The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Nick on September 16, 2007, 05:57:53 PM
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WE all know that human curiousity knows no bounds. I have had this thread before, I think. Maybe it's a boy thing.
I am sure we can all learn from one another. MIcrowaving things that shouldn't be microwaved, for example. Just to see what, er, happens.
Of knocking down chimneys for no reason. Or poking badgers. eeek:
Today's was disgusting.
Marmite has taken to eating, with our help of course, sachets of food. She would never get through a tin quick enough and then they stank.
Today I reached for a sachet and found it SWOLLEN to heroic proportions. SOme kind of infestation. It was as tight as a drum.
I put it on the back step by itself. LAter I thought I should dispose of it before it went off like a hand grenade. I walked it to the bin and was about to drop it in when 2 thoughts occured:
1. What if it goes off in the bin? eeek:
2. What would happen if I just dropped a brick on it?
After some thought, I opted for 2.
CHRIST. BANG. Some foul evil smelling slime shot out and polluted the entire open air. It also sprayed itself all over our neighbour's convertible. eeek: eeek:
As a mature responsible person I considered carefully what to do or say about this "accident". After some consideration I fled the scene. "2" hours later the stench is still hanging in the air (after a rainstorm)!
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Given your history Nick, who do you think the finger of suspicion will be pointing at??
I would have done the same by the way.
I cleared out the old fireplace today (stand upwind when you empty the ashes) and discovered the remains of my experiments, tin cans, candles, etc.
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WE all know that human curiousity knows no bounds. I have had this thread before, I think. Maybe it's a boy thing.
I am sure we can all learn from one another. MIcrowaving things that shouldn't be microwaved, for example. Just to see what, er, happens.
Of knocking down chimneys for no reason. Or poking badgers. eeek:
Today's was disgusting.
Marmite has taken to eating, with our help of course, sachets of food. She would never get through a tin quick enough and then they stank.
Today I reached for a sachet and found it SWOLLEN to heroic proportions. SOme kind of infestation. It was as tight as a drum.
I put it on the back step by itself. LAter I thought I should dispose of it before it went off like a hand grenade. I walked it to the bin and was about to drop it in when 2 thoughts occured:
1. What if it goes off in the bin? eeek:
2. What would happen if I just dropped a brick on it?
After some thought, I opted for 2.
CHRIST. BANG. Some foul evil smelling slime shot out and polluted the entire open air. It also sprayed itself all over our neighbour's convertible. eeek: eeek:
As a mature responsible person I considered carefully what to do or say about this "accident". After some consideration I fled the scene. "2" hours later the stench is still hanging in the air (after a rainstorm)!
Oh dear. cry:
I'd have thought you'd know better Nick - after all, if it's swollen up (pretty much like the badger was), then there's a good chance nasty things will happen if you poke it with a stick or drop bricks on it!
I suspect this was a deliberate act (vengeance maybe?) aimed at polluting you neighbour's car rubschin:
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I would have thrown it into the neighbours garden and forgotten about it.. whistle:
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Pity I didn't think of that Berek noooo:
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rubschin:
Hmmm.. New Whiskas "Mature Badger" flavour catfood.
Could be a big success.
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I just went to check. It still stinks out there. IN the open air!
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With hindsight, if it was within its sell-by date you could have taken it back and got about a squillion Pounds compo? whistle:
You could at least claim that Marmite ate one (from the same batch) and had been destroying duvets ever since?
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I wouldn't have wanted it in my car!
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I wouldn't have wanted it in my car!
Walking into the shop holding the bag in fire tongs and wearing asbestos gloves and a welder?s mask would have added to the power of your argument? whistle:
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Good point!!
IF I had got there without it blowing up evil:
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Good point!!
IF I had got there without it blowing up evil:
Lead-lined containment vessel or Mrs. Nick?s handbag.
Job done.
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Good plan. I had to rummage for something in Mrs Nick's handbag earlier. It's like a Tardis. SO much stuff!
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Good plan. I had to rummage for something in Mrs Nick's handbag earlier. It's like a Tardis. SO much stuff!
Like Mary Poppins I 'spec?
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stand upwind when you empty the ashes
I guess you didn't noooo:
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stand upwind when you empty the ashes
I guess you didn't noooo:
noooo:
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point: point: point: point:
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point: point: point: point:
It goes everywhere...
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Had you not thrown away all those shoe boxes you would have had a suitable receptacle point:
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It goes everywhere...
Yes. Worse when it's human ashes though.
It wasn't, was it? eeek:
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stand upwind when you empty the ashes
I guess you didn't noooo:
noooo:
What did I tell you only this morning? ::)
Ashes, soot ...... not much difference really.
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Had you not thrown away all those shoe boxes you would have had a suitable receptacle point:
I doubt it. It went off with some force!
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It goes everywhere...
Yes. Worse when it's human ashes though.
It wasn't, was it? eeek:
No of course not! whistle:
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Had you not thrown away all those shoe boxes you would have had a suitable receptacle point:
I didn't throw the bloody things away! Banghead
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rubschin: Landlady "sent to visit elderly relatives in UK". Elderly relatives are notoriously unreliable at remembering who they saw when.
Housing renovations involving knocking down perfectly serviceable chimney and rebuilding same but bigger.
Two weeks later LandLady "fails" to return from UK. BM reports she has run away with a brewery salesman whilst on holiday ~ claims he is heartbroken, makes new supplies of homebrew and settles to watch porn channels received on new, larger sat dish and play with his fish eye lens, which Landlady had said he could have "Over my dead body"
Ze Little Grey Cells 'astings ..... zey are itching!
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rubschin: Landlady "sent to visit elderly relatives in UK". Elderly relatives are notoriously unreliable at remembering who they saw when.
Housing renovations involving knocking down perfectly serviceable chimney and rebuilding same but bigger.
Two weeks later LandLady "fails" to return from UK. BM reports she has run away with a brewery salesman whilst on holiday ~ claims he is heartbroken, makes new supplies of homebrew and settles to watch porn channels received on new, larger sat dish and play with his fish eye lens, which Landlady had said he could have "Over my dead body"
Ze Little Grey Cells 'astings ..... zey are itching!
How very dare you????
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This is getting like the "Little Maddy" thread!
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This is getting like the "Little Maddy" thread!
Long and winding you mean?
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What did Marmite think about the cat food?
You could enter a joint complaint....