The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Steve on May 01, 2013, 09:12:49 PM
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Well as it's May 2nd in Cyprus the poll is open
Candidates have been listed in alphabetical name order
Poll will run for 24 hours, one vote each but you can change your mind during the day.
In the event of a tie we'll have to have a run off poll on the 3rd, if that's still a tie, her right royal highness CWMBO will be invited to indicate a selected candidate
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:thumbsup:
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I haven't got any bribes yet....... rubschin:
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No bribes but I'm willing to keep a few of your indiscretions from the authorities for a cross in the appropriate box. whistle:
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As leader of the slumber party I will sleep with my voters
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Ah the Berlusconi gambit rubschin:
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best as I can work them out
I promise free booze, free food, free intermong access lapdancers for the blokes and male strippers for the gerls... Thumbs:
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I'm offering double-free-stuff for a limited period only like.... Thumbs:
You can trust me like.... angel1
Party001: Vote fer Meeeee! Party001:
Wot could be betterer than free stuff? evil:
The 'Couldn't give a flying fuck' party Manifesto.
1. Rob you blind
2. Give you all a right royal shafting especially if you are poor and or disabled.
3. Send you and your once green and pleasant land to hell in a handcart.
4. Laugh like a maniac whilst dumbing you down and wearing you out out with mindless T.V programmes and hyped up threats of terrorism and the entire populations of alien nations invading to eat your babies and rob you blind, thereby leaving the coast clear for me to continue to do 1 and 2 mentioned above. Sinister:
5. I would omit to switch the lights off on my way out had they not flickered and died a long time ago.
Yep that should just about cover it. eveilgrin: . . . .
Oh indeedy do yes, the 'right royal shafting' is free of charge. angel1 angel1 However to cover my expenses and the mortgage on my second mansion home whistle: I will need to tax you all heavily on your attempts to staunch the deluge
May I suggest that you all vote for me. If you look back over the pages of this thread you will see that BM has posted but has said nothing, this is not a person you can trust. Oh and he smells and likes goats. noooo:
Party001: Party001:Vote for Miss C the Flying Fuck girl. Party001: Party001:
I will stand for the Greens.
Not through any conviction, it just seems the least inappropriate.
As leader of the slumber party I will sleep with my voters
I have no manifesto. Vote for me and I promise not to do anything :thumbsup:
No bribes but I'm willing to keep a few of your indiscretions from the authorities for a cross in the appropriate box. whistle:
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As leader of the slumber party I will sleep with my voters
She means Zzzzzzzzz...
(sorry Pirate)
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Have we got graphs n barometers n stuff to help us........ rubschin:
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Have we got graphs n barometers n stuff to help us........ rubschin:
what do you think?
no
BTW in the event of a tie we'll have to have a run off poll on the 3rd, if that's still a tie her right royal highness CWMBO will be invited to indicate a selected candidate
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Have we got graphs n barometers n stuff to help us........ rubschin:
what do you think?
no
BTW in the event of a tie we'll have to have a run off poll on the 3rd, if that's still a tie her right royal highness CWMBO will be invited to indicate a selected candidate
No pundits or swingometer....... noooo: poor show
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Vote for me! Thumbs:
You know it makes sense like... ;)
Plus, lets listen to a totally independent pundit and see what he says like.... whistle:
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Need I say more...? Shrugs:
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I see the name of the board is now "May 2nd - Vote UKIP & Barman"
Aren't there rules about canvassing within the vicinity of the polling booth rubschin:
Disqualify him!
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I see the name of the board is now "May 2nd - Vote UKIP & Barman"
Aren't there rules about canvassing within the vicinity of the polling booth rubschin:
Disqualify him!
eeek:
How did that get there?????
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Uncle leaps into an early lead in predictably light local voting
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whistle:
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noooo:
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Barman has been playing with his knob again noooo:
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Wha? Shrugs:
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Prolly had to play with that knob because he couldn't find his real one
I'll ask him to undo his evilness, else other measures will be used.
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angel1
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How do we know that that second vote for you is genuine?
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redface:
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I have tacked up the pony and trap to collect and convey my loyal voters to the polling station. cloud9:
Perhaps eco-friendly hand-woven straw rosettes weren't a good idea on the pony. surrender:
The one on my lapel now reads "ote rwin" noooo:
It is also unfortunate that the prevailing wind has moved round today, normally you wouldn't know the anaerobic digester was there. . . redface:
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Less than 3 hours to go and the Couldn't give Flying Fucks are in the lead!
Shocked:
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I've been robbed.... sad24:
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I've been robbed.... sad24:
pathead:
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As acting returning officer I hereby announce that Miss Creant - the Couldn't give a flying fuck Party candidate has been duly elected to serve as councilor for the district of Bickering.
eeek:
Well won Miss C
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Well done Miss C. I must say you have a sound policy.
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AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHH BOLLOX!
Only just read this thread,and I can't vote now it seems, but me being me sez Finger: Whatevah:, and Miss C gets my vote anyway! :thumbsup:
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Least Miss C could do is make a victory speech, all I can hear is the sound of the glug of wine bottles
Bit of a surprise that the UKIP candidate couldn't even get his wife to vote for him.
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Least Miss C could do is make a victory speech, all I can hear is the sound the glug of wine bottles
Bit of a surprise that the UKIP candidate couldn't even get his wife to vote for him.
Oh she will, and it'll be full of incomprehensible shite no doubt too. Thumbs:
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I fully supported Miss C by not voting cos I didn't give a flying fuck. Well done Miss C :thumbsup:
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lol: lol: lol:
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So only 2 people wanted to sleep with Miss D...... rubschin:
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So only 2 people wanted to sleep with Miss D...... rubschin:
Well assuming Miss D voted for herself then only one
eeek:
In my case it was the pure simplicity of Uncle's "do nuffin" manifesto that got my vote,
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the best man won like.... sad24:
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So only 2 people wanted to sleep with Miss D...... rubschin:
Well assuming Miss D voted for herself then only one
eeek:
In my case it was the pure simplicity of Uncle's "do nuffin" manifesto that got my vote,
I didn't think you could vote for yourself eeek:
So it's a threesome then lol:
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So only 2 people wanted to sleep with Miss D...... rubschin:
Well assuming Miss D voted for herself then only one
eeek:
In my case it was the pure simplicity of Uncle's "do nuffin" manifesto that got my vote,
I didn't think you could vote for yourself eeek:
So it's a threesome then lol:
I voted for myself... redface:
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So only 2 people wanted to sleep with Miss D...... rubschin:
Well assuming Miss D voted for herself then only one
eeek:
In my case it was the pure simplicity of Uncle's "do nuffin" manifesto that got my vote,
I didn't think you could vote for yourself eeek:
So it's a threesome then lol:
I voted for myself... redface:
A good job you did like. lol:
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So only 2 people wanted to sleep with Miss D...... rubschin:
Well assuming Miss D voted for herself then only one
eeek:
In my case it was the pure simplicity of Uncle's "do nuffin" manifesto that got my vote,
I didn't think you could vote for yourself eeek:
So it's a threesome then lol:
I voted for myself... redface:
A good job you did like. lol:
sad32:
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Wot no Winner's Speech? evil:
Seems she really couldn't give a fuck, unluckily neither could anyone to make it a paid position
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Wot no Winner's Speech?
Seems she really couldn't give a fuck, unluckily neither could anyone to make it a paid position
I could do a loser's speech like.... ;D
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Yes please
Maybe if she doesn't make a speech we'll get the sneaky digital tippex out and change all the results
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I suspect we'll have to wait until she's only half pissed.
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I suspect we'll have to wait until she's only half pissed.
happy001
Wll that be the Tuesday after we next win the world cup then?
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I suspect we'll have to wait until she's only half pissed.
happy001
Wll that be the Tuesday after we next win the world cup then?
You do realise that she's going to be less than impressed reading this shite don't you....not that she'll REALLY give a flying fuck I suppose. whistle:
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So only 2 people wanted to sleep with Miss D...... rubschin:
Well assuming Miss D voted for herself then only one
eeek:
In my case it was the pure simplicity of Uncle's "do nuffin" manifesto that got my vote,
I didn't think you could vote for yourself eeek:
So it's a threesome then lol:
I voted for myself... redface:
redface:
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I suspect we'll have to wait until she's only half pissed.
happy001
Wll that be the Tuesday after we next win the world cup then?
You do realise that she's going to be less than impressed reading this shite don't you....not that she'll REALLY give a flying fuck I suppose. whistle:
I'm trying to goad her into a response like
Prolly be a wine bottle bouncing off me head though
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So only 2 people wanted to sleep with Miss D...... rubschin:
Somewhat of a catch 22 there. I voted for her straight away as soon as I saw her electioneering approach. Thumbs:
The thought of her winning with a landslide majority then made me think it might not be quite such a good thing.....sloppy seconds/thirds etc. noooo:
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So only 2 people wanted to sleep with Miss D...... rubschin:
Somewhat of a catch 22 there. I voted for her straight away as soon as I saw her electioneering approach. Thumbs:
The thought of her winning with a landslide majority then made me think it might not be quite such a good thing.....sloppy seconds/thirds etc. noooo:
lol: lol: lol:
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Well assuming Miss D voted for herself then only one
Nope, t'was I. lol:
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Think we should have a rule that no acceptance speech means you aren't actually elected
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Think we should have a rule that no acceptance speech means you aren't actually elected
Agreed - vote is null and void... cloud9:
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So we'd have to have a run off vote between Miss D and Uncle
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So we'd have to have a run off vote between Miss D and Uncle
rubschin:
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So we'd have to have a run off vote between Miss D and Uncle
No... ::)
The whole thing is void.... whistle:
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As acting returning wotsit I have written to the candidate elect to see what she wants to do.
It is all very embarrassing, the press are still standing around waiting for a victory speech and after 3 days most of them are beginning to smell a bit
more
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Ahh much to my embarrassment I was not paying attention. I thank all of you for not voting and those of you who did, I actually didn't vote, now would you kindly all fuck orff, you are making a mess of the lawn and there is still quaffing time to be had down at the Duck and Dildo as they haven't called last orders yet. razz:
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Ahh much to my embarrassment I was not paying attention. I thank all of you for not voting and those of you who did, I actually didn't vote, now would you kindly all fuck orff, you are making a mess of the lawn and there is still quaffing time to be had down at the Duck and Dildo as they haven't called last orders yet. razz:
:thumbsup:
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Ahh much to my embarrassment I was not paying attention. I thank all of you for not voting and those of you who did, I actually didn't vote, now would you kindly all fuck orff, you are making a mess of the lawn and there is still quaffing time to be had down at the Duck and Dildo as they haven't called last orders yet. razz:
:thumbsup:
Indeed, a beautiful acceptance speech so in keeping with her manifesto
Well that's it for Bickering council elections for another 4 years
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sad24:
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Miss C, by posting any sort of acceptance speech it would appear you do give a fuck. I didn't vote for you cos I didn't give a fuck either. I feel badly let down and would now like to vote . Three days of power and you're already like the rest of them noooo:
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Miss C, by posting any sort of acceptance speech it would appear you do give a fuck. I didn't vote for you cos I didn't give a fuck either. I feel badly let down and would now like to vote . Three days of power and you're already like the rest of them noooo:
lol:
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Miss C, by posting any sort of acceptance speech it would appear you do give a fuck. I didn't vote for you cos I didn't give a fuck either. I feel badly let down and would now like to vote . Three days of power and you're already like the rest of them noooo:
lol: lol: Look at my face JOM do I look like I give a fuck?
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Miss C, by posting any sort of acceptance speech it would appear you do give a fuck. I didn't vote for you cos I didn't give a fuck either. I feel badly let down and would now like to vote . Three days of power and you're already like the rest of them noooo:
lol: lol: Look at my face JOM do I look like I give a fuck?
happy001 happy001
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Miss C, by posting any sort of acceptance speech it would appear you do give a fuck. I didn't vote for you cos I didn't give a fuck either. I feel badly let down and would now like to vote . Three days of power and you're already like the rest of them noooo:
You will be able to vote again for councillor in 3 years and 361 days. In the meantime you might want to fret, whine, stamp your feet and generally be right narked about thigs - like the rest of us
Other than that it's tough shit JOM
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I'm not narked just yet, but my status has gone up one notch from "pretty miffed" to "miffed"
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I'm not narked just yet, but my status has gone up one notch from "pretty miffed" to "miffed"
scared2:
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I'm not narked just yet, but my status has gone up one notch from "pretty miffed" to "miffed"
Oh why did I read that as 'I'm not naked yet'? redface:
I think that I had better go and have a cold shower. rubschin:
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I'm not narked just yet, but my status has gone up one notch from "pretty miffed" to "miffed"
Oh why did I read that as 'I'm not naked yet'? redface:
I think that I had better go and have a cold shower. rubschin:
Are you naked...?
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lol: