The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Nick on November 13, 2012, 09:53:32 AM

Title: things you CAN'T do with one hand
Post by: Nick on November 13, 2012, 09:53:32 AM
knife and fork noooo:
shoe laces  noooo:
jar lids  noooo:
wash other side of  body  noooo:
get vertical without grunting noooo:

to be continued
Title: Re: things you CAN'T do with one hand
Post by: apc2010 on November 13, 2012, 09:59:46 AM
In fairness you couldn't do shoe laces with 2 hands........... whistle:
Title: Re: things you CAN'T do with one hand
Post by: Nick on November 13, 2012, 10:07:55 AM
have to go up and down stairs on my bottom  redface:
Title: Re: things you CAN'T do with one hand
Post by: GROWLER on November 13, 2012, 10:21:09 AM
have to go up and down stairs on my bottom  redface:

Broken your legs now too ey?  point:
Kept that one quiet ey? whistle:
Title: Re: things you CAN'T do with one hand
Post by: Darwins Selection on November 13, 2012, 10:45:07 AM
get vertical without grunting noooo:

That is related to age, not the available number of arms.

I don't remember the age at which it started, but it never stopped since then.  noooo:
Title: Re: things you CAN'T do with one hand
Post by: Misty on November 13, 2012, 11:24:38 AM
have to go up and down stairs on my bottom  redface:

 happy002 I would pay to see that!!!!! How the hell does a poorly arm stop you walking up the stairs?!
Ahhhhh, the first thread I have read this morning, that made my day that did.  happy002
 Oh, and feel bad for you and stuff.








(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-laughing025.gif&hash=7a4298b26c5798dc8b5007d78b2a431657bf780e) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
 happy002 happy002 happy002
Title: Re: things you CAN'T do with one hand
Post by: Nick on November 13, 2012, 11:42:15 AM
 Spank2: Spank2:
Title: Re: things you CAN'T do with one hand
Post by: Misty on November 13, 2012, 11:48:51 AM
iroic choice of smiley. The one handed spanker.  lol:
Title: Re: things you CAN'T do with one hand
Post by: Darwins Selection on November 13, 2012, 12:05:58 PM
The one handed spanker.  lol:

 lol: lol: lol:

That's Nick in a nutcase shell.  whistle:
Title: Re: things you CAN'T do with one hand
Post by: Misty on November 13, 2012, 12:25:19 PM
 lol: we aren't the most sympathic lot are we?
Title: Re: things you CAN'T do with one hand
Post by: Barman on November 13, 2012, 12:45:19 PM
In fairness you couldn't do shoe laces with 2 hands........... whistle:

 drumroll: happy001
Title: Re: things you CAN'T do with one hand
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on November 13, 2012, 02:13:21 PM
Masturbation is going to be a bit of a problem as you are a lefty or are you ambidextrous in that department?
Title: Re: things you CAN'T do with one hand
Post by: Nick on November 13, 2012, 02:30:10 PM
 evil:
Title: Re: things you CAN'T do with one hand
Post by: Miss Demeanour on November 13, 2012, 02:40:55 PM
Masturbation is going to be a bit of a problem as you are a lefty or are you ambidextrous in that department?

No , that's just ambitious  whistle:
Title: Re: things you CAN'T do with one hand
Post by: Nick on November 13, 2012, 02:42:28 PM
 Spank2:
Title: Re: things you CAN'T do with one hand
Post by: Snoopy on November 14, 2012, 08:56:12 AM
knife and fork noooo:
shoe laces  noooo:
jar lids  noooo:
wash other side of  body  noooo:
get vertical without grunting noooo:

to be continued

From Woodstock for your list ..... Wiping your arse is difficult.
Title: Re: things you CAN'T do with one hand
Post by: Nick on November 14, 2012, 08:59:52 AM
dunno. have codeine :thumbsup:
Title: Re: things you CAN'T do with one hand
Post by: Snoopy on November 14, 2012, 09:11:01 AM
So did she until she ran out of them .... I spoke to GP and got her Tramadol instead. Works as well as a painkiller, can be taken with Paracetamol and doesn't cause constipation. That's when she found out that wiping yer arse is difficult with one arm out of action.  noooo:
Title: Re: things you CAN'T do with one hand
Post by: tel on November 14, 2012, 04:08:04 PM
You will suddenly find that itches start where you cannot reach.
Title: Re: things you CAN'T do with one hand
Post by: Nick on November 14, 2012, 04:11:31 PM
i have a knitting needle  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: things you CAN'T do with one hand
Post by: Barman on November 14, 2012, 04:32:51 PM
i have a knitting needle  :thumbsup:

You'll be having yer eye out with that then....  noooo:
Title: Re: things you CAN'T do with one hand
Post by: Darwins Selection on November 14, 2012, 05:54:03 PM
i have a knitting needle  :thumbsup:
Time to knit a new sweater to keep Growler happy?
Title: Re: things you CAN'T do with one hand
Post by: Nick on November 14, 2012, 06:15:17 PM
 Spank2: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2:
Title: Re: things you CAN'T do with one hand
Post by: Grumpmeister on November 14, 2012, 06:34:45 PM
Keep that up Nick and you'll have an arm like Popeye  whistle:
Title: Re: things you CAN'T do with one hand
Post by: Misty on November 14, 2012, 08:08:38 PM
At least it will then match the other. The left arm is getting a rest for a change.  whistle:
Title: Re: things you CAN'T do with one hand
Post by: Nick on November 14, 2012, 08:15:22 PM
 Spank2: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2:
Title: Re: things you CAN'T do with one hand
Post by: Misty on November 14, 2012, 08:46:13 PM
I do know how frustrating it can be. happy100






 You must be well pissed off having to use the same fuckin smiley over and over again.
Title: Re: things you CAN'T do with one hand
Post by: Nick on November 14, 2012, 08:48:11 PM
my spoon skills are coming along :thumbsup:
Title: Re: things you CAN'T do with one hand
Post by: Misty on November 14, 2012, 08:53:41 PM
A girl likes a guy who can spoon.  cloud9:
Title: Re: things you CAN'T do with one hand
Post by: Nick on November 14, 2012, 08:54:52 PM
i keep missing my mouth  redface:
Title: Re: things you CAN'T do with one hand
Post by: Misty on November 14, 2012, 09:05:00 PM
are you three? could not not eat one handed before? Do you have other issues that we dont know about hun? ie....no right hand? If so, I am really sorry.  redface:
Title: Re: things you CAN'T do with one hand
Post by: Miss Demeanour on November 14, 2012, 09:07:49 PM
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ft2.gstatic.com%2Fimages%3Fq%3Dtbn%3AANd9GcRlVoabRsCAtCIXezHI3zTvP7WFGmvjT0MUqq-yR5bYoFvqJobh&hash=6243115d4306232c50374d896e8ddca55d84a443)

 whistle:
Title: Re: things you CAN'T do with one hand
Post by: Nick on November 14, 2012, 09:13:00 PM
my sis has to tie my shoelaces  redface:
Title: Re: things you CAN'T do with one hand
Post by: Darwins Selection on November 14, 2012, 09:21:10 PM
i keep missing my mouth  redface:

That seems quite implausible.
Title: Re: things you CAN'T do with one hand
Post by: Nick on November 14, 2012, 09:25:23 PM
YOU TRY IT WITH THE WRONG HAND  cussing: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2:
Title: Re: things you CAN'T do with one hand
Post by: Darwins Selection on November 14, 2012, 09:29:24 PM
YOU TRY IT WITH THE WRONG HAND  cussing: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2:

Is it because your foot is already in there?
Title: Re: things you CAN'T do with one hand
Post by: Nick on November 14, 2012, 09:32:42 PM
 Angry9:
Title: Re: things you CAN'T do with one hand
Post by: Misty on November 14, 2012, 09:46:04 PM
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ft2.gstatic.com%2Fimages%3Fq%3Dtbn%3AANd9GcRlVoabRsCAtCIXezHI3zTvP7WFGmvjT0MUqq-yR5bYoFvqJobh&hash=6243115d4306232c50374d896e8ddca55d84a443)

 whistle:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: things you CAN'T do with one hand
Post by: Grumpmeister on November 14, 2012, 09:46:35 PM
YOU TRY IT WITH THE WRONG HAND  cussing: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2:

It doesn't matter which one you use though Nick, either way you are cack handed.  whistle:
Title: Re: things you CAN'T do with one hand
Post by: Misty on November 14, 2012, 09:47:35 PM
YOU TRY IT WITH THE WRONG HAND  cussing: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2:

Is it because your foot is already in there?

thats why he has to slide down the stairs on his bum! It all makes sense now.
Title: Re: things you CAN'T do with one hand
Post by: Just One More on November 14, 2012, 10:02:59 PM
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ft2.gstatic.com%2Fimages%3Fq%3Dtbn%3AANd9GcRlVoabRsCAtCIXezHI3zTvP7WFGmvjT0MUqq-yR5bYoFvqJobh&hash=6243115d4306232c50374d896e8ddca55d84a443)

 whistle:

 lol: lol: lol:

 lol:  lol:  lol:  lol:
Title: Re: things you CAN'T do with one hand
Post by: Nick on November 14, 2012, 10:13:57 PM
 Spank2: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2: Spank2:
Title: Re: things you CAN'T do with one hand
Post by: Baldy on November 14, 2012, 11:05:58 PM
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ft2.gstatic.com%2Fimages%3Fq%3Dtbn%3AANd9GcRlVoabRsCAtCIXezHI3zTvP7WFGmvjT0MUqq-yR5bYoFvqJobh&hash=6243115d4306232c50374d896e8ddca55d84a443)

 whistle:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: things you CAN'T do with one hand
Post by: Snoopy on November 15, 2012, 11:54:04 AM
Message from Woodstock:
Why does a nurse (Wiv a degree!!!) say "If you need anything just press the call bell" and place the fecking thing on the side of the bed adjacent to her broken arm?  Banghead
Title: Re: things you CAN'T do with one hand
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on November 15, 2012, 05:31:17 PM
Message from Woodstock:
Why does a nurse (Wiv a degree!!!) say "If you need anything just press the call bell" and place the fecking thing on the side of the bed adjacent to her broken arm?  Banghead

She's prolly in a target for how many times the bell is pressed . . . .