The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: GROWLER on May 07, 2007, 04:04:02 PM

Title: Snoggin'
Post by: GROWLER on May 07, 2007, 04:04:02 PM
Dunno if it's me age or what, but I find snoggin' totally repulsive.  

Was in Asda the other night, and there was this young couple who had to have a cuddle and snog inbetween every item being placed in the trolley.  
God, I wanted to puke.  

Felt like tapping him on the shoulder to suggest he just gave her a 'good sorting' there and then over the fish counter.
Give me strength.
Title: Re: Snoggin'
Post by: Barman on May 07, 2007, 05:32:41 PM
Dunno if it's me age or what, but I find snoggin' totally repulsive.  

Was in Asda the other night, and there was this young couple who had to have a cuddle and snog inbetween every item being placed in the trolley.  
God, I wanted to puke.  

Felt like tapping him on the shoulder to suggest he just gave her a 'good sorting' there and then over the fish counter.
Give me strength.
Young people that can?t control their urges in public can be quite repulsive?  sick2:
Title: Re: Snoggin'
Post by: Snoopy on May 07, 2007, 06:12:15 PM
I hear that people pay good money to watch that sort of thing.
Title: Re: Snoggin'
Post by: Barman on May 07, 2007, 06:15:56 PM
I hear that people pay good money to watch that sort of thing.
Indeed, I?ve seen one of those shows.  sick2:

But if a couple are playing tongue tennis in the local supermarket or pub that?s a big no-no.  noooo:
Title: Re: Snoggin'
Post by: Misunderstood on May 07, 2007, 11:34:00 PM
Public snogging is an utterly repulsive pastime.

When someone else is doing it...

Somehow it didn't seem quite so bad when I was doing it.  redface:
Title: Re: Snoggin'
Post by: Nick on May 10, 2007, 07:40:43 AM
Yes, I saw two youngsters at it like hoovers in mid pavement in Worcester the other day.  Why do you never have a pail of cold water to hand when you need one? evil:
Title: Re: Snoggin'
Post by: Barman on May 10, 2007, 07:42:04 AM
Yes, I saw two youngsters at it like hoovers in mid pavement in Worcester the other day.  Why do you never have a pail of cold water to hand when you need one? evil:
Aaaah... young love.  sick2:
Title: Re: Snoggin'
Post by: Bar Wench on May 10, 2007, 08:05:17 AM
I was going to say I never did such a thing. And then a vague memory crept in of me and the BF at the time being hooted at on a road in Cambridge. I blame afternoon drinking.  redface:

Mr Wench isn't one for PDAs so no public snogging goes on these days. And I must say the couple that were at it in the supermarket queue last night were vomititious. You could hear the slurpping!  sick2:
Title: Re: Snoggin'
Post by: Barman on May 10, 2007, 08:11:01 AM
You could hear the slurpping!  sick2:

Um, what exactly where they up to?  whistle:
Title: Re: Snoggin'
Post by: Uncle Mort on May 10, 2007, 08:35:59 AM
With my situation it's like eating in front of a starving man.    
Title: Re: Snoggin'
Post by: Barman on May 10, 2007, 08:37:29 AM
With my situation it's like eating in front of a starving man.
lol: lol: lol:

Sounds like you need to order your groceries on line then?
Title: Re: Snoggin'
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 10, 2007, 08:43:35 AM
I was going to say I never did such a thing. And then a vague memory crept in of me and the BF at the time being hooted at on a road in Cambridge. I blame afternoon drinking.  redface:

Mr Wench isn't one for PDAs so no public snogging goes on these days. And I must say the couple that were at it in the supermarket queue last night were vomititious. You could hear the slurpping!  sick2:
None of my business of course, but I note you refer to BF and Mr Wench as separate personae.

Did I missed something?

Have you married Stephen Hawking for his money but kept a horny-handed son of the soil for your own pleasure? eyes:
Title: Re: Snoggin'
Post by: GROWLER on May 10, 2007, 09:21:27 AM
Timetable of luurve:

0-14 days. Look at each other nervously. Dare I, don't I?
14-21 days. First snog in private quickly followed by first fumble, thinking 'this IS luurve. ::)
21-28 days. First shag and can't keep my eyes of her. Have to snog and fondle at EVERY opportunity....including in the supermarket. ::)
1-6 months. Novelty slowly starts to wear off and reduced to holding hands and snoggin' in private only.
6-72 months. Have to do the 'right thing'. Get married, get lumbered  with a 25 year mortgage and 2.5 two legged mortgages for life.
72 months onwards. Find a bit of 'new fluff' and start all over again.

FFS. Don't we EVER learn? sad24:
Title: Re: Snoggin'
Post by: Snoopy on May 10, 2007, 09:23:55 AM
Timetable of luurve:

0-14 days. Look at each other nervously. Dare I, don't I?
14-21 days. First snog in private quickly followed by first fumble, thinking 'this IS luurve. ::)
21-28 days. First shag and can't keep my eyes of her. Have to snog and fondle at EVERY opportunity....including in the supermarket. ::)
1-6 months. Novelty slowly starts to wear off and reduced to holding hands and snoggin' in private only.
6-72 months. Have to do the 'right thing'. Get married, get lumbered  with a 25 year mortgage and 2.5 two legged mortgages for life.
72 months onwards. Find a bit of 'new fluff' and start all over again.

FFS. Don't we EVER learn? sad24:


I am living testament to the truth of that.
Title: Re: Snoggin'
Post by: Bar Wench on May 10, 2007, 09:48:37 AM
I was going to say I never did such a thing. And then a vague memory crept in of me and the BF at the time being hooted at on a road in Cambridge. I blame afternoon drinking.  redface:

Mr Wench isn't one for PDAs so no public snogging goes on these days. And I must say the couple that were at it in the supermarket queue last night were vomititious. You could hear the slurpping!  sick2:
None of my business of course, but I note you refer to BF and Mr Wench as separate personae.

Did I missed something?

Have you married Stephen Hawking for his money but kept a horny-handed son of the soil for your own pleasure? eyes:


Previous BF, an ex. Mr Wench is current BF.

Stephen Hawking is a pervert! What first attracted me to multimillionare Stephen Hawking?  eyes: You would have to have a bit on the side though wouldn't you.  :)
Title: Re: Snoggin'
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 10, 2007, 10:23:17 AM
Previous BF, an ex. Mr Wench is current BF.

Oh much clearer. ::)

"An Ex. Mr Wench" rather than " The Ex. Mr Wench" makes it sound as if you have a number to choose from.

You aren't Zsa Zsa Gabor by any chance are you?


As for 'having a bit on the side of Stephen Hawking', that sounds like one of those docking stations you got with old laptops.
 sick2:
Title: Re: Snoggin'
Post by: Bar Wench on May 10, 2007, 10:27:09 AM
There are no divorced Mr Wenches, just ex BF Mr Wenches. Doesn't everyone have a few of those.
Title: Re: Snoggin'
Post by: Barman on May 10, 2007, 10:28:12 AM
There are no divorced Mr Wenches, just ex BF Mr Wenches. Doesn't everyone have a few of those.
I certainly don't!  eeek:
Title: Re: Snoggin'
Post by: Nick on May 10, 2007, 10:29:11 AM
I don't have any ex BFs eeek:

Though I did see a remarkable transvestite yesterday in Hereford. Frock, wig, falsies and a beard!
Title: Re: Snoggin'
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 10, 2007, 10:29:49 AM
There are no divorced Mr Wenches, just ex BF Mr Wenches. Doesn't everyone have a few of those.
Speaking personally, no.

They do sound cheaper though.
Title: Re: Snoggin'
Post by: Bar Wench on May 10, 2007, 10:31:29 AM
Well, ex GFs then! ::) If you will all be obtuse!


Transvestites with beards! Fabulous! Not just a hirsute woman then?
Title: Re: Snoggin'
Post by: Nick on May 10, 2007, 10:32:50 AM
It was amazing. "She" was working as a receptionist at the place I was visiting. "She" is also blind!

You couldn't make this stuff up. Same place where I met the woman with the "backwards" watch!!
Title: Re: Snoggin'
Post by: GROWLER on May 16, 2007, 09:06:20 PM
Timetable of luurve:

0-14 days. Look at each other nervously. Dare I, don't I?

21-28 days. First shag and can't keep my eyes of her. Have to snog and fondle at EVERY opportunity....including in the supermarket. ::)



I am one cruel cynical bastard. Official. eveilgrin:

Had to go down to the Asda tonight to stock up on Red Bull, Lucozade tablets and Pro plus....all on the quacks recommendation believe it or not...I digress.

Whilst quietly mulling and shuffling through the vast array of boxes of stuff, I noticed a young couple aged about 16 ish standing nervously behind me.....holding hands. How sweet I though sick2:
I continued rummaging undistracted like an 'ungary Armadillo who'd discovered a vibrant ants nest, checking the use by dates on the boxes at the back of the display to see if they were any fresher than the stale shite they usually put at the front.
Not finding exactly what I was looking for, I moved along a shelf or two, casually manouvering myself between this now very sheepish insanely grinning and decidedly nervous looking young couple.
Looking up to the top shelf and I suddenly realised what all the fuss was about.
A vast array of nodders and 'gel' ;)

I therefore felt under total obligation to carry on rummaging for a good further few minutes to see if they'd make their move.whistle:
They didn't sadly, as I was all ready to make the 'have a nice night' comment to them.
I stared at the pair of their very red faces and moved away to the next aisle, turned around to go back and the pair of them were making a hasty retreat to the 'pay for it yourself' check out...small boxes in hand. point:
I'd swear he was walking with a limp of 'frustration' too. eyes:

 
Title: Re: Snoggin'
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on February 11, 2011, 06:13:33 PM
In a checkout queue once there was a younger man standing behind me.  he loaded a packet of twenty four  and a bottle of wine onto the conveyor belt.  I suggested that he might need more than a bottle of wine.
Title: Re: Snoggin'
Post by: Snoopy on February 11, 2011, 06:14:25 PM
In a checkout queue once there was a younger man standing behind me.  he loaded a packet of twenty four  and a bottle of wine onto the conveyor belt.  I suggested that he might need more than a bottle of wine.


Did he take the bait?  Popcorn:
Title: Re: Snoggin'
Post by: Nick on February 11, 2011, 06:16:19 PM
Did he go back for some melons?
Title: Re: Snoggin'
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on February 11, 2011, 06:26:09 PM
Hen just looked embarrassed can't imagine why. whistle:
Title: Re: Snoggin'
Post by: Nick on February 11, 2011, 06:29:37 PM
He had a hen with him?  eeek:

As Frankie HOwerd once remarked: "Erotic is with a feather, kinky involves the whole chicken."