The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Nick on October 13, 2014, 01:45:48 PM

Title: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Nick on October 13, 2014, 01:45:48 PM
in Marmite on Trent. Later in the month. WHat can possibly go wrong?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: apc2010 on October 13, 2014, 01:55:50 PM
in Marmite on Trent. Later in the month. WHat can possibly go wrong?  rubschin:

 rubschin:  new car,,,,,,
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Nick on October 13, 2014, 01:56:25 PM
 :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Barman on October 13, 2014, 02:54:09 PM
I'll miss the owld Sierra....  noooo:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Nick on October 13, 2014, 02:58:49 PM
I will drive it over for LL. It has so many dents you won't even notice  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Barman on October 13, 2014, 03:00:58 PM
I will drive it over for LL. It has so many dents you won't even notice  :thumbsup:

 Thumbs:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Nick on October 13, 2014, 03:09:21 PM
£2000 then  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: apc2010 on October 13, 2014, 03:10:18 PM
£2000 then  :thumbsup:

 eeek:  you could swap it for his van........ Thumbs:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Barman on October 13, 2014, 03:12:20 PM
£2000 then  :thumbsup:

 Shocked:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Nick on October 13, 2014, 03:12:31 PM
With cashback :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Barman on October 13, 2014, 03:14:52 PM
With cashback :thumbsup:

It would need to be £1,999 cashback! ::)
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Nick on October 13, 2014, 03:19:01 PM
Perfick. I will bring £1 in change!!! point: point: point:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: apc2010 on October 13, 2014, 03:20:08 PM
Perfick. I will bring £1 in change!!! point: point: point:

For the vending machine..... Thumbs:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Grumpmeister on October 13, 2014, 04:48:08 PM
£2000 then  :thumbsup:

 Shocked:

To he honest that's pretty reasonable BM, I'd have expected the AA or RAC to charge a hell of a lot more to tow it all the way to Cyprus.  rubschin:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Steve on October 13, 2014, 07:12:31 PM
in Marmite on Trent. Later in the month. WHat can possibly go wrong?  rubschin:

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fdilbert.com%2Fdyn%2Fstr_strip%2F000000000%2F00000000%2F0000000%2F000000%2F00000%2F1000%2F000%2F1059%2F1059.strip.gif&hash=74630ff49c7f5dd4340da08e3e1a788f37ff6f56)


Best of luck BTW
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Nick on October 13, 2014, 07:15:48 PM
Not sure I want it  rubschin:  But kicking some lazy bottoms would be fun :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Barman on October 13, 2014, 07:19:52 PM
in Marmite on Trent. Later in the month. WHat can possibly go wrong?  rubschin:

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fdilbert.com%2Fdyn%2Fstr_strip%2F000000000%2F00000000%2F0000000%2F000000%2F00000%2F1000%2F000%2F1059%2F1059.strip.gif&hash=74630ff49c7f5dd4340da08e3e1a788f37ff6f56)


Best of luck BTW

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Baldy on October 13, 2014, 08:51:09 PM
in Marmite on Trent. Later in the month. WHat can possibly go wrong?  rubschin:

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fdilbert.com%2Fdyn%2Fstr_strip%2F000000000%2F00000000%2F0000000%2F000000%2F00000%2F1000%2F000%2F1059%2F1059.strip.gif&hash=74630ff49c7f5dd4340da08e3e1a788f37ff6f56)


Best of luck BTW

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Nick on October 15, 2014, 04:54:42 PM
Instructions have arrived. As usual  ::) ::)

"Please give us a 5 minute presentation on how you would rearrange the entire known universe with measurable targets"  knitting: knitting:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Steve on October 15, 2014, 05:58:49 PM
Instructions have arrived. As usual  ::) ::)

"Please give us a 5 minute presentation on how you would rearrange the entire known universe with measurable targets"  knitting: knitting:

I guess painting a roundall target with score on each of their foreheads and asking them to stand in front of the Nottingham Homicidal Maniacs Society (AK47 subdivision) would not be an acceptable response.  Would certainly rearrange their perception of the universe though

Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Grumpmeister on October 17, 2014, 05:15:47 PM
WHat can possibly go wrong?  rubschin:

http://youtu.be/1dWMIuipn_c (http://youtu.be/1dWMIuipn_c)

 rubschin:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Nick on October 17, 2014, 05:33:36 PM
Bought lunch for the ex Vice Principal today and got the inside track  whistle: whistle:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: apc2010 on October 17, 2014, 05:34:29 PM
Bought lunch for the ex Vice Principal today and got the inside track  whistle: whistle:

And cake....... rubschin:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Baldy on October 17, 2014, 05:35:51 PM
Bought lunch for the ex Vice Principal today and got the inside track  whistle: whistle:

And cake....... rubschin:

 drumroll:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Grumpmeister on October 17, 2014, 05:36:00 PM
Cake would derail the proceedings Apey  whistle:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Nick on October 17, 2014, 05:36:20 PM
 cussing: cussing:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 17, 2014, 07:35:16 PM
Cake would derail the proceedings Apey  whistle:

Sounds like he was on the pull, man.
redface:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Uncle Mort on October 17, 2014, 07:40:33 PM
 Well, this gag has hit the buffers  noooo:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Steve on October 17, 2014, 07:43:07 PM
Well, this gag has hit the buffers  noooo:
;D

derailed even
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 17, 2014, 07:44:44 PM
Well, this gag has hit the buffers  noooo:
;D

derailed even
:

No points for that post   noooo:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Nick on October 17, 2014, 07:49:55 PM
 cussing:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Steve on October 17, 2014, 07:52:31 PM
Well, this gag has hit the buffers  noooo:
;D

derailed even
:

No points for that post   noooo:
sad32:

 lol:

I won't make my bogie score
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: boogs on October 18, 2014, 11:07:17 AM
Well, this gag has hit the buffers  noooo:
;D

derailed even
:

No points for that post   noooo:
sad32:

 lol:

I won't make my bogie score

groan   noooo:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Nick on October 23, 2014, 08:45:11 AM
Finished my presentation  angel1 angel1

Have decided to set a quiz for the interview panel  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Barman on October 23, 2014, 08:45:53 AM
Finished my presentation  angel1 angel1

Have decided to set a quiz for the interview panel  eveilgrin:

 ;D

Make them Jewish too!  Thumbs:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Nick on October 23, 2014, 08:46:34 AM
 rubschin: rubschin: rubschin:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 23, 2014, 08:52:44 AM
Finished my presentation  angel1 angel1

Have decided to set a quiz for the interview panel  eveilgrin:

 ;D

Make them Jewish too!  Thumbs:

The panel after Mr Nicks interview

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sickchirpse.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2012%2F09%2FUltra-Orthodox-Jews.jpg&hash=221e47e8b84ef7f797596a7691c772c2e9d61b1d)
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Barman on October 23, 2014, 09:01:54 AM
Finished my presentation  angel1 angel1

Have decided to set a quiz for the interview panel  eveilgrin:

 ;D

Make them Jewish too!  Thumbs:

The panel after Mr Nicks interview

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sickchirpse.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2012%2F09%2FUltra-Orthodox-Jews.jpg&hash=221e47e8b84ef7f797596a7691c772c2e9d61b1d)

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Barman on October 23, 2014, 09:12:16 AM
rubschin: rubschin: rubschin:

You could say, "hands up all the Yids in the room"....

...and then say, "WRONG!"  point:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Nick on October 24, 2014, 03:33:26 PM
45 minute interview was scheduled for 12.45. I eventually got out at 2.45  NickSick NickSick NickSick

The Gestapo could learn a few things from that lot  evil: evil:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: apc2010 on October 24, 2014, 03:34:47 PM
45 minute interview was scheduled for 12.45. I eventually got out at 2.45  NickSick NickSick NickSick

The Gestapo could learn a few things from that lot  evil: evil:

And............ rubschin:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Nick on October 24, 2014, 03:36:45 PM
Will find out Monday.  NickSick

One guy on the panel was, Ihad been warned, an UTTER bastard. Even the Chair of the panel said he should lay off the red meat  eeek:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Barman on October 24, 2014, 03:40:30 PM
Will find out Monday.  NickSick

One guy on the panel was, Ihad been warned, an UTTER bastard. Even the Chair of the panel said he should lay off the red meat  eeek:

How was the quiz...?
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Nick on October 24, 2014, 03:42:02 PM
They tried it and all got the wrong answer  eveilgrin: eveilgrin: eveilgrin: eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Barman on October 24, 2014, 03:46:14 PM
They tried it and all got the wrong answer  eveilgrin: eveilgrin: eveilgrin: eveilgrin:

Q1: Are you Jewish?
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: apc2010 on October 24, 2014, 03:49:21 PM
They tried it and all got the wrong answer  eveilgrin: eveilgrin: eveilgrin: eveilgrin:

Q1: Are you Jewish?

 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Nick on October 24, 2014, 03:51:26 PM
My convert is back  ::)
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Barman on October 24, 2014, 04:03:45 PM
My convert is back  ::)

 point:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Grumpmeister on October 24, 2014, 04:11:14 PM
Will find out Monday.  NickSick

One guy on the panel was, Ihad been warned, an UTTER bastard. Even the Chair of the panel said he should lay off the red meat  eeek:

How far in advance were you warned about the guy? I've had a couple of interviews where someone plays that role just so that they can see how you react to them.  rubschin:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Nick on October 24, 2014, 04:38:39 PM
I was warned. I was merciless  eveilgrin: eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Nick on October 24, 2014, 05:07:22 PM
More  NickSick NickSick  Dinner and home  NickSick NickSick
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: apc2010 on October 24, 2014, 05:12:43 PM
More  NickSick NickSick  Dinner and home  NickSick NickSick

Wot about the hotel..... eyes:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Nick on October 24, 2014, 05:15:34 PM
Doc here on a conference. I am visiting  angel1
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Grumpmeister on October 24, 2014, 05:21:00 PM
I was warned. I was merciless  eveilgrin: eveilgrin:

Mong the merciless you say...  rubschin:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Nick on October 27, 2014, 10:46:06 AM
Waiting for the phone call  scared2:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Barman on October 27, 2014, 11:12:28 AM
Waiting for the phone call  scared2:

From Ahmed...?  whistle:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Nick on October 27, 2014, 11:13:13 AM
 eeek:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Barman on October 27, 2014, 11:14:52 AM
 whistle:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Nick on October 27, 2014, 11:18:59 AM
I see he has published his certificate on his website, like  whistle:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Grumpmeister on October 27, 2014, 01:13:05 PM
So just like you, he is now certifiable?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: apc2010 on October 27, 2014, 01:13:48 PM
So just like you, he is now certifiable?  rubschin:

 drumroll:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Nick on October 27, 2014, 01:14:17 PM
 evil:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Nick on October 27, 2014, 06:03:43 PM
 Shrugs:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Barman on October 27, 2014, 06:27:08 PM
 tunble:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Nick on October 27, 2014, 06:29:38 PM
It takes less time to choose a Pope  noooo: noooo:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Barman on October 27, 2014, 06:31:41 PM
Perhaps they lost your phone number like....  whistle:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Steve on October 27, 2014, 07:11:47 PM
It takes less time to choose a Pope  noooo: noooo:
or become a Rabbi
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Nick on October 27, 2014, 07:12:19 PM
 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Nick on October 28, 2014, 02:29:05 PM
 tunble: tunble:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Barman on October 28, 2014, 02:36:59 PM
Phone them up and ask if it is because you are an ginger.....  Thumbs:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Nick on October 28, 2014, 02:37:44 PM
 cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: apc2010 on October 28, 2014, 02:46:52 PM
Phone them up and ask if it is because you are an ginger.....  Thumbs:


 ;D ;D   redface:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Nick on October 28, 2014, 03:00:13 PM
 Spank2: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Nick on October 29, 2014, 10:44:00 AM
 tunble: tunble:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Barman on October 29, 2014, 11:10:29 AM
Call them! ::)
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Nick on October 29, 2014, 11:10:59 AM
NO  evil:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Barman on October 29, 2014, 12:36:18 PM
Mr. Nose...? Say 'goodbye' to Mr. Face.... ::)
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 29, 2014, 01:24:07 PM
Mr. Nose...? Say 'goodbye' to Mr. Face.... ::)
happy001 happy001
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Steve on October 29, 2014, 02:46:48 PM
NO  evil:
:thumbsup:

You call them it will do no good plus they will assume you're desperate and (a) wonder what's wrong with you and (b) if you'll take the job for 20% less

A tough it out time - and a look for plan B time too
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 29, 2014, 02:49:50 PM
NO  evil:
:thumbsup:

You call them it will do no good plus they will assume you're desperate and (a) wonder what's wrong with you and (b) if you'll take the job for 20% less

A tough it out time - and a look for plan B time too

They will have reached (a) at the interview.
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Steve on October 29, 2014, 02:53:43 PM
NO  evil:
:thumbsup:

You call them it will do no good plus they will assume you're desperate and (a) wonder what's wrong with you and (b) if you'll take the job for 20% less

A tough it out time - and a look for plan B time too

They will have reached (a) at the interview.
ah yes

please substitute these all new words

and (a) wonder what else is wrong with you and (b) if you'll take the job for 20% less
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Nick on October 29, 2014, 02:54:35 PM
 evil: evil:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Nick on October 29, 2014, 05:56:41 PM
Yay  Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001:

Didn't get it!
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Barman on October 29, 2014, 05:59:58 PM
Yay  Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001:

Didn't get it!

You called didn't you?  point:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Nick on October 29, 2014, 06:01:00 PM
 ::)  They just e mailed. ::)
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Barman on October 29, 2014, 06:16:06 PM
::)  They just e mailed. ::)

 char048
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Nick on October 29, 2014, 06:18:37 PM
 horn: horn:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Barman on October 29, 2014, 06:21:45 PM
You shouldn't have worn that "This is what a ginge looks like" tee shirt....  noooo:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Nick on October 29, 2014, 06:24:21 PM
 ::) ::)  Rather smart suit ackchooly. Praps I shouldn't have argued with the panel  rubschin:

Anyhoo, too experienced and over qualified apparently. Must tell that to the consultant next time I need brain surgery  ::)
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Steve on October 29, 2014, 06:30:42 PM
 :thumbsup:   I think

The big loser in all this is probably the rest of us.  The stories you could have told.  Ah well
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Barman on October 29, 2014, 06:33:09 PM
::) ::)  Rather smart suit ackchooly. Praps I shouldn't have argued with the panel  rubschin:

Anyhoo, too experienced and over qualified apparently. Must tell that to the consultant next time I need brain surgery  ::)

We always used to say that to rejects when we ran the business in the UK....

I wanted to say, "Practice saying 'do you want fries with that?'" but LL wouldn't let me...  noooo:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Nick on October 29, 2014, 06:34:11 PM
:thumbsup:   I think

The big loser in all this is probably the rest of us.  The stories you could have told.  Ah well
Fortunately I have a new contract with Vince Cable's department. Prepare for a total clusterfuck noooo:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Steve on October 29, 2014, 06:35:26 PM
:thumbsup:   I think

The big loser in all this is probably the rest of us.  The stories you could have told.  Ah well
Fortunately I have a new contract with Vince Cable's department. Prepare for a total clusterfuck noooo:
;D
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: boogs on October 29, 2014, 08:21:59 PM

Fortunately I have a new contract with Vince Cable's department. Prepare for a total clusterfuck noooo:
[/quote]

 scared2: scared2: scared2:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Baldy on October 29, 2014, 10:47:03 PM
Why do you not throw in "Is it coz I'm an ginger?" card and then apply for whooooge compensashion?

They can all go on a retraining course for eight years (plus holidays) and come back to pretend they might like you, should you re-apply and you get squillions as a payout.....everyone is a winner unless you are a normal werker.  Thumbs:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Barman on October 30, 2014, 07:07:49 AM
Why do you not throw in "Is it coz I'm an ginger?" card and then apply for whooooge compensashion?

They can all go on a retraining course for eight years (plus holidays) and come back to pretend they might like you, should you re-apply and you get squillions as a payout.....everyone is a winner unless you are a normal werker.  Thumbs:

 lol: lol: lol: Thumbs:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Nick on October 30, 2014, 12:06:04 PM
They didn't appoint anyone, it seems.  rubschin:  But they have offered me some consultancy work  cloud9:  At £500 a day  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Barman on October 30, 2014, 12:09:41 PM
They didn't appoint anyone, it seems.  rubschin:  But they have offered me some consultancy work  cloud9:  At £500 a day  :thumbsup:

Ker-CHING!  Thumbs:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Nick on October 30, 2014, 12:10:51 PM
+ expenses  whistle:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: apc2010 on October 30, 2014, 12:13:01 PM
+ expenses  whistle:

Lend us a fiver........ Thumbs:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Nick on October 30, 2014, 12:16:53 PM

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs15.postimg.org%2Fr26em2bt3%2F5euro_Alban.jpg&hash=e86e0316455469637081870803e1044b41c8d5f8) (http://postimg.org/image/r26em2bt3/) :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Steve on October 30, 2014, 12:44:45 PM
+ expenses  whistle:
:thumbsup:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Nick on October 30, 2014, 12:48:02 PM
HMRC rates  cloud9:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 30, 2014, 01:20:37 PM
They didn't appoint anyone, it seems.  rubschin:  But they have offered me some consultancy work 

Weeding out the no-hopers from the next set of applicants?
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Nick on October 30, 2014, 01:44:26 PM
 angel1

They want some work on geo demographics ackchooly  whistle: whistle:
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Darwins Selection on October 30, 2014, 02:00:52 PM
angel1

They want some work on geo demographics ackchooly  whistle: whistle:

To establish from which part of the country the least suitable candidates come?
Title: Re: Mr Nick has an job interview
Post by: Nick on October 30, 2014, 02:05:09 PM
 evil: