The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Nick on August 08, 2017, 01:03:44 PM
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All nice and ready like......... :thumbsup:
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Anyone want to give odds on Nick being offered a show contract as someone thinks that his supernatural ability for gubbage is some kind of deep comedy routine... rubschin:
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He could do readings from his all new book: Tales of the
RiverCanal Bank
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The more I think about it the more "An Idiot's Guide to Health and Safety" seems viable.
We start off with a disclaimer along the lines of "The activities you are about to hear of should not be attempted by amateurs. Nick is a professional idiot with years of experience which allowed him to survive all the events mentioned"
Then Nick limps on stage wearing various bandages and with at least one limb in plaster to begin telling his tales of woe.
It would either be a massive hit with the audience laughing hysterically or one of them will be arranging a padded cell for Nick. rubschin:
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::)
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Look at how much laughter you've caused here telling us about your many calamities.
On a larger scale there could be big money in this.... :thumbsup:
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rubschin:
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Look at how popular Mr Bean used to be. :thumbsup:
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evil:
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What I'm saying is there is an obvious niche that is no longer being filled and you could be the next big thing you grouchy old sod. :thumbsup:
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rubschin:
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I have had some odd experiences in Scotland. rubschin:
There was that religious loony who shouted at me through the letter box every day rubschin:
And the guy in Inverness who claimed to have lived on another planet rubschin:
And that hotel that caught fire but told us to stay put and not panic rubschin:
................
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You could get away with using them at the fringe but I'd make sure there was a lot of additional non Scottish material to spread it out.
Having seen Inverness I can understand why he thought he lived on another planet. noooo:
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There was that unfortunate business with the Pope angel1
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You could get away with using them at the fringe but I'd make sure there was a lot of additional non Scottish material to spread it out.
Having seen Inverness I can understand why he thought he lived on another planet. noooo:
He even has the right colour hair for Edinburgh whistle:
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There was that unfortunate business with the Pope angel1
You could include that in the routine but will your subsequent excommunication summon the wrath of the ex Mrs Nick... scared2:
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You could get away with using them at the fringe but I'd make sure there was a lot of additional non Scottish material to spread it out.
Having seen Inverness I can understand why he thought he lived on another planet. noooo:
He even has the right colour hair for Edinburgh whistle:
cussing:
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I discover today that Pink Sis is performing at the Festival. Stand up comedy. eeek:
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I discover today that Pink Sis is performing at the Festival. Stand up comedy. eeek:
Telling the life story of her brother?
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cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
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I discover today that Pink Sis is performing at the Festival. Stand up comedy. eeek:
Telling the life story of her brother?
We tried to warn you Nick, you snooze you lose. whistle:
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Here's another show for you to see. Alex Salmond does stand up.... eeek:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4786154/Alex-Salmond-begins-two-week-Edinburgh-Fringe-comedy-stint.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4786154/Alex-Salmond-begins-two-week-Edinburgh-Fringe-comedy-stint.html)
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Here's another show for you to see. Alex Salmond does stand up.... eeek:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4786154/Alex-Salmond-begins-two-week-Edinburgh-Fringe-comedy-stint.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4786154/Alex-Salmond-begins-two-week-Edinburgh-Fringe-comedy-stint.html)
eeek:
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Nod appears to have spectacularly cocked up the arrangements for Durham ::)
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Nod appears to have spectacularly cocked up the arrangements for Durham ::)
I always thought you two were made for each other... whistle:
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Nod appears to have spectacularly cocked up the arrangements for Durham ::)
Is the Edinburgh festival in Durham these days then?
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I am breaking my journey at Durham
Nod went to the University
He gets preferential rates at Durham Castle
We are driving there tomorrow
He returns home on the train on Thursday and I continue to Jockville
OK?
::)
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I am breaking my journey at Durham
Nod went to the University
He gets preferential rates at Durham Castle
We are driving there tomorrow
He returns home on the train on Thursday and I continue to Jockville
OK?
::)
Too much information. noooo:
May we know what Nod studied at Durham?
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History
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Here's another show for you to see. Alex Salmond does stand up.... eeek:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4786154/Alex-Salmond-begins-two-week-Edinburgh-Fringe-comedy-stint.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4786154/Alex-Salmond-begins-two-week-Edinburgh-Fringe-comedy-stint.html)
It seems Salmond has been drawing some fire for his supposedly comedic content. In all honesty I'm not sure if the complaints are genuinely concerning sexism or the fact that it put the image of him doing the horizontal tango with Nicola Sturgeon in their heads... noooo:
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History
All is explained...
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History
All is explained...
lol: lol: lol:
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Lovely view from the top of the Castle Keep.
Pity about the 160 steps up NickSick NickSick NickSick
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Raring to go. My hotel room is "compact".
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Raring to go. My hotel room is "compact".
and bijou...?
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No evil:
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No evil:
Awww... happy100
Any crumbs in the bed like...? rubschin:
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No sad24: sad24: sad24: sad24:
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No sad24: sad24: sad24: sad24:
Easily fixed! :thumbsup:
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There is no room in here for any toast noooo:
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There is no room in here for any toast noooo:
Just take the crumbs... ::)
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Raring to go. My hotel room is "compact".
point: point:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fapi.thumbr.io%2F92d3897e38049b5397c49e04e84ae8f3%2FKhPZbWboUluRxv8PG87L%2Fwww.freepik.com%2Fblog%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2016%2F09%2F03previa-7.jpg%2F900x%2Fthumb.png&hash=8f7888fb7150b7a688707dcf25ef59ba041f02ec)
point: point:
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Raring to go. My hotel room is "compact".
point: point:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fapi.thumbr.io%2F92d3897e38049b5397c49e04e84ae8f3%2FKhPZbWboUluRxv8PG87L%2Fwww.freepik.com%2Fblog%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2016%2F09%2F03previa-7.jpg%2F900x%2Fthumb.png&hash=8f7888fb7150b7a688707dcf25ef59ba041f02ec)
point: point:
happy001
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Kranky size :thumbsup:
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evil: evil:
That pic is rather too close to the truth!
A stressful evening NickSick
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evil: evil:
That pic is rather too close to the truth!
A stressful evening NickSick
How was The Mrs....? Popcorn:
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[/quote]
How was The Mrs....? Popcorn:
[/quote]
Simmering with silent rage tbroughout.
In other news my bed dismantled itself into about 15 pieces in the night. Clambering out of the debris I held onto a chair which also fell apart. I am going to have to complain and explain at the same time. I can hardly move for bits of wood. noooo: noooo:
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How was The Mrs....? Popcorn:
Simmering with silent rage tbroughout.
In other news my bed dismantled itself into about 15 pieces in the night. Clambering out of the debris I held onto a chair which also fell apart. I am going to have to complain and explain at the same time. I can hardly move for bits of wood. noooo: noooo:
lol: lol: lol:
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Rain has stopped. Nowhere to sit in room as no bed and no chair evil:
Going into town to see what happens....
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Gullivers Travels (2017 remake ) ;D
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Gullivers Travels (2017 remake ) ;D
lol: lol: lol:
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My room has been rebuilt but I am not confident noooo:
In other news this is so sodding expensive that I may as well just draw every last penny I have out of the bank and set fire to it to save time.
And in worse news:
(https://s4.postimg.org/6y0zwi9jd/IMG_0667.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/6y0zwi9jd/)
eveilgrin:
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A parallel group from Hull are putting on a "version" of A Midsummer Night's Dream noooo:
I saw it earlier noooo:
Reviewer said:" I thought Shakespeare had been dead for 400 years but I saw im being murdered onstage last night in Edinburgh"
noooo:
happy001
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In other news my bed dismantled itself into about 15 pieces in the night. Clambering out of the debris I held onto a chair which also fell apart. I am going to have to complain and explain at the same time. I can hardly move for bits of wood. noooo: noooo:
Telekenickis... scared2:
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Right, back into the fray..... NickSick
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Oh boy eeek:
1. Go to see the show and there is Mrs Nick still giving me the silent treatment
2. Two thirds of the way through the show one cast member vanishes. The rest soldier on.
3. Sound of sirens and paramedics eeek:
4. Likely girl has been overdoing it.
5. We go off for dinner (me paying ::))
6. Mrs Nick chooses her moment to launch an attack (in front of The Boy) about my "affair" with Miss I: young woman, 26, adultery, Boy has been told all about it by her, yadda yadda.
7. Oddly, I ended up leaving with the Boy as we were going in the same direction and he said, "What the fuck was that all about?"
NickSick NickSick NickSick
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Oh boy eeek:
1. Go to see the show and there is Mrs Nick still giving me the silent treatment
2. Two thirds of the way through the show one cast member vanishes. The rest soldier on.
3. Sound of sirens and paramedics eeek:
4. Likely girl has been overdoing it.
5. We go off for dinner (me paying ::))
6. Mrs Nick chooses her moment to launch an attack (in front of The Boy) about my "affair" with Miss I: young woman, 26, adultery, Boy has been told all about it by her, yadda yadda.
7. Oddly, I ended up leaving with the Boy as we were going in the same direction and he said, "What the fuck was that all about?"
NickSick NickSick NickSick
How much did they hose you for this time...? whistle:
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Sounds like the hotel won't seem too bad a place tonight :thumbsup:
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Quite so, as long as the bed stays in one piece scared2:
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Oh boy eeek:
1. Go to see the show and there is Mrs Nick still giving me the silent treatment
2. Two thirds of the way through the show one cast member vanishes. The rest soldier on.
3. Sound of sirens and paramedics eeek:
4. Likely girl has been overdoing it.
5. We go off for dinner (me paying ::))
6. Mrs Nick chooses her moment to launch an attack (in front of The Boy) about my "affair" with Miss I: young woman, 26, adultery, Boy has been told all about it by her, yadda yadda.
7. Oddly, I ended up leaving with the Boy as we were going in the same direction and he said, "What the fuck was that all about?"
NickSick NickSick NickSick
So Mrs Nick still avidly reads here.
rubschin: In which case Mrs N a special message for you Finger:
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:thumbsup:
I am pleased to report that my bedroom is in one piece. :thumbsup:
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Declare it a sanctuary and stay there 😎
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Declare it a sanctuary and stay there 😎
Declare it a miracle more like! eeek:
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Time to set off. Sent a shirty e mail to Mrs Nick last night eveilgrin: eveilgrin:
Waiting for her reply eveilgrin:
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Time to set off. Sent a shirty e mail to Mrs Nick last night eveilgrin: eveilgrin:
Waiting for her reply eveilgrin:
That's like poking a stick in a wasp's next! scared2:
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Time to set off. Sent a shirty e mail to Mrs Nick last night eveilgrin: eveilgrin:
Waiting for her reply eveilgrin:
scared2: scared2: scared2:
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Just catching up with this adventure eeek:
I would just like to enquire as to what business it is of Mrs Nick what Mr Nick does in his life other than what concerns the boy rubschin:
Mr Nicks relationship with Miss I cloud9: sounds like a jealous woman to me evil:
Perhaps if she took a look at herself and did something to improve her own life she would have less time to stalk Nick cussing:
I have to say I find wimmin like that who feel they have the right to still try to control a partners life when a relationship is over shameful to wimminkind noooo: same of course goes for men evil:
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Nick usually just explains it as she is Catholic lol:
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Nick usually just explains it as she is Catholic lol:
He sent me a messsage last night...
Mrs Nick is fucking certifiable!!
I replied, "well you married her"... whistle:
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Nick usually just explains it as she is Catholic lol:
He sent me a messsage last night...
Mrs Nick is fucking certifiable!!
I replied, "well you married her"... whistle:
Well be fair to Nick. At the time she was probably certifiably fuckable
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Nick usually just explains it as she is Catholic lol:
He sent me a messsage last night...
Mrs Nick is fucking certifiable!!
I replied, "well you married her"... whistle:
Well be fair to Nick. At the time she was probably certifiably fuckable
drumroll:
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redface: redface: Convent skool redface: redface:
Anyway, no reply to my e mail yet whistle: eveilgrin:
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And Pink Sis informs me she is taking her cat to Edinburgh to include in her stand up routine noooo:
What can possibly go wrong?