The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Miss Demeanour on May 14, 2012, 01:04:55 PM

Title: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 14, 2012, 01:04:55 PM
http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/london/blackadder-star-tony-robinson-trains-rail-staff-to-deliver-comedy-announcements-7745404.html (http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/london/blackadder-star-tony-robinson-trains-rail-staff-to-deliver-comedy-announcements-7745404.html)

Quote
Blackadder actor Tony Robinson has come up with a cunning plan to make the morning commute from London to Birmingham more bearable.

The actor and presenter has teamed up with Richard Preddy, who wrote the sitcom Green Wing, on a series of witty announcements to be played on trains between Birmingham and London and at Marylebone Station.

Preddy wrote the lines while Robinson, who played dim-witted Baldrick in Blackadder, spent a month with staff on Chiltern Railways helping them learn the lines.

A month to learn a few lines  eeek: eeek: eeek:

Quote
Among the announcements passengers will hear are:

"I'd like to welcome passengers boarding this 7.33 from Birmingham Moor Street to London Marylebone. If you've just bumped into someone who you barely know, you now have one hour and 30 minutes of awkward small talk. Good luck."

"For any passengers who've not visited London before, do please prepare yourselves for the capitals overwhelmingly calm and relaxing pace of life."

"We will shortly be passing through West Ruislip where we will be racing the Underground trains. Do please feel free to cheer for our driver."

"Will any passengers listening to noisy iPods please get a better taste in music. Thank you."

Hilarious  noooo:

Perhaps the VP could offer alternatives  rubschin:
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Nick on May 14, 2012, 01:10:55 PM
Good grief  eeek:
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Snoopy on May 14, 2012, 01:15:00 PM
I could use my natural Wessex accent and do impersonations of Phil Harding saying things like: 'Ere ~ 'ave a look a' this Tonee"

Or I could do a reasonable Brummy accent and pretend to be Mick Aston saying things like "It's either ritual or high status"


 rubschin: Wonder how long before one of the Train Managers appears wearing his underpants on his head, knitting needles stuck up his nose and saying "Wibble"
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Nick on May 14, 2012, 01:20:50 PM
Tony Robinson should die. I volunteer. Is strangulation too good for him?
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 14, 2012, 01:21:55 PM
You could do your running Cow TV commentary - it's a rib splitter  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Nick on May 14, 2012, 01:25:56 PM
 cloud9:
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 14, 2012, 02:30:58 PM
Tony Robinson should die. I volunteer. Is strangulation too good for him?

Drown him in a vat of his own drivel.
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Pastis on May 14, 2012, 03:44:34 PM

"For any passengers who've not visited London before, do please prepare yourselves for the capitals overwhelmingly calm and relaxing pace of life."


The humour's on a par with the grammar  ::)
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Nick on May 14, 2012, 04:39:38 PM
 :thumbsup: noooo:
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Pastis on May 14, 2012, 04:54:25 PM
Ackchewly, the last time I went up to Brum on the train I got really pi$$ed off with the never ending announcements ...   evil:

They even come through in the "Quiet Zone"   ::)
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Nick on May 14, 2012, 05:03:40 PM
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Big-Babies-Cant-Just-Grow/dp/1862079528 (http://www.amazon.co.uk/Big-Babies-Cant-Just-Grow/dp/1862079528)  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 14, 2012, 05:04:26 PM
london underground funny song (uncensored + lyrics) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIjLhbnBK-c#)
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Pastis on May 14, 2012, 05:09:08 PM
Luxembourg appeals ....   rubschin:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-17543356 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-17543356)
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 14, 2012, 05:12:17 PM
I got stumped when it asked for pre tax monthly income ...haven't a clue without working it out  redface:

Only really know what I should take home  redface:
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 14, 2012, 06:29:24 PM
The only message that would make my morning commute bearable would be one telling my why my fooking train gets cancelled 3 minutes before it is due to arrive which means I either have to take the bus or next train and not have enough time to get a coffee before work starts!!!  cussing:
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 14, 2012, 06:31:24 PM
Inadequate planning on your part dear boy  whistle:

Always assume the worst - that's my life motto  lol:
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 14, 2012, 06:38:55 PM
Naff orf Miss D, I have to get up early enough as it is.  whistle:
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Nick on May 14, 2012, 06:40:44 PM
Inadequate planning on your part dear boy  whistle:

Always assume the worst - that's my life motto  lol:

Mr  Left is on his way :thumbsup:

Unfortunately noooo:
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 14, 2012, 06:43:06 PM
Naff orf Miss D, I have to get up early enough as it is.  whistle:

Naff orf -  ;)

You obviously completed your Cornish education  whistle:
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 14, 2012, 06:48:38 PM
 Finger:
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Barman on May 14, 2012, 06:53:06 PM
Now, now children... or 'uncle' as they say in Cornwall....  whistle:
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 14, 2012, 06:56:56 PM
Finger:

Did you lose the other fingertips getting them caught in the till ?  whistle:
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Barman on May 14, 2012, 06:58:28 PM
Finger:

Did you lose the other fingertips getting them caught in the til ?  whistle:

Nah - it is an in-breeding birth defect....  whistle:
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 14, 2012, 06:58:43 PM
I'll take a lot of mickey taking but questioning my integrity is a tad too far.
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 14, 2012, 07:02:39 PM
I'll take a lot of mickey taking but questioning my integrity is a tad too far.

 scared2: scared2: scared2:

Ooooohhhh a Tad too far .....a tad eh  ;)

Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 14, 2012, 07:18:25 PM
I will go and put myself on the naughty step  redface:
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Barman on May 14, 2012, 07:22:23 PM
I will go and put myself on the naughty step  redface:

I'll join you...  lol:
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Pirate on May 14, 2012, 07:23:54 PM
I will go and put myself on the naughty step  redface:

Sitting...or kneeling...
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 14, 2012, 07:33:08 PM
Whatever earns me forgiveness quicker  lol:
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Pirate on May 14, 2012, 07:36:12 PM
God would prolly prefer you kneeling...I know I would...either way...
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Pirate on May 14, 2012, 07:37:16 PM
Good grief... noooo:
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Pirate on May 14, 2012, 07:46:13 PM
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs12.postimage.org%2F8g7kso4op%2Fdownload.jpg&hash=419ba09d3239927d7fb942c522748ab17ad6d4de)
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 14, 2012, 07:52:08 PM
IS Nick going to claim copyright ?  lol:
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Pirate on May 14, 2012, 07:52:58 PM
prolly...or part thereof...

Do you mean the image...or the DOuble capital
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Nick on May 14, 2012, 08:22:29 PM
MR THread?
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Pirate on May 14, 2012, 08:26:23 PM
Ahh...there you are...
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on May 14, 2012, 09:02:41 PM
(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs12.postimage.org%2F8g7kso4op%2Fdownload.jpg&hash=419ba09d3239927d7fb942c522748ab17ad6d4de)

Oooo I like small blue and red boxes. noooo:
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 15, 2012, 07:27:21 PM
It that what Sanatogen packets look like these days?  whistle:






 scared:
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Pirate on May 15, 2012, 07:33:18 PM
I thought she was referring to Tena Lights

 scared:

(Have you see the actress in the current advert?)   eyes: Must be Miss C

Tena Lights advert (UK) - Oops / Trapped Dress (June 2011) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SNABjf3sLc0#ws)
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on May 16, 2012, 12:21:35 PM
http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/london/blackadder-star-tony-robinson-trains-rail-staff-to-deliver-comedy-announcements-7745404.html (http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/london/blackadder-star-tony-robinson-trains-rail-staff-to-deliver-comedy-announcements-7745404.html)

Quote
Blackadder actor Tony Robinson has come up with a cunning plan to make the morning commute from London to Birmingham more bearable.

The actor and presenter has teamed up with Richard Preddy, who wrote the sitcom Green Wing, on a series of witty announcements to be played on trains between Birmingham and London and at Marylebone Station.

Preddy wrote the lines while Robinson, who played dim-witted Baldrick in Blackadder, spent a month with staff on Chiltern Railways helping them learn the lines.

A month to learn a few lines  eeek: eeek: eeek:

Quote
Among the announcements passengers will hear are:

"I'd like to welcome passengers boarding this 7.33 from Birmingham Moor Street to London Marylebone. If you've just bumped into someone who you barely know, you now have one hour and 30 minutes of awkward small talk. Good luck."

"For any passengers who've not visited London before, do please prepare yourselves for the capitals overwhelmingly calm and relaxing pace of life."

"We will shortly be passing through West Ruislip where we will be racing the Underground trains. Do please feel free to cheer for our driver."

"Will any passengers listening to noisy iPods please get a better taste in music. Thank you."

Hilarious  noooo:

Perhaps the VP could offer alternatives  rubschin:


Daahling one should have a little man who drives. ;)
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 16, 2012, 12:31:21 PM
I have a little man who dives ...does that count ?  whistle:
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Barman on May 16, 2012, 12:33:02 PM
http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/london/blackadder-star-tony-robinson-trains-rail-staff-to-deliver-comedy-announcements-7745404.html (http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/london/blackadder-star-tony-robinson-trains-rail-staff-to-deliver-comedy-announcements-7745404.html)

Quote
Blackadder actor Tony Robinson has come up with a cunning plan to make the morning commute from London to Birmingham more bearable.

The actor and presenter has teamed up with Richard Preddy, who wrote the sitcom Green Wing, on a series of witty announcements to be played on trains between Birmingham and London and at Marylebone Station.

Preddy wrote the lines while Robinson, who played dim-witted Baldrick in Blackadder, spent a month with staff on Chiltern Railways helping them learn the lines.

A month to learn a few lines  eeek: eeek: eeek:

Quote
Among the announcements passengers will hear are:

"I'd like to welcome passengers boarding this 7.33 from Birmingham Moor Street to London Marylebone. If you've just bumped into someone who you barely know, you now have one hour and 30 minutes of awkward small talk. Good luck."

"For any passengers who've not visited London before, do please prepare yourselves for the capitals overwhelmingly calm and relaxing pace of life."

"We will shortly be passing through West Ruislip where we will be racing the Underground trains. Do please feel free to cheer for our driver."

"Will any passengers listening to noisy iPods please get a better taste in music. Thank you."

Hilarious  noooo:

Perhaps the VP could offer alternatives  rubschin:


Daahling one should have a little man who drives. ;)

TMR?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 16, 2012, 02:32:10 PM
I have a little man who dives ...does that count ?  whistle:

 shutup:
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Pirate on May 16, 2012, 02:32:38 PM
I have a little man who dives ...does that count ?  whistle:

 shutup:
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Pirate on May 16, 2012, 02:34:09 PM
Dirty Great Minds...
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Nick on May 16, 2012, 02:42:09 PM

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs18.postimage.org%2Fmt27qoumt%2Fdownload.jpg&hash=fa69c614744fd6096fb393978acb95229d5f0659) (http://postimage.org/)
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Pirate on May 16, 2012, 02:58:43 PM
(https://encrypted-tbn3.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTI-3fi3lwIKq3pQbz448ZotpIdfscmkL4wDcqZoRL1rJ3j6ot53w)
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Pastis on May 16, 2012, 03:39:50 PM
Back to the OP, wtf is the point of this?  Connecting 2 Olympic venues, completion some time this summer, prolly after the Olympics   noooo:

£50m cable car over London (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUOZikDH5ao#ws)
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Barman on May 16, 2012, 04:05:03 PM
Facepalm  noooo:
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 16, 2012, 05:17:01 PM
Back to the OP, wtf is the point of this?  Connecting 2 Olympic venues, completion some time this summer, prolly after the Olympics   noooo:

£50m cable car over London (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUOZikDH5ao#ws)

Indeed - lets locate 2 difficult to get to places by building a cable car  Banghead Banghead Banghead

Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 16, 2012, 05:24:36 PM
Would I be being overly cynical if I suspected that Seb has a friend who owns a cable car making company?  rubschin:
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Nick on May 16, 2012, 05:25:32 PM
Back to the OP, wtf is the point of this?  Connecting 2 Olympic venues, completion some time this summer, prolly after the Olympics   noooo:

£50m cable car over London (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUOZikDH5ao#ws)

Indeed - lets locate 2 difficult to get to places by building a cable car  Banghead Banghead Banghead

Cross are we?
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 16, 2012, 05:31:32 PM
Would I be being overly cynical if I suspected that Seb has a friend who owns a cable car making company?  rubschin:

http://www.tfl.gov.uk/corporate/projectsandschemes/15959.aspx (http://www.tfl.gov.uk/corporate/projectsandschemes/15959.aspx)[/url]

The EMIRATES AIR LINE  ::)
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 16, 2012, 05:34:42 PM
Would I be being overly cynical if I suspected that Seb has a friend who owns a cable car making company?  rubschin:

http://www.tfl.gov.uk/corporate/projectsandschemes/15959.aspx (http://www.tfl.gov.uk/corporate/projectsandschemes/15959.aspx)[/url]

The EMIRATES AIR LINE  ::)

Fixed for you.  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Uncle Mort on May 16, 2012, 06:08:38 PM
Back to the OP, wtf is the point of this?  Connecting 2 Olympic venues, completion some time this summer, prolly after the Olympics   noooo:

£50m cable car over London (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUOZikDH5ao#ws)

Indeed - lets locate 2 difficult to get to places by building a cable car  Banghead Banghead Banghead

The service, due to start next year, directly links ExCeL, Europe’s biggest conference venue, to the O2, Europe’s biggest entertainment complex.

London Underground map showing the new east London river crossing as a ‘step free’ interchange between the DLR and Jubilee line.


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs13.postimage.org%2Fiaqruwk2b%2F3364487424.jpg&hash=c017e1552b8ae31bc65a9dc26e6b4b06d87f23c5) (http://postimage.org/image/iaqruwk2b/)

 rubschin:
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 16, 2012, 07:27:23 PM
The Emirates Greenwich Peninsula  noooo: noooo: noooo:

Are different parts of London now to be sponsored and rebranded ?  noooo:

If that was the case shouldn't it be the EDF Southbank ( courtesy of London Eye)  noooo:
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Nick on May 16, 2012, 07:39:45 PM
Streatham: sponsored by Lidl noooo:
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 16, 2012, 07:50:43 PM
Lidl - that's bloomin posh ...Poundland  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Nick on May 16, 2012, 07:52:17 PM
 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 16, 2012, 08:25:01 PM
Camberwell, sponsored by Robinsons jam.
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Nick on May 16, 2012, 08:26:37 PM
 Spank2:
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Pirate on May 16, 2012, 08:28:21 PM
(https://encrypted-tbn1.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSJNIA9ajH0MVdwKI_R2_HdP0a42q0SYJR28ZWY6yfas0zOxJveXQ)
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Darwins Selection on May 16, 2012, 08:33:43 PM
Spank2:

What?

I said Robinson's not Robertson's.

That would have been quite improper.  angel1
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Pastis on May 16, 2012, 09:16:54 PM
Camberwell, sponsored by Robinsons jam.

You need updating DS   ;)

Camberwell, sponsored by GanjaMan

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frlv.zcache.com%2Fganjaman_tshirt-p235978630062164609b7adk_400.jpg&hash=c3a881bb73988e6bd3ae69aff24421402d28ba34)
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Snoopy on May 17, 2012, 06:55:06 AM
 rubschin: Trying to remember the last time I used public transport.
The Local County Council issued me, unbidden, a free bus pass when I was registered as "Disabled". That was 11 years ago. I have used it once. Public transport is not, as I recall, a pleasant experience.
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Just One More on May 17, 2012, 07:10:40 AM
Probably 1988-ish for me
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Barman on May 17, 2012, 03:38:34 PM
rubschin: Trying to remember the last time I used public transport.
The Local County Council issued me, unbidden, a free bus pass when I was registered as "Disabled". That was 11 years ago. I have used it once. Public transport is not, as I recall, a pleasant experience.

I hadn't for years - until I went to Istanbul last week!  inane:

They have a staggeringly cheap, clean and efficient system!  Thumbs:

As far as I can see it is about €1 per journey - any distance and the trams arrive every few minutes....
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Pastis on May 17, 2012, 03:48:43 PM
 whistle:

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.backboris2012.com%2Fsystem%2Fstorage%2F60%2F9e%2F0%2F147%2Ffreedompassguaranteefeb11.jpg&hash=acff4a837442da328f0263f96309f68f46c4957d)

 angel1     I'm wondering if I can use it on the Emirates Air Line  rubschin:
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 17, 2012, 03:51:49 PM
 cussing:
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Pastis on May 17, 2012, 03:56:37 PM
cussing:

 happy100    I've paid quite enough over the years  cry:
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Snoopy on May 18, 2012, 06:59:47 AM
Make yer mind up Miss D ~ which would you prefer? Free public transport or youth.  whistle:
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 18, 2012, 07:17:46 AM
I am a wumman ....I never have to make me mind up  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Snoopy on May 18, 2012, 07:18:41 AM
I'll take that as a "maybe" then.  ::)
Title: Re: Public transport really is a joke
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 18, 2012, 07:19:17 AM
For the moment  ;)