The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: GROWLER on May 13, 2007, 05:10:07 PM

Title: I HATE keys.
Post by: GROWLER on May 13, 2007, 05:10:07 PM
Have they got a mind of their own?

Picked up the keys for 'THE BEAST' , to enable me to shift it into the refrigeration container.
Get there in the pissing rain, rummage, rummage, rummage, and they've gone. eeek:

Must have left them at home i thinks to myself.

No. Not here either, but haven't looked in the fridge yet. ::)

WHY?
Title: Re: I HATE keys.
Post by: Uncle Mort on May 14, 2007, 07:50:39 AM
A very worrying post.  eeek:

<Backs away very slowly>
Title: Re: I HATE keys.
Post by: Barman on May 14, 2007, 08:05:09 AM
A very worrying post.  eeek:

<Backs away very slowly>
Not slowly Uncle... RUN!
Title: Re: I HATE keys.
Post by: GROWLER on May 14, 2007, 08:23:21 AM
Best scouse accent mode> WHY? ::)
I've only lost my keys, and I still haven't found them either! evil:
Title: Re: I HATE keys.
Post by: Barman on May 14, 2007, 08:26:45 AM
Best scouse accent mode> WHY? ::)
I've only lost my keys, and I still haven't found them either! evil:
Did you look in the fridge?  whistle:
Title: Re: I HATE keys.
Post by: Uncle Mort on May 14, 2007, 08:31:13 AM
Picked up the keys for 'THE BEAST' , to enable me to shift it into the refrigeration container.
No. Not here either, but haven't looked in the fridge yet. ::)

Perhaps if you elaborated on this I wouldn't be so worried.
Title: Re: I HATE keys.
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 14, 2007, 08:32:34 AM
I had no idea Scousers knew about keys.

Cars are started with dangling bunches of wire and doors opened with bolt cutters, or reversing the aforementioned car through them?

This site is a real education.
Title: Re: I HATE keys.
Post by: Barman on May 14, 2007, 08:36:49 AM
I had no idea Scousers knew about keys.

Cars are started with dangling bunches of wire and doors opened with bolt cutters, or reversing the aforementioned car through them?

This site is a real education.
lol: lol: lol:

I think perhaps he is just talking about the keys to throw us off the scent?
Title: Re: I HATE keys.
Post by: GROWLER on May 14, 2007, 09:05:22 AM
I had no idea Scousers knew about keys.

Cars are started with dangling bunches of wire and doors opened with bolt cutters, or reversing the aforementioned car through them?

This site is a real education.


I NEVER said I was a scouser did I?


Yes, I have looked in the fridge, but only found the cuff links I lost 15 years ago. Didn't like them anyway, so I've put them back in the freezer compartment with the bag of mixed veg that have also been in there for 15 years ::)
Title: Re: I HATE keys.
Post by: GROWLER on May 14, 2007, 09:08:54 AM
Picked up the keys for 'THE BEAST' , to enable me to shift it into the refrigeration container.
No. Not here either, but haven't looked in the fridge yet. ::)

Perhaps if you elaborated on this I wouldn't be so worried.


Ask Nick. He'll elaborate. I'm too tired to even think now tbh.
Blame H eLL bay. That's another grump though evil:
Title: Re: I HATE keys.
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 14, 2007, 10:02:29 AM
I had no idea Scousers knew about keys.
Cars are started with dangling bunches of wire and doors opened with bolt cutters, or reversing the aforementioned car through them?
This site is a real education.

I NEVER said I was a scouser did I?



Errr. . .  rubschin:

Best scouse accent mode> WHY? ::)
Title: Re: I HATE keys.
Post by: CJ on May 14, 2007, 12:22:32 PM
Quote from: GROWLER link=topic=217. msg2294#msg2294 date=1179133522
I NEVER said I was a scouser did I?

Agreed, Scousers have a sense of humour. . . . . . 
Title: Re: I HATE keys.
Post by: Bar Room Bore on May 14, 2007, 01:43:43 PM
Mrs Bore and I keep our keys in a small box which prevents them getting tangled. We eschew key rings on religious grounds, hers rather than mine, but I find it best to go along with her in these matters.
Title: Re: I HATE keys.
Post by: Misunderstood on May 14, 2007, 02:21:40 PM
Mrs Bore and I keep our keys in a small box which prevents them getting tangled. We eschew key rings on religious grounds, hers rather than mine, but I find it best to go along with her in these matters.

How on earth does keeping them in a box stop them tangling?

Last time I tried that I picked one key and every single damn key in the box came out attached to it.

I decided that there was too many keys on my ring and so I had the bright idea of mastering them.
Cost me a fortune about six years ago and has had the effect of reducing the keys on my ring from eleven to nine!
 confused1:
Title: Re: I HATE keys.
Post by: Bar Room Bore on May 14, 2007, 02:28:52 PM
We only have one key each.
Title: Re: I HATE keys.
Post by: Barman on May 14, 2007, 02:29:35 PM
Mrs Bore and I keep our keys in a small box which prevents them getting tangled. We eschew key rings on religious grounds, hers rather than mine, but I find it best to go along with her in these matters.

How on earth does keeping them in a box stop them tangling?

Last time I tried that I picked one key and every single damn key in the box came out attached to it.

I decided that there was too many keys on my ring and so I had the bright idea of mastering them.
Cost me a fortune about six years ago and has had the effect of reducing the keys on my ring from eleven to nine!
 confused1:
You are a prison warden ? I claim my ?5 prize.  whistle:
Title: Re: I HATE keys.
Post by: Misunderstood on May 14, 2007, 02:32:00 PM
We only have one key each.



eeek:

Where is the grossly astonished emoticon when you need it?
Title: Re: I HATE keys.
Post by: Bar Wench on May 14, 2007, 02:56:29 PM
Mr Wench and I only have two each.
Title: Re: I HATE keys.
Post by: Misunderstood on May 14, 2007, 02:59:32 PM
Mr Wench and I only have two each.

 eeek:

Where is the REALLY grossly astonished emoticon when you need it?
Title: Re: I HATE keys.
Post by: Bar Wench on May 14, 2007, 03:05:40 PM
How many keys do you have then?
Title: Re: I HATE keys.
Post by: Barman on May 14, 2007, 03:05:58 PM
Mr Wench and I only have two each.

 eeek:

Where is the REALLY grossly astonished emoticon when you need it?
This one?  shocked003
Title: Re: I HATE keys.
Post by: Bar Wench on May 14, 2007, 03:07:01 PM
Ohhhhhhh that's a keeper!
Title: Re: I HATE keys.
Post by: Misunderstood on May 14, 2007, 05:49:34 PM
How many keys do you have then?

It depends which bunch you mean.... :)
Title: Re: I HATE keys.
Post by: Bar Wench on May 15, 2007, 08:22:42 AM
Good grief.
Title: Re: I HATE keys.
Post by: GROWLER on May 15, 2007, 09:23:21 AM
I still haven't found them, and if I get asked one more time..........."where did you last see them", or "when did you last have them" or " are you sure you've checked you pockets properly"?...... whacky007
Title: Re: I HATE keys.
Post by: Barman on May 15, 2007, 09:26:09 AM
I still haven't found them, and if I get asked one more time..........."where did you last see them", or "when did you last have them" or " are you sure you've checked you pockets properly"?...... whacky007
Well, have some comfort in the fact that they?ll be in the last place you look.  drumroll:
Title: Re: I HATE keys.
Post by: Misunderstood on May 15, 2007, 09:54:12 AM
I still haven't found them, and if I get asked one more time..........."where did you last see them", or "when did you last have them" or " are you sure you've checked you pockets properly"?...... whacky007
Well, have some comfort in the fact that they?ll be in the last place you look.  drumroll:

Oh Yeah!  I remember now what the point of this thread was.  (OI! Where's my silly grin gone?)

Title: Re: I HATE keys.
Post by: Barman on May 15, 2007, 09:55:52 AM
I still haven't found them, and if I get asked one more time..........."where did you last see them", or "when did you last have them" or " are you sure you've checked you pockets properly"?...... whacky007
Well, have some comfort in the fact that they?ll be in the last place you look.  drumroll:

Oh Yeah!  I remember now what the point of this thread was.  (OI! Where's my silly grin gone?)


Wiped off your face!  point:
Title: Re: I HATE keys.
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 15, 2007, 10:18:19 AM
" are you sure you've checked you pockets properly"?
I bet you have.

What did he have in them? ;)
Title: Re: I HATE keys.
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 15, 2007, 05:17:12 PM
I still haven't found them, and if I get asked one more time..........."where did you last see them", or "when did you last have them" or " are you sure you've checked you pockets properly"?...... whacky007

You want one of those whistling keyring doohickeys, as long as you dont mind looking like a berk walking round wolf whistling and waiting for a reply. 
Title: Re: I HATE keys.
Post by: Pastis on May 15, 2007, 06:10:04 PM
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.apollonia.cz%2Fimages%2Fh1.gif&hash=259364485181a10039b7751012bd6ef7491eb90d)

Perhaps... at the dentist... ?

It's amazing what you come across whilst looking for better priced dental treatment overseas
Title: Re: I HATE keys.
Post by: GROWLER on May 15, 2007, 08:12:18 PM
Gorem!  angel1
Title: Re: I HATE keys.
Post by: Nick on May 15, 2007, 08:15:29 PM
Where were they then?
Title: Re: I HATE keys.
Post by: GROWLER on May 15, 2007, 08:26:10 PM
Can't remember. redface:
Title: Re: I HATE keys.
Post by: Barman on May 16, 2007, 05:38:48 AM
Can't remember. redface:
I guarantee they were in the last place you looked ? just like I said.  point:

You should have looked there first.
Title: Re: I HATE keys.
Post by: GROWLER on May 16, 2007, 08:15:32 AM
Can't find the mobby phone now. ::)
 It's ringing but I can't hear it. Banghead
Title: Re: I HATE keys.
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 16, 2007, 08:45:16 AM
Can't find the mobby phone now. ::)
 It's ringing but I can't hear it. Banghead
Trust me old chap, the senior moments just get closer together as the years pass. sad24:
Title: Re: I HATE keys.
Post by: Nick on May 16, 2007, 09:03:23 AM
Quote
It's ringing but I can't hear it.

I have thought about that about three times now, but I still don't get it noooo:
Title: Re: I HATE keys.
Post by: Uncle Mort on May 16, 2007, 09:26:20 AM
Quote
It's ringing but I can't hear it.

I have thought about that about three times now, but I still don't get it noooo:

He phoned his own number so he can hear it ringing through the phone he's using but not within earshot of where he is.

OK?
Title: Re: I HATE keys.
Post by: Nick on May 16, 2007, 09:27:49 AM
HOw do you know? Are you Mrs Growler in disguise?
Title: Re: I HATE keys.
Post by: Barman on May 16, 2007, 09:38:31 AM
Perhaps he?s left the ?phone in a vacuum?  whistle:
Title: Re: I HATE keys.
Post by: Uncle Mort on May 16, 2007, 09:41:22 AM
HOw do you know? Are you Mrs Growler in disguise?

I just applied a little logic.   
Title: Re: I HATE keys.
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 16, 2007, 09:44:35 AM
Perhaps he?s left the ?phone in a vacuum?  whistle:
Probably can't find the vacuum either.
Title: Re: I HATE keys.
Post by: Barman on May 16, 2007, 09:47:55 AM
Well, if the last place he looks for his keys is inside it he?ll have both.  happy088
Title: Re: I HATE keys.
Post by: GROWLER on May 16, 2007, 03:39:27 PM
HOw do you know? Are you Mrs Growler in disguise?

I just applied a little logic.   

Nick doesn't do logic. ::)

Name ONE thing that is logical about Nick, and I'll show me arse on the town hall steps at midday tomorrow....if I can find them ::)


Found it anyway. I'd left it in the car all night. Useless berk. WHY?
Title: Re: I HATE keys.
Post by: Nick on May 16, 2007, 03:41:28 PM
Arse, steps or phone. Or car. Or Town Hall?
Title: Re: I HATE keys.
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 16, 2007, 03:42:51 PM
Can't remember. redface:
I guarantee they were in the last place you looked ? just like I said.  point:

You should have looked there first.

You do realise that just to prove you wrong he'll look in at least one more place now.  eyes: