The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: tel on November 30, 2007, 04:20:05 PM

Title: Worst pressie?
Post by: tel on November 30, 2007, 04:20:05 PM
Ok, so now we will be starting the countdown to Christmas, what's the worst pressie you have been given?
Title: Re: Worst pressie?
Post by: Nick on November 30, 2007, 04:21:58 PM
Crocheted bread roll holder (when I was a student)
Biography of Salavador Dali (in Spanish)
Anything my sister gives me
oh, and musical socks
Title: Re: Worst pressie?
Post by: Snoopy on November 30, 2007, 04:30:51 PM
A soccer logoed(sp?) mouse mat, soccer emblazoned chipped mug and a notepad. All in impenetrable hard transparent plastic wrapping and bearing the legend "Tesco World Cup Desk Set" given to me by my Sister in Law 18 months after the World Cup ............ It still had a veritable heap of price stickers that I carefully peeled off to discover that it had been discounted 7 times. She appeared to have paid 99pence for it.



Still it's the thought that counts ~ isn't it?
Title: Re: Worst pressie?
Post by: Nick on November 30, 2007, 04:31:36 PM
 drumroll:
Title: Re: Worst pressie?
Post by: tel on November 30, 2007, 04:32:02 PM
Corkscrew that broke the first time I used it (one of those wing ones) resulting in broken wine bottle.

A Richard Digance video - nothing wrong with him, but I bought the video earlier on and when buying it, was told it would not be in the shops, ever! My sister bought it in Woolworths!
Title: Re: Worst pressie?
Post by: Nick on November 30, 2007, 05:17:47 PM
A mate of mine once sent me a CD. Trouble is he had taken the CD out of the box to listen to it himself first and had failed to replace it.

My sister once sent me a video whch I discovered I had to rewind as she had watched it and not rewound it herself. The same sister also sent me a book, clearly marked "To be given away only with a copy of the Daily Mail".
Title: Re: Worst pressie?
Post by: The Moan Ranger on November 30, 2007, 05:25:45 PM
A hairdryer from me bruv's ex - hadn't seen her for months and she didn't know I had shaved my head...
Title: Re: Worst pressie?
Post by: Snoopy on November 30, 2007, 05:38:29 PM
I've been waiting for someone to say they once got an empty box labelled "Action Man Deserter" but I couldn't contain myself any longer so decided to ruin that joke.
Title: Re: Worst pressie?
Post by: The Moan Ranger on November 30, 2007, 05:46:20 PM
Back in your kennel. Chop, chop.
Title: Re: Worst pressie?
Post by: Nick on November 30, 2007, 07:31:41 PM
A hairdryer from me bruv's ex - hadn't seen her for months and she didn't know I had shaved my head...

You could pass it on to Barman for Christmas  point:
Title: Re: Worst pressie?
Post by: Darwins Selection on November 30, 2007, 07:47:19 PM
A hairdryer from me bruv's ex - hadn't seen her for months and she didn't know I had shaved my head...

You could pass it on to Barman for Christmas  point:

How unkind!

This is what he needs.

http://www.clinico.co.uk/restorit.asp (http://www.clinico.co.uk/restorit.asp)
Title: Re: Worst pressie?
Post by: Barman on December 01, 2007, 06:35:52 AM
A hairdryer from me bruv's ex - hadn't seen her for months and she didn't know I had shaved my head...

You could pass it on to Barman for Christmas  point:

How unkind!

This is what he needs.

http://www.clinico.co.uk/restorit.asp (http://www.clinico.co.uk/restorit.asp)
To drink or rub on my head?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Worst pressie?
Post by: Darwins Selection on December 01, 2007, 10:50:46 AM
A hairdryer from me bruv's ex - hadn't seen her for months and she didn't know I had shaved my head...

You could pass it on to Barman for Christmas  point:

How unkind!

This is what he needs.

http://www.clinico.co.uk/restorit.asp (http://www.clinico.co.uk/restorit.asp)
To drink or rub on my head?  rubschin:
Definitely
Title: Re: Worst pressie?
Post by: Barman on December 01, 2007, 10:51:20 AM
A hairdryer from me bruv's ex - hadn't seen her for months and she didn't know I had shaved my head...

You could pass it on to Barman for Christmas  point:

How unkind!

This is what he needs.

http://www.clinico.co.uk/restorit.asp (http://www.clinico.co.uk/restorit.asp)
To drink or rub on my head?  rubschin:
Definitely
Oh...  noooo:
Title: Re: Worst pressie?
Post by: Darwins Selection on December 02, 2007, 12:53:02 AM
Christmas pudding, "Best before December 20th" ? doh:
Title: Re: Worst pressie?
Post by: Pastis on December 02, 2007, 07:15:40 PM
It's a toss up between the purple, nylon shirt circa 1969 when it was sooo fashionable  ::) and the Marquetry set when some batty relation heard that I had an inclination for the creative arts...  surrender:

Happily now I seldom receive any pressies  cloud9:  Apart from an envelope from an ageing aunt who's going do-lally and adds too many noughts on the cheque  eeek:  which then entails phone calls questioning her generosity and almost obsequious thank yous and tearing up of the enclosures  cry:
Title: Re: Worst pressie?
Post by: Nick on December 03, 2007, 11:55:40 AM
It's Mrs Nick's birthday on Wednesday.

I have bought her.....




























...a new lawnmower! drumroll:
Title: Re: Worst pressie?
Post by: Bar Wench on December 03, 2007, 11:58:44 AM
So what are you getting her for Christmas then?
Title: Re: Worst pressie?
Post by: Nick on December 03, 2007, 12:01:01 PM
Extension lead.
Title: Re: Worst pressie?
Post by: Darwins Selection on December 03, 2007, 12:03:50 PM
So what are you getting her for Christmas then?
A taxi to the rectal surgery unit to watch the lawnmower being removed?
Title: Re: Worst pressie?
Post by: grumpyoldsoldier on December 03, 2007, 11:22:34 PM
A Thomas the Tank engine cover for my sleeping bag
Title: Re: Worst pressie?
Post by: Darwins Selection on December 03, 2007, 11:30:35 PM
A Thomas the Tank engine cover for my sleeping bag

I take it you were more than 7 years old at the time?
Title: Re: Worst pressie?
Post by: grumpyoldsoldier on December 04, 2007, 12:26:28 AM
 noooo:
Title: Re: Worst pressie?
Post by: Nick on December 05, 2007, 09:58:42 AM
Mrs Nick was very pleased with the lawnmower. SHe was not impressed by my mean sister's gift of a box of Bic biros! eeek:
Title: Re: Worst pressie?
Post by: Barman on December 05, 2007, 10:10:53 AM
I'd have thought your worst pressie was waking up to find the dentist wiping saliva from his chin!  point:
Title: Re: Worst pressie?
Post by: Nick on December 05, 2007, 10:36:03 AM
 eeek:
Title: Re: Worst pressie?
Post by: grumpyoldsoldier on December 05, 2007, 12:02:53 PM
OMG! Gross or what?   razz:
Title: Re: Worst pressie?
Post by: Nick on December 05, 2007, 12:03:25 PM
The box of biros?
Title: Re: Worst pressie?
Post by: grumpyoldsoldier on December 05, 2007, 12:13:30 PM
 drumroll:
Title: Re: Worst pressie?
Post by: Darwins Selection on December 05, 2007, 12:20:25 PM
At the rate we lose Biros, a box of 144 would be very handy.
Title: Re: Worst pressie?
Post by: grumpyoldsoldier on December 05, 2007, 04:17:04 PM
Is there such a thing as a Biro Graveyard where biro's go to die? I have yet to see an empty biro, they just disappear
Title: Re: Worst pressie?
Post by: Darwins Selection on December 05, 2007, 04:37:28 PM
Is there such a thing as a Biro Graveyard where biro's go to die? I have yet to see an empty biro, they just disappear

It is a spiritual thing. When a Biro passes on, the spirit and the body pass on to ball-point Heaven.

Until the mid 20th century, the Fountain movement was dominant and they would pass away, hiding in the backs of desk drawers. This was latterly outlawed in an encyclical from their leader (Known as "His Nibs", a term which survives to this day).

As the Biros grew in popularity, the Provisional Fountains formed a splinter sect of suicide pens which would martyr themselves in the pockets of students in an attempt to put blame on the Biros.

I still have a blazer which bears the stigmata of a ritual Fountain sacrifice.

In more recent years, the Gel movement has become dominant, and they are much more human. If you leave them uncapped, they will expire and the spirit will leave the body very quickly.
Title: Re: Worst pressie?
Post by: grumpyoldsoldier on December 05, 2007, 04:43:26 PM
Yeh ok!








ask a simple question ......
Title: Re: Worst pressie?
Post by: Barman on December 05, 2007, 04:49:32 PM
Is there such a thing as a Biro Graveyard where biro's go to die? I have yet to see an empty biro, they just disappear

It is a spiritual thing. When a Biro passes on, the spirit and the body pass on to ball-point Heaven.

Until the mid 20th century, the Fountain movement was dominant and they would pass away, hiding in the backs of desk drawers. This was latterly outlawed in an encyclical from their leader (Known as "His Nibs", a term which survives to this day).

As the Biros grew in popularity, the Provisional Fountains formed a splinter sect of suicide pens which would martyr themselves in the pockets of students in an attempt to put blame on the Biros.

I still have a blazer which bears the stigmata of a ritual Fountain sacrifice.

In more recent years, the Gel movement has become dominant, and they are much more human. If you leave them uncapped, they will expire and the spirit will leave the body very quickly.
lol:  happ096
Title: Re: Worst pressie?
Post by: grumpyoldsoldier on December 05, 2007, 04:54:36 PM
I hate these learning experiences Banghead
Title: Re: Worst pressie?
Post by: Snoopy on December 05, 2007, 04:58:37 PM
I hate these learning experiences Banghead


Garn ~ it's wot you come here for.