The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Comedy Room => Topic started by: The Moan Ranger on September 13, 2007, 08:52:29 AM
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INSTRUCTIONS.
Anaesthetize your missus, put her in a large carton, (don't forget some ventilation holes), and send it to the person who is at the top of your list. Soon, your name will be at the top of the list, and you will receive 823,542 women through the post. Statistically, among those women, will be at
least:-
0.5 Miss Worlds
2.5 Models
463 Wild nymphs
3,234 Good-looking nymph's
20,198 Who enjoy multiple orgasms
40,198 Bi-sexual women.
In total, that is 64,294 women who are simply hornier, less inhibited, and tastier than the grumpy old bag you posted off. And, best of all, your original package is guaranteed not to be one of those that come back to you.
DO NOT BREAK THIS CHAIN LETTER.
One bloke for example who sent the letter to only 5 instead of 9 of his friends got his original bird back, still in the old dressing gown he sent her off in, with the same old migraine attack, and the accusatorial expression on her face.
On the same day, the international super model he'd been living with since he sent off his old girlfriend moved out to live with his best friend (to whom he had not sent the chain letter). While I am sending this letter, the bloke that is in 6th place above me has already received 837 women and is lying in hospital suffering from exhaustion.
Outside his ward are 452 more packages.
YOU MUST BELIEVE THIS MESSAGE.
This is a unique opportunity to achieve a totally satisfying sex life.
No expensive meals out, no lengthy conversations about trivialities (that only interest women). No obligations, no grumpy mother-in-law, and no unpleasant surprises like marriage or engagement.
Do not hesitate........send this letter today to 9 of your best friends.
PS. - Even when you have no girlfriend, you can send your vacuum cleaner; one of the other women that arrives will know how to use it.
PPS. - This letter can also be copied to women you know so that they can prepare themselves for the great adventure that they may soon undertake.
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lol: lol: lol:
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Guess I should start packing! eeek:
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Excellent. Would it really work do you think?
I could end up with Mrs Growler arriving here in a box eeek:
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Excellent. Would it really work do you think?
I could end up with Mrs Growler arriving here in a box eeek:
I'm more concerned that I might end up Chez Nick. scared2:
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Mrs. Barman is already boxed-up so it will only take me a minute... whistle:
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And I will send you Mrs Nick as soon as I can find a box big enough!
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And I will send you Mrs Nick as soon as I can find a box big enough!
Can you send me the air hostess instead? whistle:
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His day job is Air Steward ~ will that do?
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.virginmedia.com%2Ftvradio%2Fbigbrother%2Fgalleries%2Fbig-brother-hunks%2Fimg%2Fimg_9.jpg&hash=c746d80a74ed6ccdbc88a856285bd88a6762f43c)
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His day job is Air Steward ~ will that do?
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.virginmedia.com%2Ftvradio%2Fbigbrother%2Fgalleries%2Fbig-brother-hunks%2Fimg%2Fimg_9.jpg&hash=c746d80a74ed6ccdbc88a856285bd88a6762f43c)
sick2:
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His day job is Air Steward ~ will that do?
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.virginmedia.com%2Ftvradio%2Fbigbrother%2Fgalleries%2Fbig-brother-hunks%2Fimg%2Fimg_9.jpg&hash=c746d80a74ed6ccdbc88a856285bd88a6762f43c)
sick2:
Beggars can't be choosers old chap. whistle:
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That's not an air steward that's Jason (?) from Big Brother 6(?)
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That's not an air steward that's Jason (?) from Big Brother 6(?)
Who said he "Wanted to be an Air Steward" ::)
Which is why the picture comes from Virgin Air. ::) ::) ::)
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If I was really lucky I would get Miss Netball Kit landing on the doorstep cloud9:
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That's not an air steward that's Jason (?) from Big Brother 6(?)
Who said he "Wanted to be an Air Steward" ::)
Which is why the picture comes from Virgin Air. ::) ::) ::)
You know an awful lot about it for someone who claimed to have nothing to do with THAT programme. rubschin:
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If I was really lucky I would get Miss Netball Kit landing on the doorstep cloud9:
Sans kit... rubschin:
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That's not an air steward that's Jason (?) from Big Brother 6(?)
Who said he "Wanted to be an Air Steward" ::)
Which is why the picture comes from Virgin Air. ::) ::) ::)
You know an awful lot about it for someone who claimed to have nothing to do with THAT programme. rubschin:
I googled air steward images. Check it out by looking at the link I posted from.
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If I was really lucky I would get Miss Netball Kit landing on the doorstep cloud9:
Sans kit... rubschin:
I am happy to deal with that small problem! cloud9:
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If I was really lucky I would get Miss Netball Kit landing on the doorstep cloud9:
Sans kit... rubschin:
I am happy to deal with that small problem! cloud9:
eyes:
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I am seeing her at 3.15 eyes:. Time is really dragging.................
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I am seeing her at 3.15 eyes:. Time is really dragging.................
I ?spec its flying past for her! point:
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I have checked the whole suite of emoticons, but none of yours do justice to my feelings. evil:
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I have checked the whole suite of emoticons, but none of yours do justice to my feelings. evil:
Try here! point:
http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys-angry.php
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(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Femo%2Fangry030.gif&hash=10002af533ba9d405f9b355de996094f94339341) (http://www.freesmileys.org)
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(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Femo%2Fangry030.gif&hash=10002af533ba9d405f9b355de996094f94339341) (http://www.freesmileys.org)
Oh, not too upset then?
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SHe's had her hair done! eyes:
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SHe's had her hair done! eyes:
Did she have it up? [snigger]