The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Bar Wench on October 09, 2007, 08:24:03 AM
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Well?
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I don't have a daughter - should I go with someone else's?
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What on earth is this about?
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You either need to know everything that your children are doing or you need to know nothing.
Anything in between leads to worry.
On balance I prefer the second option.
Or not have children ~ obviously.
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Haven't a clue.
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It's just a hypothetical question. whistle:
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It's just a hypothetical question. whistle:
cussing:
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Oh I see.
Poptastic?
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Oh I see.
Poptastic?
Precisely... whistle:
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Oh I see.
Poptastic?
Credtastic. ::)
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Oh Dear noooo:
From Loooooooooooooooooooooooong experience and since you can't send her back the best place for a father is about five paces behind, credit card in hand. Anything else is unwanted.
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Well, 'tis too late now and I'm going and that's that! cussing:
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Oh Dear noooo:
From Loooooooooooooooooooooooong experience and since you can't send her back the best place for a father is about five paces behind, credit card in hand. Anything else is unwanted.
Ahhh it's all clear. She wants him to pay for the night out!!! point:
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Oh Dear noooo:
From Loooooooooooooooooooooooong experience and since you can't send her back the best place for a father is about five paces behind, credit card in hand. Anything else is unwanted.
Ahhh it's all clear. She wants him to pay for the night out!!! point:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Femo%2Fangry016.gif&hash=af20a92f7066e8a9c12cb3839f79427cb93c2d10) (http://www.freesmileys.org)
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Oh Dear noooo:
From Loooooooooooooooooooooooong experience and since you can't send her back the best place for a father is about five paces behind, credit card in hand. Anything else is unwanted.
Ahhh it's all clear. She wants him to pay for the night out!!! point:
I should have thought that was bloody obvious. ::)
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So daughter, her intended and her work mates. That's going to be an expensive night out!!! point:
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Landlady will be worried!
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Actually from the information I have I believe that the friends are friends of the future son-in-laws - he who Barman has fondly referred to as 'slightly better than the pond scum she used to go out with' - with regard to going out with said daughters friends (of the obvious female variety) then I'm NOT so sure BM can be trusted not to humiliate said daughter as have 'fond' memories of the time he thought one of her friends was 'gay' and because she was a VERY sultry sexy blond bimbet he thought it a GOOD IDEA ::) to mention to them both that he was APPROVE ::) said daughter being 'gay' too redface: redface: redface:
Does 'Claire' ring a bell BM? shocked003
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What's the oppostie of Oedipal?
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What's the oppostie of Oedipal?
lapideO - in the mirror smile:
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Mirror mirror on the wall etc. point: point: point: point: point:
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Actually from the information I have I believe that the friends are friends of the future son-in-laws - he who Barman has fondly referred to as 'slightly better than the pond scum she used to go out with' - with regard to going out with said daughters friends (of the obvious female variety) then I'm NOT so sure BM can be trusted not to humiliate said daughter as have 'fond' memories of the time he thought one of her friends was 'gay' and because she was a VERY sultry sexy blond bimbet he thought it a GOOD IDEA ::) to mention to them both that he was APPROVE ::) said daughter being 'gay' too redface: redface: redface:
Does 'Claire' ring a bell BM? shocked003
He has mentioned that one of them is rather well endowed. eeek:
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Up or down?
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What's the oppostie of Oedipal?
I am given to understand that it is an Electra complex Nick.
So, the word you want is Electral - which may explain Grabber Brown's reluctance at the polls!
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Actually from the information I have I believe that the friends are friends of the future son-in-laws - he who Barman has fondly referred to as 'slightly better than the pond scum she used to go out with' - with regard to going out with said daughters friends (of the obvious female variety) then I'm NOT so sure BM can be trusted not to humiliate said daughter as have 'fond' memories of the time he thought one of her friends was 'gay' and because she was a VERY sultry sexy blond bimbet he thought it a GOOD IDEA ::) to mention to them both that he was APPROVE ::) said daughter being 'gay' too redface: redface: redface:
Does 'Claire' ring a bell BM? shocked003
He has mentioned that one of them is rather well endowed. eeek:
Wrong one in this instance - the well endowed friend (who is scheduled to be one of the bridesmaids at May 08 wedding) is Gemma, 36GG or something equally backbreaking eeek:
Claire - was a school chum of daughters. About 5' 2'', long blond hair, sort of gothic meets slut (in a nice way) make up, with an amazing gravelly voice..........Think she's now on some remote exotic island teaching yoga !
Then, just to drop BM in it further, there was the tall swedish friend of daughters, can't quite remember her name but 'perhaps' Bm can - who taught body pump (keep fit to music with bar bells ::)) - BM sooooooooooo impressed he used to go along to her classes, just to show support, of course ::) ::)
Mind you on thinking about it daughter also has some extremely tasty male friends eyes:
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Where to start?
36GG prolly. If you want to die by smothering noooo:
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It'snot Gemma ( o Y o ) point:
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there was the tall swedish friend of daughters, can't quite remember her name but 'perhaps' Bm can - who taught body pump (keep fit to music with bar bells ) - BM sooooooooooo impressed he used to go along to her classes, just to show support, of course
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm
BARMAN. Come out of there!
You may catch something!
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I personally take great pride in embarrasing BOTH my sons and daughter when I take them out. happy088
I explain to them when I do it, that it is simply PAY BACK time, for ALL the embarrasment they have caused me over the years.
Fanbloodytastic! lol:
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Grandchildren are even better .... once you have wound them up to hysteria pitch you give them back and your child has to suffer the fall-out.
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If I had a daughter ( of the right age ) and her friends wanted to change clothes in my garage ( the one with the spy hole ) I wouldnt mind whistle:
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If I had a daughter ( of the right age ) and her friends wanted to change clothes in my garage ( the one with the spy hole ) I wouldnt mind whistle:
How would you know if she had a spy-hole?
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If I had a daughter ( of the right age ) and her friends wanted to change clothes in my garage ( the one with the spy hole ) I wouldnt mind whistle:
How would you know if she had a spy-hole?
Euphemism #538829
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Now forgive me if I do this all wrong as I am a newbie to all of this. . . . . but having read all the posts regarding humiliating fathers (a large majority of which have made me titter at my PC!), I feel I need to post a response (feeling a little bit nervous and vulnerable about this, so be gentle with me! ::)).
Personally, I am immensely proud of my Dad and on the occassions that I've been out with him or he with me (even when he has been totally sh*t-faced) he has never humilated me. . . . . perhaps made me laugh out loud at his drunken dancing, but never humilated me!!!
My mother on the other hand. . . . . . . . . well, pole dancing down at my local night club to Frankie Goes to Hollywood "Relax" is certainly an experience (I'm probably just jealous as she was better than I was!!!)
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cloud9:
What do you think of THAT then Wenchy? point:
BTW you can only add emoticons when you have made ten posts... whistle:
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I just want to know how he keeps his wig on.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Femo%2Fdance004.gif&hash=9bf5c803d965238df855d03eedb45dc880941af1)
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cloud9:
What do you think of THAT then Wenchy? point:
BTW you can only add emoticons when you have made ten posts... whistle:
Knew you did Dad dancing!!! And you said you didn't!!! Good for her! And if you foot the bill all the better! ;)
It's just jealousy really that my old Dad isn't about anymore to humiliate me! sad24:
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I just want to know how he keeps his wig on.
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I do not have a wig! cussing:
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You can share my Dad Wench if you want. . . . . he's great!!!!
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You can share my Dad Wench if you want. . . . . he's great!!!!
cloud9:
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cloud9:
What do you think of THAT then Wenchy? point:
BTW you can only add emoticons when you have made ten posts... whistle:
Knew you did Dad dancing!!! And you said you didn't!!! Good for her! And if you foot the bill all the better! ;)
It's just jealousy really that my old Dad isn't about anymore to humiliate me! sad24:
I'm an orphan (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Femo%2Fsad010.gif&hash=9af7909a207e935c183038466c6771fbb5531a72)
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cloud9:
What do you think of THAT then Wenchy? point:
BTW you can only add emoticons when you have made ten posts... whistle:
Knew you did Dad dancing!!! And you said you didn't!!! Good for her! And if you foot the bill all the better! ;)
It's just jealousy really that my old Dad isn't about anymore to humiliate me! sad24:
I'm an orphan (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Femo%2Fsad010.gif&hash=9af7909a207e935c183038466c6771fbb5531a72)
happy100 you can share me too... whistle:
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You can share my Dad Wench if you want. . . . . he's great!!!!
Oh bless! You're a sweetie!!! See BM you are going to adopt me! :) Now where shall I forward tat mountain to? I need to make room for wispas!!! eveilgrin:
Snoops, I'm practically an orphan one dead parent and one expat does not a terribly parented person make! sad24:
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Does this mean I get to share LL as well eyes:
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Think of all the Xmas pressies I'll get... cloud9:
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Does this mean I get to share LL as well eyes:
No it bloody doesn't... dirty little sod! Angry9:
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This is our first row Dad. lol:
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This is our first row Dad. lol:
Ah yes... cloud9:
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Think of all the Xmas pressies I'll get... cloud9:
The bottle of McWankers whistle: whisky is all yours! point:
I also hear that you and Mum throw a good wedding! I was thinking next year, perhaps Augustish? You can forward the cheques to www.awenchisntjustforchristmas.com
;)
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Think of all the Xmas pressies I'll get... cloud9:
The bottle of McWankers whistle: whisky is all yours! point:
I also hear that you and Mum throw a good wedding! I was thinking next year, perhaps Augustish? You can forward the cheques to www.awenchisntjustforchristmas.com
;)
rubschin: We'll have some left over sausage rolls and stuff actually… rubschin:
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If I were you Wenchy I'd insist on Paypal ~ he can stop a cheque
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If I were you Wenchy I'd insist on Paypal ~ he can stop a cheque
How very dare you? cussing:
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If I were you Wenchy I'd insist on Paypal ~ he can stop a cheque
Good thinking!
Send money to sucker@awenchisntjustforchristmas.com
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Oh OK. Family. scared2:
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Oh OK. Family. scared2:
Indeed... Shall I adopt you too? whistle:
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I am not cheap!
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I am not cheap!
Not like the other two then? noooo:
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My mother on the other hand. . . . . . . . . well, pole dancing down at my local night club to Frankie Goes to Hollywood "Relax" is certainly an experience (I'm probably just jealous as she was better than I was!!!)
Snitch cussing:
What ever happened to 'what goes on tour stays on tour' Angry9:
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Oh OK. Family. scared2:
Indeed... Shall I adopt you too? whistle:
Two new children - well three including Captain Calamity I guess - and for once the child birth was painless ::)
Guess we'll have to re-write the wills then BM ?
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Oh OK. Family. scared2:
Indeed... Shall I adopt you too? whistle:
Two new children - well three including Captain Calamity I guess - and for once the child birth was painless ::)
Guess we'll have to re-write the wills then BM ?
Let me think..... rubschin:
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All these new people you're adopting. . . . does that mean I get less presents at Christmas?!
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All these new people you're adopting. . . . does that mean I get less presents at Christmas?!
Nooooo... but I will get lots more! eveilgrin:
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Are you also in the market for a Godfather?
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fia.media-imdb.com%2Fmedia%2Fimdb%2F01%2FI%2F09%2F96%2F46m.jpg&hash=cb4569d03a37803cd36219ffad4d6f60b1603afe)
freddy:
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Are you also in the market for a Godfather?
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fia.media-imdb.com%2Fmedia%2Fimdb%2F01%2FI%2F09%2F96%2F46m.jpg&hash=cb4569d03a37803cd36219ffad4d6f60b1603afe)
freddy:
Free turkey at Christmas? If so I could be in the market for one.
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Are you also in the market for a Godfather?
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fia.media-imdb.com%2Fmedia%2Fimdb%2F01%2FI%2F09%2F96%2F46m.jpg&hash=cb4569d03a37803cd36219ffad4d6f60b1603afe)
freddy:
Free turkey at Christmas? If so I could be in the market for one.
And parsnips too! cloud9:
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Are you also in the market for a Godfather?
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fia.media-imdb.com%2Fmedia%2Fimdb%2F01%2FI%2F09%2F96%2F46m.jpg&hash=cb4569d03a37803cd36219ffad4d6f60b1603afe)
freddy:
Free turkey at Christmas? If so I could be in the market for one.
And parsnips too! cloud9:
Bloody Hell! That reminds me ...... I nearly forgot to put the sprouts on ~ and what would Christmas Lunch be like without sprouts?
Thanks folks ~ near disaster averted in the nick of err .. I mean .. Just in time
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Are you also in the market for a Godfather?
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fia.media-imdb.com%2Fmedia%2Fimdb%2F01%2FI%2F09%2F96%2F46m.jpg&hash=cb4569d03a37803cd36219ffad4d6f60b1603afe)
freddy:
Free turkey at Christmas? If so I could be in the market for one.
And parsnips too! cloud9:
Oh no... its turnips isn't it? noooo:
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Are you also in the market for a Godfather?
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fia.media-imdb.com%2Fmedia%2Fimdb%2F01%2FI%2F09%2F96%2F46m.jpg&hash=cb4569d03a37803cd36219ffad4d6f60b1603afe)
freddy:
Free turkey at Christmas? If so I could be in the market for one.
And parsnips too! cloud9:
Oh no... its turnips isn't it? noooo:
You won't know the difference. whistle:
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What about mangel wurzels?
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What about mangel wurzels?
Wurzel is recovered now.
He won't stand that close to the beet-crusher again. scared2:
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What about mangel wurzels?
Wurzel is recovered now.
He won't stand that close to the beet-crusher again. scared2:
drumroll:
On form today Mr. Darwin!
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Right, I’m just off to humiliate or not… be good you lot and keep Darwin away from the till… whistle:
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Right, I’m just off to humiliate or not… be good you lot and keep Darwin away from the till… whistle:
Go sock it to the young ones BM ::)
What ever you tell us Miss Piggy will tell us the truth of it later on eyes:
Enjoy and don't worry about a thing scared2:
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Right, I’m just off to humiliate or not… be good you lot and keep Darwin away from the till… whistle:
Sure you won't Barman!!!
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Is he meeting them there? Or is he scared2: coming to Epsom? scared2:
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Is he meeting them there? Or is he scared2: coming to Epsom? scared2:
It's on the way to Surrey for him whistle:
Have you set those special mine traps on the M25 we discussed eyes:
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Is he meeting them there? Or is he scared2: coming to Epsom? scared2:
It's on the way to Surrey for him whistle:
Have you set those special mine traps on the M25 we discussed eyes:
Of course. eveilgrin:
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Is he meeting them there? Or is he scared2: coming to Epsom? scared2:
It's on the way to Surrey for him whistle:
Have you set those special mine traps on the M25 we discussed eyes:
Of course. eveilgrin:
Splendid - off to brush the dust off the insurance policies then - 50/50 split okay eyes:
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Right, I’m just off to humiliate or not… be good you lot and keep Darwin away from the till… whistle:
I have already decided to start "Happy Hour" a bit earlier, and maybe extend it a bit.
Wench was in agreement I think, she was eating a Wispa at the time but her bulging eyes and purple face when I suggested it, appeared to be assent. ;D
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Right, I’m just off to humiliate or not… be good you lot and keep Darwin away from the till… whistle:
I have already decided to start "Happy Hour" a bit earlier, and maybe extend it a bit.
Wench was in agreement I think, she was eating a Wispa at the time but her bulging eyes and purple face when I suggested it, appeared to be assent. ;D
Wenchy and I are off out ourselves now - bucket and mop in the usual corner Mr. D whistle:
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Is he meeting them there? Or is he scared2: coming to Epsom? scared2:
It's on the way to Surrey for him whistle:
Have you set those special mine traps on the M25 we discussed eyes:
Of course. eveilgrin:
Splendid - off to brush the dust off the insurance policies then - 50/50 split okay eyes:
Absolutely, and you have the details for my HSBC account. eveilgrin:
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Is he meeting them there? Or is he scared2: coming to Epsom? scared2:
It's on the way to Surrey for him whistle:
Have you set those special mine traps on the M25 we discussed eyes:
Of course. eveilgrin:
Splendid - off to brush the dust off the insurance policies then - 50/50 split okay eyes:
Absolutely, and you have the details for my HSBC account. eveilgrin:
So do I. eyes:
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Ahem…
We had a great evening thank you… survived the M25 and got to Epsom early… caught the train to Clapham and went to Jongleurs…
Excellent evening of comedy, great company (especially me). cloud9:
The only embarrassment was a work colleague pouring a jug of beer over my leg (twice) instead of into his glass and another pouring her glass of wine all over the table. whistle:
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Ahhh so it wasn't Kingston then!!
Jongleurs is a great place. We are often there. The cocktails are very good. As is the comedy. Wonder if the two are linked. rubschin:
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Ahhh so it wasn't Kingston then!!
Jongleurs is a great place. We are often there. The cocktails are very good. As is the comedy. Wonder if the two are linked. rubschin:
It is an accepted fact that alcohol intake makes most things much funnier/entertaining ...... for a while anyway.
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Ahhh so it wasn't Kingston then!!
Jongleurs is a great place. We are often there. The cocktails are very good. As is the comedy. Wonder if the two are linked. rubschin:
I’m sure it wasn’t the booze as the compare and four of the acts were excellent while the one after the break was shite (IMHO).
Brilliant show, I haven’t laughed so much since… um… I can’t remember. redface:
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We were there once and there was this poor bloke who was on near the end and he didn't get a single laugh. Was awful. redface:
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Prolly a drunk from the audience ~ most places seem to let them "have a go" towards the end of the evening.
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We were there once and there was this poor bloke who was on near the end and he didn't get a single laugh. Was awful. redface:
The poor sod was probably just there to sweep up… ::)
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We were there once and there was this poor bloke who was on near the end and he didn't get a single laugh. Was awful. redface:
The poor sod was probably just there to sweep up… ::)
Or on latrine duty sick2: