The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Nick on April 26, 2014, 04:56:45 PM
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Right. On Monday (at early o'clock) I start my first full time (interim) job in 17 years.
Bonkers boss. Difficult staff. Angry university. Paperwork fooked. 2 staff on long term sick (stress) and 2 others resigned.
What can possibly go wrong?
I give it 48 hours rubschin:
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What happened to the 10k a month job..... rubschin:
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It is this job. I get paid more than my bonkers boss eveilgrin:
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It is this job. I get paid more than my bonkers boss eveilgrin:
Should this not be in..Bizare Things You Are Paying For thread? noooo:
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rubschin:
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Recommend they all get sacked and get their snouts out of the trough. Thumbs:
You might be up for a pay rise for getting rid of leaches. Thumbs:
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Suit: check
New shirt: check
New socks: check
Shoes: check
Tie: check
Map: um (note to self)
Power briefcase: check
Sharp pencils: check
Alarm set for early o'clock: check
scared2:
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Good luck. Thumbs:
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Good luck. Thumbs:
seconded
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I may not last the week noooo: I may not even last the day noooo:
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Updates required,,,,,,, Thumbs:
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Forgot to mention there is a rather attractive eyes: lady on my team. She is double jointed. She was talking to me the other day and was rotating her arms from the elbow eeek: in the manner of helichopper blades eeek: eeek:
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Forgot to mention there is a rather attractive eyes: lady on my team. She is double jointed. She was talking to me the other day and was rotating her arms from the elbow eeek: in the manner of helichopper blades eeek: eeek:
Did she succeed in fighting you off?
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Forgot to mention there is a rather attractive eyes: lady on my team. She is double jointed. She was talking to me the other day and was rotating her arms from the elbow eeek: in the manner of helichopper blades eeek: eeek:
Did she succeed in fighting you off?
The relationship never took off....... whistle:
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Forgot to mention there is a rather attractive eyes: lady on my team. She is double jointed. She was talking to me the other day and was rotating her arms from the elbow eeek: in the manner of helichopper blades eeek: eeek:
Did she succeed in fighting you off?
The relationship never took off....... whistle:
hover would believe it
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I have a 1:1 with her on Wednesday eyes:
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I have a 1:1 with her on Wednesday eyes:
footy match...... rubschin:
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I have a 1:1 with her on Wednesday eyes:
those threesomes are so passe nowadays you say
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I have a 1:1 with her on Wednesday eyes:
Surely you can get better odds than that.
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I have a 1:1 with her on Wednesday eyes:
Surely you can get better odds than that.
drumroll:
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evil:
If only Tipsy was here noooo: sad24:
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Keeping his chopper firmly in his 'cockpit' was the correct thing to do, orifice relationships never work out, it would only end in tears noooo:
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lol: lol: lol:
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Forgot to mention there is a rather attractive eyes: lady on my team. She is double jointed. She was talking to me the other day and was rotating her arms from the elbow eeek: in the manner of helichopper blades eeek: eeek:
Did she succeed in fighting you off?
The relationship never took off....... whistle:
What was your pitch? Was it collective? You will need to establish a rota . . .
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YAWn
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YAWn
I'll be HEADING off then shall I?
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Capital :thumbsup:
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Back to "werk" at early o'clock tomorrow. Have a meeting with Helichopper Gerl first thing. She has a problem she needs me to resolve rubschin:
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Back to "werk" at early o'clock tomorrow. Have a meeting with Helichopper Gerl first thing. She has a problem she needs me to resolve rubschin:
Translation, "I cocked something up before going on holiday and now I need to fix it." rubschin:
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Not me angel1
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Not me angel1
rubschin:
rubschin:
rubschin:
happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001
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Can't work out at the mo if they want to extend the contract or send me away next week. Everyone is in headless chicken mode noooo:
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My contract has been extended till Christmas 2015. cloud9:
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My contract has been extended till Christmas 2015. cloud9:
:thumbsup:
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My contract has been extended till Christmas 2015. cloud9:
Nice one Tipsy :thumbsup:
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My sentence has been extended till Christmas 2015 for bad behaviour. cloud9:
whistle:
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All gone quiet...... rubschin:
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Chaos there. There is now a power vacuum and I have seized control eveilgrin: I have sorted out about 10 problems today that have been hanging around for months as no one dared to take them on angel1
Whether this hastens my demise or prolongs my tenure I have no clue rubschin:
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Chaos there. There is now a power vacuum and I have seized control eveilgrin: I have sorted out about 10 problems today that have been hanging around for months as no one dared to take them on angel1
Whether this hastens my demise or prolongs my tenure I have no clue rubschin:
Go for it :thumbsup:
Better to have tried.
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I have to say that my staff are thrilled to see stuff getting sorted out. My boss got sacked and her boss is a dead man walking. Only bod above him is the CEO who is in the bunker and not been seen for weeks. I doubt anyone upstairs knows what I do or even knows I exist. I am looking after my staff and students and about to launch myself at the jumped up pricks at the university eveilgrin: What japes :thumbsup:
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As the phrase goes: "seize the day"
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eveilgrin: eveilgrin: I am enjoying myself eveilgrin:
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Chaos there. There is now a power vacuum and I have seized control eveilgrin: I have sorted out about 10 problems today that have been hanging around for months as no one dared to take them on angel1
Whether this hastens my demise or prolongs my tenure I have no clue rubschin:
:thumbsup: Go Mr Nick happ096
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I have had to see about four other managers today as part of my mission. I tell them what I am doing and why and what I need They have jumped to help me as they regard the work as long overdue. There is some eye rolling involved as they dare not say what they think through terror of "Her Upstairs". noooo: Hey, I am temporary. I feel liberated :thumbsup:
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I have had to see about four other managers today as part of my mission. I tell them what I am doing and why and what I need They have jumped to help me as they regard the work as long overdue. There is some eye rolling involved as they dare not say what they think through terror of "Her Upstairs". noooo: Hey, I am temporary. I feel liberated :thumbsup:
:thumbsup: :thumbsup:
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I have had to see about four other managers today as part of my mission. I tell them what I am doing and why and what I need They have jumped to help me as they regard the work as long overdue. There is some eye rolling involved as they dare not say what they think through terror of "Her Upstairs". noooo: Hey, I am temporary. I feel liberated :thumbsup:
:thumbsup: :thumbsup:
Thumbs: Thumbs:
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I have had to see about four other managers today as part of my mission. I tell them what I am doing and why and what I need They have jumped to help me as they regard the work as long overdue. There is some eye rolling involved as they dare not say what they think through terror of "Her Upstairs". noooo: Hey, I am temporary. I feel liberated :thumbsup:
Ensign Kowalsky is beamed down to the planet alone. noooo:
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scared2: scared2: In the red jumper? scared2: scared2:
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scared2: scared2: In the red jumper? scared2: scared2:
That's the one. alien: wave:
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scared2: scared2: In the red jumper? scared2: scared2:
That's the one. alien: wave:
happy001
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I discover I have been summoned to the CEO's underground bunker scared2: scared2:
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I discover I have been summoned to the CEO's underground bunker scared2: scared2:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cartoonstock.com%2Fnewscartoons%2Fcartoonists%2Fgro%2Flowres%2Flaw-order-emails-electronic_mail-firing_squads-executions-executors-gron199l.jpg&hash=900cf19ad9e29a5e140bec584f6544ce58244bea)
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:lol:
______________________________
Your local friendly tapatalking heretic
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I discover I have been summoned to the CEO's underground bunker scared2: scared2:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.westhamfan.net%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2014%2F01%2FLambs-2-Slaughter.jpg&hash=39aab25f1dac5c26f9b16ec67fe7d93372db0afc)
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(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs29.postimg.org%2F3ylyinpsz%2Fkick.jpg&hash=771b9e4645cb178e56e223559077506988d8c8d9) (http://postimg.org/image/3ylyinpsz/)
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I discover I have been summoned to the CEO's underground bunker scared2: scared2:
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.westhamfan.net%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2014%2F01%2FLambs-2-Slaughter.jpg&hash=39aab25f1dac5c26f9b16ec67fe7d93372db0afc)
happy001
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(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs29.postimg.org%2F3ylyinpsz%2Fkick.jpg&hash=771b9e4645cb178e56e223559077506988d8c8d9) (http://postimg.org/image/3ylyinpsz/)
happy001
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We had coffee and biscuits cloud9:
Meanwhile:
Good afternoon all
In order to provide a realistic working environment for our learners and to ensure they are work ready, we will be running a work experience activity from 16 to 26 June; during which the motor vehicle learners will be working with tutors to provide a service to staff of the College.
This service (please see the attached leaflet) will provide an interior and exterior valet, plus safety inspection (much like a pre-MOT check) to check the safety and serviceability of your vehicle (a garage would possible charge over an hour’s labour for this).
Learners will book in the vehicles, process the paperwork and then, under the supervision of qualified staff, they will provide a report on your vehicle (which will need to be with us for the day and which you can collect from us, at the end of the day, via our reception).
The ‘charge’ for this service is £3; which the College will then donate to charity.
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free joyriding for the tutors and Nick followed by "your clutch's knackered mate" you say
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We had coffee and biscuits cloud9:
Meanwhile:
Good afternoon all
In order to provide a realistic working environment for our learners and to ensure they are work ready, we will be running a work experience activity from 16 to 26 June; during which the motor vehicle learners will be working with tutors to provide a service to staff of the College.
This service (please see the attached leaflet) will provide an interior and exterior valet, plus safety inspection (much like a pre-MOT check) to check the safety and serviceability of your vehicle (a garage would possible charge over an hour’s labour for this).
Learners will book in the vehicles, process the paperwork and then, under the supervision of qualified staff, they will provide a report on your vehicle (which will need to be with us for the day and which you can collect from us, at the end of the day, via our reception).
The ‘charge’ for this service is £3; which the College will then donate to charity.
I feel sorry for the taxpayers. noooo:
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free joyriding for the tutors and Nick followed by "your clutch's knackered mate" you say
lol: lol: lol:
And your tyres are all shagged out now....
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I feel sorry for the taxpayers. noooo:
Thanks Oh Bald One :thumbsup:
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I pay tax angel1
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I pay tax angel1
Of course you do.
As the late, great Benjamin Franklin once wrote "but in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes."
I'm sure your accountant keeps it to minimum though.
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Do you want her number? rubschin: rubschin:
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Hour long appointment with The Boss tomorrow scared2:
Seems she wants advice on how to go freelance happy001 happy001 happy001
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Hour long appointment with The Boss tomorrow scared2:
Seems she wants advice on how to go freelance happy001 happy001 happy001
You need a holiday like.... Thumbs:
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Like Morocco during Ramadan ? evil:
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Like Morocco during Ramadan ? evil:
We-elll..... whistle:
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Start of my last week sad24: sad24: But they may want me back in September :thumbsup:
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Start of my last week sad24: sad24: But they may want me back in September :thumbsup:
Well you lasted and got a crap load of dosh......... Thumbs:
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Start of my last week sad24: sad24: But they may want me back in September :thumbsup:
You need a holiday like! Thumbs:
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Take a twilight stroll around the Place Jemaa El Fna, Marrakesh's busy centre. You will find an exotic and medieval atmosphere with storytellers, jugglers, animal leaders and, above all, fire-eaters whose flaming jets rip through the Moroccan night to the sounds of traditional music. A unique experience, a trip back in time impossible to share elsewhere.
scared2:
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Have you been radicalised too ? rubschin:
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Take a twilight stroll around the Place Jemaa El Fna, Marrakesh's busy centre. You will find an exotic and medieval atmosphere with storytellers, jugglers, animal leaders and, above all, fire-eaters whose flaming jets rip through the Moroccan night to the sounds of traditional music. A unique experience, a trip back in time impossible to share elsewhere.
scared2:
You will be safe with one of these ;D
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs4.postimg.org%2F5w8byzbp5%2Fimages_CA92_COYD.jpg&hash=a159e94d53258f698e1a789864325fc7e259b898) (http://postimage.org/)
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Take a twilight stroll around the Place Jemaa El Fna, Marrakesh's busy centre. You will find an exotic and medieval atmosphere with storytellers, jugglers, animal leaders and, above all, fire-eaters whose flaming jets rip through the Moroccan night to the sounds of traditional music. A unique experience, a trip back in time impossible to share elsewhere.
scared2:
You want to watch out for those animal leaders.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi7.cdnds.net%2F13%2F48%2F450x450%2Funknown_1.jpeg&hash=53c55d674d7a7f20a198539d9fe195b021af512f)
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Take a twilight stroll around the Place Jemaa El Fna, Marrakesh's busy centre. You will find an exotic and medieval atmosphere with storytellers, jugglers, animal leaders and, above all, fire-eaters whose flaming jets rip through the Moroccan night to the sounds of traditional music. A unique experience, a trip back in time impossible to share elsewhere.
scared2:
You want to watch out for those animal leaders.
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi7.cdnds.net%2F13%2F48%2F450x450%2Funknown_1.jpeg&hash=53c55d674d7a7f20a198539d9fe195b021af512f)
;D ;D
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Take a twilight stroll around the Place Jemaa El Fna, Marrakesh's busy centre. You will find an exotic and medieval atmosphere with storytellers, jugglers, animal leaders and, above all, fire-eaters whose flaming jets rip through the Moroccan night to the sounds of traditional music. A unique experience, a trip back in time impossible to share elsewhere.
scared2:
So we are going to have Nick in close proximity to fire eaters and their flaming jets.........................................what's the worst that can happen? scared2:
rubschin:
rubschin:
Hey BM is there enough time for you to knock up some 'Collateral Damage Bingo' cards. You could even use the old CDB signage. :thumbsup:
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I have been invited to go back, like. rubschin: rubschin: This time for a YEAR!!! eeek:
Hard decision to be made rubschin:
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I have been invited to go back, like. rubschin: rubschin: This time for a YEAR!!! eeek:
Hard decision to be made rubschin:
We can flip a coin for you
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.emofaces.com%2Fen%2Femoticons%2Fc%2Fcoin-flip-emoticon.gif&hash=c60080070fbc1fc552cc3392ae4b8a629c05f5a7)
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1. I am quite busy on projects (600 a day)
2. I get a pension in January
3. It's a 50K figure rubschin:
4. It's a 70 mile daily round trip
5. The department is staffed by mongs who need a kick up the arse :thumbsup:
6. I would need a new car rubschin:
7. Might make sense to rent a flat in Burton during the week rubschin:
8. DO I really want a FT job for a year?
9. The boss is a cunt and would need to be dealt with eveilgrin:
There are some evil possibilities here eveilgrin: eveilgrin:
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1. I am quite busy on projects (600 a day)
2. I get a pension in January
3. It's a 50K figure rubschin:
4. It's a 70 mile daily round trip
5. The department is staffed by mongs who need a kick up the arse :thumbsup:
6. I would need a new car rubschin:
7. Might make sense to rent a flat in Burton during the week rubschin:
8. DO I really want a FT job for a year?
9. The boss is a cunt and would need to be dealt with eveilgrin:
There are some evil possibilities here eveilgrin: eveilgrin:
You are running 600 projects a day with a 70 mile round trip? Shocked:
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Lend us a fiver like! Thumbs:
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1. I am quite busy on projects (600 a day)
2. I get a pension in January
3. It's a 50K figure rubschin:
4. It's a 70 mile daily round trip
5. The department is staffed by mongs who need a kick up the arse :thumbsup:
6. I would need a new car rubschin:
7. Might make sense to rent a flat in Burton during the week rubschin:
8. DO I really want a FT job for a year?
9. The boss is a cunt and would need to be dealt with eveilgrin:
There are some evil possibilities here eveilgrin: eveilgrin:
You are running 600 projects a day with a 70 mile round trip? Shocked:
MONG ::)
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Well you could rewrite that first line to make it clearer you blithering simpleton whistle:
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1. I am quite busy on projects (600 a day)
2. I get a pension in January
3. It's a 50K figure rubschin:
4. It's a 70 mile daily round trip
5. The department is staffed by mongs who need a kick up the arse :thumbsup:
6. I would need a new car rubschin:
7. Might make sense to rent a flat in Burton during the week rubschin:
8. DO I really want a FT job for a year?
9. The boss is a cunt and would need to be dealt with eveilgrin:
There are some evil possibilities here eveilgrin: eveilgrin:
I thought you sorted them out last time
If the boss really is a C and you can't dethrone them then surely it's noooo:
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Oh no, I would have to manage him eveilgrin: eveilgrin:
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I have an interview like Shocked: For a job, like Shocked:
I may need a flat there rubschin: Or a new car rubschin: Or both :thumbsup:
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Or you could turn them down
Hope it goes well!
______________________________
Your local friendly tapatalking heretic
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I can. They are offering £50K. Would rather have it freelance than on payroll rubschin: