The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Nick on August 21, 2007, 11:39:50 AM
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scared2:
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eeek:
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Not for long today. Mr Wench is now poorly. I have taken the day off to nurse maid and clean the house in preparation for the MILFH visit! Tat mountain shall be conquered!
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You infected him!!
How?
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You infected him!!
How?
eeek:
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She may have breathed on him for example.
fire
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She may have breathed on him for example.
fire
I see... whistle:
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She has been gone for a while. Either her Tat Mountain has collapsed on her or Mr Wench is sick2:
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She'll be on her knees raking dust and stuff out from under the settee.
I've noticed that girls always do that when In Laws are due.
Come to think of it I have never seen an in-law look under a settee ~ but that doesn't stop them rubschin:
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She'll be on her knees raking dust and stuff out from under the settee.
I've noticed that girls always do that when In Laws are due.
Come to think of it I have never seen an in-law look under a settee ~ but that doesn't stop them rubschin:
They rake out all the disgusting gifts that the in-laws have given them in the past and put them proudly on display as if they?ve always been there. How they remember who gave what however is beyond me? noooo:
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She'll be on her knees raking dust and stuff out from under the settee.
I've noticed that girls always do that when In Laws are due.
Come to think of it I have never seen an in-law look under a settee ~ but that doesn't stop them rubschin:
How did you know! eeek:
Mine does. I caught her at it once. And it was the one time I didn't clean under it! evil:
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She'll be on her knees raking dust and stuff out from under the settee.
I've noticed that girls always do that when In Laws are due.
Come to think of it I have never seen an in-law look under a settee ~ but that doesn't stop them rubschin:
How did you know! eeek:
Mine does. I caught her at it once. And it was the one time I didn't clean under it! evil:
Score one for the Snoop
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcatalog.snoop2nuts.com%2Fimages%2Fs2n%2Fthumb_1078.jpg&hash=f97b66e023f001b64e2f03427c11f33bae9a3f3b)
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She'll be on her knees raking dust and stuff out from under the settee.
I've noticed that girls always do that when In Laws are due.
Come to think of it I have never seen an in-law look under a settee ~ but that doesn't stop them rubschin:
How did you know! eeek:
Mine does. I caught her at it once. And it was the one time I didn't clean under it! evil:
She is nuts. Whack her on the head and push her down the back of the sofa
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She'll be on her knees raking dust and stuff out from under the settee.
I've noticed that girls always do that when In Laws are due.
Come to think of it I have never seen an in-law look under a settee ~ but that doesn't stop them rubschin:
How did you know! eeek:
Mine does. I caught her at it once. And it was the one time I didn't clean under it! evil:
She is nuts. Whack her on the head and push her down the back of the sofa
lol: lol: lol:
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She'll be on her knees raking dust and stuff out from under the settee.
I've noticed that girls always do that when In Laws are due.
Come to think of it I have never seen an in-law look under a settee ~ but that doesn't stop them rubschin:
How did you know! eeek:
Mine does. I caught her at it once. And it was the one time I didn't clean under it! evil:
She is nuts. Whack her on the head and push her down the back of the sofa
I would but there is no space. Where else do you think parts of tat mountain hide?
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As Nick can now confirm Mrs Snoopy's Tat mountain occupies many rooms, including the hallway.
The only room without her tat is my study ~ a picture of order and discipline (and the second smallest room in the house .... the only one smaller has a toilet in it).
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And how are the injuries and the flooding?
The Boy is out SHOOTING today scared2:
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And how are the injuries and the flooding?
The Boy is out SHOOTING today scared2:
T'lad is getting about with the aid of a walking stick. He keeps waving it at his little brother in a threatening manner and calling him "A Young Whippersnapper". Flooding has subsided as the bound foot cannot be taken outside or got wet (according to the Doctor). Back to the fracture clinic on Thursday afternoon.
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I am sure it is a grwoth experience| (as my Californian neghbour would have it). As for the shooting surrender:
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I bought more tat today. Wool that was on sale, a cake stand and some more napkins. redface:
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Down the back of the sofa with them then. Is he still sick2:
If so, give him Kaolin and Morphine. It's vile and he will recover instantly rather than take it, trust me
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I bought more tat today. Wool that was on sale, a cake stand and some more napkins. redface:
Good girl!
Is he really too sick to help you tidy up?
I used to have a cleaner to help me (when we was well off) but on a recent economy drive decided I could save money because I was 'super woman' and with Barman's agreed assistance it would save hte pennies for more important things that needed spending on (in my opinion scented candles, shoes and such like).
Now ask me how many times Barman has helped since then (willngly or otherwise) with the housework ???
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noooo:
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Down the back of the sofa with them then. Is he still sick2:
If so, give him Kaolin and Morphine. It's vile and he will recover instantly rather than take it, trust me
I am one of three daughters, all close in age, and when one got the trot's we all did, and I remember being stood in line at the kitchen sink (Big Sis first, Me, then Little Sis) whilst Mum got the K&M bottle, shook it up (coz it always seperated into milky stuff at bottom and M drugs at the top) and then poured it on to the spoon which we had a have shived in our little gobs over the sink.
Big Sis always took hers without complaint (bronw noser that she was)
Came to my turn and the wise choice of being placed over the sink was mitigated because even before the spoon got to my dainty little gob I was sick2:
Which then made little sis sick2:
And then I generally got a smakc around the ear as well sad24:
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I bought more tat today. Wool that was on sale, a cake stand and some more napkins. redface:
Good girl!
Is he really too sick to help you tidy up?
I used to have a cleaner to help me (when we was well off) but on a recent economy drive decided I could save money because I was 'super woman' and with Barman's agreed assistance it would save hte pennies for more important things that needed spending on (in my opinion scented candles, shoes and such like).
Now ask me how many times Barman has helped since then (willngly or otherwise) with the housework ???
He's in bed with the snots no actually vomitting, yet. He gets one day of being pampered per sickness. This is it. Tomorrow he has to:
1) Hoover. Until he purchases me an upright he does it.
2) Clean the oven. I vomit if I have to clean it.
3) Clean the toilet and the surrounding floor. You piss on it, you clean it.
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eeek:
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. . . got the trot's . . . at the kitchen sink
shocked003 shocked003 shocked003 shocked003
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Arternoon M'Lord. 'Ow bist then?
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1) Hoover. Until he purchases me an upright he does it.
WTF is that about?
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1) Hoover. Until he purchases me an upright he does it.
WTF is that about?
We got one of those cyclone jobbies 'cos shoving the other sort around gave me angina. An upright with wheels was the answer.
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Never ever buy a Dyson!
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Never ever buy a Dyson!
Didn't ~ They go wrong more often than any other brand ~ according to "WHICH"
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All my builders recommend these
http://www.affordablegroup.co.uk/?gclid=CLap9KXdho4CFQESEgod2T1UDg (http://www.affordablegroup.co.uk/?gclid=CLap9KXdho4CFQESEgod2T1UDg)
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. . . one of those cyclone jobbies . .
This is all getting rather scatological.
I am in rude health thank you young Snoopy.
It is a busy time of year even for we superannuated retainers of the crusade to feed the masses. angel1
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Chicken this evening
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Chicken this evening
Fear or food?
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All my builders recommend these
http://www.affordablegroup.co.uk/?gclid=CLap9KXdho4CFQESEgod2T1UDg (http://www.affordablegroup.co.uk/?gclid=CLap9KXdho4CFQESEgod2T1UDg)
That's what I replaced. I know the body is on wheels but the business end takes some effort to push and pull through the carpet. That was what caused the angina, a pain that if you haven't experienced it, cannot be adequately described.
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Food. HOw are your turkeys currently?
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Chicken this evening
Fear or food?
There is a difference in Chez Nick?
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All my builders recommend these
http://www.affordablegroup.co.uk/?gclid=CLap9KXdho4CFQESEgod2T1UDg (http://www.affordablegroup.co.uk/?gclid=CLap9KXdho4CFQESEgod2T1UDg)
That's what I replaced. I know the body is on wheels but the business end takes some effort to push and pull through the carpet. That was what caused the angina, a pain that if you haven't experienced it, cannot be adequately described.
I believe we now have robot cleaners, but they may eat dogs and stuff
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1) Hoover. Until he purchases me an upright he does it.
WTF is that about?
The dodgy pull around thing hurts my back. I think MILFH may be giving us her dyson.
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Food. HOw are your turkeys currently?
Alive but apprehensive.
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The dodgy pull around thing hurts my back.
Make him walk to the loo. ::)
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Food. HOw are your turkeys currently?
Alive but apprehensive.
Not so daft as they look then
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http://youtube.com/watch?v=zM0K_2-_D6Q
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Arternoon M'Lord. 'Ow bist then?
Bloody hell Snoops - I didn't know you were a Salopian!!
Well do I remember such phrases.
For example, two blokes on meeting might say something like this:
Oh arrrr, ow bist owd maaaate?
Oh, I binna so bad, bist thee goin dahn pub?
Nah mayte, I conna ternight. I anna gor any money! And the babbbie inna very well.
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Arternoon M'Lord. 'Ow bist then?
Bloody hell Snoops - I didn't know you were a Salopian!!
Well do I remember such phrases.
For example, two blokes on meeting might say something like this:
Oh arrrr, ow bist owd maaaate?
Oh, I binna so bad, bist thee goin dahn pub?
Nah mayte, I conna ternight. I anna gor any money! And the babbbie inna very well.
Errrr ~ 'ampshire actually redface:
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Arternoon M'Lord. 'Ow bist then?
Bloody hell Snoops - I didn't know you were a Salopian!!
Well do I remember such phrases.
For example, two blokes on meeting might say something like this:
Oh arrrr, ow bist owd maaaate?
Oh, I binna so bad, bist thee goin dahn pub?
Nah mayte, I conna ternight. I anna gor any money! And the babbbie inna very well.
:lalalala
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Arternoon M'Lord. 'Ow bist then?
Bloody hell Snoops - I didn't know you were a Salopian!!
Well do I remember such phrases.
For example, two blokes on meeting might say something like this:
Oh arrrr, ow bist owd maaaate?
Oh, I binna so bad, bist thee goin dahn pub?
Nah mayte, I conna ternight. I anna gor any money! And the babbbie inna very well.
I hated Chaucher at school and I can't say that getting any older has improved my tolerance of medieval english noooo:
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Arternoon M'Lord. 'Ow bist then?
Bloody hell Snoops - I didn't know you were a Salopian!!
Well do I remember such phrases.
For example, two blokes on meeting might say something like this:
Oh arrrr, ow bist owd maaaate?
Oh, I binna so bad, bist thee goin dahn pub?
Nah mayte, I conna ternight. I anna gor any money! And the babbbie inna very well.
I hated Chaucher at school and I can't say that getting any older has improved my tolerance of medieval english noooo:
Chaucer?
The Canterbury Tales, etc?
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That'll be the one -
Funny - our English teacher concentrated on the Wife of Bath's tale (the saucy one eyes:) and ignored the other tales. He really enjoyed watching us girlies get embarrassed (it was an all girls school and he really enjoyed watching us squirm cry:).
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That'll be the one -
Funny - our English teacher concentrated on the Wife of Bath's tale (the saucy one eyes:) and ignored the other tales. He really enjoyed watching us girlies get embarrassed (it was an all girls school and he really enjoyed watching us squirm cry:).
Pervert... noooo:
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We all enjoy watching you squirm
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We all enjoy watching you squirm
Me? eeek:
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If necessary. evil:
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We all enjoy watching you squirm
It still happens far too often for my liking - especially when the boss is asking why I haven't done what I was supposed to ....but at least I have now suppressed the reflex action of furnace effect cheeks and the hanging head in mortal shame and embarrassment. I must finally have grown up ;D
p.s - Why have I been smited twice - I have done nothing to no one - bar stewards
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p.s - Why have I been smited twice -
They just happen, a bit like spots, no rhyme or reason to it.
Obviously a feminine phenomenon
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Arternoon M'Lord. 'Ow bist then?
Bloody hell Snoops - I didn't know you were a Salopian!!
Well do I remember such phrases.
For example, two blokes on meeting might say something like this:
Oh arrrr, ow bist owd maaaate?
Oh, I binna so bad, bist thee goin dahn pub?
Nah mayte, I conna ternight. I anna gor any money! And the babbbie inna very well.
I hated Chaucher at school and I can't say that getting any older has improved my tolerance of medieval english noooo:
Never did Chaucer at school so I havent tried reading it yet, I'm currently having yet another crack at Dante though I'm starting to think that he was off his head when he wrote anything.
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Read Chaucer, whilst not my favorite isn't all that bad.
Same with Dante.
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He's in bed with the snots no actually vomitting, yet. He gets one day of being pampered per sickness. This is it. Tomorrow he has to:
1) Hoover. Until he purchases me an upright he does it.
2) Clean the oven. I vomit if I have to clean it.
3) Clean the toilet and the surrounding floor. You piss on it, you clean it.
Note to self, politely decline any dinner invitations I may ever get from Wenchy in future scared:
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He's in bed with the snots no actually vomitting, yet. He gets one day of being pampered per sickness. This is it. Tomorrow he has to:
1) Hoover. Until he purchases me an upright he does it.
2) Clean the oven. I vomit if I have to clean it.
3) Clean the toilet and the surrounding floor. You piss on it, you clean it.
Note to self, politely decline any dinner invitations I may ever get from Wenchy in future scared:
You wouldn't be invited anyway! <Stalks off with nose in the air>
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<Watches Wemchy stomp off, take 4 steps and then trip over part of the tat mountain as she cant see whats in front of her with her nose stuck in the air> point:
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<Watches Wemchy stomp off, take 4 steps and then trip over part of the tat mountain as she cant see whats in front of her with her nose stuck in the air> point:
redface: