The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Nick on April 16, 2013, 03:08:39 PM

Title: Bewildering menus
Post by: Nick on April 16, 2013, 03:08:39 PM
Lunch with the sisters.  scared2:

We went here: http://www.vintageinn.co.uk/thetrentlocksawley/restaurantsfood/ (http://www.vintageinn.co.uk/thetrentlocksawley/restaurantsfood/)

Mistake  noooo:

Waitress brought us menus. They were vast and must have had about 200 options ranging from 12 course banquets to sandwiches.

She then produced the set lunch menu, same food,  less choice, cheaper.

She then announced they had a Specials Menu which was teeny weeny. She added that not all the Specials were on the Specials menu and that there were others on the Specials Blackboards  angry041:

WE all combed through the menus and discussed the many many options, running to different bits of the place to shout out what was on the boards. This took half an hour  noooo:  Everyone then announced what tthey were having and we waited for the waitress. By the time she arrived we had all changed our minds again. Both sisses only wanted a starter off the set menu. This was not allowed but they could have the identical item off the main menu for twice the price. This was agreed to.

I ordered a burger  ::)

Her: With chips?
Me: Yes
Her: Do you want to upgrade to gourmet chips?
Me: No, ordinary chips are fine
Her: We have no ordinary chips, only substitute ordinary chips
Me: What are substitute chips?
Her: Chips. We call the lumberjack chips
Me: Whatever

She goes off and brings two starters for the sisses and nothing else for ages.

She comes back and asks when we want the main course. Since no one has ordered starters we say now. "But you ordered these starters"

All: Oh no we didn't
Her: Well have them anyway or they will go in the bin

We share the starters

Lunch finally arrives. "Do you want any sauces?"
Us: What do you have?
Her: French mustard, Salsa (x3), Mayonnaise, , English Mustard, Chutney, ketchup, brown sauce and about eleven more.

Our heads are spinning by now, so we decline.

We decided not to bother with pudding (three different menus and a blackboard)

I am exhausted  NickSick
Title: Re: Bewildering menus
Post by: Barman on April 16, 2013, 03:13:52 PM
 lol: lol: lol:

I hate restaurants with me and yous that are too big....  noooo:

First of all you know they can't possibly have all that stuff fresh out the back - they would need mountains of everything...

So it must all be frozen, boil in the bag stuff...

And as you say, it makes choosing a nightmare too...

No, why not have a small selection of fresh dishes available...? Shrugs:
Title: Re: Bewildering menus
Post by: GROWLER on April 16, 2013, 03:14:02 PM
Should have gone the chippy then cock rot. ::)
Title: Re: Bewildering menus
Post by: boogs on April 16, 2013, 03:44:50 PM
Lunch with the sisters.  scared2:

We went here: http://www.vintageinn.co.uk/thetrentlocksawley/restaurantsfood/ (http://www.vintageinn.co.uk/thetrentlocksawley/restaurantsfood/)

Mistake  noooo:

Waitress brought us menus. They were vast and must have had about 200 options ranging from 12 course banquets to sandwiches.

She then produced the set lunch menu, same food,  less choice, cheaper.

She then announced they had a Specials Menu which was teeny weeny. She added that not all the Specials were on the Specials menu and that there were others on the Specials Blackboards  angry041:

WE all combed through the menus and discussed the many many options, running to different bits of the place to shout out what was on the boards. This took half an hour  noooo:  Everyone then announced what tthey were having and we waited for the waitress. By the time she arrived we had all changed our minds again. Both sisses only wanted a starter off the set menu. This was not allowed but they could have the identical item off the main menu for twice the price. This was agreed to.

I ordered a burger  ::)

Her: With chips?
Me: Yes
Her: Do you want to upgrade to gourmet chips?
Me: No, ordinary chips are fine
Her: We have no ordinary chips, only substitute ordinary chips
Me: What are substitute chips?
Her: Chips. We call the lumberjack chips
Me: Whatever

She goes off and brings two starters for the sisses and nothing else for ages.

She comes back and asks when we want the main course. Since no one has ordered starters we say now. "But you ordered these starters"

All: Oh no we didn't
Her: Well have them anyway or they will go in the bin

We share the starters

Lunch finally arrives. "Do you want any sauces?"
Us: What do you have?
Her: French mustard, Salsa (x3), Mayonnaise, , English Mustard, Chutney, ketchup, brown sauce and about eleven more.

Our heads are spinning by now, so we decline.

We decided not to bother with pudding (three different menus and a blackboard)

I am exhausted  NickSick

Should have gone to the little tea rooms at Trent Lock nice simple home cooking it is lovely if a bit small.  You even have proper china cups and saucers lovely.... cloud9:
No alcomahol tho..... noooo:
Title: Re: Bewildering menus
Post by: Nick on April 16, 2013, 03:46:33 PM
Prolly, but I took Growler there once and I am not sure I am allowed back
Title: Re: Bewildering menus
Post by: boogs on April 16, 2013, 03:49:58 PM
Prolly, but I took Growler there once and I am not sure I am allowed back

Ohh dear it is a bit small for fluffy  redface:
Title: Re: Bewildering menus
Post by: Nick on April 16, 2013, 03:52:38 PM
Theymade him set outside, on account of the smell, like
Title: Re: Bewildering menus
Post by: boogs on April 16, 2013, 03:56:38 PM
Theymade him set outside, on account of the smell, like


Oh noes   noooo: noooo: noooo:

I can't beleve they would do that to him... I thought perhaps he had broken some china the tables are quite small and it is a bit tight for bears..... cloud9:
Title: Re: Bewildering menus
Post by: apc2010 on April 16, 2013, 04:03:57 PM
lol: lol: lol:

I hate restaurants with me and yous that are too big....  noooo:

First of all you know they can't possibly have all that stuff fresh out the back - they would need mountains of everything...

So it must all be frozen, boil in the bag stuff...

And as you say, it makes choosing a nightmare too...

No, why not have a small selection of fresh dishes available...? Shrugs:

Zactly....... :thumbsup:  there are 2 places in Paphos and the menu changes all the time ......small choice but good........
Title: Re: Bewildering menus
Post by: Steve on April 16, 2013, 05:17:22 PM
Lunch with the sisters.  scared2:

We went here: http://www.vintageinn.co.uk/thetrentlocksawley/restaurantsfood/ (http://www.vintageinn.co.uk/thetrentlocksawley/restaurantsfood/)

Mistake  noooo:

 . .
IMHO those menus are fine you just got a waitress from care in the community.

You should have played the game I know as "the RAF game"

All put £1 in a pot

Each then orders in turn with the others counting how many questions the waitress/person asks and the winner of the pot is the one with the least questions asked.  (works even better in USA)

You'd be surprised how tense it gets
Title: Re: Bewildering menus
Post by: GROWLER on April 16, 2013, 05:19:20 PM
Theymade him set outside, on account of the smell, like

Swivel, turd. Finger:
Title: Re: Bewildering menus
Post by: Nick on April 16, 2013, 05:25:07 PM
But you luvved the 'uts  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Bewildering menus
Post by: Just One More on April 16, 2013, 05:43:04 PM
Lunch with the sisters.  scared2:

We went here: http://www.vintageinn.co.uk/thetrentlocksawley/restaurantsfood/ (http://www.vintageinn.co.uk/thetrentlocksawley/restaurantsfood/)

Mistake  noooo:

Waitress brought us menus. They were vast and must have had about 200 options ranging from 12 course banquets to sandwiches.

She then produced the set lunch menu, same food,  less choice, cheaper.

She then announced they had a Specials Menu which was teeny weeny. She added that not all the Specials were on the Specials menu and that there were others on the Specials Blackboards  angry041:

WE all combed through the menus and discussed the many many options, running to different bits of the place to shout out what was on the boards. This took half an hour  noooo:  Everyone then announced what tthey were having and we waited for the waitress. By the time she arrived we had all changed our minds again. Both sisses only wanted a starter off the set menu. This was not allowed but they could have the identical item off the main menu for twice the price. This was agreed to.

I ordered a burger  ::)

Her: With chips?
Me: Yes
Her: Do you want to upgrade to gourmet chips?
Me: No, ordinary chips are fine
Her: We have no ordinary chips, only substitute ordinary chips
Me: What are substitute chips?
Her: Chips. We call the lumberjack chips
Me: Whatever

She goes off and brings two starters for the sisses and nothing else for ages.

She comes back and asks when we want the main course. Since no one has ordered starters we say now. "But you ordered these starters"

All: Oh no we didn't
Her: Well have them anyway or they will go in the bin

We share the starters

Lunch finally arrives. "Do you want any sauces?"
Us: What do you have?
Her: French mustard, Salsa (x3), Mayonnaise, , English Mustard, Chutney, ketchup, brown sauce and about eleven more.

Our heads are spinning by now, so we decline.

We decided not to bother with pudding (three different menus and a blackboard)

I am exhausted  NickSick

Yeah, but I'm sure they ..."wrap it in our warmest welcome and serve with our friendliest smile"  sick2:
Title: Re: Bewildering menus
Post by: Nick on April 16, 2013, 05:53:07 PM
They gave us a "feedback" form and a pen. The pen didn't work and when I got a replacement I corrected the 17 spelling errors on the form  cussing:
Title: Re: Bewildering menus
Post by: Barman on April 16, 2013, 06:01:39 PM
They gave us a "feedback" form and a pen. The pen didn't work and when I got a replacement I corrected the 17 spelling errors on the form  cussing:

happy001
Title: Re: Bewildering menus
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on April 16, 2013, 06:06:35 PM
They gave us a "feedback" form and a pen. The pen didn't work and when I got a replacement I corrected the 17 spelling errors on the form  cussing:

 lol:   lol:

I like spotting errors on the idiot lantern. Spotted "unconcious" on a documentary the other day!

Just can't get the staff since education's gone down the tubes . . . .
Title: Re: Bewildering menus
Post by: GROWLER on April 16, 2013, 07:25:21 PM
But you luvved the 'uts  :thumbsup:

Which is more than can be said about you, rat face. cussing:
Title: Re: Bewildering menus
Post by: Nick on April 16, 2013, 07:32:36 PM
 sad32:

But you remember it  :thumbsup:  Nice spot.

Good job we didn't go to that pub though  noooo:
Title: Re: Bewildering menus
Post by: GROWLER on April 16, 2013, 09:10:24 PM
sad32:

But you remember it  :thumbsup:  Nice spot.

Good job we didn't go to that pub though  noooo:

But how would I know ey?

I couldn't go in 'cus i stank...apparently. ::)
Title: Re: Bewildering menus
Post by: boogs on April 16, 2013, 09:20:05 PM
sad32:

But you remember it  :thumbsup:  Nice spot.

Good job we didn't go to that pub though  noooo:

But how would I know ey?

I couldn't go in 'cus i stank...apparently. ::)


 happy100 happy100      cloud9:
Title: Re: Bewildering menus
Post by: GROWLER on April 16, 2013, 09:37:09 PM
sad32:

But you remember it  :thumbsup:  Nice spot.

Good job we didn't go to that pub though  noooo:

But how would I know ey?

I couldn't go in 'cus i stank...apparently. ::)


 happy100 happy100      cloud9:
He's evil Boogywoogy. You'll learn over the coming months.
Nasty piece of werk if ever there was one. sick2:
Title: Re: Bewildering menus
Post by: boogs on April 16, 2013, 09:41:52 PM
sad32:

But you remember it  :thumbsup:  Nice spot.

Good job we didn't go to that pub though  noooo:

But how would I know ey?

I couldn't go in 'cus i stank...apparently. ::)


 happy100 happy100      cloud9:
He's evil Boogywoogy. You'll learn over the coming months.
Nasty piece of werk if ever there was one. sick2:

 noooo:  Can't believe it.... sad24:
Title: Re: Bewildering menus
Post by: Steve on April 16, 2013, 09:44:08 PM
Boogs, here's a complete list of men Growler thinks are not evil :  [                                                  ]

You'll note even he's not on the list
Title: Re: Bewildering menus
Post by: boogs on April 16, 2013, 09:59:56 PM
Boogs, here's a complete list of men Growler thinks are not evil:  [                                                  ]

You'll note even he's not on the list

They both prosteth too much... ;)
Title: Re: Bewildering menus
Post by: Barman on April 17, 2013, 04:08:34 AM
Boogs, here's a complete list of men Growler thinks are not evil :  [                                                  ]

You'll note even he's not on the list

happy001