must have seems to be:
http://www.hasbro.co.uk/knex/
Title: Re: My Santa letter
Post by: Snoopy on December 16, 2007, 04:16:26 PM
Dear Santa
All I want for Christmas is:
  Peace for the world ~

Especially the bit immediately around me
  evil:
Title: Re: My Santa letter
Post by: Nick on December 16, 2007, 04:35:20 PM
Quote from: grumpyoldsoldier on December 16, 2007, 04:03:09 PM
Quote from: Nick on December 16, 2007, 03:43:23 PM
Quote from: Barman on December 16, 2007, 03:39:02 PM
Quote from: Nick on December 16, 2007, 03:26:29 PM
Mrs Nick and I are discussing that!! But not the Scalextric. Nor, for obvious reasons, "a remote control helicopter" eeek:
Deadly - I had one...  whistle:

A helicopter? He has had several remote controlled cars. They don't last long. Indeed the first onel only ever made one journey - from his bedroom to the kitchen. It was the 45 steps that did for it!



45? Bloody hell, live in a lighthouse Nick

It is a very tall house!
Title: Re: My Santa letter
Post by: Snoopy on December 16, 2007, 04:50:10 PM
Quote from: Nick on December 16, 2007, 04:35:20 PM
Quote from: grumpyoldsoldier on December 16, 2007, 04:03:09 PM
Quote from: Nick on December 16, 2007, 03:43:23 PM
Quote from: Barman on December 16, 2007, 03:39:02 PM
Quote from: Nick on December 16, 2007, 03:26:29 PM
Mrs Nick and I are discussing that!! But not the Scalextric. Nor, for obvious reasons, "a remote control helicopter" eeek:
Deadly - I had one...  whistle:

A helicopter? He has had several remote controlled cars. They don't last long. Indeed the first onel only ever made one journey - from his bedroom to the kitchen. It was the 45 steps that did for it!



45? Bloody hell, live in a lighthouse Nick

It is a very tall house!

He's not wrong ~ I've seen it. eeek:
Title: Re: My Santa letter
Post by: The Moan Ranger on December 16, 2007, 05:23:58 PM
Dear Santa

All I want for Christmas at the moment is for Chelsea to score, otherwise, when the final whistle blows, it is going to kick-off something terrible in this Young's house.
Title: Re: My Santa letter
Post by: Nick on December 16, 2007, 05:32:53 PM
The ex-President's daughter out onthe prowl. Whatever next!
Title: Re: My Santa letter
Post by: The Moan Ranger on December 16, 2007, 05:51:16 PM
We get all sorts in here. I blame Bertie Bassett.
Title: Re: My Santa letter
Post by: Nick on December 16, 2007, 05:52:56 PM
Well pull her then!



Lots of teeth though noooo:
Title: Re: My Santa letter
Post by: Darwins Selection on December 16, 2007, 07:24:18 PM
Quote from: Nick on December 16, 2007, 05:52:56 PM
Well pull her then!

Lots of teeth though noooo:
Indeed, a regular Jaws.

It would be probably be safer if she were to pull him.
Title: Re: My Santa letter
Post by: Nick on December 16, 2007, 07:42:09 PM
By hand? eeek:
Title: Re: My Santa letter
Post by: Snoopy on December 16, 2007, 07:52:55 PM
Feet might be nice  ;)
Title: Re: My Santa letter
Post by: Nick on December 16, 2007, 07:56:00 PM
 eeek:

Barman is a foot man!
Title: Re: My Santa letter
Post by: Darwins Selection on December 16, 2007, 07:56:47 PM
Quote from: Nick on December 16, 2007, 07:56:00 PM
eeek:

Barman is a foot man!

The webbed toes are a giveaway.
Title: Re: My Santa letter
Post by: Nick on December 16, 2007, 07:57:38 PM
Speak for yerself!
Title: Re: My Santa letter
Post by: Barman on December 16, 2007, 08:23:15 PM
Quote from: Nick on December 16, 2007, 07:56:00 PM
eeek:

Barman is a foot man!
redface:
Title: Re: My Santa letter
Post by: Nick on December 16, 2007, 08:53:21 PM
Thusly
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FPq2Ci84J.jpg&hash=2da0db3a7e8730cc3c27589a448a1ee2cf3df5ed) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=Pq2Ci84J)
Title: Re: My Santa letter
Post by: Snoopy on December 16, 2007, 09:31:24 PM
Errrr ~ I think I mentioned feet  redface:










Preferably with red painted toe nails
Title: Re: My Santa letter
Post by: grumpyoldsoldier on December 16, 2007, 09:41:30 PM
What was his name.. the guy that did Lolita's toenails?
Title: Re: My Santa letter
Post by: Snoopy on December 16, 2007, 10:10:55 PM
Humbert
Title: Re: My Santa letter
Post by: grumpyoldsoldier on December 17, 2007, 07:46:03 AM
Ah yes, was it Hubert Humbert?,  a name which always reminded me of a brand of Dutch cheese for some reasons, apt I suppose seeing that we are discussing feet.
Title: Re: My Santa letter
Post by: Nick on December 17, 2007, 08:20:44 AM
Quite so, quite so. Humbert Humbert.