The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Snoopy on December 12, 2007, 12:01:37 PM

Title: And what exactly
Post by: Snoopy on December 12, 2007, 12:01:37 PM
Makes this smack head a suitable judge of what is or is not good literature?

Lily Allen to judge Orange Broadband Prize for Fiction 2008 

http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/tol/arts_and_entertainment/books/article3036770.ece

OK it's their competition and they can choose who they like to be a judge but surely this will cast doubt over the merits of the winner. I know I will view it with a great deal of suspicion and will be unlikely to buy it because of this.
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Grumpmeister on December 12, 2007, 12:10:52 PM
Makes this smack head a suitable judge of what is or is not good literature?

Well she's managed to convince a load of people that she is talented and hasnt made it due to being Keith Allen's daughter. That on its own is a world class piece of fiction which proves she is qualified to judge.  whistle:
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Snoopy on December 12, 2007, 12:17:45 PM
Makes this smack head a suitable judge of what is or is not good literature?

Well she's managed to convince a load of people that she is talented and hasnt made it due to being Keith Allen's daughter. That on its own is a world class piece of fiction which proves she is qualified to judge.  whistle:

Who the f*ck is Keith Allen anyway? Some bit part actor from 'Enders? Well that's going to carry a lot of weight with the public then isn't it.  noooo:
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Darwins Selection on December 12, 2007, 12:18:20 PM
Makes this smack head a suitable judge of what is or is not good literature?

Well she's managed to convince a load of people that she is talented and hasnt made it due to being Keith Allen's daughter. That on its own is a world class piece of fiction which proves she is qualified to judge.  whistle:

He has a daughter!! 

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.keithharrisandorville.co.uk%2Fimages%2Fenter_main_photo.gif&hash=67d9665f60841ea9e1b396a0195daba57ca499b0)

Funny looking girl.
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Snoopy on December 12, 2007, 12:19:20 PM
That's Keith Harris you arse  ::)
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Darwins Selection on December 12, 2007, 12:19:59 PM
That's Keith Harris you arse  ::)

Oh!
 redface:
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Grumpmeister on December 12, 2007, 12:20:25 PM
Thats Keith Harris Darwin, mind you Orville's resemblance to Lily Allen is remarkable  eeek:
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Snoopy on December 12, 2007, 12:26:13 PM
Thats Keith Harris Darwin, mind you Orville's resemblance to Lily Allen is remarkable  eeek:

 rubschin: You may have a point there GM

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.inthenews.co.uk%2Fphoto%2Fphoto-x-%247005462%24180.jpg&hash=63070bd3b461e3d8275c2d16e3b02ac416b60435)

She has certainly lost several rounds with the ugly stick.
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Darwins Selection on December 12, 2007, 12:28:57 PM
Thats Keith Harris Darwin, mind you Orville's resemblance to Lily Allen is remarkable  eeek:

 rubschin: You may have a point there GM

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.inthenews.co.uk%2Fphoto%2Fphoto-x-%247005462%24180.jpg&hash=63070bd3b461e3d8275c2d16e3b02ac416b60435)

She has certainly lost several rounds with the ugly stick.
The eyes have it.
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Grumpmeister on December 12, 2007, 12:30:07 PM
Your beagle senses have failed you Snoops, thats Amy Wino  point:

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fnewsimg.bbc.co.uk%2Fmedia%2Fimages%2F44295000%2Fjpg%2F_44295510_allen_ap203b.jpg&hash=f7cb63fed7fb490df3c0170154cba8695ff8c968)

Thats Lilly Allen

Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Snoopy on December 12, 2007, 12:31:13 PM
Just following the lead set by Darwin is all.  whistle:





PS She's fallen from the ugly tree and hit a few branches on the way down too.




PPS And when did you become an expert on Pop Tarts anyway?
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Grumpmeister on December 12, 2007, 12:33:10 PM
I was thinking more along the lines of Gollum and Slotgob's love child  whistle:
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Miss Demeanour on December 12, 2007, 01:14:44 PM

Maybe they who want her to judge - know far more than us mere mortals about what is good literature.

For Snoopy that would obviously be the back of the Bonio box.
For Barman the til receipts.
For Grumpmeister - Bill Gates autobiography
For Nick - anything to do with anger management
For Wenchy - anything to do with tat management and crafts
For DS - the history of razor blades - they are the only thing sharper than him
For Tel - Careers and Opportunities magazine
For Grumpyoldsolider  - anything in big writing with lots of pictures
For Moan Ranger - anything greasy
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Nick on December 12, 2007, 01:15:50 PM
And for you anything on the Art of Revenge?
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Barman on December 12, 2007, 01:20:13 PM

Maybe they who want her to judge - know far more than us mere mortals about what is good literature.

For Snoopy that would obviously be the back of the Bonio box.
For Barman the til receipts.
For Grumpmeister - Bill Gates autobiography
For Nick - anything to do with anger management
For Wenchy - anything to do with tat management and crafts
For DS - the history of razor blades - they are the only thing sharper than him
For Tel - Careers and Opportunities magazine
For Grumpyoldsolider  - anything in big writing with lots of pictures
For Moan Ranger - anything greasy

And for you?  rubschin:
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Grumpmeister on December 12, 2007, 01:20:59 PM
For Grumpmeister - Bill Gates autobiography

Not quite my dear, for me try anything by John Douglas
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Miss Demeanour on December 12, 2007, 01:22:23 PM
And for you anything on the Art of Revenge?

 lol:
I am working on my next campaign as we speak.

Some thieving git keeps nicking my milk from the staff kitchen area.

So I have gone and purchased another pint. Opened it and used a smidgeon (they never go for the unopened pint ) and then I have poured loads of salt in it and shaken it in. As I sit not far fom the kitchen area I await the uncloaking of the offender this afternoon.

Bastard  censored:
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Nick on December 12, 2007, 01:23:02 PM
Excellent! drumroll:
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Miss Demeanour on December 12, 2007, 01:24:09 PM
And for you?  rubschin:

For me - Anything by Barabara Cartland
Barbara Taylor Bradford
Jackie Collins
Mills and Boons etc

 sick2:
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Barman on December 12, 2007, 01:31:13 PM
And for you?  rubschin:

For me - Anything by Barabara Cartland
Barbara Taylor Bradford
Jackie Collins
Mills and Boons etc

 sick2:
I was thinking more along the lines of Lockpicking made easy...  rubschin:
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Miss Demeanour on December 12, 2007, 01:37:50 PM
I was thinking more along the lines of Lockpicking made easy...  rubschin:

Nah - although I read Hurdling for Dummies in one day  lol:
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Barman on December 12, 2007, 01:38:41 PM
I was thinking more along the lines of Lockpicking made easy...  rubschin:

Nah - although I read Hurdling for Dummies  lol:in one day
Computing made EZ?  whistle:
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Nick on December 12, 2007, 01:39:48 PM
Castration instruments of the World?
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: tel on December 12, 2007, 01:40:15 PM
At this time of year, it's more likely to be -


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FaV2mLcPi.jpg&hash=961a11242c442dfdaac92e796497ab27b76b2566) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=aV2mLcPi)

Saves trudging up to John Lewis.
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Miss Demeanour on December 12, 2007, 01:45:07 PM
Computing made EZ?  whistle:

 redface:

Isn't your memory supposed to be fading at your age  ;)
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Snoopy on December 12, 2007, 01:46:38 PM
Computing made EZ?  whistle:

 redface:

Isn't your memory supposed to be fading at your age  ;)


I think he keeps files on us all.
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: tel on December 12, 2007, 01:49:01 PM
Computing made EZ?  whistle:

 redface:

Isn't your memory supposed to be fading at your age  ;)


I think he keeps files on us all.

Tell him to keep his flies to himself.
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Barman on December 12, 2007, 02:38:21 PM
Computing made EZ?  whistle:

 redface:

Isn't your memory supposed to be fading at your age  ;)


I think he keeps files on us all.
whistle:
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Grumpmeister on December 12, 2007, 02:38:36 PM
Computing made EZ?  whistle:

 redface:

Isn't your memory supposed to be fading at your age  ;)

Its a strange side effect from him drinking a crate of hair growth tonic a while back, kind of a revrse form of alzheimers.  whistle:
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Barman on December 12, 2007, 02:38:58 PM
Computing made EZ?  whistle:

 redface:

Isn't your memory supposed to be fading at your age  ;)
Young at heart my dear...  ;)
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: The Moan Ranger on December 12, 2007, 02:49:46 PM

Maybe they who want her to judge - know far more than us mere mortals about what is good literature.

For Snoopy that would obviously be the back of the Bonio box.
For Barman the til receipts.
For Grumpmeister - Bill Gates autobiography
For Nick - anything to do with anger management
For Wenchy - anything to do with tat management and crafts
For DS - the history of razor blades - they are the only thing sharper than him
For Tel - Careers and Opportunities magazine
For Grumpyoldsolider  - anything in big writing with lots of pictures
For Moan Ranger - anything greasy


Explain. Pronto.
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Nick on December 12, 2007, 02:52:24 PM
Motor bikes?
Kebabs?
Turkish lady wrestlers?
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: tel on December 12, 2007, 03:47:33 PM
Motor bikes?
Kebabs?
Turkish lady wrestlers?

2 out of 3 aint bad ;D
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: The Moan Ranger on December 12, 2007, 03:58:32 PM
 angry041:
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Barman on December 12, 2007, 04:01:46 PM
angry041:
You big girl!  point:
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Darwins Selection on December 12, 2007, 04:03:29 PM
Motor bikes?
Kebabs?
Turkish lady wrestlers?

2 out of 3 aint bad ;D
Doesn't he like kebabs then?
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: tel on December 12, 2007, 04:08:20 PM
Motor bikes?
Kebabs?
Turkish lady wrestlers?

2 out of 3 aint bad ;D
Doesn't he like kebabs then?

I suppose it depends on what kind of evening he fancies.
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Snoopy on December 12, 2007, 04:11:32 PM
Motor bikes?
Kebabs?
Turkish lady wrestlers?

2 out of 3 aint bad ;D
Doesn't he like kebabs then?

I suppose it depends on what kind of evening he fancies.

Holding hands with several pints of Youngs and some dubious sounding characters if his posts are anything to go by.
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: tel on December 12, 2007, 04:24:27 PM
Motor bikes?
Kebabs?
Turkish lady wrestlers?

2 out of 3 aint bad ;D
Doesn't he like kebabs then?

I suppose it depends on what kind of evening he fancies.

Holding hands with several pints of Youngs and some dubious sounding characters if his posts are anything to go by.

We are not all dubious, I'll have you know.
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Nick on December 12, 2007, 04:28:59 PM
Of course not, of course not.........
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on December 12, 2007, 04:51:41 PM
Motor bikes?
Kebabs?
Turkish lady wrestlers?

2 out of 3 aint bad ;D
Doesn't he like kebabs then?

I suppose it depends on what kind of evening he fancies.

Holding hands with several pints of Youngs and some dubious sounding characters if his posts are anything to go by.

We are not all dubious, I'll have you know.

I, on the other hand, am dubious as to the authenticity of that statement, given the company you admit to keeping!


Now that's what I call splitting an infinitive!
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: tel on December 12, 2007, 04:53:55 PM
Motor bikes?
Kebabs?
Turkish lady wrestlers?

2 out of 3 aint bad ;D
Doesn't he like kebabs then?

I suppose it depends on what kind of evening he fancies.

Holding hands with several pints of Youngs and some dubious sounding characters if his posts are anything to go by.

We are not all dubious, I'll have you know.

I, on the other hand, am dubious as to the authenticity of that statement, given the company you admit to keeping!

I am older and wiser (which roughly translates, that I can't neck it down like what they does).

Off for a Youngs now.
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Nick on December 12, 2007, 04:54:16 PM
I see no split infinitive. You are using "keeping" in some continuous sense.



OK, hat, coat etc.
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on December 12, 2007, 04:57:25 PM
I see no split infinitive. You are using "keeping" in some continuous sense.



OK, hat, coat etc.

Is this not an infinitive what's been splitted?:

Quote from: Marley's Ghost
I, on the other hand, am dubious as to the authenticity of that statement, given the company you admit to keeping!

In that sentence, I have inserted stuff between I and am, thus splitting the infinitive (as in to boldly go) - or am I being thicker than usual?
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Nick on December 12, 2007, 05:00:15 PM
Yes you are, I am is not an infinitive. The am bit is derived from the infinitive "to be". OK?

Mr Nick, PhD (English)
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: The Moan Ranger on December 12, 2007, 05:20:00 PM
Que?
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Nick on December 12, 2007, 06:07:29 PM
And you can f*ck off too evil:
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Grumpmeister on December 12, 2007, 06:41:49 PM
Que?

I'd be careful using one of Captain Calamity's catchphrases, there could be a Tutenkamenesque curse attached to it......  scared2:
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Nick on December 12, 2007, 07:12:00 PM
And you can f*ck off too evil:
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Grumpmeister on December 12, 2007, 07:16:48 PM
And a merry christmas to you too Nicholas.  point:
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: grumpyoldsoldier on December 12, 2007, 08:00:13 PM

Maybe they who want her to judge - know far more than us mere mortals about what is good literature.

For Snoopy that would obviously be the back of the Bonio box.
For Barman the til receipts.
For Grumpmeister - Bill Gates autobiography
For Nick - anything to do with anger management
For Wenchy - anything to do with tat management and crafts
For DS - the history of razor blades - they are the only thing sharper than him
For Tel - Careers and Opportunities magazine
For Grumpyoldsolider  - anything in big writing with lots of pictures
For Moan Ranger - anything greasy

Only if the pictures have tits,, big tits and in pairs please, thank you!

With the words Tits in big writing underneath
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Nick on December 12, 2007, 08:05:44 PM
 eeek:
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: grumpyoldsoldier on December 12, 2007, 09:33:04 PM
Is one allowed to use the tits word?
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Nick on December 13, 2007, 08:22:02 AM
One already has noooo:
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Bar Wench on December 13, 2007, 08:56:30 AM
Tits is fine. Certainly better than breastage which an aquaintance of ours uses.  ::)
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: grumpyoldsoldier on December 13, 2007, 10:14:49 AM
Sounds like some form of medieval castle fortification.
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Snoopy on December 13, 2007, 10:15:38 AM
Sounds like some form of medieval castle fortification.

And in some cases that may be necessary.
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Bar Wench on December 13, 2007, 10:16:57 AM
Breasticles is another one he uses.  ::)
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Snoopy on December 13, 2007, 10:18:36 AM
Breasticles is another one he uses.  ::)

Man is clearly a Tit ~ cast him from your circle without delay.
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Bar Wench on December 13, 2007, 10:20:02 AM
I've been trying to for the last three years. Thank goodness Mr Wench is crap at organising his own social life.  cloud9:
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Snoopy on December 13, 2007, 10:21:00 AM
I've been trying to for the last three years. Thank goodness Mr Wench is crap at organising his own social life.  cloud9:

The Welsh don't generally have a social life ~ they have Chapel and Rugby.
Social life in Wales ended when they shut the collieries ~ no more communal bathing see.
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Bar Wench on December 13, 2007, 10:22:08 AM
Football and choir.

If Mr Wench was a chapel goer I wouldn't have touched him with a barge pole!
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Snoopy on December 13, 2007, 10:22:53 AM
Football and choir.

If Mr Wench was a chapel goer I wouldn't have touched him with a barge pole!

They are all chapel at heart  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: grumpyoldsoldier on December 13, 2007, 10:23:27 AM
Breasticles is another one he uses.  ::)
As in colder than a witches tit?
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Snoopy on December 13, 2007, 10:25:14 AM
Breasticles is another one he uses.  ::)
As in colder than a witches tit?

 smile: ;D lol: eeek:
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Bar Wench on December 13, 2007, 10:26:54 AM
I wouldn't know if my Aunt's tits are cold.  eeek: And frankly I don't think I want to.  eeek:
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Snoopy on December 13, 2007, 10:28:29 AM
My nose is cold  whistle:
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Bar Wench on December 13, 2007, 10:31:19 AM
Just means you are a healthy hound.
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Snoopy on December 13, 2007, 10:35:08 AM
Just means you are a healthy hound.


That's a relief ~ Been to the vet this morning ~ had flu jab, which is now causing my arm to ache, Blood pressure very good, Cholesterol  levels down (V Good), Repeat 'script issued to carry me into 2008. And now you confirm I am in good health .... all this good news I'm not sure if I should be  cloud9: or  scared2:

MiL is not so good though ~ we may be approaching an end there ~ Docs have warned family to "be prepared"
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Bar Wench on December 13, 2007, 10:40:23 AM
Never good when they say that. Fingers crossed that she lasts till after Christmas. Poor Mrs Snoops. I will be thinking of her.
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Uncle Mort on December 13, 2007, 10:50:16 AM
They told my family that about me once. Still here though.  happy088
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Nick on December 13, 2007, 10:52:18 AM
Same here. People often say "Mr Nick is coming to visit. Be prepared for the worst." Odd that.
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Snoopy on December 13, 2007, 10:52:59 AM
They told my family that about me once. Still here though.  happy088

Me Too UM Me Too.
Creaking Gate never falls off its hinges they say.
Title: Re: And what exactly
Post by: Grumpmeister on December 13, 2007, 12:22:26 PM
Same here. People often say "Mr Nick is coming to visit. Be prepared for the worst." Odd that.

I think thats more advance warning about the curse of Captain Calamity rather than any specific health related issue.  whistle: