The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Barman on February 22, 2013, 11:35:30 AM
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So, n Tuesday I send a package from Limassol to Wales by EMS Datapost - costs me €20.
All the paperwork was correctly completed with a sender address and destination address.
On the back of the box was a teeny-tiny label with the 'Return Address' in Epsom.
So, guess where Parcel farce have just delivered it to! cussing:
Angry9:
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where? rubschin:
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where? rubschin:
Fecking Epsom! Explode:
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lol: lol: lol:
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It's probably where it wanted to go whistle:
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And LL bastard signed for kit! Banghead
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She was prolly hoping you had sent her a pressy noooo:
Poor LL noooo:
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The frustrations of smuggling?
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It's probably where it wanted to go whistle:
Indeed. VERY nice place is Epsom, (shite printers though) and if you'd posted me, that would have been my fiirst choice of destination, so wtf's the problem ey, EY? Shrugs:
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She was prolly hoping you had sent her a pressy noooo:
Poor LL noooo:
If she'd taken it with her last week this wouldn't have happened! cussing:
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She was prolly hoping you had sent her a pressy noooo:
Poor LL noooo:
If she'd taken it with her last week this wouldn't have happened! cussing:
It'll still be your fault though, you do actually realise that don't you? ::)
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She was prolly hoping you had sent her a pressy noooo:
Poor LL noooo:
If she'd taken it with her last week this wouldn't have happened! cussing:
It'll still be your fault though, you do actually realise that don't you? ::)
Oh yes indeedy-doody! Banghead
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She was prolly hoping you had sent her a pressy noooo:
Poor LL noooo:
If she'd taken it with her last week this wouldn't have happened! cussing:
It'll still be your fault though, you do actually realise that don't you? ::)
Oh yes indeedy-doody! Banghead
Or mine. ::)
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She was prolly hoping you had sent her a pressy noooo:
Poor LL noooo:
If she'd taken it with her last week this wouldn't have happened! cussing:
It'll still be your fault though, you do actually realise that don't you? ::)
Oh yes indeedy-doody! Banghead
Or mine. ::)
Unlikely on this occasion... lol:
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She was prolly hoping you had sent her a pressy noooo:
Poor LL noooo:
If she'd taken it with her last week this wouldn't have happened! cussing:
It'll still be your fault though, you do actually realise that don't you? ::)
Oh yes indeedy-doody! Banghead
Or mine. ::)
Unlikely on this occasion... lol:
Well you can blame me if you want.
Everyfuckingthing else in the werld is MY friggin' fault...apparently, so 'they' say like, whoever 'they ' actually are like,, so in for a penny, in for a piggin' misguided parcel. Thumbs:
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She was prolly hoping you had sent her a pressy noooo:
Poor LL noooo:
If she'd taken it with her last week this wouldn't have happened! cussing:
It'll still be your fault though, you do actually realise that don't you? ::)
Oh yes indeedy-doody! Banghead
Or mine. ::)
Unlikely on this occasion... lol:
Well you can blame me if you want.
Everyfuckingthing else in the werld is MY friggin' fault...apparently, so 'they' say like, whoever 'they ' actually are like,, so in for a penny, in for a piggin' misguided parcel. Thumbs:
Thumbs:
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Blimey. It is usually me that gets the blame round these parts.
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Blimey. It is usually me that gets the blame round these parts.
That's coz its normally your fault.......... whistle:
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Blimey. It is usually me that gets the blame round these parts.
That's coz its normally your fault.......... whistle:
lol: lol: lol:
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You couldn't make this up! Banghead
This surely couldn't be clearer?
You have just delivered this parcel to the 'return address' instead of the
original delivery address.
Please advise...
Thanks in advance,
Barman
To which they responded.... ::)
Dear Barman
Thank you for your enquiry.
The parcel that you are enquiring about has been delivered after arriving in the UK from Cyprus.
For proof of delivery, please refer to our website at www.parcelforce.com (http://www.parcelforce.com)
If you require any further information or assistance, please reply to this email showing all conversations we have had on this enquiry.
Our hours of business are: Mon to Fri: 8am to 5:30pm
Kind regards
Mick Pitts
Parcelforce Worldwide
Customer Service Email Team.
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Targets Banghead
Target 1: all parcels must be delivered on time (don't give a feck where)
Target 2: all emails must be replied to within 30 minutes (even if fecking nonsense reply)
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Targets Banghead
Target 1: all parcels must be delivered on time (don't give a feck where)
Target 2: all emails must be replied to within 30 minutes (even if fecking nonsense reply)
Oh noes.... noooo:
Each time I e-mail I get this back! Banghead
Thank you for your email.
We will get back to you as soon as we can but please be aware that our turnaround time is 12 working hours.
This is an automated acknowledgement to your email; please do not respond to this message.
Our Customer Service email team opening hours are: Mon-Fri: 8am to 5:30pm
Deliveries are usually started at 7am to 5:30pm Monday to Friday. Deliveries on a Saturday are only made where the sender has chosen and paid for a Saturday delivery service. These deliveries are usually made between 7am to 1pm.
We do not currently deliver on a Sunday.
The highlighting is theirs BTW.... noooo:
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I have come to hate ParcelFarce evil: So unlike me, I know angel1
Their van usually turns up most days and whereas years ago the driver used to park up outside, get out from his van and press the buzzer etc which was fine...
Nowadays, in fact for the past couple of years, he just swerves into the kerb by the gates and toots his horn...
TOOT ... TOOT TOOT... TOOT TOOT.. TOOOOOOOOOOOT!
... in the expectation that someone will buzz open the gates so that he doesn't have to feckin well get off his fat @rse and press entry buttons Banghead Banghead evil:
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Electric gates? I dream of having gates, the games i could play with passing pedestrians
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Electric gates? I dream of having gates, the games i could play with passing pedestrians
whistle:
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Electric gates? I dream of having gates, the games i could play with passing pedestrians
whistle:
whistle: whistle: eveilgrin:
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Portcullis would be better, envigle them into range and cathunk drop it to within an inch of their heads - well that's if the dodgy brake holds
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I have electick gates. cloud9: And a blipper cloud9:
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I have electick gates. cloud9: And a blipper cloud9:
And a boiler............. rubschin:
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They called and said there would be another delivery charge! happy002
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I have electick gates. cloud9: And a blipper cloud9:
Cor, I am so jealous. Can you use them to flick people out into the traffic?
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I have electick gates. cloud9: And a blipper cloud9:
Cor, I am so jealous. Can you use them to flick people out into the traffic?
Mine open inwards... evil:
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I have electick gates. cloud9: And a blipper cloud9:
Cor, I am so jealous. Can you use them to flick people out into the traffic?
He probably has to climb over them himself.
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I have electick gates. cloud9: And a blipper cloud9:
Cor, I am so jealous. Can you use them to flick people out into the traffic?
He probably has to climb over them himself.
happy001
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I have electick gates. cloud9: And a blipper cloud9:
Cor, I am so jealous. Can you use them to flick people out into the traffic?
He probably has to climb over them himself.
happy001 here too
. . .Mine open inwards... evil:
Am I the only one that hasn't got gates redface:
Anyway surely you wait til nosy person approaches your estate and slowly open the gates, they will be drawn in a few cm won't they. Then hit the turbo shut button and Ptwang they get flicked into the traffic.
PS helps to have an estate, gates and a turbo shut option. Just 3 of the 11,483,268 things in life I want but will never have
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I have electick gates. cloud9: And a blipper cloud9:
Cor, I am so jealous. Can you use them to flick people out into the traffic?
He probably has to climb over them himself.
happy001 here too
. . .Mine open inwards... evil:
Am I the only one that hasn't got gates redface:
Anyway surely you wait til nosy person approaches your estate and slowly open the gates, they will be drawn in a few cm won't they. Then hit the turbo shut button and Ptwang they get flicked into the traffic.
PS helps to have an estate, gates and a turbo shut option. Just 3 of the 11,483,268 things in life I want but will never have
rubschin:
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Bm needs a turbo open option for when LL is parking............ whistle:
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Bm needs a turbo open option for when LL is parking............ whistle:
lol: lol: lol:
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Aha I have now decyphered another code. LL=Landlady.
(This pointless admission brought to you by Whatever it takes to keep the post count up Services Inc)
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Well done!
She is barking mad :thumbsup:
Which is why she married BM noooo:
Then she found out, or rather her carers did, that BM is werserer.
It's a mess. noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo:
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I cannot throw the first stone.
Not cos Mrs K and I are also bonkers, it's just it's so hard to throw stones when I'm typing
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I have electick gates. cloud9: And a blipper cloud9:
Cor, I am so jealous. Can you use them to flick people out into the traffic?
He probably has to climb over them himself.
happy001 here too
. . .Mine open inwards... evil:
Am I the only one that hasn't got gates redface:
Anyway surely you wait til nosy person approaches your estate and slowly open the gates, they will be drawn in a few cm won't they. Then hit the turbo shut button and Ptwang they get flicked into the traffic.
PS helps to have an estate, gates and a turbo shut option. Just 3 of the 11,483,268 things in life I want but will never have
I've gorra moat. cloud9:
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A moat? Impressed
I did have scaffolding round the house but that went Tuesday.
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A moat? Impressed
I did have scaffolding round the house but that went Tuesday.
I just do not answer the door ......no door bell......... :thumbsup: if you are not invited then do not come here.........
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Well done!
She is barking mad :thumbsup:
Which is why she married BM noooo:
Then she found out, or rather her carers did, that BM is werserer.
It's a mess. noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo:
evil:
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I have electick gates. cloud9: And a blipper cloud9:
Cor, I am so jealous. Can you use them to flick people out into the traffic?
He probably has to climb over them himself.
happy001 here too
. . .Mine open inwards... evil:
Am I the only one that hasn't got gates redface:
Anyway surely you wait til nosy person approaches your estate and slowly open the gates, they will be drawn in a few cm won't they. Then hit the turbo shut button and Ptwang they get flicked into the traffic.
PS helps to have an estate, gates and a turbo shut option. Just 3 of the 11,483,268 things in life I want but will never have
I've gorra moat. cloud9:
Full of alligators no doubt or was Nick mistaken and wot he saw was Mrs G and Mini Moose swimming?
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I have electick gates. cloud9: And a blipper cloud9:
Cor, I am so jealous. Can you use them to flick people out into the traffic?
He probably has to climb over them himself.
happy001 here too
. . .Mine open inwards... evil:
Am I the only one that hasn't got gates redface:
Anyway surely you wait til nosy person approaches your estate and slowly open the gates, they will be drawn in a few cm won't they. Then hit the turbo shut button and Ptwang they get flicked into the traffic.
PS helps to have an estate, gates and a turbo shut option. Just 3 of the 11,483,268 things in life I want but will never have
I've gorra moat. cloud9:
Full of alligators no doubt or was Nick mistaken and wot he saw was Mrs G and Mini Moose swimming?
lol: lol: lol:
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A moat? Impressed
I did have scaffolding round the house but that went Tuesday.
I just do not answer the door ......no door bell......... :thumbsup: if you are not invited then do not come here.........
No door bell - no Jehovah's Witnits. Cunnng plan Apey :thumbsup:
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A moat? Impressed
I did have scaffolding round the house but that went Tuesday.
I just do not answer the door ......no door bell......... :thumbsup: if you are not invited then do not come here.........
No door bell - no Jehovah's Witnits. Cunnng plan Apey :thumbsup:
No uninvited visitors...........friends know to call first......... :thumbsup:
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Dear Barman
Thank you for your email.
I have checked the tracking information and your parcel is out for delivery today to the correct address. Delivery will take place between 7am and 5.30pm unless it has been placed on one of our timed services.
If no one is available at the delivery address to accept the item an automatic redelivery should be attempted the following working day and again take place between 7am and 5.30pm. Our driver will indicate whether this will happen on the attempted delivery card. Alternatively, your parcel may be left with a neighbour, returned to the local depot or taken to a local Post Office and again, our driver will note this on the card.
To arrange redelivery, please use the options available on our website www.parcelforce.com (http://www.parcelforce.com) by clicking on the “Receiving” tab. Alternatively, you can also contact our Customer Service team on 08448 004466 and one of our agents will be happy to arrange a redelivery for you.
Please note:
- International items with Customs charges cannot be redelivered to an alternative address or Post Office.
- A redelivery to an alternative address will incur an additional charge of £5.50.
- Redeliveries to a local Post Office will require a £1.00 payment to the Post Office Clerk and you must take 2 forms of ID with you
when collecting and the attempted delivery card. One form of ID must be photographic. We recommend that parcels left at the
Post Office are collected the following day.
- Parcels which are subject to international charges cannot be delivered to the Post Office.
- Parcels in excess of 15kg may be refused by the Post Office.
- Requests for Saturday redeliveries will incur a charge of £14.40
I trust that the above information has been of assistance to you.
If you require any further information or assistance, please reply to this email showing all conversations we have had on this enquiry.
Our hours of business are Mon to Fri: 8am to 5:30pm
Kind regards
Kate Spencer
Parcelforce Worldwide
Customer Service Email Team.
The sooner they get privatised the better... noooo: