The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Nick on October 28, 2013, 11:37:14 AM
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My mate Nod told me on Saturday that spiders are terrified of conkers and, as he doesn't like spiders he always keeps conkers in his house.
I have conkers :thumbsup: Now I also have a spider evil:
I cast the conkers into the spider's path. The spider is now sitting on the conker evil:
Nod is wrong.
This is a public information broadcast
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Repetition and deviation......
I nominate you to go and sort out my mothers conker/spider situation.
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My mate Nod told me on Saturday that spiders are terrified of conkers and, as he doesn't like spiders he always keeps conkers in his house.
I have conkers :thumbsup: Now I also have a spider evil:
I cast the conkers into the spider's path. The spider is now sitting on the conker evil:
Nod is wrong.
This is a public information broadcast
Outsmarted by a spider! point:
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I am sure your cats never achieve that whistle:
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I am sure your cats never achieve that whistle:
redface:
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Tel informs me that the conkers need to be cut in half as the spiders do not like the smell.
This of course means that spiders must have noses rubschin:
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Tel informs me that the conkers need to be cut in half as the spiders do not like the smell.
This of course means that spiders must have noses rubschin:
Several prolly.....
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scared2:
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Tel informs me that the conkers need to be cut in half as the spiders do not like the smell.
This of course means that spiders must have noses rubschin:
How else would they smell?
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*Rushes off to find spider and magnifying glass
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Can't you make explosives out of conkers.... whistle:
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Can't you make explosives out of conkers.... whistle:
noooo: Don't tell him that!
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Can't you make explosives out of conkers.... whistle:
noooo: Don't tell him that!
In a mircowave....... rubschin:
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Can't you make explosives out of conkers.... whistle:
noooo: Don't tell him that!
Ooops, too late.... eveilgrin:
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I am sure your cats never achieve that whistle:
True but cats have a far more developed brain than spiders.... whistle:
Tel informs me that the conkers need to be cut in half as the spiders do not like the smell.
This of course means that spiders must have noses rubschin:
Several prolly.....
You are actually closer there than you might think BM, because a spider's cardio respiratory system is incredibly basic (which also limits its maximum size) it uses small pits in the lower leg called tarsal organs to detect smells. They do prefer some smells to others, for exampe the Kenyan Vampire Spider is attracted to the smell of unwashed feet and dirty socks but as far as repelling them try essential oils such as teatree or citrus as they could be overpowering to the receptors.
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I am sure your cats never achieve that whistle:
True but cats have a far more developed brain than spiders.... whistle:
Tel informs me that the conkers need to be cut in half as the spiders do not like the smell.
This of course means that spiders must have noses rubschin:
Several prolly.....
You are actually closer there than you might think BM, because a spider's cardio respiratory system is incredibly basic (which also limits its maximum size) it uses small pits in the lower leg called tarsal organs to detect smells. They do prefer some smells to others, for exampe the Kenyan Vampire Spider is attracted to the smell of unwashed feet and dirty socks but as far as repelling them try essential oils such as teatree or citrus as they could be overpowering to the receptors.
^^^^^^^^
Wot he said :thumbsup:
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I am sure your cats never achieve that whistle:
True but cats have a far more developed brain than spiders.... whistle:
Tel informs me that the conkers need to be cut in half as the spiders do not like the smell.
This of course means that spiders must have noses rubschin:
Several prolly.....
You are actually closer there than you might think BM, because a spider's cardio respiratory system is incredibly basic (which also limits its maximum size) it uses small pits in the lower leg called tarsal organs to detect smells. They do prefer some smells to others, for exampe the Kenyan Vampire Spider is attracted to the smell of unwashed feet and dirty socks but as far as repelling them try essential oils such as teatree or citrus as they could be overpowering to the receptors.
^^^^^^^^
Wot Wiki said :thumbsup:
whistle:
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Not Wiki you blundering bucket wearing buffoon. cussing:
When I was doing my nurse training I had a biology/anatomy tutor who used to love going off on a tangent so I picked up loads of random facts like that. The essential oils thing is just a guess.
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Not Wiki you blundering bucket wearing buffoon. cussing:
When I was doing my nurse training I had a biology/anatomy tutor who used to love going off on a tangent so I picked up loads of random facts like that. The essential oils thing is just a guess.
You tell him....... Thumbs:
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Not Wiki you blundering bucket wearing buffoon. cussing:
When I was doing my nurse training I had a biology/anatomy tutor who used to love going off on a tangent so I picked up loads of random facts like that. The essential oils thing is just a guess.
Of course, of course.... pathead:
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We should rename him Googlemeister whistle:
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We should rename him Googlemeister whistle:
drumroll: lol:
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I don't like Spiders either but one 'trick' I have perfected over the years (to give me time to dash off and get an appropriate receptacle to catch and place them in for later disposal) is to SHOUT at them....
Something along the lines of STAY THERE YOU HAIRY THING will generally stop it in their tracks (must be the vibration I guess) and then container can be placed over and them removed
However shouting the same thing a lot of times also helps overcome the hebby gebbies of catching the buggers in the first place
Once done then a bottle of wine (for me) is reward cloud9:
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Does it work with BM too?
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Does it work with BM too?
I think that we all know that vino works for BM vibrators vibrations and shouting are a different matter and maybe they should remain private. eyes: ;)
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Actually have just remember my ''last'' spider catching experience and before Bm posts it will admit that it wasn't what one could call a great success:
Climbed onto the kitchen counter to dislodge spider (who had been shouted at) into a container but then missed my footing back onto the step ladder and fell flat onto the floor tiles......................................
Hospital followed NickSick with confirmation of cracked L1 vertebrae redface:
Will now I think follow the conker method Thumbs:
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We should rename him Googlemeister whistle:
happy001
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Actually have just remember my ''last'' spider catching experience and before Bm posts it will admit that it wasn't what one could call a great success:
Climbed onto the kitchen counter to dislodge spider (who had been shouted at) into a container but then missed my footing back onto the step ladder and fell flat onto the floor tiles......................................
Hospital followed NickSick with confirmation of cracked L1 vertebrae redface:
Will now I think follow the conker method Thumbs:
happy100 oh dear sis nasty noooo:
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And covering the floor and stairs with conkers is a safer option eh? rubschin:
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And covering the floor and stairs with conkers is a safer option eh? rubschin:
Thumbs:
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Actually have just remember my ''last'' spider catching experience and before Bm posts it will admit that it wasn't what one could call a great success:
Climbed onto the kitchen counter to dislodge spider (who had been shouted at) into a container but then missed my footing back onto the step ladder and fell flat onto the floor tiles......................................
Hospital followed NickSick with confirmation of cracked L1 vertebrae redface:
Will now I think follow the conker method Thumbs:
Where do you stand on cockroaches?
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Actually have just remember my ''last'' spider catching experience and before Bm posts it will admit that it wasn't what one could call a great success:
Climbed onto the kitchen counter to dislodge spider (who had been shouted at) into a container but then missed my footing back onto the step ladder and fell flat onto the floor tiles......................................
Hospital followed NickSick with confirmation of cracked L1 vertebrae redface:
Will now I think follow the conker method Thumbs:
Where do you stand on cockroaches?
In the kitchen ....
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Actually have just remember my ''last'' spider catching experience and before Bm posts it will admit that it wasn't what one could call a great success:
Climbed onto the kitchen counter to dislodge spider (who had been shouted at) into a container but then missed my footing back onto the step ladder and fell flat onto the floor tiles......................................
Hospital followed NickSick with confirmation of cracked L1 vertebrae redface:
Will now I think follow the conker method Thumbs:
Where do you stand on cockroaches?
In the kitchen ....
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic3.depositphotos.com%2F1000855%2F119%2Fi%2F950%2Fdepositphotos_1193998-Bait-on-fishing-hook.jpg&hash=ef524c61161a3000b169861fbda74a5b205c0e50)
:thumbsup:
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Actually have just remember my ''last'' spider catching experience and before Bm posts it will admit that it wasn't what one could call a great success:
Climbed onto the kitchen counter to dislodge spider (who had been shouted at) into a container but then missed my footing back onto the step ladder and fell flat onto the floor tiles......................................
Hospital followed NickSick with confirmation of cracked L1 vertebrae redface:
Will now I think follow the conker method Thumbs:
happy100 oh dear sis nasty noooo:
It got nastier rubschin:
I'll tell you the rest of the story shall I rubschin:
Fall from kitchen counter to tiled floor on back obviously hurt - in fact felt as though I couldn't breathe (because I couldn't) covered in cold sweat (yuck) and felt sick too..............
BM had already retired upstairs to bed - knew I couldn't shout load enough to wake him from the vino coma sad24:
After a little while managed to slide my poor broken body across the floor and reach up to centre console to grab my mobile
Called our own land line number from my mobile on the 'bright' idea that the extension ringing in our bedroom would wake BM up to come downstairs and rescue me
It rang and rang but eventually BM answered
However because I still couldn't breathe properly I could only communicate via large rasping gasps of breathes ......
BM hung up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Called again, gasped again but obviously somehow had managed to communicate to BM there was a bit of an issue going on and that assistance was required..............
Next vision (I may have been hallucinating by then though scared2:) was BM standing over me
Think I passed out again either from his vino fumes of the fact his dangly bits were about 2cm from my nose scared2: scared2:
Good job we can laugh at our own accidents isn't it Shocked:
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It is like an horror film scared2:
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It is like an horror film scared2:
That's funny I thought it very Nick like......................
More embarrassing was the next morning Doctor rounds (after lovely heavy drugs sleep..............love that Pethidine cloud9:) when he asked what animal had caused my injury this time????????????
Had only seen him maybe four months before after having fractured my ankle and leg rescuing a stray dog, so when I had to admit it was a spider they seriously thought about bringing in the special Nick jacket I think...... whistle:
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It is like an horror film scared2:
That's funny I thought it very Nick like......................
More embarrassing was the next morning Doctor rounds (after lovely heavy drugs sleep..............love that Pethidine cloud9:) when he asked what animal had caused my injury this time????????????
Had only seen him maybe four months before after having fractured my ankle and leg rescuing a stray dog, so when I had to admit it was a spider they seriously thought about bringing in the special Nick jacket I think...... whistle:
Whenever anybody suggests I am not the full quid, it is a great comfort that I can refer them to your goings on. Thumbs:
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It is like an horror film scared2:
That's funny I thought it very Nick like......................
More embarrassing was the next morning Doctor rounds (after lovely heavy drugs sleep..............love that Pethidine cloud9:) when he asked what animal had caused my injury this time????????????
Had only seen him maybe four months before after having fractured my ankle and leg rescuing a stray dog, so when I had to admit it was a spider they seriously thought about bringing in the special Nick jacket I think...... whistle:
Whenever anybody suggests I am not the full quid, it is a great comfort that I can refer them to your goings on. Thumbs:
Oh how posh - you make your mental unbalance comparison to a full quid - I can only balance my madness against not being quite the full shilling ;D
A generational difference in sayings perhaps whistle:
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It is like an horror film scared2:
That's funny I thought it very Nick like......................
More embarrassing was the next morning Doctor rounds (after lovely heavy drugs sleep..............love that Pethidine cloud9:) when he asked what animal had caused my injury this time????????????
Had only seen him maybe four months before after having fractured my ankle and leg rescuing a stray dog, so when I had to admit it was a spider they seriously thought about bringing in the special Nick jacket I think...... whistle:
Whenever anybody suggests I am not the full quid, it is a great comfort that I can refer them to your goings on. Thumbs:
Oh how posh - you make your mental unbalance comparison to a full quid - I can only balance my madness against not being quite the full shilling ;D
A generational difference in sayings perhaps whistle:
lol: lol: lol:
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It is like an horror film scared2:
That's funny I thought it very Nick like......................
More embarrassing was the next morning Doctor rounds (after lovely heavy drugs sleep..............love that Pethidine cloud9:) when he asked what animal had caused my injury this time????????????
Had only seen him maybe four months before after having fractured my ankle and leg rescuing a stray dog, so when I had to admit it was a spider they seriously thought about bringing in the special Nick jacket I think...... whistle:
Whenever anybody suggests I am not the full quid, it is a great comfort that I can refer them to your goings on. Thumbs:
Oh how posh - you make your mental unbalance comparison to a full quid - I can only balance my madness against not being quite the full shilling ;D
A generational difference in sayings perhaps whistle:
Yes, I'm sure that's what it is. whistle:
-
It is like an horror film scared2:
That's funny I thought it very Nick like......................
More embarrassing was the next morning Doctor rounds (after lovely heavy drugs sleep..............love that Pethidine cloud9:) when he asked what animal had caused my injury this time????????????
Had only seen him maybe four months before after having fractured my ankle and leg rescuing a stray dog, so when I had to admit it was a spider they seriously thought about bringing in the special Nick jacket I think...... whistle:
Whenever anybody suggests I am not the full quid, it is a great comfort that I can refer them to your goings on. Thumbs:
Oh how posh - you make your mental unbalance comparison to a full quid - I can only balance my madness against not being quite the full shilling ;D
A generational difference in sayings perhaps whistle:
Yes, I'm sure that's what it is. whistle:
Get your laggies ready ............ see you in the spider shed at 7 pm whistle:
-
It is like an horror film scared2:
That's funny I thought it very Nick like......................
More embarrassing was the next morning Doctor rounds (after lovely heavy drugs sleep..............love that Pethidine cloud9:) when he asked what animal had caused my injury this time????????????
Had only seen him maybe four months before after having fractured my ankle and leg rescuing a stray dog, so when I had to admit it was a spider they seriously thought about bringing in the special Nick jacket I think...... whistle:
Whenever anybody suggests I am not the full quid, it is a great comfort that I can refer them to your goings on. Thumbs:
Oh how posh - you make your mental unbalance comparison to a full quid - I can only balance my madness against not being quite the full shilling ;D
A generational difference in sayings perhaps whistle:
Yes, I'm sure that's what it is. whistle:
Get your laggies ready ............ see you in the spider shed at 7 pm whistle:
:thumbsup: