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Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Barman on October 04, 2007, 07:52:01 AM

Title: Maggots
Post by: Barman on October 04, 2007, 07:52:01 AM
What disgusting, slithey creatures they are!  cussing:

All you do is leave half a steak ‘n kidney pie in the microwave to cool down for, um a week or so and the next thing you know it is infested with the disgusting creatures…  whistle:

And the smell!  sick2:

I fear Mrs. Barman will never use the infernal machine again…  noooo:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Bar Wench on October 04, 2007, 07:57:49 AM
I certainly wouldn't.  sick2:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Snoopy on October 04, 2007, 07:59:27 AM
Great Fishing Bait
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: GROWLER on October 04, 2007, 08:11:23 AM
Leave the door open did we? rubschin:
How come the stench didn't reach you for a week? eeek:

Maggots are actually very clean creatures IIRC, but I very unfortunately had to deal with them when BOTH of our pet wabbits were struck down with 'Fly Strike' last year. Both died as a consequence. sad32:
Not nice, not nice at all. sick2:

Just gerrit cleaned out BM. Bit of disinfectant and bleach, good rinse, and you'll soon be serving us pies in the bar again. eeek:

Reminds me. Must dig out me life policy. whistle:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Nick on October 04, 2007, 08:12:14 AM
What disgusting, slithey creatures they are!  cussing:

All you do is leave half a steak ‘n kidney pie in the microwave to cool down for, um a week or so and the next thing you know it is infested with the disgusting creatures…  whistle:

And the smell!  sick2:

I fear Mrs. Barman will never use the infernal machine again…  noooo:

We've all done it! noooo:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Snoopy on October 04, 2007, 08:13:23 AM
Clean indeed. Many fishermen sit on the river bank with a few in their mouths to get them warm and wriggling before putting them on the hook.

Stands back and waits for Wenchy to vomit.
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: GROWLER on October 04, 2007, 08:13:45 AM
What disgusting, slithey creatures they are!  cussing:

All you do is leave half a steak ‘n kidney pie in the microwave to cool down for, um a week or so and the next thing you know it is infested with the disgusting creatures…  whistle:

And the smell!  sick2:

I fear Mrs. Barman will never use the infernal machine again…  noooo:

We've all done it! noooo:
No we haven't. noooo:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: tel on October 04, 2007, 08:14:07 AM
Nothing wrong with maggots, unless you leave them in a bait box, in the she for a week, in 80+ temp!
Then you you'll know how bad something can smell. sick2: sick2: sick2:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Nick on October 04, 2007, 08:14:22 AM
Clean indeed. Many fishermen sit on the river bank with a few in their mouths to get them warm and wriggling before putting them on the hook.

Stands back and waits for Wenchy to vomit.

I've heard that too! sick2:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: tel on October 04, 2007, 08:15:03 AM
Clean indeed. Many fishermen sit on the river bank with a few in their mouths to get them warm and wriggling before putting them on the hook.

Stands back and waits for Wenchy to vomit.

I've never ever seen anybody do that. Well not in the beautiful south anyway.
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Snoopy on October 04, 2007, 08:15:53 AM
Nothing wrong with maggots, unless you leave them in a bait box, in the she for a week, in 80+ temp!
Then you you'll know how bad something can smell. sick2: sick2: sick2:

I did that once and when I opened the bait box most had turned into flies.
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: tel on October 04, 2007, 08:17:28 AM
Nothing wrong with maggots, unless you leave them in a bait box, in the she for a week, in 80+ temp!
Then you you'll know how bad something can smell. sick2: sick2: sick2:

I did that once and when I opened the bait box most had turned into flies.

It's when they die. After producing vast amounts of ammonia, they coagulate into a horrible jelly-like mass.
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: GROWLER on October 04, 2007, 08:19:00 AM
It's what they look like, how they move, and knowing they've come out of a flys' bottom that makes them appear so repulsive.

My MIL served Miss GROWLER some stale bread/toast a few weeks ago apparently....AFTER scraping most of the green fungus off it. sick2:

I kicked off that she was trying to poison her, only to be told that it can't do you any harm. This is allegedly true too. eeek:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Nick on October 04, 2007, 08:21:49 AM
I like mushrooms shrugs:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Barman on October 04, 2007, 08:22:20 AM
The stench as disgusting and most of the pie was ruined too…  noooo:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: GROWLER on October 04, 2007, 08:24:15 AM
most of the pie was ruined too…  noooo:

But the bit that wasn't will be available this lunch time I presume? whistle:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Barman on October 04, 2007, 08:25:44 AM
most of the pie was ruined too…  noooo:

But the bit that wasn't will be available this lunch time I presume? whistle:
I'll warm it up for you shall I?  whistle:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Snoopy on October 04, 2007, 08:26:21 AM
They can be beneficial too.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/health/features/article1499049.ece
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 04, 2007, 08:38:46 AM
What disgusting, slithey creatures they are!  cussing:

All you do is leave half a steak ‘n kidney pie in the microwave to cool down for, um a week or so and the next thing you know it is infested with the disgusting creatures…  whistle:

30 seconds on Full Power stops them wriggling and makes them easier to pick out of the pie before eating.
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on October 04, 2007, 08:40:44 AM
What disgusting, slithey creatures they are!  cussing:

All you do is leave half a steak ‘n kidney pie in the microwave to cool down for, um a week or so and the next thing you know it is infested with the disgusting creatures…  whistle:

30 seconds on Full Power stops them wriggling and makes them easier to pick out of the pie before eating.

Why pick them out? After 30 secs on full power they should be nicely cooked! Extra protein!

In the Oz outback they eat a larger variant - something called a Wichety Grub (sp?) IIRC. Saw something about it on some wildlife programme about bush tucker.
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 04, 2007, 08:45:01 AM
What disgusting, slithey creatures they are!  cussing:

All you do is leave half a steak ‘n kidney pie in the microwave to cool down for, um a week or so and the next thing you know it is infested with the disgusting creatures…  whistle:

30 seconds on Full Power stops them wriggling and makes them easier to pick out of the pie before eating.

Why pick them out? After 30 secs on full power they should be nicely cooked! Extra protein!

In the Oz outback they eat a larger variant - something called a Wichety Grub (sp?) IIRC. Saw something about it on some wildlife programme about bush tucker.
Silly boy!

"Pick them out before eating" referred to the maggots.

Surely you don't think I intended poor Barman to eat stale, week-old pie do you? sick2:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: The Moan Ranger on October 04, 2007, 08:52:40 AM
When I was younger and used to fish the Thames at Hampton Court bridge, much mirth was had with maggots. One of the main irritations in fishing there was open top pleasure boats that came past too close to the river bank, forcing a rapid withdrawal of tackle ( 8)). In these instances, the catapault would be loaded with a full cup of maggots and they would be fired into the offending craft.

Such fun watching chinless toffs in silly hats leaping round a boat screaming obscenities. Happy days.  cloud9:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Grumpmeister on October 04, 2007, 06:18:24 PM
Clean indeed. Many fishermen sit on the river bank with a few in their mouths to get them warm and wriggling before putting them on the hook.

Stands back and waits for Wenchy to vomit.

Watching maggot therapy is something that I wouldnt recommend just after lunch.  sick2:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Barman on October 05, 2007, 06:37:24 AM
It still stinks...  noooo:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Snoopy on October 05, 2007, 08:46:58 AM
It still stinks...  noooo:

Given that you can buy a new microwave in the UK for under $20 throw it out and get a new one. That's the only way LL will be happy.
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Bar Wench on October 05, 2007, 08:51:58 AM
It still stinks...  noooo:

The microwave?

If so, cut a lemon in half and lightly squeeze it putting juice and halves into a microwave proof bowl, add 1tsp of bicarbonate of soda, some cloves and a cinamon stick. Nuke it for a bit and it stops the microwave smelling.
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 05, 2007, 08:54:27 AM
It still stinks...  noooo:

The microwave?

If so, cut a lemon in half and lightly squeeze it putting juice and halves into a microwave proof bowl, add 1tsp of bicarbonate of soda, some cloves and a cinamon stick. Nuke it for a bit and it stops the microwave smelling.
What did you leave in yours to discover that tip?
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Bar Wench on October 05, 2007, 08:56:03 AM
Fish.  eeek:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 05, 2007, 08:59:50 AM
Fish.  eeek:
doh: whacky115
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Bar Wench on October 05, 2007, 09:00:44 AM
Fish.  eeek:
doh: whacky115

To be fair it was only over night. But Mr Wench had a paddy. I couldn't even smell the bloody stuff.
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Snoopy on October 05, 2007, 09:06:29 AM
We do that with both of our MWave on a weekly basis as it not only deoderises them but also the resultant steam condenses on the inside of the MWave and when wiped off with a piece of paper kitchen towel will leave the machine gleaming.

Why two MWaves? 'Cos one is an all singing, all dancing, combi job that can cook a complete meal and the other is a £19.99 one used to heat things through for consumption by those who are late for their meals through various extra curricular activities.
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Bar Wench on October 05, 2007, 09:12:09 AM
Ohhh a combi job. I'd love one of those!!

What magic potion do you/Mrs S prefer?
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Barman on October 05, 2007, 09:22:07 AM
It still stinks...  noooo:

The microwave?

If so, cut a lemon in half and lightly squeeze it putting juice and halves into a microwave proof bowl, add 1tsp of bicarbonate of soda, some cloves and a cinamon stick. Nuke it for a bit and it stops the microwave smelling.
Sounds like some explosive mixture that Nick would concoct...  noooo:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Bar Wench on October 05, 2007, 09:28:49 AM
It still stinks...  noooo:

The microwave?

If so, cut a lemon in half and lightly squeeze it putting juice and halves into a microwave proof bowl, add 1tsp of bicarbonate of soda, some cloves and a cinamon stick. Nuke it for a bit and it stops the microwave smelling.
Sounds like some explosive mixture that Nick would concoct...  noooo:

You do have to keep an eye on it, but it does work. Save you having to buy a new microwave.
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Barman on October 05, 2007, 09:30:23 AM
It still stinks...  noooo:

The microwave?

If so, cut a lemon in half and lightly squeeze it putting juice and halves into a microwave proof bowl, add 1tsp of bicarbonate of soda, some cloves and a cinamon stick. Nuke it for a bit and it stops the microwave smelling.
Sounds like some explosive mixture that Nick would concoct...  noooo:

You do have to keep an eye on it, but it does work. Save you having to buy a new microwave.
I hope so... Ours is an all singing, all dancing, combi job that can cook a complete meal too...  noooo:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Snoopy on October 05, 2007, 09:31:21 AM
Ohhh a combi job. I'd love one of those!!

What magic potion do you/Mrs S prefer?

TBH it gets little use these days ~ we seem to be having a "Slow cooker" season at the moment and there is talk of an electric frying pan  eeek:

Though she does make soap in the M/wave .................. and that is another story for PM and not on here.
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Bar Wench on October 05, 2007, 09:32:31 AM
Love the slow cooker!!!

Mr Wench dreads it though. The ever expanding grey stew incident is still too close for comfort.  redface:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Uncle Mort on October 05, 2007, 09:38:08 AM
Love the slow cooker!!!

Mr Wench dreads it though. The ever expanding grey stew incident is still too close for comfort.  redface:


Didn't it get a bit part in a Quatermass film?
   
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 05, 2007, 10:03:17 AM
Love the slow cooker!!!

Mr Wench dreads it though. The ever expanding grey stew incident is still too close for comfort.  redface:


Didn't it get a bit part in a Quatermass film?
   

The star role I think. ;D



Snoopy: Soap, in the microwave? whacky115
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 05, 2007, 10:15:14 AM
Though she does make soap in the M/wave .

Mmmm... A nice warming bowl of tomato soap on a Winters day.  cloud9:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Snoopy on October 05, 2007, 10:19:25 AM
 ::)
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Barman on October 06, 2007, 05:47:13 AM
It still stinks...  noooo:

The microwave?

If so, cut a lemon in half and lightly squeeze it putting juice and halves into a microwave proof bowl, add 1tsp of bicarbonate of soda, some cloves and a cinamon stick. Nuke it for a bit and it stops the microwave smelling.
Sounds like some explosive mixture that Nick would concoct...  noooo:

You do have to keep an eye on it, but it does work. Save you having to buy a new microwave.
Mrs Barman was planning to bet bicarb on the way back from the airport and give it a go!  scared2:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Landlady on October 06, 2007, 07:12:26 AM
It still stinks...  noooo:

The microwave?

If so, cut a lemon in half and lightly squeeze it putting juice and halves into a microwave proof bowl, add 1tsp of bicarbonate of soda, some cloves and a cinamon stick. Nuke it for a bit and it stops the microwave smelling.
Sounds like some explosive mixture that Nick would concoct...  noooo:

You do have to keep an eye on it, but it does work. Save you having to buy a new microwave.
Mrs Barman was planning to bet bicarb on the way back from the airport and give it a go!  scared2:

I forgot to get (oe even bet) the bicarb at the supermarket - however I have done the lemon, clove and conamon stick thingy (thank you Wenchy) and it is much much better  smile:

It was nasty nasty I can tell you and since arriving back I had said to BM that there was a bit of a 'smell' from somewhere but until two days after my arrival I hadn't located it.

I guess I was just so bedazzled  ::) actually I really was   ;D by the STUNNING job BM had done on the fireplace I really didn't think he'd have ballsed up by forgetting food left in the M/W - guess that learnt me eh  cry:

When I opened the M/W I truly stepped back in horror - the pie was moving  eeek: - and started reching too!

Anyway don't think we'll be having a similar mistake during the 10 day home absence of BM.

Who got voted in as deputy Barman ? Have a few chores doing around the place that need sorting you know, so own up!

 
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Landlady on October 06, 2007, 07:15:03 AM
It still stinks...  noooo:

The microwave?

If so, cut a lemon in half and lightly squeeze it putting juice and halves into a microwave proof bowl, add 1tsp of bicarbonate of soda, some cloves and a cinamon stick. Nuke it for a bit and it stops the microwave smelling.
Sounds like some explosive mixture that Nick would concoct...  noooo:

You do have to keep an eye on it, but it does work. Save you having to buy a new microwave.
Mrs Barman was planning to bet bicarb on the way back from the airport and give it a go!  scared2:

I forgot to get (oe even bet) the bicarb at the supermarket - however I have done the lemon, clove and conamon stick thingy (thank you Wenchy) and it is much much better  smile:

It was nasty nasty I can tell you and since arriving back I had said to BM that there was a bit of a 'smell' from somewhere but until two days after my arrival I hadn't located it.

I guess I was just so bedazzled  ::) actually I really was   ;D by the STUNNING job BM had done on the fireplace I really didn't think he'd have ballsed up by forgetting food left in the M/W - guess that learnt me eh  cry:

When I opened the M/W I truly stepped back in horror - the pie was moving  eeek: - and started reching too!

Anyway don't think we'll be having a similar mistake during the 10 day home absence of BM.

Who got voted in as deputy Barman ? Have a few chores doing around the place that need sorting you know, so own up!

 

Have to hang my head in shame here  redface: and send apologies to BM for taking the proverbial out of his typing skills having now seen my GLARING typo erros too  redface: redface: redface:

My excuse is the fingernails are too long - come on back me up Wenchy  razz: 
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Barman on October 06, 2007, 07:17:41 AM
When I opened the M/W I truly stepped back in horror - the pie was moving  eeek: - and started reching too!
Don’t exaggerate – the pie didn’t start retching…  noooo:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Landlady on October 06, 2007, 07:39:49 AM
When I opened the M/W I truly stepped back in horror - the pie was moving  eeek: - and started reching too!
Don’t exaggerate – the pie didn’t start retching…  noooo:

No okay slight mis-typing again there BUT I bet you did (retch that is) at least a couple of times during 'Operation MW clean up) - seem to remember someone couldn't face their toast that morning  point:

Tell me was it worse than clearing up the cat poop? You always bang on about how THAT is the worst thing in the world  ::)   
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Barman on October 06, 2007, 07:41:51 AM
When I opened the M/W I truly stepped back in horror - the pie was moving  eeek: - and started reching too!
Don’t exaggerate – the pie didn’t start retching…  noooo:

No okay slight mis-typing again there BUT I bet you did (retch that is) at least a couple of times during 'Operation MW clean up) - seem to remember someone couldn't face their toast that morning  point:

Tell me was it worse than clearing up the cat poop? You always bang on about how THAT is the worst thing in the world  ::)   
Cat shite tends not to run away when you are trying to scoop it up...  sick2:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Landlady on October 06, 2007, 07:48:13 AM
When I opened the M/W I truly stepped back in horror - the pie was moving  eeek: - and started reching too!
Don’t exaggerate – the pie didn’t start retching…  noooo:

No okay slight mis-typing again there BUT I bet you did (retch that is) at least a couple of times during 'Operation MW clean up) - seem to remember someone couldn't face their toast that morning  point:

Tell me was it worse than clearing up the cat poop? You always bang on about how THAT is the worst thing in the world  ::)   
Cat shite tends not to run away when you are trying to scoop it up...  sick2:

Sorry two points of order here BM

1) Maggots DO NOT have legs hence they CAN'T run away - wriggle away yes but run  noooo: Unless of course you were dealing with alien maggots who 'perhaps' my have legs - I didn't continue looking in the MW once the stentch had hit me so I can't truly verify the maggot species. Need one of Snoopy's famous web links here I think to confirm possibilities of maggots with legs or not  eeek:

2) Cat poo could 'possibily' be wriggly if it contained ingested worms  sick2:

 
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Barman on October 06, 2007, 07:50:14 AM
When I opened the M/W I truly stepped back in horror - the pie was moving  eeek: - and started reching too!
Don’t exaggerate – the pie didn’t start retching…  noooo:

No okay slight mis-typing again there BUT I bet you did (retch that is) at least a couple of times during 'Operation MW clean up) - seem to remember someone couldn't face their toast that morning  point:

Tell me was it worse than clearing up the cat poop? You always bang on about how THAT is the worst thing in the world  ::)   
Cat shite tends not to run away when you are trying to scoop it up...  sick2:

Sorry two points of order here BM

1) Maggots DO NOT have legs hence they CAN'T run away - wriggle away yes but run  noooo: Unless of course you were dealing with alien maggots who 'perhaps' my have legs - I didn't continue looking in the MW once the stentch had hit me so I can't truly verify the maggot species. Need one of Snoopy's famous web links here I think to confirm possibilities of maggots with legs or not  eeek:

2) Cat poo could 'possibily' be wriggly if it contained ingested worms  sick2:

::)
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Snoopy on October 06, 2007, 07:57:35 AM
I was planning on offering my services for those little "chores"  eyes: but given the standard of cuisine I don't think so.
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Barman on October 06, 2007, 08:06:34 AM
I was planning on offering my services for those little "chores"  eyes: but given the standard of cuisine I don't think so.
You don't like maggots then?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Snoopy on October 06, 2007, 08:09:02 AM
I was planning on offering my services for those little "chores"  eyes: but given the standard of cuisine I don't think so.
You don't like maggots then?  rubschin:

I'm a Beagle not a Carp! evil:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Nick on October 06, 2007, 09:25:07 AM
Mrs Nick has just accosted me in the shower demanding to know the whereabouts of a minature bottle of maple syrup. How would I know? It's been in the pantry for waht seems like all eternity. I haven't touched it.

"My Mum gave that to me in 1975, and it's of sentimental value." eeek:

Infested, I'll bet.

btw. HOw do flies/eggs/maggots get into a sealed microwave? Or are they sort of embryonic inside the pie to begin with? sick2:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Barman on October 06, 2007, 11:07:51 AM
Mrs Nick has just accosted me in the shower demanding to know the whereabouts of a minature bottle of maple syrup. How would I know? It's been in the pantry for waht seems like all eternity. I haven't touched it.

"My Mum gave that to me in 1975, and it's of sentimental value." eeek:

Infested, I'll bet.

btw. HOw do flies/eggs/maggots get into a sealed microwave? Or are they sort of embryonic inside the pie to begin with? sick2:
sick2:
Precisely…

The same way that weevils get into flour I reckon – they are there from the start…  noooo:

I said they are there from the start… did you hear that Wenchy?
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Landlady on October 06, 2007, 02:25:27 PM

btw. HOw do flies/eggs/maggots get into a sealed microwave? Or are they sort of embryonic inside the pie to begin with? sick2:

I think they are, there all the time that is, because of the quality of the meat. Most of it isn't real, well it is, but it's all the nasty naff bits that they 'spin' off the bone - its true it really is - remember watching a BBC prog about it eons ago  eeek:
Even more scary thought, which I did mention to BM is that aside from getting in pies this is what happens to bodies once the soul has departed - ie: dieded  eeek: That's why I want to be crem'd - rather go up in flames than have those buggers muching on me  sick2:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Nick on October 06, 2007, 02:32:29 PM
Regard it as recycling yourself spider:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Bar Wench on October 06, 2007, 02:47:59 PM
I am seriously going to vomit at that thought.

Ummm, why didn't the cleaner notice the pie in the microwave?  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Barman on October 06, 2007, 02:49:19 PM
I am seriously going to vomit at that thought.

Ummm, why didn't the cleaner notice the pie in the microwave?  eveilgrin:
Oh fuck me... don't get LL started on the bloody cleaner!  ::)
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Landlady on October 06, 2007, 02:54:37 PM
I am seriously going to vomit at that thought.

Ummm, why didn't the cleaner notice the pie in the microwave?  eveilgrin:

The cleaner pah! BM panicked and contacted Thomas at the supermarket to draft in a cleaner who apparently spent from 8am to 5pm cleaning the OUTSIDE of the house and didn't do one bit of the two whole baskets of ironing that BM had built up. I think he thought he was Cher for the two weeks I was away and changed whole outfits thrice daily  eeek:
As for why didn't the cleaner notice why the heck didn't BM notice  cussing: it was his bloody pie!
 
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Barman on October 06, 2007, 02:56:09 PM
I am seriously going to vomit at that thought.

Ummm, why didn't the cleaner notice the pie in the microwave?  eveilgrin:

The cleaner pah! BM panicked and contacted Thomas at the supermarket to draft in a cleaner who apparently spent from 8am to 5pm cleaning the OUTSIDE of the house and didn't do one bit of the two whole baskets of ironing that BM had built up. I think he thought he was Cher for the two weeks I was away and changed whole outfits thrice daily  eeek:
As for why didn't the cleaner notice why the heck didn't BM notice  cussing: it was his bloody pie!
 
Ahem...

It was the dog's pie actually... I ate my half...  whistle:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Bar Wench on October 06, 2007, 02:56:39 PM
I didn't hear about that bit!! Honestly BM, would a bit of direction really have been that difficult?
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Landlady on October 06, 2007, 02:56:46 PM
Regard it as recycling yourself spider:

Nope I can't sorry - also if you are crem'd then you have to have two seperate and independant doctors confirm you are really deaded which hopefully also avoids another of my fears of waking up inside a sealed mortuary cabinet (at best) or in a dark dank casket  scared2: scared2: scared2:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Barman on October 06, 2007, 02:58:50 PM
I didn't hear about that bit!! Honestly BM, would a bit of direction really have been that difficult?
If I'd spent the whole day doing 'Vietnamese for beginners', no...  noooo:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Landlady on October 06, 2007, 02:59:12 PM
I didn't hear about that bit!! Honestly BM, would a bit of direction really have been that difficult?

BM says she 'apparently' spoke very little English - apart from the classics of 'I love you very very much' and 'Make you last a long time'  whistle:
Actually if I even thought the above was the case he'd be deaded too  cussing:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Bar Wench on October 06, 2007, 03:00:48 PM
How difficult would it have been to show her the ironing and shove an iron in her hand?  ::)
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Barman on October 06, 2007, 03:01:12 PM
She was only about two feet tall… she probably couldn’t have reached the microwave even if I had spoken enough Vietnamese to ask her to do it…  noooo:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Barman on October 06, 2007, 03:01:54 PM
How difficult would it have been to show her the ironing and shove an iron in her hand?  ::)
I tried that!  Banghead

She couldn't work the hoover either...  noooo:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Snoopy on October 06, 2007, 03:04:34 PM
And another thing ~ he never told me where the bloody pie was so I couldn't eat it could I? evil:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Landlady on October 06, 2007, 03:07:06 PM
How difficult would it have been to show her the ironing and shove an iron in her hand?  ::)

And you think BM knows where the ironing board and the iron are? Let alone instruct someone else in this art  happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Barman on October 06, 2007, 03:08:18 PM
How difficult would it have been to show her the ironing and shove an iron in her hand?  ::)

And you think BM knows where the ironing board and the iron are? Let alone instruct someone else in this art  happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001
::)
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Bar Wench on October 06, 2007, 03:31:15 PM
I don't know where ours are.  redface:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Barman on October 06, 2007, 03:34:22 PM
I don't know where ours are.  redface:
point:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Bar Wench on October 06, 2007, 03:37:03 PM
I don't know where ours are.  redface:
point:

It's why acrylic and nylon were invented! If Mr Wench insists on buying 100% cotton shirts he can iron the damn things himself!
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Sour Puss on October 06, 2007, 04:45:18 PM
happ096 happ096

It's why acrylic and nylon were invented! If Mr Wench insists on buying 100% cotton shirts he can iron the damn things himself!

 worthy:   happ096     shrugs:  Not sure where my iron is either, and I keep meaning to throw the ironing board out every time I find it again.  When we were a family of several white cotton shirts each day, for school and work etc., fine, but now we are retired, it ain't going to happen.  noooo:  Even my mum says life is too short.  whistle:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Landlady on October 07, 2007, 04:07:43 PM
happ096 happ096

It's why acrylic and nylon were invented! If Mr Wench insists on buying 100% cotton shirts he can iron the damn things himself!

 worthy:   happ096     shrugs:  Not sure where my iron is either, and I keep meaning to throw the ironing board out every time I find it again.  When we were a family of several white cotton shirts each day, for school and work etc., fine, but now we are retired, it ain't going to happen.  noooo:  Even my mum says life is too short.  whistle:

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  redface:
Now I have to admit that I am a real sad git then who whilst I don't like ironing still do it because one  eyes: of my favourite treats is getting into freshly ironed pure cotton sheets  ;D
In fact IF, which is unlikely, I ever won the lottery, or some other similar event which allow me to spend money in a fashion I would like to become acustomed to (which ain't ever likely to happen) my first TREAT would be to have frashly ironed cottom sheets on my bed EVERYDAY. This luxury would also, obviously, included someone unmaking and remaking the bed every day too. Does this make me  whacky115
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Tinkerbell on October 07, 2007, 04:11:33 PM
happ096 happ096

It's why acrylic and nylon were invented! If Mr Wench insists on buying 100% cotton shirts he can iron the damn things himself!

 worthy:   happ096     shrugs:  Not sure where my iron is either, and I keep meaning to throw the ironing board out every time I find it again.  When we were a family of several white cotton shirts each day, for school and work etc., fine, but now we are retired, it ain't going to happen.  noooo:  Even my mum says life is too short.  whistle:

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  redface:
Now I have to admit that I am a real sad git then who whilst I don't like ironing still do it because one  eyes: of my favourite treats is getting into freshly ironed pure cotton sheets  ;D
In fact IF, which is unlikely, I ever won the lottery, or some other similar event which allow me to spend money in a fashion I would like to become acustomed to (which ain't ever likely to happen) my first TREAT would be to have frashly ironed cottom sheets on my bed EVERYDAY. This luxury would also, obviously, included someone unmaking and remaking the bed every day too. Does this make me  whacky115

Cross-eyed and itchy?????
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Snoopy on October 07, 2007, 04:13:26 PM
It may well make you  whacky115 but you are in good company. Nothing nicer that crisp cold sheets on the bed ~ 'cept p'raps a hot blonde  eyes:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Landlady on October 07, 2007, 04:20:32 PM
It may well make you  whacky115 but you are in good company. Nothing nicer that crisp cold sheets on the bed ~ 'cept p'raps a hot blonde  eyes:

How do you do hospital corners on a hot blonde?
On second thoughts don't tell me  noooo: noooo:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Snoopy on October 07, 2007, 04:22:10 PM
It may well make you  whacky115 but you are in good company. Nothing nicer that crisp cold sheets on the bed ~ 'cept p'raps a hot blonde  eyes:

How do you do hospital corners on a hot blonde?
On second thoughts don't tell me  noooo: noooo:

Well you start with a couple pf silk scarves    redface:  I've probably said too much already.
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Barman on October 07, 2007, 05:03:06 PM
It may well make you  whacky115 but you are in good company. Nothing nicer that crisp cold sheets on the bed ~ 'cept p'raps a hot blonde  eyes:

How do you do hospital corners on a hot blonde?
On second thoughts don't tell me  noooo: noooo:

Well you start with a couple pf silk scarves    redface:  I've probably said too much already.
Or ties...  whistle:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Snoopy on October 07, 2007, 05:10:01 PM
It may well make you  whacky115 but you are in good company. Nothing nicer that crisp cold sheets on the bed ~ 'cept p'raps a hot blonde  eyes:

How do you do hospital corners on a hot blonde?
On second thoughts don't tell me  noooo: noooo:

Well you start with a couple pf silk scarves    redface:  I've probably said too much already.
Or ties...  whistle:


How common  noooo:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Barman on October 07, 2007, 05:11:29 PM
It may well make you  whacky115 but you are in good company. Nothing nicer that crisp cold sheets on the bed ~ 'cept p'raps a hot blonde  eyes:

How do you do hospital corners on a hot blonde?
On second thoughts don't tell me  noooo: noooo:

Well you start with a couple pf silk scarves    redface:  I've probably said too much already.
Or ties...  whistle:


How common  noooo:
Silk ties...?
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Snoopy on October 07, 2007, 05:12:45 PM
It may well make you  whacky115 but you are in good company. Nothing nicer that crisp cold sheets on the bed ~ 'cept p'raps a hot blonde  eyes:

How do you do hospital corners on a hot blonde?
On second thoughts don't tell me  noooo: noooo:

Well you start with a couple pf silk scarves    redface:  I've probably said too much already.
Or ties...  whistle:


How common  noooo:
Silk ties...?

Why ruin a good tie?

And it's not the same if you are using ties your MiL gave you for Christmas. The fvcking jingle that is hidden within (Oh what a good pressy for BM) will be sure to go off at the wrong moment causing unwanted hysteria on her part and unpleasant thoughts of her mother  on yours.
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Barman on October 07, 2007, 05:16:19 PM
It may well make you  whacky115 but you are in good company. Nothing nicer that crisp cold sheets on the bed ~ 'cept p'raps a hot blonde  eyes:

How do you do hospital corners on a hot blonde?
On second thoughts don't tell me  noooo: noooo:

Well you start with a couple pf silk scarves    redface:  I've probably said too much already.
Or ties...  whistle:


How common  noooo:
Silk ties...?

Why ruin a good tie?

And it's not the same if you are using ties your MiL gave you for Christmas. The fvcking jingle that is hidden within (Oh what a good pressy for BM) will be sure to go off at the wrong moment causing unwanted hysteria on her part and unpleasant thoughts of her mother  on yours.
Not trick ties – tying-up ties…  ;)

Probably…  redface:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Snoopy on October 07, 2007, 05:30:01 PM
It may well make you  whacky115 but you are in good company. Nothing nicer that crisp cold sheets on the bed ~ 'cept p'raps a hot blonde  eyes:

How do you do hospital corners on a hot blonde?
On second thoughts don't tell me  noooo: noooo:

Well you start with a couple pf silk scarves    redface:  I've probably said too much already.
Or ties...  whistle:


How common  noooo:
Silk ties...?

Why ruin a good tie?

And it's not the same if you are using ties your MiL gave you for Christmas. The fvcking jingle that is hidden within (Oh what a good pressy for BM) will be sure to go off at the wrong moment causing unwanted hysteria on her part and unpleasant thoughts of her mother  on yours.
Not trick ties – tying-up ties…  ;)

Probably…  redface:


Double O Beagle gets to the truth again. You now owe me Wenchy ..... for the secrets I have uncovered here.
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Barman on October 07, 2007, 05:32:00 PM
How did my maggots thread stoop to tie ‘n tease?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Snoopy on October 07, 2007, 05:39:56 PM
How did my maggots thread stoop to tie ‘n tease?  rubschin:

This is the "Off Topic" remember ~ anyway I was flirting with talking to your wife. whistle:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Barman on October 07, 2007, 05:42:35 PM
How did my maggots thread stoop to tie ‘n tease?  rubschin:

This is the "Off Topic" remember ~ anyway I was flirting with talking to your wife. whistle:
Ah... the ol' sheet fetish then...  eyes:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Pastis on October 07, 2007, 05:42:51 PM
How did my maggots thread stoop to tie ‘n tease?  rubschin:

I would say relatively quickly  drumroll:

And yes, it's The Off Topic... or The Toff's Optic in certain parts of Berkshire  ;)
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Snoopy on October 07, 2007, 05:45:23 PM
How did my maggots thread stoop to tie ‘n tease?  rubschin:

I would say relatively quickly  drumroll:

And yes, it's The Off Topic... or The Toff's Optic in certain parts of Berkshire  ;)

You can have a clap for that one even if you have used too many Ts
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Pastis on October 07, 2007, 05:55:43 PM
Ah... the ol' sheet fetish then...  eyes:

Try saying that after a few sherbets  eyes:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Barman on October 07, 2007, 05:56:27 PM
Ah... the ol' sheet fetish then...  eyes:

Try saying that after a few sherbets  eyes:
I'm not sure I could say it now...  noooo:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Snoopy on October 07, 2007, 06:03:52 PM
Tsk!
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Nick on October 07, 2007, 06:07:41 PM
What is this thread about?
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Snoopy on October 07, 2007, 06:08:48 PM
Maggots ~ why?  whistle:
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Nick on October 07, 2007, 06:13:30 PM
I hakve none that I know of yet, so I will slither away. But Mrs Nick has a thing about silverfish. I can't even see them. What is all that about then?
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Pastis on October 07, 2007, 06:19:19 PM
With ref. to Snoopy's comment... can't be @rsed to go back and quote... Precisely. If that's what it says on the tin, then that's what's in it.... innit?

It may have gone tangential from time to time.... flirtatious maggoting... even Magritte-ing... but essentially maggots.

And Snoopy, how come I used too many T's on the previous page? Eh?
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Snoopy on October 07, 2007, 06:20:25 PM
I hakve none that I know of yet, so I will slither away. But Mrs Nick has a thing about silverfish. I can't even see them. What is all that about then?

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fhome.messiah.edu%2F%7Eweiand%2Fbugs%2Fpics%2FSilverfish.jpg&hash=c325dadac021dbc27d70f5b94f0da5d8adafdfcd)

Silverfish ~ Insect They like the dark and damp places around kitchens etc. Often to be found behind old, damp wall paper, in larders etc. They live on starch/sugars etc. Legless hence the fish like movements that give them their name.
Many associate them with dirt but that is not the case. Hard to eradicate, especially in old, humid houses.
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Nick on October 07, 2007, 06:22:16 PM
Lost cause then!

May as well adopt them
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Snoopy on October 07, 2007, 06:23:27 PM
With ref. to Snoopy's comment... can't be @rsed to go back and quote... Precisely. If that's what it says on the tin, then that's what's in it.... innit?

It may have gone tangential from time to time.... flirtatious maggoting... even Magritte-ing... but essentially maggots.

And Snoopy, how come I used too many T's on the previous page? Eh?

The Off Topic has two Ts in it ~ your anagram had three but you still got a clap.
I'll leave it to Nick to explain about the need or otherwise of an apostrophe in your question (He's touchy about their use you know)
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Snoopy on October 07, 2007, 06:26:14 PM
Lost cause then!

May as well adopt them

Very much so I'm afraid ~ though that will not satisfy Mrs Nick or any other woman I ever met.
You can get stuff to kill them off but they'll return as the poison doesn't seem to have any effect on the eggs.
Bit like nits from school really ~ you have to keep on treating as one or two of the little buggers has always laid eggs before you can get at them.
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Pastis on October 07, 2007, 06:28:44 PM
With ref. to Snoopy's comment... can't be @rsed to go back and quote... Precisely. If that's what it says on the tin, then that's what's in it.... innit?

It may have gone tangential from time to time.... flirtatious maggoting... even Magritte-ing... but essentially maggots.

And Snoopy, how come I used too many T's on the previous page? Eh?

The Off Topic has two Ts in it ~ your anagram had three but you still got a clap.
I'll leave it to Nick to explain about the need or otherwise of an apostrophe in your question (He's touchy about their use you know)

Hmmm... I was thinking Dr Spooner rather then Ms Ana Gram  cool14:

No problem.
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Snoopy on October 07, 2007, 06:30:35 PM
With ref. to Snoopy's comment... can't be @rsed to go back and quote... Precisely. If that's what it says on the tin, then that's what's in it.... innit?

It may have gone tangential from time to time.... flirtatious maggoting... even Magritte-ing... but essentially maggots.

And Snoopy, how come I used too many T's on the previous page? Eh?

The Off Topic has two Ts in it ~ your anagram had three but you still got a clap.
I'll leave it to Nick to explain about the need or otherwise of an apostrophe in your question (He's touchy about their use you know)

Hmmm... I was thinking Dr Spooner rather then Ms Ana Gram  cool14:

No problem.

In that case my dear sir please excerpt my sincere apologies.
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Pastis on October 07, 2007, 06:37:36 PM
In that case my dear sir please excerpt my sincere apologies.

I've tried excerpting them but there seems to be a problem. Can I exhume them?
Title: Re: Maggots
Post by: Snoopy on October 07, 2007, 06:42:48 PM
In that case my dear sir please excerpt my sincere apologies.

I've tried excerpting them but there seems to be a problem. Can I exhume them?


Didn't he used to be Prime Minister?

I'm orf to watch the Rugger now. See you all tomorrow.