The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Miss Demeanour on December 11, 2007, 08:21:02 PM

Title: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Miss Demeanour on December 11, 2007, 08:21:02 PM
So boys  - they have finally catered for your every need. eyes:

John Lewis are organising an evening in the lingerie department especially for blokes -  Organised just for men, you’ll find leather sofas, chilled beer, plasma screen TVs and plenty of lingerie to choose from. Allegedly they will even have models to show what the products will obviously look like on your beloved.

I know none of you would fall for such blatant marketing tripe  noooo:

http://www.johnlewis.com/Shops/DSTemplate.aspx?Id=572 (ftp://http://www.johnlewis.com/Shops/DSTemplate.aspx?Id=572)
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Nick on December 11, 2007, 08:47:18 PM
I am forming a queue!!
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Miss Demeanour on December 11, 2007, 08:49:30 PM
I am forming a queue!!

What on your own - is that possible ?????
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Nick on December 11, 2007, 08:50:40 PM
Yes. I am saving places for several mates.

OK?
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Miss Demeanour on December 11, 2007, 09:04:17 PM
Yes. I am saving places for several mates.

OK?

Whatever you say Sir. I am not going to challenge you today the mood you are in  scared2:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Barman on December 12, 2007, 06:56:26 AM
I am in the mates queue - with Nick, not for condoms you understand...  redface:

I have a fond memory of being at San Francisco airport many, many years ago when they ran a lingerie show – loads of gorgeous models walked around the tables wearing literally nothing but lingerie - including night wear.  eeek:

Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Darwins Selection on December 12, 2007, 08:39:54 AM
Disgusting old men the lot of you, noooo:







I wonder if you would reserve a place for a friend of mine.  whistle: 
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Barman on December 12, 2007, 08:41:29 AM
Disgusting old men the lot of you, noooo:







I wonder if you would reserve a place for a friend of mine.  whistle: 

Get to the back!  cussing:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Darwins Selection on December 12, 2007, 08:45:09 AM
Disgusting old men the lot of you, noooo:







I wonder if you would reserve a place for a friend of mine.  whistle: 

get to the bck!  cussing:
Bok?
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Barman on December 12, 2007, 08:47:51 AM
Disgusting old men the lot of you, noooo:







I wonder if you would reserve a place for a friend of mine.  whistle: 

get to the bck!  cussing:
Bok?
yes...  redface:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Miss Demeanour on December 12, 2007, 08:49:55 AM
yes...  redface:

Think the anticipation is having an adverse effect.

Quick get him some Damarts adverts on display to calm him down  ;D
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Darwins Selection on December 12, 2007, 08:50:07 AM
Disgusting old men the lot of you, noooo:

I wonder if you would reserve a place for a friend of mine.  whistle: 

get to the bck!  cussing:
Bok?
yes...  redface:
Is this some Sarth Effrikan thing?
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Darwins Selection on December 12, 2007, 08:53:11 AM
yes...  redface:

Think the anticipation is having an adverse effect.

Quick get him some Damarts adverts on display to calm him down  ;D
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.spireworkwear.co.uk%2Fimages%2Fproduct_images%2Ffleece_bodywarmer%2FLongJohns.jpg&hash=bee5896e5c129fad68fa96ac43414c1a6db9c267)

 rubschin:

Is this some 'Breaking News' item MD?
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Miss Demeanour on December 12, 2007, 08:55:47 AM
Is this some 'Breaking News' item MD?

Blimey DS -  lol:

You do know how to get a girl all hot and bothered - and before breakfast too  eeek:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Barman on December 12, 2007, 09:08:56 AM
yes...  redface:

Think the anticipation is having an adverse effect.

Quick get him some Damarts adverts on display to calm him down  ;D
M m my hands were shaking...  noooo:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: tel on December 12, 2007, 09:52:32 AM
One of the pubs round here had an Ann Summers party one evening!
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: grumpyoldsoldier on December 12, 2007, 10:10:36 AM
Is there room for a short fat one in this queue?
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Nick on December 12, 2007, 10:10:55 AM
Of course, of course.
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Darwins Selection on December 12, 2007, 10:18:22 AM
Is there room for a short fat one in this queue?
You mean another short fat one?
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Grumpmeister on December 12, 2007, 07:55:06 PM
Well Miss D could always organise a VP one for us here...  whistle:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: grumpyoldsoldier on December 12, 2007, 07:57:28 PM
I will sign up for that
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Nick on December 12, 2007, 08:06:19 PM
I am forming another queue!
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Miss Demeanour on December 13, 2007, 08:07:31 AM
Well Miss D could always organise a VP one for us here...  whistle:

VP ????

Virtual Panties?
Very Past -it?
Vultures & Predators?
Vile & Putrid?
Viscose & Polyester ?
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Nick on December 13, 2007, 08:21:47 AM
Virtual Pub even?
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Miss Demeanour on December 13, 2007, 08:23:05 AM
Virtual Pub even?

Thats far too logical -  lol:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Nick on December 13, 2007, 08:23:26 AM
Anyone at your place gone down with salt poisoning?
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Bar Wench on December 13, 2007, 08:55:46 AM
 eeek:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Miss Demeanour on December 13, 2007, 08:56:52 AM
Anyone at your place gone down with salt poisoning?

I was interviewing some gorgeous bloke yesterday afternoon  cloud9: - so I kept my eye off the kitchen situation.

However I have checked the levels this morning and it has remained untouched. I know there were a lot of office parties going on yesterday so there were not that many people around.

So I wait by this morning and at the first splutter I will be in there with an accusational finger lol:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Bar Wench on December 13, 2007, 08:58:19 AM
One assumes you hired him! Office eye candy is always a good thing!  cloud9:


Salt?!?!? What have I missed?
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Miss Demeanour on December 13, 2007, 09:06:09 AM
One assumes you hired him! Office eye candy is always a good thing!  cloud9:


Salt?!?!? What have I missed?


Starts January 7th  cloud9:

As for the salt - some individual in the Office thinks it is perfectly acceptable to never have to buy their own milk and nick others on a regular basis.

I have replaced some of the contents of my carton with enough salt to make you spit.

I await the unveiling of the evil fiend.  evil:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Bar Wench on December 13, 2007, 09:14:20 AM
1) Well done!

2) Excellent!  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Nick on December 13, 2007, 09:22:47 AM
I spose you will be trying it now. noooo:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Bar Wench on December 13, 2007, 09:32:24 AM
No because we all share milk that the boss buys.

And we have no vacancies for eye candy.  angry041:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Nick on December 13, 2007, 09:33:58 AM
Stick up a poster of David Hasselhof or similar? David Cassidy?
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Bar Wench on December 13, 2007, 09:34:32 AM
Showing the generation gap is a wide as ever Nicholas?  lol:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Nick on December 13, 2007, 09:35:03 AM
I don't know about these things? David Niven then?
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Bar Wench on December 13, 2007, 10:02:36 AM
 Banghead

As you well know I'm a David Tennant girl.

How is it going with Mrs Nick being at home? Have you taken refuge in the attic yet?
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Nick on December 13, 2007, 10:05:23 AM
She is making a cake at present, which will take her some time. After that I shall be at her mercy. The Boy has made a Do Not Disturb sign for the office door, but she ignores things like that. He is back at school today scared2:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Snoopy on December 13, 2007, 10:08:46 AM
I have a lock on my office door  evil:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Bar Wench on December 13, 2007, 10:08:57 AM
He's gone back! For some reason I thought he was off till next term too.  rubschin: Oh well, at least the peace can only be shattered by one of them for you!

What sort of cake? I need to know these things.
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Nick on December 13, 2007, 10:12:37 AM
A very large fruit cake for her sister's 50th birthday.
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Bar Wench on December 13, 2007, 10:13:27 AM
Why VERY?
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Snoopy on December 13, 2007, 10:14:56 AM
Why VERY?

Lorra candles to support  whistle:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Bar Wench on December 13, 2007, 10:16:35 AM
Which would also explain my next question of why not chocolate. Because it would melt.

I made stained glass window biscuits yesterday. Very pretty and tasty.
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: grumpyoldsoldier on December 13, 2007, 10:21:21 AM
Good Grief Bar Wench!!!!!!!

 I am reminded of ......

HOW TO BE A GOOD WIFE
Home Economics High School Text Book, 1954
 
 
Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal, on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.
 
Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so that you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.
 
Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the home just before your husband arrives, gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.
 
Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair, and if necessary change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.
 
Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, dishwasher, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad he is home.
 
Some don'ts: Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he is late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.
 
Listen to him. You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.
 
Make the evening his. Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.
 
The Goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
 
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Snoopy on December 13, 2007, 10:24:38 AM
I couldn't agree more ~ 'cept that you left out the bit about putting the children to bed early and shagging him  whistle:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Bar Wench on December 13, 2007, 10:26:24 AM
So this wouldn't be the time to announce that Mr Wench is getting a handknitted jumper for Christmas then?

Or that homemade Christmas cake, pudding, mince pies, stuffing, sloe gin, shortbread and cashmere bedsocks are travelling up the M4 to Wales for Christmas.

Oh also that I posted out handmade Christmas cards yesterdays, glazed a ham for the weekend gathering, tied ribbons on homemade salt dough ornaments and cleaned the windows.

 redface:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Nick on December 13, 2007, 10:26:38 AM
I think I shall print that off and give it to Mrs Nick,








................................................just before I go canoeing
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Nick on December 13, 2007, 10:27:14 AM
Why VERY?

It has to go around 90 people, so it is VERY BIG
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Snoopy on December 13, 2007, 10:27:36 AM
So this wouldn't be the time to announce that Mr Wench is getting a handknitted jumper for Christmas then?

Or that homemade Christmas cake, pudding, mince pies, stuffing, sloe gin, shortbread and cashmere bedsocks are travelling up the M4 to Wales for Christmas.

Oh also that I posted out handmade Christmas cards yesterdays, glazed a ham for the weekend gathering, tied ribbons on homemade salt dough ornaments and cleaned the windows.

 redface:

All very laudable I'm sure but did you shag him?
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Bar Wench on December 13, 2007, 10:28:09 AM
I took him out for dinner and to the cinema. I shan't comment further.
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Snoopy on December 13, 2007, 10:29:00 AM
I'll take that as a no then.
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: grumpyoldsoldier on December 13, 2007, 10:29:15 AM
I couldn't agree more ~ 'cept that you left out the bit about putting the children to bed early and shagging him  whistle:
I will get back to you on that, after I have finished the ironing.... Mrs GOS spotted the home economics post, I am going to be punished.. severely!
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Bar Wench on December 13, 2007, 10:30:59 AM
 point:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Snoopy on December 13, 2007, 10:31:21 AM
Lock on office door. PC password protected. I don't care ~ she gets to hear about only that which I select  whistle:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Bar Wench on December 13, 2007, 10:31:47 AM
I would be seriously unimpressed if Mr Wench locked himself in a room!  evil:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Nick on December 13, 2007, 10:33:06 AM
The food mixer has packed up. I am being required to mend it. How TF do I know how to mend a food mixer. Mrs N is a-hunting for fuses. I can see us cannibalising a table lamp soon.
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Snoopy on December 13, 2007, 10:36:46 AM
The food mixer has packed up. I am being required to mend it. How TF do I know how to mend a food mixer. Mrs N is a-hunting for fuses. I can see us cannibalising a table lamp soon.

We usually take a fuse out of the hair curlers ~ on the grounds that Mrs S has short hair and never curls it anyway. Why then she should own three sets of curlers is another of life's mysteries.
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Miss Demeanour on December 13, 2007, 12:02:05 PM
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.metroactive.com%2Fpapers%2Fcruz%2F04.17.02%2Fgifs%2Fdupuis-0216.jpg&hash=7ca2ba982fab72ef5190594bee4243ddf19f9aa1)

The milk thief has just been uncovered.  cussing: boxing whacky007

The bastard just starting spluttering as he took a sip of his tea coming from the kitchen.


When confronted he claimed it was an innocent mistake. Innocent - my arse - my name is all over the carton.

Only trouble is he is one of the Coppers that works in our department. Could you adam and eve it eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Nick on December 13, 2007, 12:06:27 PM
Um, did you explain that you had put salt in the milk to catch him out??
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Uncle Mort on December 13, 2007, 12:15:27 PM
Excellent  happy088

Who's next on your hit list  scared2:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Nick on December 13, 2007, 12:20:34 PM
She has found her vocation. Poisoning people scared2:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Grumpmeister on December 13, 2007, 12:31:41 PM
Excellent  happy088

Who's next on your hit list  scared2:

Probably me for suggesting she arranges a similar academy here at the pub  scared:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Nick on December 13, 2007, 01:00:28 PM
I have already done that. Who says men can't multi-task? spider:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Miss Demeanour on December 13, 2007, 01:02:25 PM
Excellent  happy088

Who's next on your hit list  scared2:
I am a nice girl honest  ;)

Just don't like people taking the piss  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Grumpmeister on December 13, 2007, 01:03:40 PM
Excellent  happy088

Who's next on your hit list  scared2:
I am a nice girl honest  ;)

Just don't like peopel taking the piss  eveilgrin:

Thankfully I'm not from peopelopolis so I'm safe for the time being  whistle:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Snoopy on December 13, 2007, 01:05:01 PM
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.metroactive.com%2Fpapers%2Fcruz%2F04.17.02%2Fgifs%2Fdupuis-0216.jpg&hash=7ca2ba982fab72ef5190594bee4243ddf19f9aa1)

The milk thief has just been uncovered.  cussing: boxing whacky007

The bastard just starting spluttering as he took a sip of his tea coming from the kitchen.


When confronted he claimed it was an innocent mistake. Innocent - my arse - my name is all over the carton.

Only trouble is he is one of the Coppers that works in our department. Could you adam and eve it eveilgrin:

Assuming Copper to mean policeman ~ had you revealed that you worked with some of them I would have known who the milk thief was instantly. ::)
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Miss Demeanour on December 13, 2007, 01:05:56 PM
Thankfully I'm not from peopelopolis so I'm safe for the time being  whistle:

Right you are next.....

my chosen poison for you will be a pollonium filled coffee bean  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Miss Demeanour on December 13, 2007, 01:07:17 PM
Assuming Copper to mean policeman ~ had you revealed that you worked with some of them I would have known who the milk thief was instantly. ::)

They are the type of Police Officers who work in 'Partnership' with the local authority in the Crime and Disorder reduction team....#

sorry I am falling asleep while I types that lol:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Snoopy on December 13, 2007, 01:10:01 PM
Always the first to "borrow" things that belong to others ~ they seem to think they are above the normal rules of civilised behaviour.
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Grumpmeister on December 13, 2007, 01:29:48 PM
Thankfully I'm not from peopelopolis so I'm safe for the time being  whistle:

Right you are next.....

my chosen poison for you will be a pollonium filled coffee bean  eveilgrin:

Ah but as I am a coffee snob you would need to know the correct bean and blend  point:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Nick on December 13, 2007, 01:32:59 PM
I suspect she may just insert the bean into one of your orifices without the option
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Bar Wench on December 13, 2007, 01:34:44 PM
Think he likes that sort of thing though. Coffee beans shat through virgin's arses.
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Nick on December 13, 2007, 01:36:03 PM
Quite rare then, I imagine
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Miss Demeanour on December 13, 2007, 01:46:31 PM
Sorry GM - I think you are under the impression you had a choice
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Nick on December 13, 2007, 02:05:27 PM
 point:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: tel on December 13, 2007, 03:43:44 PM
Just filed a bundle of bank and card statements.

Nothing to do with this really apart from a hit on my account for a lingerie purchase! lol:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: grumpyoldsoldier on December 13, 2007, 04:23:49 PM
I hope they will fit you. ;)
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Nick on December 13, 2007, 04:24:48 PM
He got the idea from the Ladies' Night thread. eeek:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Grumpmeister on December 13, 2007, 04:46:59 PM
Sorry GM - I think you are under the impression you had a choice

That's alright munchkin, I know you cant help it  whistle:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Nick on December 13, 2007, 06:01:50 PM
Permanent PMT I fear scared2:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Miss Demeanour on December 14, 2007, 08:19:29 AM
Permanent PMT I fear scared2:

I don't get PMT.

I am this happy and jovial all day - every day  lol:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Nick on December 14, 2007, 08:20:12 AM
Poisons the police on a good day scared2:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Miss Demeanour on December 14, 2007, 08:28:04 AM
I am expecting recognition in the New Years Honours List for this  lol:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Miss Demeanour on December 14, 2007, 08:31:35 AM
And now I'm trying to post a new topic and it won't let me - the conspiracy grows  evil:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Barman on December 14, 2007, 08:42:42 AM
And now I'm trying to post a new topic and it won't let me - the conspiracy grows  evil:
Can I help?  whistle:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Miss Demeanour on December 14, 2007, 08:57:56 AM
I can't do PM's at work either so I'm afraid I shall have to bore everyone this morning.

I have tried to post a New Topic this morning and I keep getting the Page Cannot be displayed when I come to post it.

It really isn't that interesting a topic but just gives me another excuse to rant  lol:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Barman on December 14, 2007, 08:59:21 AM
I can't do PM's at work either so I'm afraid I shall have to bore everyone this morning.

I have tried to post a New Topic this morning and I keep getting the Page Cannot be displayed when I come to post it.

It really isn't that interesting a topic but just gives me another excuse to rant  lol:
Must be your firewall or sumfink?

Did someone die there?  scared2:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Bar Wench on December 14, 2007, 09:05:02 AM
I can't do PM's at work either so I'm afraid I shall have to bore everyone this morning.

I have tried to post a New Topic this morning and I keep getting the Page Cannot be displayed when I come to post it.

It really isn't that interesting a topic but just gives me another excuse to rant  lol:

I shall post a new topic for you then.
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Miss Demeanour on December 14, 2007, 09:17:19 AM
Maybe I should just see it as a sign and understand that today I am only meant to comment on the wisdom of others  lol:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Bar Wench on December 14, 2007, 09:26:22 AM
But I already did it.  redface:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Grumpmeister on December 14, 2007, 11:03:30 AM
Permanent PMT I fear scared2:

I don't get PMT.

I am this happy and jovial all day - every day  lol:

Dont panic Nick its just an act, she's a sweetie really  whistle:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Miss Demeanour on December 14, 2007, 11:04:46 AM
Dont panic Nick its just an act, she's a sweetie really  whistle:

SSSSSShhhhhhh Don't let everyone know - it will ruin my reputation  ;D
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Snoopy on December 14, 2007, 11:06:40 AM
Dont panic Nick its just an act, she's a sweetie really  whistle:

SSSSSShhhhhhh Don't let everyone know - it will ruin my reputation  ;D


That went ages ago pet.  ::)
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Miss Demeanour on December 14, 2007, 11:09:50 AM
That went ages ago pet.  ::)

Too true  ;)
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Grumpmeister on December 14, 2007, 11:15:30 AM
Dont panic Nick its just an act, she's a sweetie really  whistle:

SSSSSShhhhhhh Don't let everyone know - it will ruin my reputation  ;D

So I should stay quiet about what I call you in private then?  eyes:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Nick on December 14, 2007, 11:16:02 AM
 eeek:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Miss Demeanour on December 14, 2007, 11:17:34 AM
So I should stay quiet about what I call you in private then?  eyes:

Now you are just scandel mongering GM  ;D
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Grumpmeister on December 14, 2007, 11:18:35 AM
Oh really M.M.M.  point:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Nick on December 14, 2007, 11:19:30 AM
 rubschin:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Miss Demeanour on December 14, 2007, 11:25:24 AM
rubschin:

Come on now Nick it's not like I have a history of such behaviour  cry: lol: cry:

Think GM is just on having a Friday Feeling day - just as Robinson Crusoe recommends  lol:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Nick on December 14, 2007, 11:27:34 AM
Where is Jock the Window Cleaner when you need him?
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Snoopy on December 14, 2007, 11:27:47 AM
rubschin:

Come on now Nick it's not like I have a history of such behaviour  cry: lol: cry:

Think GM is just on having a Friday Feeling day - just as Robinson Crusoe recommends  lol:

 rubschin:

Y'know ~ That almost makes sense ~ Scots are you?
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Grumpmeister on December 14, 2007, 11:31:33 AM
Nah Nick, you are thinking of Ticketyboo  noooo:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Nick on December 14, 2007, 11:33:02 AM
I don't think I was
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Miss Demeanour on December 14, 2007, 11:33:06 AM
Y'know ~ That almost makes sense ~ Scots are you?

Oh no no no......

Born  and early life = Somerset
Middle childhood = Birmingham
University onwards = London

Sum total = Bloody confused  lol:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Miss Demeanour on December 14, 2007, 11:34:23 AM
I don't think I was

No I don't think you were either  redface: redface: redface:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Snoopy on December 14, 2007, 11:39:38 AM
It was the way you phrased that little bit "Think GM is just on having a Friday Feeling day" that suggested a Celtic background ~ Zummerset be orlroight tho'
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Nick on December 14, 2007, 11:43:02 AM
I don't think I was

No I don't think you were either  redface: redface: redface:

Some of us have long memories..............
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Snoopy on December 14, 2007, 11:44:51 AM
I don't think I was

No I don't think you were either  redface: redface: redface:

Some of us have long memories..............

Hmmmmm ~ The mists are clearing  whistle:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Grumpmeister on December 14, 2007, 11:47:06 AM
Born  and early life = Somerset
Middle childhood = Birmingham
University onwards = London

That does explain an awful lot Miss D  whistle:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Miss Demeanour on December 14, 2007, 11:47:28 AM
It was the way you phrased that little bit "Think GM is just on having a Friday Feeling day" that suggested a Celtic background ~ Zummerset be orlroight tho'

Think that probably suggests more about my retarded typing skills  eeek:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Snoopy on December 14, 2007, 11:53:30 AM
It was the way you phrased that little bit "Think GM is just on having a Friday Feeling day" that suggested a Celtic background ~ Zummerset be orlroight tho'

Think that probably suggests more about my retarded typing skills  eeek:

Must be hard running, typing and holding a chopper an axe in your hand
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Darwins Selection on December 14, 2007, 12:20:10 PM
Born  and early life = Somerset
Middle childhood = Birmingham
University onwards = London

That does explain an awful lot Miss D  whistle:
Born  and early life = Somerset=Writes daft poetry
Middle childhood = Birmingham=Unintelligible accent
University onwards = London=High maintenance.
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Nick on December 14, 2007, 12:21:00 PM
Brave today, aren't we?
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Darwins Selection on December 14, 2007, 12:22:54 PM
Brave today, aren't we?
I think our rules of combat are long established.  ;)
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Snoopy on December 14, 2007, 12:47:39 PM
Brave today, aren't we?
I think our rules of combat are long established.  ;)

It relies on anonymity and distance
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Miss Demeanour on December 14, 2007, 12:49:01 PM
Born  and early life = Somerset=Writes daft poetry
Middle childhood = Birmingham=Unintelligible accent
University onwards = London=High maintenance.

 lol:

Wish I was high maintainance  cry:

Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Bar Wench on December 14, 2007, 12:51:17 PM
So do I.  sad24:

The high maintenance girls seem to do so much better.  sad24:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Barman on December 14, 2007, 12:53:21 PM
So do I.  sad24:

The high maintenance girls seem to do so much better.  sad24:
At what?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Darwins Selection on December 14, 2007, 12:54:03 PM
So do I.  sad24:

The high maintenance girls seem to do so much better.  sad24:
And so much more often.  whistle:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Grumpmeister on December 14, 2007, 01:18:10 PM
Born  and early life = Somerset=Writes daft poetry
Middle childhood = Birmingham=Unintelligible accent
University onwards = London=High maintenance.

 lol:

Wish I was high maintainance  cry:



No you dont, I've had a couple of high maintenance exes and looking back I can't see a single reason why I didnt get the hell away from them at the first opportunity. 
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Nick on December 14, 2007, 01:29:40 PM
Red rag time:

http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/beauty/article3029451.ece (http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/beauty/article3029451.ece)
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Bar Wench on December 14, 2007, 01:33:38 PM
I've only skimmed it but to a certain extent what he says is true. However, having said that when beauty treatements and gym membership costs in this country come down to the same price they are in America then I am sure that British woman would bother more too.

Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Nick on December 14, 2007, 01:36:55 PM
Quote
I’m not saying that I’m the greatest prize out there, but at least I’d put on a clean shirt, shaved and brushed my teeth. Sophie tumbled into the house looking like a refugee from Hurricane Katrina. She smelt like the R&D lab at Philip Morris. Her outfit was about as sexy as a half-pound of ground meat. And, surely, the only time she’d seen the inside of a gym was to ask directions to the nearest pub. I was hurt that my friends thought I’d be remotely interested in Sophie. ...I sat there watching Sophie tuck into a second huge plate of shepherd’s pie and realised why no self-respecting American girl consumes carbohydrates after 2pm. I’m not surprised Sophie was having trouble finding a boyfriend. Regardless of whether she was interested in me or not, she was unwittingly sabotaging her own chances with any man.


 eeek:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Bar Wench on December 14, 2007, 01:40:50 PM
That isn't terribly flattering.  eeek:

However, I've never been on a blind date. If I did go, I certainly wouldn't be eating shephards pie and certainly not two helpings of it!
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Nick on December 14, 2007, 01:43:34 PM
What would you eat then? eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Uncle Mort on December 14, 2007, 01:45:19 PM
Quote
The author is a screenwriter (single) who divides his time between London and Los Angeles

Not someone who would likely meet a good cross section of either UK or US society. The American movie business? I'd imagine all the women he meets there are totally self obsessed.

I note that the women in the City are far better turned out and slimmer than those I see in Harlow shopping centre (for example). It's all down to where you look.
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Darwins Selection on December 14, 2007, 01:46:39 PM
Quote
no self-respecting American girl consumes carbohydrates after 2pm.

happy001 happy001

True, they do stop from 2 until 3pm, then shovel it down again for the next 23 hours.
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Bar Wench on December 14, 2007, 01:48:18 PM
It is a well known fact that American women are better groomed. But when you can walk into a salon there and for under £40 get a leg, bikini, underarm wax, manicure and pedicure then what do you expect? A similar set of treatments here would be the best part of £100.
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Darwins Selection on December 14, 2007, 01:48:22 PM
It's all down to where you look.

About 12 inches below the eye-line usually.  whistle:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Nick on December 14, 2007, 01:50:20 PM
Quote
The author is a screenwriter (single) who divides his time between London and Los Angeles

Not someone who would likely meet a good cross section of either UK or US society. The American movie business? I'd imagine all the women he meets there are totally self obsessed.

I note that the women in the City are far better turned out and slimmer than those I see in Harlow shopping centre (for example). It's all down to where you look.

I entirely agree, I was expecting more  angry041: angry041:, thasall eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Bar Wench on December 14, 2007, 01:52:21 PM
Not from me. I grew up with a lot of American friends and still speak to some of them ;) I am well aware of how they view British women. My American friends can't believe the way I look to go to work. It takes the vast majority of them one hour plus just on hair and makeup to go out in the morning. Plus at least two hours of professional grooming a week. I can't afford it and frankly can't be bothered either. But that is the normal expectation there.
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Uncle Mort on December 14, 2007, 01:53:04 PM
I think she's used her quota of angry041:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Uncle Mort on December 14, 2007, 01:54:45 PM
It takes the vast majority of them one hour plus just on hair and makeup to go out in the morning. Plus at least two hours of professional grooming a week.

Good grief! what must they look like when they first get out of bed?
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Bar Wench on December 14, 2007, 01:55:08 PM
No I am just selective on where I use them and a thread that has turned into how much better turned out American women are then British isn't the place!  lol:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Bar Wench on December 14, 2007, 01:55:37 PM
It takes the vast majority of them one hour plus just on hair and makeup to go out in the morning. Plus at least two hours of professional grooming a week.

Good grief! what must they look like when they first get out of bed?

There you go! At least with us lot you have a rough idea of what you are getting!  lol:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Nick on December 14, 2007, 01:56:43 PM
It takes the vast majority of them one hour plus just on hair and makeup to go out in the morning. Plus at least two hours of professional grooming a week.

Good grief! what must they look like when they first get out of bed?
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.postimage.org%2FPq2tjSw9.jpg&hash=0971dadd1a9239c1fd243f4c24eb8300c33ab397) (http://www.postimage.org/image.php?v=Pq2tjSw9)
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Miss Demeanour on December 14, 2007, 02:11:19 PM
Oh for goodness sake - time for a reality check.

Go to America - walk down the street and try to find one of these 'ideal' women of which they speak. 

When you do come across them - they are so self absorbed, selfish and small minded that whatever beauty they may have on the outside quickly diminishes.

I am not saying British women are more beautiful but perhaps we are more honest.

But then we can't win - if we take too long getting ready then we are just true to type. Spend lots of money on cosmetics and body products etc we are just being wasteful and taken in by evil advertisers, cosmetic surgery is a scam etc etc etc.

I make the effort for myself (obviously I am implying I have a choice  lol:).
However I love feeling that I have pampered myself and if it is appreciated by others then even better  lol:

I wouldn't go to work dressed inappropriately or with my hair looking like a haystack, but likewise I wouldn't get up at 5 o clock to ensure I looked immaculate.

Lets have a bit of perspective in this.
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Bar Wench on December 14, 2007, 02:18:04 PM
My hair looks like a hairstack.  redface:

I do have mascara on though!
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Miss Demeanour on December 14, 2007, 02:19:35 PM
My hair looks like a hairstack.  redface:

I do have mascara on though!

But it is awfully windy today Wenchy - I am sure it was all in place when you left the house this morning  ;)

Is it waterproof mascara?
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Uncle Mort on December 14, 2007, 02:20:23 PM
It's the office Christmas party tonight. The women in the office have all brought a change of clothes and will spend 30-45 mins later on getting ready. The men will go as they are.
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Miss Demeanour on December 14, 2007, 02:24:51 PM
It's the office Christmas party tonight. The women in the office have all brought a change of clothes and will spend 30-45 mins later on getting ready. The men will go as they are.

We have one of ours tonight. Worse still it is fancy dress - the theme being The Wild West.

The men have bought in a cowboy hat and are wearing Jeans. The women have hired costumes from a shop  noooo:

We have another one next Wednesday. This has no theme so all week the girls have been 'consulting' on what to wear. The men  have been consulting on what beer is served in which pubs.  noooo:

Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Nick on December 14, 2007, 02:25:55 PM
I forgot who told me this, but someone on a transatlantic flight saw a wizened grey haired old lady disappear into the aeroplane toilet about 2 hours from Heathrow.

When she came out about 90 minutes later she was Joan Collins eeek:
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Nick on December 14, 2007, 02:26:28 PM
It's the office Christmas party tonight. The women in the office have all brought a change of clothes and will spend 30-45 mins later on getting ready. The men will go as they are.

We have one of ours tonight. Worse still it is fancy dress - the theme being The Wild West.

The men have bought in a cowboy hat and are wearing Jeans. The women have hired costumes from a shop  noooo:

We have another one next Wednesday. This has no theme so all week the girls have been 'consulting' on what to wear. The men  have been consulting on what beer is served in which pubs.  noooo:



Perfectly normal behaviour
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Snoopy on December 14, 2007, 02:43:09 PM
I am just soooooooooooo glad I have retired and what work I do I do at home, in my own time and set my own fees.
Wild horses would not drag me back into an office environment.

Mind you, when I was so employed, I never attended any Christmas function.
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Nick on December 14, 2007, 02:44:20 PM
Ours were pretty much compulsory and always involved terrifying amounts of alcohol.

I am glad I no longer have to endure them too.
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Snoopy on December 14, 2007, 02:46:21 PM
Ours were pretty much compulsory and always involved terrifying amounts of alcohol.

I am glad I no longer have to endure them too.

Oh they tried the compulsory bit ~ management duty and all that shite .... I always had the same answer ... I'll be with a potential client. Talking to my colleagues does not earn me nor the company money, talking to clients does.
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Darwins Selection on December 14, 2007, 03:21:39 PM
Mind you, when I was employed, I never attended any Christmas function.
Guide dogs only was it?


My hair looks like a hairstack.
A what?
Title: Re: Lingerie Buying Academy for men
Post by: Snoopy on December 14, 2007, 05:45:08 PM
Mind you, when I was employed, I never attended any Christmas function.
Guide dogs only was it?


My hair looks like a hairstack.
A what?

NO! I refuse to drink out of an ashtray ~ if they can't provide a decent bowl forget it. I hate being an afterthought.