The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Nick on September 18, 2012, 08:42:05 PM

Title: The perfect crime or money making scheme?
Post by: Nick on September 18, 2012, 08:42:05 PM
OK. Time is running out

1. Steal it  noooo:
2. Inherit it  noooo:
3. Earn it TRICKY AT PRESENT
4. Borrow it  noooo:

Any other suggestions?
Title: Re: The perfect crime or money making scheme?
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on September 18, 2012, 09:09:05 PM
Betterwear have some vacancies.
Title: Re: The perfect crime or money making scheme?
Post by: Nick on September 18, 2012, 09:21:55 PM
 sad24:
Title: Re: The perfect crime or money making scheme?
Post by: The Moan Ranger on September 19, 2012, 05:19:29 AM
Join me at Gatwick  :thumbsup:  It'll shift some of your lardiness. Oh and we don't take the piss out of gingers...not at all  whistle:
Title: Re: The perfect crime or money making scheme?
Post by: Barman on September 19, 2012, 05:21:11 AM
OK. Time is running out

1. Steal it  noooo:
2. Inherit it  noooo:
3. Earn it TRICKY AT PRESENT
4. Borrow it  noooo:

Any other suggestions?

I'm broke, sorry....  whistle:
Title: Re: The perfect crime or money making scheme?
Post by: Snoopy on September 19, 2012, 08:24:29 AM
OK. Time is running out

1. Steal it  noooo:
2. Inherit it  noooo:
3. Earn it TRICKY AT PRESENT
4. Borrow it  noooo:

Any other suggestions?

If it is any consolation, but I doubt that it is, there are many of us in the same boat.

If only we had entered the banking profession we wouldn't have these problems but too late now.

Have you considered taking "Early retirement" and drawing down some of your pensions? That seems to be the route favoured by the public sector.
Title: Re: The perfect crime or money making scheme?
Post by: Miss Demeanour on September 19, 2012, 08:27:38 AM
Claim benefits  whistle:
Title: Re: The perfect crime or money making scheme?
Post by: Nick on September 19, 2012, 08:28:20 AM
Can't get my pension till I am 60  noooo:
Title: Re: The perfect crime or money making scheme?
Post by: Snoopy on September 19, 2012, 08:32:58 AM
Think of someone who may have offended you and sue them.

Accuse News Corp of hacking your site ~ they seem to pay out without question these days.

Write to anyone you may have had a mortgage or credit card with in the last 6 years and claim to have been miss-sold insurance. They too seem to pay out to shut people up.

Break a leg and sue the council for failing to maintain safe footpaths.
Title: Re: The perfect crime or money making scheme?
Post by: Snoopy on September 19, 2012, 08:33:22 AM
Can't get my pension till I am 60  noooo:


Not too long to wait then  razz:
Title: Re: The perfect crime or money making scheme?
Post by: Miss Demeanour on September 19, 2012, 08:46:27 AM
Get divorced and get a fair settlement  whistle:
Title: Re: The perfect crime or money making scheme?
Post by: Snoopy on September 19, 2012, 09:04:10 AM
Get divorced and get a fair settlement  whistle:


I am far from convinced that any man gets a "Fair Settlement" in a divorce.

Having personally handed over the family home and contents, been ordered by the courts to pay 50% of future salary over as "maintenance", I was astonished to be subsequently forced to cash in all life and endowment policies as well as pension funds and hand over 50% of the resultant much reduced payouts. Since by then I had already suffered a heart attack the purchase of further life insurance became unaffordable as did endowment insurance with the result that I have no insurance to provide for my family in the event of my death.
Title: Re: The perfect crime or money making scheme?
Post by: Darwins Selection on September 19, 2012, 11:33:32 AM
Get divorced and get a fair settlement  whistle:

I am far from convinced that any man gets a "Fair Settlement" in a divorce.

It helps if he has a QC in the family.  whistle:
Title: Re: The perfect crime or money making scheme?
Post by: Snoopy on September 19, 2012, 01:45:13 PM
Get divorced and get a fair settlement  whistle:

I am far from convinced that any man gets a "Fair Settlement" in a divorce.

It helps if he has a QC in the family.  whistle:

 rubschin: I can see that would be useful.
Title: Re: The perfect crime or money making scheme?
Post by: Nick on September 19, 2012, 01:48:49 PM
My nephew in law is a QC. He's a bastard evil:
Title: Re: The perfect crime or money making scheme?
Post by: Snoopy on September 19, 2012, 01:50:56 PM
Ackchooly my Sister in Law is a barrister ..... and she's pretty weird.
Title: Re: The perfect crime or money making scheme?
Post by: Pastis on September 19, 2012, 02:58:56 PM
Sell a body part   whistle:
Title: Re: The perfect crime or money making scheme?
Post by: Barman on September 19, 2012, 03:13:13 PM
Sell a body part   whistle:

He could go on the game like!  Thumbs:











happy001
Title: Re: The perfect crime or money making scheme?
Post by: Darwins Selection on September 19, 2012, 03:43:34 PM
OK. Time is running out

1. Steal it  noooo:
2. Inherit it  noooo:
3. Earn it TRICKY AT PRESENT
4. Borrow it  noooo:

Any other suggestions?

Running low on gingerbread?
Title: Re: The perfect crime or money making scheme?
Post by: Uncle Mort on September 19, 2012, 04:50:28 PM
Put an Amazon link on your website.  whistle:
Title: Re: The perfect crime or money making scheme?
Post by: Snoopy on September 19, 2012, 05:14:45 PM
 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: The perfect crime or money making scheme?
Post by: Barman on September 19, 2012, 05:28:51 PM
 lol: lol: lol: lol: