The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => The Comedy Room => Topic started by: Steve on February 07, 2013, 01:46:18 PM
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One 5 year old joke posted by one allegedly 5 yr old mental age newbie in a moment of madness
In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Louisiana State University .
On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee, inspected the elephants foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.
The elephant turned to face the man and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away. Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.
Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.
Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter could not help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.
Probably wasn't the same flipping elephant.
(shamelessly ripped off from CeeCee at yet another other place)
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AFFS! lol:
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Let him off, he's new and not expected to read all previous posts.
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Let him off, he's new and not expected to read all previous posts.
He hasn't read all the previous posts??? eeek:
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[Chris Huhne mode?]
Your honour, members of the Jury and other reprobates I wish to enter a plea on my defence
It was the search engine wot is to blame, it is defective, it needs its nipples greasing more than Barman's mini. Please have mercy on me, do not sentence me to the horrors of the children's room where bratlets scream, shout and drink tartrazine loaded drinks while their parents enjoy the Snug
[/Chris Huhne mode?]
Go try searching for elephant and forgets
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[Chris Huhne mode?]
Your honour, members of the Jury and other reprobates I wish to enter a plea on my defence
It was the search engine wot is to blame, it is defective, it needs its nipples greasing more than Barman's mini. Please have mercy on me, do not sentence me to the horrors of the children's room where bratlets scream, shout and drink tartrazine loaded drinks while their parents enjoy the Snug
[/Chris Huhne mode?]
Go try searching for elephant and forgets
rubschin:
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Here... lol: lol: lol:
http://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php?topic=3411.msg68032#msg68032 (http://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php?topic=3411.msg68032#msg68032)
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OK M'lud, should have searched for just elephant.
I'll go quietly, just please not the childrens room - anything but that
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OK M'lud, should have searched for just elephant.
I'll go quietly, just please not the childrens room - anything but that
the trick was to search for 'young bull elephant'.... ;)
No kiddies room for you before your CRB check comes through.... noooo:
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Good
I've been sending them all sorts of stuff to make sure that check failed. Did think of changing name by deed poll to Saville but even I have standards, and anyway there's a waiting list
So what's a worse punishment than the children's room? Please not the car park where the Kosovan Kar washers roam.
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I was wondering where he came from.......
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffc01.deviantart.net%2Ffs27%2Ff%2F2008%2F104%2Fc%2Fe%2FSnoopy__s_Confuzzled_by_Lord_Apples.jpg&hash=831b039cfe512df319770f3bfc440c05d78a3a81)
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Good
I've been sending them all sorts of stuff to make sure that check failed. Did think of changing name by deed poll to Saville but even I have standards, and anyway there's a waiting list
So what's a worse punishment than the children's room? Please not the car park where the Kosovan Kar washers roam.
The Naughty Step! eveilgrin:
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Yes please, that's where the bad girls are
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Yes please, that's where the bad girls are
Miss C will take you away...