The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => The Comedy Room => Topic started by: Just One More on June 28, 2012, 09:15:19 PM

Title: A bit too near the truth
Post by: Just One More on June 28, 2012, 09:15:19 PM
THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT HERE IN OUR OWN COUNTRY! We Must Stop This Immediately!

Have you noticed that stairs are getting steeper, shopping is heavier, and everything is further away. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become!
And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they're red in the face! What do they think I am, a lip reader?

I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn't even recognise me. I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own reflection. Well, REALLY NOW-even mirrors aren't made the way they used to be!

Another thing, everyone drives so fast these days! You're risking life and limb if you happen to pull onto the motorway in front of them. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.

Clothing manufacturers are less civilised these days. Why else would they suddenly start labelling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do they think no one notices?  The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank. Do they think I actually 'believe' the number I see on that dial? HA! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people think they're fooling?

I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going on -- but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they've printed the phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a number in there!

All I can do is pass along this warning:
WE ARE UNDER ATTACK! Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have to suffer these awful indignities

PS: I am writing this in a larger font size, because something has happened to my computer's fonts - they are smaller than they used to be.
Title: Re: A bit too near the truth
Post by: Tipsy Gipsy on June 28, 2012, 09:19:19 PM
 happy100
Title: Re: A bit too near the truth
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 28, 2012, 09:50:20 PM
 sad24:
Title: Re: A bit too near the truth
Post by: Tipsy Gipsy on June 28, 2012, 09:59:07 PM
sad24:


Oh dear, you too?  You'd better have one of these as well.  happy100
Title: Re: A bit too near the truth
Post by: Nick on June 28, 2012, 10:05:36 PM
 sad24: sad24: sad24: sad24: sad24: sad24:
Title: Re: A bit too near the truth
Post by: Just One More on June 29, 2012, 04:51:43 AM
 point:  Nick never got a hug
Title: Re: A bit too near the truth
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 29, 2012, 04:55:41 AM
point:  Nick never got a hug
point:
Title: Re: A bit too near the truth
Post by: Miss Demeanour on June 29, 2012, 05:01:23 AM
Yipsy knows best  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: A bit too near the truth
Post by: Just One More on June 29, 2012, 05:29:24 AM
Quick, change it before anybody notices like  whistle:
Title: Re: A bit too near the truth
Post by: Tipsy Gipsy on June 29, 2012, 05:45:55 AM
Too late.  ;D
Title: Re: A bit too near the truth
Post by: Barman on June 29, 2012, 06:23:29 AM
 sad24:
Title: Re: A bit too near the truth
Post by: Just One More on October 13, 2012, 02:38:16 PM
Certainly not my type of music,  but so much of this rings true with me already (http://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/6dbBfXCMbH4?rel=0)  noooo:

Title: Re: A bit too near the truth
Post by: Barman on October 13, 2012, 03:05:53 PM
Certainly not my type of music,  but so much of this rings true with me already (http://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/6dbBfXCMbH4?rel=0)  noooo:

 lol: lol: lol: lol:












 sad24: sad24: sad24: sad24: sad24: sad24: sad24: sad24: sad24:
Title: Re: A bit too near the truth
Post by: Pirate on October 13, 2012, 03:12:48 PM
Ma y true word...
Title: Re: A bit too near the truth
Post by: Tipsy Gipsy on October 13, 2012, 03:30:57 PM
Tosh!  I've read what those here post..... none of you seems to be growing up anytime soon.  lol: