The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Nick on August 27, 2020, 04:51:36 PM

Title: The all new "One of those days" thread
Post by: Nick on August 27, 2020, 04:51:36 PM
1. The phone rings
Is that Stoke lock
Yes
Good, I need to speak to you
Speak away
We were planning to come up to the lock, pass through and spend the night on your topside moorings
Fine!
But we aren't
What do you mean?
We have changed our plans and we are staying here!
Where
(Names next lock down)
So what are you telling me?
That we have no plans to come through your lock
Um, so why do I need to know this?
Because we had planned to but now we aren't
Did I know of this plan?
No, but it is a matter of courtesy!
 Shrugs:

2. As you approach the lock do beware of the sandbar which is liberally covered in flourescent markers
OK!!  :thumbsup:
Boat careers through orange buoys on sandbar, destroying 6 and getting the anchor chain of a 7th wrapped around its propeller
They manage to get to the riverbank and set about untangling the chain
2 hours later they call: The gear box is damaged and we plan to continue our journey in reverse.
They enter the lock backwards and set off for Nottingham going backwards all the way (6 miles?) noooo:

3. Monsoon starts. A little boat arrives and the inhabitants set off into the nearby woods for a naked BBQ  eeek:
Title: Re: The all new "One of those days" thread
Post by: Just One More on August 27, 2020, 05:11:47 PM
1. The phone rings
Is that Stoke lock
Yes
Good, I need to speak to you
Speak away
We were planning to come up to the lock, pass through and spend the night on your topside moorings
Fine!
But we aren't
What do you mean?
We have changed our plans and we are staying here!
Where
(Names next lock down)
So what are you telling me?
That we have no plans to come through your lock
Um, so why do I need to know this?
Because we had planned to but now we aren't
Did I know of this plan?
No, but it is a matter of courtesy!
 Shrugs:

2. As you approach the lock do beware of the sandbar which is liberally covered in flourescent markers
OK!!  :thumbsup:
Boat careers through orange buoys on sandbar, destroying 6 and getting the anchor chain of a 7th wrapped around its propeller
They manage to get to the riverbank and set about untangling the chain
2 hours later they call: The gear box is damaged and we plan to continue our journey in reverse.
They enter the lock backwards and set off for Nottingham going backwards all the way (6 miles?) noooo:

3. Monsoon starts. A little boat arrives and the inhabitants set off into the nearby woods for a naked BBQ  eeek:

Sausage
Title: Re: The all new "One of those days" thread
Post by: Barman on August 27, 2020, 05:12:10 PM
1. The phone rings
Is that Stoke lock
Yes
Good, I need to speak to you
Speak away
We were planning to come up to the lock, pass through and spend the night on your topside moorings
Fine!
But we aren't
What do you mean?
We have changed our plans and we are staying here!
Where
(Names next lock down)
So what are you telling me?
That we have no plans to come through your lock
Um, so why do I need to know this?
Because we had planned to but now we aren't
Did I know of this plan?
No, but it is a matter of courtesy!
 Shrugs:

2. As you approach the lock do beware of the sandbar which is liberally covered in flourescent markers
OK!!  :thumbsup:
Boat careers through orange buoys on sandbar, destroying 6 and getting the anchor chain of a 7th wrapped around its propeller
They manage to get to the riverbank and set about untangling the chain
2 hours later they call: The gear box is damaged and we plan to continue our journey in reverse.
They enter the lock backwards and set off for Nottingham going backwards all the way (6 miles?) noooo:

3. Monsoon starts. A little boat arrives and the inhabitants set off into the nearby woods for a naked BBQ  eeek:

 lol: lol: lol: eeek:
Title: Re: The all new "One of those days" thread
Post by: Steve on August 27, 2020, 08:12:26 PM
 lol: lol: lol:

I keep saying it but there's a fair decent book in them there stories Nick
Title: Re: The all new "One of those days" thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on August 28, 2020, 08:41:37 AM
lol: lol: lol:

I keep saying it but there's a fair decent book in them there stories Nick
:thumbsup:
Title: Re: The all new "One of those days" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 28, 2020, 09:14:43 AM
Takes of the Lock Nick Monster  rubschin:
Title: Re: The all new "One of those days" thread
Post by: Steve on August 28, 2020, 09:16:09 AM
Takes of the Lock Nick Monster  rubschin:
;D

I was more thinking Tales from the other Riverbank
Title: Re: The all new "One of those days" thread
Post by: Barman on August 28, 2020, 09:37:54 AM
Takes of the Lock Nick Monster  rubschin:

 drumroll:
Title: Re: The all new "One of those days" thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on August 28, 2020, 09:44:03 AM
Do you think similar things happen at the other locks or are they all just drawn to the Alpha oddball...?  rubschin:
Title: Re: The all new "One of those days" thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 28, 2020, 09:48:39 AM
It could be a new Harry Potter style series  :thumbsup:

There could be munny in this  lol:

Reservoir Mogs
Bridge over the river - why ?
Das Barge
Dam flusters


etc etc etc  lol: 
Title: Re: The all new "One of those days" thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on August 28, 2020, 09:52:05 AM
Tall Tales From the Riverbank?  rubschin:
Title: Re: The all new "One of those days" thread
Post by: Steve on August 28, 2020, 10:09:06 AM
Fifty shades of grey water?
Title: Re: The all new "One of those days" thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on August 28, 2020, 10:18:02 AM
The Poseidumb adventure?
Title: Re: The all new "One of those days" thread
Post by: Barman on August 28, 2020, 10:19:42 AM
Nicktanic...?
Title: Re: The all new "One of those days" thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on August 28, 2020, 10:33:42 AM
Nicktanic...?

Surely Titanick would have been better  rubschin:
Title: Re: The all new "One of those days" thread
Post by: Steve on August 28, 2020, 10:46:49 AM
Under Golden Pond
Title: Re: The all new "One of those days" thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on August 28, 2020, 10:49:52 AM
The Idiot Below
Title: Re: The all new "One of those days" thread
Post by: Barman on August 28, 2020, 11:47:55 AM
Nicktanic...?

Surely Titanick would have been better  rubschin:

 sad32: sad32: sad32:
Title: Re: The all new "One of those days" thread
Post by: apc2010 on August 28, 2020, 12:27:37 PM
It could be a new Harry Potter style series  :thumbsup:

There could be munny in this  lol:

Reservoir Mogs
Bridge over the river - why ?
Das Barge
Dam flusters


etc etc etc  lol:

 lol: lol:
Title: Re: The all new "One of those days" thread
Post by: Nick on August 28, 2020, 05:04:59 PM
Torrential rain and more idiots today.

Anyone who drives a boat called "Erraticus" should be shot gently in the back of the head.

Still, the lonely widow gave the promised wabbit  cloud9:
Title: Re: The all new "One of those days" thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on August 29, 2020, 05:11:51 AM
It could be worse Nick, you could end up dealing with something like this...

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8673917/Woman-thrown-air-sea-violent-explosion-motorboat-Italy.html

 rubschin:

 rubschin:

 rubschin:

 eeek:

 scared2:

 scared:

Now I've tempted Murphy on Nick's behalf am I beyond the minimum safe distance...?
Title: Re: The all new "One of those days" thread
Post by: Steve on August 29, 2020, 08:51:06 AM
 eeek: eeek: eeek: