The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Nick on September 03, 2007, 10:42:55 AM
-
Every weekend the colour supplements seem to feature profiles of people with improbable names who all appear to live in artfully designed palaces, castles, mansions, idyllic country cottages etc. Never a speck of dust or anything out of place.
The net effect of this unwelcome exposure to these alternative "lifestyles" is to create angst. I am quite clear that if we had a gang of photographers from the Sunday Times turning up we would have redecorated, decluttered, chucked out all the old newspapers, bought fresh flowers, hidden The Boy under the patio, sprayed expensive fragrances everywhere, left some clever books artfully arranged on the coffee table and cleared the 17 layer deep notice board.
Most people don't live like that. (do they?)
Why the grump?
The MIL is coming to stay overnight and the spare room (aka my office) has been declared "a pit". Mrs Nick has been scrubbing, dusting, hoovering, mopping, wiping things with damp cloths for the last 3 hours. I have been instructed to "clean the bathroom." Why? The MIL has known her for, er, 53 years and in any case lives surrounded by mountains of tat and old newspapers herself. But no. The job has to be done. My socks are wet, I can see dust floating in the sunlight and the whole room stinks of Jif, Windolene, polish and god knows what else.
I blame the Sunday papers. evil:
-
Agree with you.
Who was that idiot that did the TV programme?
?And who lives in a house like this?? rubschin:
Nobody you tosser ? its all be cleaned up, spruced up and most of the books and ornaments weren?t there a week ago. Banghead
-
A friend of ours lives like it. Their house is like a show home. I dropped in there last week and she and her husband were in the middle of a row because he had left the paper out on the sofa. eeek:
-
Ever been to the Ideal Home exhibition?
-
We've got the builders back again today. The plumber has finished but the chimney repairs continue.
Soot everywhere evil:
Tiler coming on Friday (double evil:)
Then all the rooms to be decorated, including two that had already been done this year ..... because of the fvcking soot fall caused by the chimney repairs (Treble evil:)
Oh the joys of buying an older property 'cos it has "Character" angry037
-
My son and daughter-in-law (and their three daughters) live like that. Everything lasts until the next bin collection and it's gone. Toys, gas bills, treasured photos, papers and tat, it's all gone! eeek:
I kinda approve of the tidiness of it all but they don't know anything about anything because there is never anything to read there. They are reluctant to let the children come over to our house because we (apparently) are too untidy and a bad example whistle:
I try not to let it bother me..... ;D I don't like kids much anyway and I am quite enjoying being eccentric in my dotage.
-
My son and daughter-in-law (and their three daughters) live like that. Everything lasts until the next bin collection and it's gone. Toys, gas bills, treasured photos, papers and tat, it's all gone! eeek:
I kinda approve of the tidiness of it all but they don't know anything about anything because there is never anything to read there. They are reluctant to let the children come over to our house because we (apparently) are too untidy and a bad example whistle:
I try not to let it bother me..... ;D I don't like kids much anyway and I am quite enjoying being eccentric in my dotage.
I simply couldn't live like that! There has to be a happy medium surely.
-
My son and daughter-in-law (and their three daughters) live like that. Everything lasts until the next bin collection and it's gone. Toys, gas bills, treasured photos, papers and tat, it's all gone! eeek:
I kinda approve of the tidiness of it all but they don't know anything about anything because there is never anything to read there. They are reluctant to let the children come over to our house because we (apparently) are too untidy and a bad example whistle:
I try not to let it bother me..... ;D I don't like kids much anyway and I am quite enjoying being eccentric in my dotage.
I simply couldn't live like that! There has to be a happy medium surely.
Doris Stokes was a Happy Medium. ;)
-
My son and daughter-in-law (and their three daughters) live like that. Everything lasts until the next bin collection and it's gone. Toys, gas bills, treasured photos, papers and tat, it's all gone! eeek:
I kinda approve of the tidiness of it all but they don't know anything about anything because there is never anything to read there. They are reluctant to let the children come over to our house because we (apparently) are too untidy and a bad example whistle:
I try not to let it bother me..... ;D I don't like kids much anyway and I am quite enjoying being eccentric in my dotage.
I simply couldn't live like that! There has to be a happy medium surely.
Exactly! I have always been of the opinion that once you allow any facet of your life to alter and dominate your lifestyle then you are a victim of an obsession. In any set of circumstances obsessions are destructive. It usually makes one difficult to live with too.
Even I admit to one! I used to be an administrator in a very dirty steelworks and had to constantly wash my hands to keep my papers readable, It has stuck and forty-five years later I still wash my hands at least forty times a day. I just can't help it. It doesn't bother others too much but causes much hilarity when I am out of reach of a tap.
But I do have a collection of unread books to hand for whenever I feel like it. redface: The shame...
-
My son and daughter-in-law (and their three daughters) live like that. Everything lasts until the next bin collection and it's gone. Toys, gas bills, treasured photos, papers and tat, it's all gone! eeek:
I kinda approve of the tidiness of it all but they don't know anything about anything because there is never anything to read there. They are reluctant to let the children come over to our house because we (apparently) are too untidy and a bad example whistle:
I try not to let it bother me..... ;D I don't like kids much anyway and I am quite enjoying being eccentric in my dotage.
I simply couldn't live like that! There has to be a happy medium surely.
Exactly! I have always been of the opinion that once you allow any facet of your life to alter and dominate your lifestyle then you are a victim of an obsession. In any set of circumstances obsessions are destructive. It usually makes one difficult to live with too.
Even I admit to one! I used to be an administrator in a very dirty steelworks and had to constantly wash my hands to keep my papers readable, It has stuck and forty-five years later I still wash my hands at least forty times a day. I just can't help it. It doesn't bother others too much but causes much hilarity when I am out of reach of a tap.
But I do have a collection of unread books to hand for whenever I feel like it. redface: The shame...
You are Mr. Udall, I claim my ?5 please!
-
confused: But I don't know anything about American Immigration ...
-
confused: But I don't know anything about American Immigration ...
http://www.amazon.co.uk/As-Good-Gets-Jack-Nicholson/dp/B00004CXL8/ref=sr_1_1/203-7486607-4831162?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1188828550&sr=1-1
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fg-ec2.images-amazon.com%2Fimages%2FI%2F41NE13WWRPL._SS500_.jpg&hash=9a84d4f5ddf1c8e578dbcb8dd301c964b16a7ab1)
-
'clean the bathroom' was always my ex's instruction to me whenever we were expecting visiters.
I admit my home is a bit of a tip ~ one man and two children, what else would you expect. When I have a clean and tidy up my daughter will ask who's coming to visit? (and she's right)
-
'clean the bathroom' was always my ex's instruction to me whenever we were expecting visiters.
I admit my home is a bit of a tip ~ one man and two children, what else would you expect. When I have a clean and tidy up my daughter will ask who's coming to visit? (and she's right)
Because you can clean the bathroom without a multitude of questions! Last week Mr Wench and I had a grand tidy and clean of the house. Every five sodding minutes, help me with this, where does this go, what does this do blah blah blah. At least with the bathroom he can't do any damage and he knows that every surface must be cleaned!
-
'clean the bathroom' was always my ex's instruction to me whenever we were expecting visiters.
I admit my home is a bit of a tip ~ one man and two children, what else would you expect. When I have a clean and tidy up my daughter will ask who's coming to visit? (and she's right)
Because you can clean the bathroom without a multitude of questions! Last week Mr Wench and I had a grand tidy and clean of the house. Every five sodding minutes, help me with this, where does this go, what does this do blah blah blah. At least with the bathroom he can't do any damage and he knows that every surface must be cleaned!
Yet another argument in favour of National Service. Two years in the Army at the age of 18 and he would now know how to clean and polish everything. evil:
-
He can clean and polish he just can't tidy, ie. put his and my crap away! evil: Why is it I know where all his rubbish lives and can tidy it up but he doesn't know where mine lives. It's the same with putting away washing. When I do it I do mine and his. When he does it he claims not to know where any of mine lives. ::) You know where the knicker drawer is, can you not at least put those away!?!?
-
He can clean and polish he just can't tidy, ie. put his and my crap away! evil: Why is it I know where all his rubbish lives and can tidy it up but he doesn't know where mine lives. It's the same with putting away washing. When I do it I do mine and his. When he does it he claims not to know where any of mine lives. ::) You know where the knicker drawer is, can you not at least put those away!?!?
His knickers or yours?
-
interchangable they may be Tel eeek:
-
He can clean and polish he just can't tidy, ie. put his and my crap away! evil: Why is it I know where all his rubbish lives and can tidy it up but he doesn't know where mine lives. It's the same with putting away washing. When I do it I do mine and his. When he does it he claims not to know where any of mine lives. ::) You know where the knicker drawer is, can you not at least put those away!?!?
Both. We have seperate knicker drawers and seperate knickers!
His knickers or yours?
-
He can clean and polish he just can't tidy, ie. put his and my crap away! evil: Why is it I know where all his rubbish lives and can tidy it up but he doesn't know where mine lives. It's the same with putting away washing. When I do it I do mine and his. When he does it he claims not to know where any of mine lives. ::) You know where the knicker drawer is, can you not at least put those away!?!?
Oh the answer to that is simple ~ if he can't put them away ..... don't let him wear them
-
Also why do blokes insist on hanging on to underwear that has sooo many holes in it it no longer does the job it was intended to do?
-
Also why do blokes insist on hanging on to underwear that has sooo many holes in it it no longer does the job it was intended to do?
Three reasons:
1. To allow a cooling draught to the nether regions when required (and to provide extra ball room should it be required)
2. To allow easy access to the equipment should this be needed
3. To allow the farts to escape easily
OK?
-
Don't they ahem chafe? redface:
-
Don't they ahem chafe? redface:
Nasty nylon ones do, but then they also create large amounts of static - makes things stand on end redface:
-
Most of mine are pink, following that accident with the red T shirt. Am I bovvered?
-
Also why do blokes insist on hanging on to underwear that has sooo many holes in it it no longer does the job it was intended to do?
Only one reason.
They are comfortable. We get attached to comfortable things.
Any replacement may not be as comfortable and by the time we find that out, the 'comfortable' one have 'disappeared'. evil:
-
Also why do blokes insist on hanging on to underwear that has sooo many holes in it it no longer does the job it was intended to do?
Only one reason.
They are comfortable. We get attached to comfortable things.
Any replacement may not be as comfortable and by the time we find that out, the 'comfortable' one have 'disappeared'. evil:
Mr Wench's disapear slowly. One pair every couple of weeks. redface:
-
Why is this thread now about disappearing underpants? noooo:
-
Why is this thread now about disappearing underpants? noooo:
You tell me?
-
Outstanding post Nick drumroll:
I have been there, done it, seen the film, read the bok and got the bloody T shirt lol:
-
Why is this thread now about disappearing underpants? noooo:
Please Miss, Wenchy started it!
-
Why is this thread now about disappearing underpants? noooo:
Please Miss, Wenchy started it!
That's right Miss ~ That Wenchy .... she's obsessive about knickers. point:
-
Dream homes then.
Or dream knickers perhaps (where is that NO NO NO emoticon when you need it?)
-
Ever been to the Ideal Home exhibition?
I went once - I thought it was shite.
-
We are hovering dangerously close to undergarments again!
-
We are hovering dangerously close to undergarments again!
So whose Knickers would you like to make your dream home in?
-
We are hovering dangerously close to undergarments again!
So whose Knickers would you like to make your dream home in?
That bird on the Special K box... cloud9:
-
Why is this thread now about disappearing underpants? noooo:
Please Miss, Wenchy started it!
That's right Miss ~ That Wenchy .... she's obsessive about knickers. point:
All of a sudden Bridget Wench comes to mind whistle:
-
Why is this thread now about disappearing underpants? noooo:
Please Miss, Wenchy started it!
That's right Miss ~ That Wenchy .... she's obsessive about knickers. point:
All of a sudden Bridget Wench comes to mind whistle:
Once upon a time that was my nickname, and Mr Wench was known as Emotional Fuck-wit. redface:
-
Why is this thread now about disappearing underpants? noooo:
Please Miss, Wenchy started it!
That's right Miss ~ That Wenchy .... she's obsessive about knickers. point:
All of a sudden Bridget Wench comes to mind whistle:
Once upon a time that was my nickname, and Mr Wench was known as Emotional Fuck-wit. redface:
eeek:
-
But no longer, evidently. Wonder what his nickname is now.
-
Why is this thread now about disappearing underpants? noooo:
Please Miss, Wenchy started it!
That's right Miss ~ That Wenchy .... she's obsessive about knickers. point:
All of a sudden Bridget Wench comes to mind whistle:
Once upon a time that was my nickname, and Mr Wench was known as Emotional Fuck-wit. redface:
By whom?
-
Why is this thread now about disappearing underpants? noooo:
Please Miss, Wenchy started it!
That's right Miss ~ That Wenchy .... she's obsessive about knickers. point:
All of a sudden Bridget Wench comes to mind whistle:
Once upon a time that was my nickname, and Mr Wench was known as Emotional Fuck-wit. redface:
By whom?
Myself and my immediate circle of friends. When he stopped being EF-W and became Mr Wench it transpired that a handful of them didn't actually know his real name. redface:
These days he is simply known as Oi! You!, Mr Wench, The Idiot or The Welsh Hobbit.
-
noooo: noooo:
Poor chap. I feel for him.
-
noooo: noooo:
Poor chap. I feel for him.
eeek:
-
These days he is simply known as Oi! You!, Mr Wench, The Idiot or The Welsh Hobbit.
Does he call you his precious by any chance? eeek:
-
Doubtful. Very doubtful.
-
Doubtful. Very doubtful.
Smote!
-
noooo: noooo:
Poor chap. I feel for him.
eeek:
So do I:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.worldslaves.citymax.com%2Fi%2FBall-n-chain-guy_Rubberball.jpg&hash=94736639ca6b18986d74edb1739b174df9a3a73c)
-
point: point: point: point: point: point: point: point: scared2:
-
noooo: noooo:
Poor chap. I feel for him.
eeek:
So do I:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.worldslaves.citymax.com%2Fi%2FBall-n-chain-guy_Rubberball.jpg&hash=94736639ca6b18986d74edb1739b174df9a3a73c)
I'm quite an amicable young lady actually. sad24:
-
These days he is simply known as Oi! You!, Mr Wench, The Idiot or The Welsh Hobbit.
Must be the hairy feet. Saves on shoes though.
-
I quite like Hobbits..... tunble:
-
Well, you are in the right part of the country then
drumroll:
-
Well, you are in the right part of the country then
drumroll:
happy001
-
Poor Mr Wench noooo:
-
Poor me! sad24: