The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on June 26, 2012, 08:42:26 AM

Title: Get your money out now!
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on June 26, 2012, 08:42:26 AM
This story, and no, it's not about Nat West, should have the Smug Club a bit worried!

Seems that Cyprus is the latest to put its hand out for some dosh.

http://news.yahoo.com/spain-requests-eu-aid-market-hopes-dim-102858187--business.html (http://news.yahoo.com/spain-requests-eu-aid-market-hopes-dim-102858187--business.html)
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: apc2010 on June 26, 2012, 08:57:10 AM
They also asked the Russians for 5 billion ........... eeek:
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Barman on June 26, 2012, 09:41:32 AM
We're fucked...  noooo:
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 26, 2012, 10:29:20 AM
We're fucked...  noooo:

When you say "we". . . .
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Miss Demeanour on June 26, 2012, 10:45:17 AM
That accounts for the tardiness this morning then !
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Barman on June 26, 2012, 10:47:59 AM
We're fucked...  noooo:

When you say "we". . . .

Yes, you remember when you joined up here and clicked 'I accept the terms and conditions.....'  whistle:
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Miss Demeanour on June 26, 2012, 11:43:53 AM
Not sure where in my current list of creditors this request would be located  noooo:
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Barman on June 26, 2012, 11:59:51 AM
Not sure where in my current list of creditors this request would be located  noooo:

At the very top no doubt!  Thumbs:
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 26, 2012, 12:22:42 PM
We're fucked...  noooo:

When you say "we". . . .

Yes, you remember when you joined up here and clicked 'I accept the terms and conditions.....'  whistle:

I can easily get a letter signed by 2 doctors, stating I was not of sound mind while clicking.  whistle:
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Barman on June 26, 2012, 12:31:40 PM
We're fucked...  noooo:

When you say "we". . . .

Yes, you remember when you joined up here and clicked 'I accept the terms and conditions.....'  whistle:

I can easily get a letter signed by 2 doctors, stating I was not of sound mind while clicking.  whistle:

Or ever....?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Miss Demeanour on June 26, 2012, 12:33:41 PM
We're fucked...  noooo:

When you say "we". . . .

Yes, you remember when you joined up here and clicked 'I accept the terms and conditions.....'  whistle:

I can easily get a letter signed by 2 doctors, stating I was not of sound mind while clicking.  whistle:

They may think you are referring to your hips  whistle:
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 26, 2012, 02:42:04 PM
We're fucked...  noooo:

When you say "we". . . .

Yes, you remember when you joined up here and clicked 'I accept the terms and conditions.....'  whistle:

I can easily get a letter signed by 2 doctors, stating I was not of sound mind while clicking.  whistle:

They may think you are referring to your hips  whistle:

Or the knees, don't forget the knees.  noooo:
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Snoopy on June 26, 2012, 03:46:42 PM
You too DS?

Woodstock is only 53 but sounds like a Geiger Counter when she is going up the stairs.  noooo:
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Barman on June 26, 2012, 04:27:09 PM
You too DS?

Woodstock is only 53 but sounds like a Geiger Counter when she is going up the stairs.  noooo:

Me too....  noooo:
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Nick on June 26, 2012, 04:33:35 PM
Poor poo poo  point:
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on June 27, 2012, 07:05:11 AM
You too DS?

Woodstock is only 53 but sounds like a Geiger Counter when she is going up the stairs.  noooo:

Me too. redface: noooo: Prof extracted 80 ml of fluid from my knee on Monday, injected steroid and said 'no wonder you were in so much pain that should help, you have an appointment to come back as and when you need to'. Still click and come down the stairs either backwards or like a crab.

Still makes no difference Cyprus is right royally fucked.
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Baldy on June 27, 2012, 07:07:45 AM
A new business venture for The Smug Club.......... manufacturing mahoosive brown envelopes.

If they get that sort of amount then there will be loads of bribes going around. Normal envelopes would not be big enough.
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Barman on June 27, 2012, 07:11:41 AM
A new business venture for The Smug Club.......... manufacturing mahoosive brown envelopes.

If they get that sort of amount then there will be loads of bribes going around. Normal envelopes would not be big enough.

 lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Barman on June 27, 2012, 11:01:49 AM
Quote
Meine Freunde der Weg nach vorne aufgebaut

Welcome to the Greater Germanic republic of Cyprus. ( henceforth GG ROC)

As your bonds are no longer suitable for purpose ( securing more debt from any central bank) and you are lacking in the wallet department it's time we saddled you with debts you can never hope to repay ( after all you can't meet your current payments).

Besides interest we will require the following conditions -

1. All sun beds to be reserved for German citizens
2. Civil servants must actually work
3. There are only 3 types of culturally acceptable music - Beethoven , bad techno pop and the oompah bands
4. People must actually produce/work to get paid
5. Non payment of taxes is punishable by enforced listening to German pop music - 3 hours per euro owed
6. The purchase of Japanese cars or electronic goods ist verboten
7. No pension until 67 years old
8. Shadenfreude to become an official sport
9. Accept the fact that you are non aryan and hence untermensch suitable for menial/agricultural/ restaurant work under new German managers
10. democracy to be modified .... We will insert the following addendum to your constitution/legislature -

From time to time,when we deem it necessary, ZE FATHERLAND shall empower unelected, suitably qualified,technocrats
to run your country.... This may last for 12-1000 years

11. As you will spend at least 50 years paying back our money ( after all it's actually all German money - everyone else in Der reich .... OOOps I meant greater Germanic co prosperity sphere... Verdamnt ich mean Eurozone .....is broke too) we will resolve the Cyprus issue to our satisfaction not yours.
12. Absolutely no COlA, 13th salary, large family payments for non Germans
13. naturism is mandatory
14. You will all love and obey " Der panzerfrau"
15. Be happy ..... We dislike turks as much as you do ..... Unless , of course, they are buying from German suppliers in which case .........

For your consideration - A pledge of allegiance for greek speaking people -

Ich pledge allegiance to the flag of Euroland and to the Greater german empire for which it stands, Ein volk who are equal to God, indivisible ( under our rules - or else !! ) With liberty for few and injustice for most.

Alles ist klaa I trust and welcome to the true Eurozone .

 scared2: scared2: scared2:
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Barman on June 27, 2012, 11:02:31 AM
On a serious note....

We tried to get some cash out of the Bank of Cyprus today and they didn't have any!  eeek:
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Nick on June 27, 2012, 11:17:42 AM
 eeek: eeek:
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: apc2010 on June 27, 2012, 11:33:51 AM
On a serious note....

We tried to get some cash out of the Bank of Cyprus today and they didn't have any!  eeek:


Wot........... eeek: eeek: eeek:

Or had Baldy been in with a shooter ...... rubschin:
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Barman on June 27, 2012, 11:37:35 AM
On a serious note....

We tried to get some cash out of the Bank of Cyprus today and they didn't have any!  eeek:


Wot........... eeek: eeek: eeek:

Or had Baldy been in with a shooter ...... rubschin:

 noooo:
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: apc2010 on June 27, 2012, 11:48:20 AM
Just wait till the end of the season for a few electrical fires .......... noooo:         
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on June 28, 2012, 07:49:34 AM
On a serious note....

We tried to get some cash out of the Bank of Cyprus today and they didn't have any!  eeek:

Welll . . . . I did warn you!     ::)
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Barman on June 28, 2012, 07:51:26 AM
Bank manager called this morning and asked if we would take a cheque?  eeek:
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Miss Demeanour on June 28, 2012, 07:51:49 AM
 scared2: scared2: scared2:
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Barman on June 28, 2012, 07:53:05 AM
scared2: scared2: scared2:

I know!  eeek: eeek:
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on June 28, 2012, 07:58:06 AM
The time to really get worried is when he asks you for a loan!
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Barman on June 28, 2012, 09:17:47 AM
The time to really get worried is when he asks you for a loan!

Which is what I am effectively doing!  evil:
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: apc2010 on June 28, 2012, 10:27:28 AM
I got cash today........... rubschin:
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Barman on June 28, 2012, 10:33:34 AM
I got cash today........... rubschin:

Thass my cash!  cussing:
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: apc2010 on June 28, 2012, 11:41:09 AM
I got cash today........... rubschin:

Thass my cash!  cussing:

I will spend it wisely............. whistle:
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 28, 2012, 11:44:36 AM
I got cash today........... rubschin:

Thass my cash!  cussing:

I will drink it wisely............. whistle:
  whistle:
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: apc2010 on June 28, 2012, 11:46:58 AM
I got cash today........... rubschin:

Thass my cash!  cussing:

I will drink it wisely............. whistle:
  whistle:


Is that not the same thing........... rubschin:........... redface:
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Barman on June 28, 2012, 02:21:17 PM
Just had a power cut... I was expecting "Cyprus in can't pay electricity bill nightmare" headlines...  noooo:
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Miss Demeanour on June 28, 2012, 02:54:00 PM
You could ask for a VP bail out.... whistle:
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 28, 2012, 03:19:08 PM
You could ask for a VP bail out.... whistle:

 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001


 redface:
Of course we would stand well clear of side by side with BM in his hour of need.
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Nick on June 28, 2012, 03:22:30 PM
He could always sell the Mini  rubschin:
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on June 28, 2012, 03:54:29 PM
Well . . . . we could - - if it were in one piece like . . .
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Pastis on June 28, 2012, 03:57:57 PM
Parts are probably worth more   rubschin:
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Nick on June 28, 2012, 03:58:35 PM
Well he has lots of parts  whistle:
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on June 28, 2012, 03:59:34 PM
. . . . . . if only he knew where they all were . . .
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Nick on June 28, 2012, 04:00:34 PM
In the wishdosher?
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on June 28, 2012, 05:27:10 PM
Nickerism!
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: apc2010 on June 29, 2012, 12:29:40 PM
Just had a power cut... I was expecting "BM in can't pay electricity bill nightmare" headlines...  noooo:


 whistle:
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Barman on June 29, 2012, 01:56:07 PM
Got to the bank at lunchtime....

"Sorry, we haven't got any money but it will be here soon!"  eeek:

Waited outside at a taverna (had a few pints) and about an hour later the security company turned up with cash in a plastic bag...

Ten minutes later our phone went, "your money is ready"...

  noooo:
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Nick on June 29, 2012, 01:58:07 PM
Bang goes the smug club  noooo:
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Barman on June 29, 2012, 02:10:45 PM
Bang goes the smug club  noooo:

Indeed... I shall have to call in all your tabs....  whistle:
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Snoopy on June 29, 2012, 02:51:54 PM
 Shocked:
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Nick on June 29, 2012, 02:57:08 PM
 Shocked: Shocked:
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Barman on June 29, 2012, 03:35:16 PM
 Sinister:
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Nick on June 29, 2012, 03:36:47 PM
 Whatevah:
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Snoopy on June 29, 2012, 03:39:07 PM
Sinister:

A cheque is in the post ...... but I suspect it will be one of the 1million items the Royal Mail admit to mislaying every month.  whistle:
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Barman on June 29, 2012, 03:41:29 PM
Sinister:

A cheque is in the post ...... but I suspect it will be one of the 1million items the Royal Mail admit to mislaying every month.  whistle:

 evil:
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on June 29, 2012, 05:22:48 PM
Next week I will be opening several branches of the all new but very simple 'Mattress Bank.  Terms and conditions will apply. 
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Miss Demeanour on June 29, 2012, 10:16:37 PM
Do you have to have a sleeping partner to open an account ?
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 29, 2012, 10:23:17 PM
Do you have to have a sleeping partner to open an account ?
Nobody springs to mind.
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Barman on June 30, 2012, 05:05:59 AM
Do you have to have a sleeping partner to open an account ?

 drumroll:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Uncle Mort on June 30, 2012, 06:22:09 AM
Got to the bank at lunchtime....

"Sorry, we haven't got any money but it will be here soon!"  eeek:

Waited outside at a taverna (had a few pints) and about an hour later the security company turned up with cash in a plastic bag...

Ten minutes later our phone went, "your money is ready"...

  noooo:

Lufthansa flight must have been delayed.
Title: Re: Get your money out now!
Post by: Barman on June 30, 2012, 12:59:12 PM
Got to the bank at lunchtime....

"Sorry, we haven't got any money but it will be here soon!"  eeek:

Waited outside at a taverna (had a few pints) and about an hour later the security company turned up with cash in a plastic bag...

Ten minutes later our phone went, "your money is ready"...

  noooo:

Lufthansa flight must have been delayed.

 lol: lol: lol: