The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Berek on September 09, 2007, 06:09:15 PM
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Chocolate Santas on sale in Morrisons Barrow.. Sept 9th.. eeek:
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Christmas Cards have been on sale in Prestatyn market since the beginning of August (to catch the summer tourist trade I guess).
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The Wenchy Season shall soon be upon us. I can furnish a list for those wishing to buy gifts. lol:
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The Wenchy Season shall soon be upon us. I can furnish a list for those wishing to buy gifts. lol:
redface:
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Noooooooooo........!!!!!!!
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.arthistoryclub.com%2Fart_history%2Fupload%2Fthumb%2Fa%2Fa6%2F300px-The_Scream.jpg&hash=5f07a6e784a3b500ce3d00263b4fdc15e696d7b7)
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Oh but yes. 'Ere we go again! evil:
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Aaah... It'll be the pub's first Xmas... I'll splash out on the decorations!
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.katwithak.com%2Farchives%2Fimages%2Fdecorations-thumb.JPG&hash=98b6dc11b75be551b48ff9abcca56e2d1aa4cda6)
Done! happy088
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Stick 'em in the loo ~ we'll all splash out on them. ;)
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Stick 'em in the loo ~ we'll all splash out on them. ;)
lol: lol: lol:
That'll save cleaning the floor...
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Cease and desist all this yap about Xmas - I hereby ban it until Dec 1st.
All transgressors will be made to listen to my war stories. evil:
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Cease and desist all this yap about Xmas - I hereby ban it until Dec 1st.
All transgressors will be made to listen to my war stories. evil:
Ah yes! Christmas in the trenches. . .
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Cease and desist all this yap about Xmas - I hereby ban it until Dec 1st.
All transgressors will be made to listen to my war stories. evil:
Shall I put these away then?
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Femo%2Fgreet004.gif&hash=4420ca5894e1359dbee66fffaf46ff8a5e823d0f) (http://www.freesmileys.org) (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Femo%2Fgreet005.gif&hash=45ba6424bc6c8036199a77fdc5738a23be63487c) (http://www.freesmileys.org) (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Femo%2Fgreet008.gif&hash=a666b2a8d9eec6302635e2e8078efa68d949daa4) (http://www.freesmileys.org)
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Send for Marley ~ he'll sort out old Bouncer Scrooge ~ well he did in the book. whistle:
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Cease and desist all this yap about Xmas - I hereby ban it until Dec 1st.
All transgressors will be made to listen to my war stories. evil:
Shall I put these away then?
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Femo%2Fgreet004.gif&hash=4420ca5894e1359dbee66fffaf46ff8a5e823d0f) (http://www.freesmileys.org) (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Femo%2Fgreet005.gif&hash=45ba6424bc6c8036199a77fdc5738a23be63487c) (http://www.freesmileys.org) (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Femo%2Fgreet008.gif&hash=a666b2a8d9eec6302635e2e8078efa68d949daa4) (http://www.freesmileys.org)
Noooooooooooooooooooooo!
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Cease and desist all this yap about Xmas - I hereby ban it until Dec 1st.
All transgressors will be made to listen to my war stories. evil:
Shall I put these away then?
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Femo%2Fgreet004.gif&hash=4420ca5894e1359dbee66fffaf46ff8a5e823d0f) (http://www.freesmileys.org) (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Femo%2Fgreet005.gif&hash=45ba6424bc6c8036199a77fdc5738a23be63487c) (http://www.freesmileys.org) (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Femo%2Fgreet008.gif&hash=a666b2a8d9eec6302635e2e8078efa68d949daa4) (http://www.freesmileys.org)
Are you suffering from 'Premature Decoration'?
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Cease and desist all this yap about Xmas - I hereby ban it until Dec 1st.
All transgressors will be made to listen to my war stories. evil:
Shall I put these away then?
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Femo%2Fgreet004.gif&hash=4420ca5894e1359dbee66fffaf46ff8a5e823d0f) (http://www.freesmileys.org) (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Femo%2Fgreet005.gif&hash=45ba6424bc6c8036199a77fdc5738a23be63487c) (http://www.freesmileys.org) (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Femo%2Fgreet008.gif&hash=a666b2a8d9eec6302635e2e8078efa68d949daa4) (http://www.freesmileys.org)
Are you suffering from 'Premature Decoration'?
Probably... redface:
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Cease and desist all this yap about Xmas - I hereby ban it until Dec 1st.
All transgressors will be made to listen to my war stories. evil:
I have my sandbag.. the light is swinging......away you go!
"When I was..............
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...just a little girl". Is this about Doris Day again?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6WDdZ6xaPg (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6WDdZ6xaPg)
Guaranteed to annoy!
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You bloody mad bugger! lol: lol: lol:
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Why? YOu started it!
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Asda are selling Xmas puds, I bought one to have tonight
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Why? YOu started it!
NO I didn't!!!!!
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That may be illegal.
And I hate Xmas Pudding, so they should be illegal. I suspect they may be Scottish in origin. evil:
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Why? YOu started it!
NO I didn't!!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwDWNKgD_rM&mode=related&search= (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwDWNKgD_rM&mode=related&search=)
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I'm ready
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi-love-cartoons.com%2Fsnags%2Fclipart%2Fchristmas%2Fpeanuts%2FChristmas-Snoopy-Lights-Tree.jpg&hash=d8b9fe56369a77726ce8917a9c84887d5f43283a)
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With a red X?
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With a red X?
Whether you see a red X or not is unknown to me until you tell me. It seems to depend on which method of logging on you use. The original or the one that goes via move-to etc. I, of course, have no way of knowing which you are using. Whichever it is that you have used and is causing the Red X I suggest you change to the other. Either that or wait until Barman has finished refilling the hole in his patio and gets round to the promised upgrade.
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That may be illegal.
And I hate Xmas Pudding, so they should be illegal. I suspect they may be Scottish in origin. evil:
All Scottish food is a dare.
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With a red X?
Whether you see a red X or not is unknown to me until you tell me. It seems to depend on which method of logging on you use. The original or the one that goes via move-to etc. I, of course, have no way of knowing which you are using. Whichever it is that you have used and is causing the Red X I suggest you change to the other. Either that or wait until Barman has finished refilling the hole in his patio and gets round to the promised upgrade.
Deffo a red X. Poor Landlady. I feel, somehow, that she may look like dear Doris.
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Well, you asked for it...
It was three in the morning and bitterly cold in the Iraqi desert but I was working up a fine sweat struggling to repair my engine so as I could get out of there before sunrise, if I didn't move I would be dead for sure!
You really feel alone in a desert at night - no wonder these Arabs are religious - you feel you could pluck a star right out of the sky and the silence is deafening.
Silence? No wait... I thought I heard something... Hell! I can't move, I'm stranded! Yes I can make it out now... it's an engine. A big one - a deep-throated roar of a big diesel - and it's coming my way! There is only one road here, stray off it and you sink in soft sand and you're finished so it's got to be heading for me... I can't hide. My vehicle is so big they'll never miss it and I have nowhere to go!
Gulp! "This it is" I said rather pointlessly to myself. I grabbed the 9mm auto that I had laid on the sill besides me and checked it - again - I don't know why, I had checked it only an hour or so earlier, fifteen in the mag and one up the spout! O.K. here we go! the engine was getting very close now and I could see the occasional flash of headlights along the road... Getting ever closer...
"Why the hell did I ever even think of coming back to this god-forsaken wilderness? Didn't I have a guts full last time when I devised a plan for breaking out of jail and creeping unseen onto a jet outta there? Didn't I swear on everything holy that I would never - ever - come back here again?".
Destiny has a funny way of twisting your life around, and I felt a rising sense of awareness creep over me like a chill, my mouth dried and I swallowed hard as I slid underneath the back axle to await the inevitable shoot-out that I already knew I couldn't win. But I was going to bring paradise early to as many of them as I could first.
The headlights flashed full on as the heavy vehicle drew close, I heard the engine note falter as the driver saw me and began the labourious sequence of changing down and preparing to stop... as the engine died I heard clearly the babble of voices jabbering away in Arabic and I sighed as I eased off the safety catch of my auto...
There was a shrill squeal from the brakes as they obviously hadn't been used in many many miles and the sand gets everywhere... Damn it, That's why I was stopped, because the fuel filters were all clogged with sand, I nearly laughed! "Of all the things that could kill me." I thought "It would have to be a few grains of sand." Bloody typical!
My heart raced as I heard the creak of a door opening and the thud of a pair of boots hitting the sand and the voices were so close now... I raised the gun and prepared for the worst..
A gruff eastern sounding voice rang out in the stillness - I will never forget that moment as long as I live - He yelled something unintelligable and began walking to the front of my vehicle - I heard the metallic clack of a weapon being cocked "Whey!" I thought! I'm between him and his vehicle, maybe that's good." "Oh, Hell but what about those still talking on the vehicle?" "Would there be more that sixteen of them?" I took my courage in both hands and rolled out from the back and straight into the glare of the headlights - here goes..... I thought
Oh bollocks! I'm bored with this.
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surrender:
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15 rounds?.. must be a Glock.....ex SF perhaps young bouncer?
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Glock?
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Glock?
Come on Nick! Don't you know anything???
No! Actually it was a Browning HiPower.
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They never let me near the Forces, for some reason!
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They never let me near the Forces, for some reason!
A wise move if you ask me - unless of course they enrolled you for the opposition, now that may be a plan rubschin:
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They never let me near the Forces, for some reason!
Thats because the Nick effect is banned under the Geneva Convention point:
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evil:
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They never let me near the Forces, for some reason!
A wise move if you ask me - unless of course they enrolled you for the opposition, now that may be a plan rubschin:
Nick = The Wirral's very own Johnny English
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ukstudentlife.com%2FBritain%2FFilms%2FEnglish%2FJohnnyEnglish1.jpg&hash=389a7dec9877ba525f58badfa0b9d1b90664f6d3)
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We are approaching Jacques Tati from a new angle, I think
http://www.tativille.com/uk/index.php?page=starter&anim=mh_misterhulot&width=800&height=600&titre=les%20vacances%20de%20monsieur%20Hulot (http://www.tativille.com/uk/index.php?page=starter&anim=mh_misterhulot&width=800&height=600&titre=les%20vacances%20de%20monsieur%20Hulot)
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Glock?
Come on Nick! Don't you know anything???
No! Actually it was a Browning HiPower.
roger that but 15? extended mag?
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Que?
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Glock?
Come on Nick! Don't you know anything???
No! Actually it was a Browning HiPower.
roger that but 15? extended mag?
Nope! You must be confusing it with the standard 8 Military handout (forget the No. but stood alongside the Colt 1911) It was a bit of a handful due to the staggered mag load that held 15 rounds. It had a very reliable safety so it became standard practice to 'load and lock' (rather than the official lock and load) allowing an extra one up the barrel - hopefully for the person that was counting.
The HiPower was a newer design which prover immensely popular and the same broad specification is seen in the widespread Berretta 92F that is in worldwide deployment today due largely by it's jam-proof design. Despite it's open slide which appears to invite all sorts of muck into it it is very reliable.
Purely by the bye, I had a personal Bernadelli 9mm and the Browning mag fitted so I imagine that it was a generic design model by then. Good thing too, 'cause I kept losing them! whistle:
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I have those too. For emergencies eveilgrin:
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I bet the wheels keep falling off! eyes:
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Que?
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What the fuck is this thread about now? shrugs:
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How would I know? You are in charge!
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How would I know? You are in charge!
Oh yes, I forgot... redface:
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I've mentioned it a couple of times before on other threads Barman old boy, its the Nick effect. Once it kicks in the thread will always go off on some bizzare tangent mirroring Captain Calamity's life whistle:
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I've mentioned it a couple of times before on other threads Barman old boy, its the Nick effect. Once it kicks in the thread will always go off on some bizzare tangent mirroring Captain Calamity's life whistle:
He's like a black hole for threads... noooo:
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How would I know? You are in charge!
Oh yes, I forgot... redface:
Him? In charge? point:
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How would I know? You are in charge!
Oh yes, I forgot... redface:
Him? In charge? point:
Angry9:
That's a good bloody start to my day... sad24:
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My local newsagents had their first two crimbo chocolate santas nicked on monday apparently.
Don't think they really appreciated my sarcastic laughter. point:
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crimbo
noooo:
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crimbo
noooo:
Oh yes! happy088
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(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fholmesonscreen.com%2Fsnoopy1.jpg&hash=47140ab0a106f1da82ec80ed7d3371c36d66c1ca)
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That's not a Christmas card Snoopy ~ note the 'Happy Holidays' noooo:
And Crombo is only used by such as this chap:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.drinkstuff.com%2Fproductimg%2F2977.jpg&hash=51cd5d1a49db56f9b13766e074d981f926a3473b)
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That's not a Christmas card Snoopy ~ note the 'Happy Holidays' noooo:
But I haven't had my Holidays yet ~ it wasn't meant to be a Christmas Card .... You'll get those later.
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That's not a Christmas card Snoopy ~ note the 'Happy Holidays' noooo:
And Crombo is only used by such as this chap:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.drinkstuff.com%2Fproductimg%2F2977.jpg&hash=51cd5d1a49db56f9b13766e074d981f926a3473b)
My daughter used that term 'Crimbo' some 25 years ago eeek: d'y'think it has spread some?
And watch it or you'll get the other half of my war story evil:
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My daughter used that term 'Crimbo' some 25 years ago d'y'think it has spread some?
She scouse too then?
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They say it in Nottingham too
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They say it everywhere ~ but not in my house evil:
ALSO please note I hate the word XMAS (https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Femo%2Fad%2Fboo.gif&hash=a6ebb9b56f9378265754b072525dd0545c946a27)
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My daughter used that term 'Crimbo' some 25 years ago d'y'think it has spread some?
She scouse too then?
No, she was born and bred in east London
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Crimbo has spread widely due to it's use in some Avid Merion shite novelty song.
I too have banned the word Xmas, also the phrase "Santa Claus"! We are not American thank-you very much!
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Crimbo has spread widely due to it's use in some Avid Merion shite novelty song.
I too have banned the word Xmas, also the phrase "Santa Claus"! We are not American thank-you very much!
Who TF is Avid Merion?
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Crimbo has spread widely due to it's use in some Avid Merion shite novelty song.
I too have banned the word Xmas, also the phrase "Santa Claus"! We are not American thank-you very much!
Who TF is Avid Merion?
Trying to remember the tv programme ............. Bo Selecta!
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Que?
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Que?
aussi pourqui?
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FFS google it people! Banghead I don't know. Mr Wench used to like it because there was some sort of a Kes reference tied to Craig David. I didn't watch it.
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FFS google it people! Banghead I don't know. watch it.
Bone idle aren't they Wenchy. ::)
http://www.channel4.com/entertainment/tv/microsites/B/bo_selecta/
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You are being awfully nice today. Do you want something? eeek:
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I await developments!
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You are being awfully nice today. Do you want something? eeek:
Just being my normal self.
Some in here have completely got the wrong idea about me. Take no notice of what Nick sez. noooo:
can I just remind you about kindly asking WG to pop his 'ed in though?
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He is definitely up to something!
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He is isn't he. scared2:
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He is definitely up to something!
So much cynisism. ::)