The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: GOD on May 14, 2012, 10:29:11 AM

Title: The all new confess it to me thread
Post by: GOD on May 14, 2012, 10:29:11 AM
I know that you are all miserable sinners (naming no names Miss D). Feel free to purge your murky consciences here and I shall absolve you, or not in some cases.
Title: Re: The all new confess it to me thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 14, 2012, 10:30:56 AM
Dear God, please forgive me. I just can't stop using men as sex toys  angel1
Title: Re: The all new confess it to me thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 14, 2012, 10:32:06 AM
...and I ate the last Rolo  redface:
Title: Re: The all new confess it to me thread
Post by: Nick on May 14, 2012, 10:34:50 AM
Sex is fine but cannibalism is not. Call Rolo's mother and apologise.
Title: Re: The all new confess it to me thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 14, 2012, 10:40:07 AM
Can I just check , do I have to use the 7 Deadly Sins or the 10 Commandments as my referencing tool ?
Title: Re: The all new confess it to me thread
Post by: GOD on May 14, 2012, 10:43:02 AM
You are well acquainted with the seven deadlies  ::)  I suggest they seem to be more of a target for you. The 10 Cs have their limitations nowadays since you are not a desert dwelling nomadic tribe. Cut down on the pork though  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The all new confess it to me thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 14, 2012, 10:46:32 AM
In Cider ?
Title: Re: The all new confess it to me thread
Post by: GOD on May 14, 2012, 10:49:25 AM
You have sustained the world vodka industry admirably. Do not harm the major industry of Somerset and Normandy.
Title: Re: The all new confess it to me thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 14, 2012, 10:54:33 AM
Don't forget I must have earnt loads of brownie points keeping the employment figures buoyant in Bournville ?

As a public transport passenger I am saving the world from holes in things.

As a non smoker I am killing no one , not even myself.

As someone that has never claimed a benefit in their life I am giving more than taking .

When is my canonisation ?
Title: Re: The all new confess it to me thread
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on May 14, 2012, 10:59:06 AM
Is there anything Old Nick needs to confess?
Title: Re: The all new confess it to me thread
Post by: GOD on May 14, 2012, 11:06:46 AM
Don't forget I must have earnt loads of brownie points keeping the employment figures buoyant in Bournville ?

As a public transport passenger I am saving the world from holes in things.

As a non smoker I am killing no one , not even myself.

As someone that has never claimed a benefit in their life I am giving more than taking .

When is my canonisation ?

It is pleasing to mine eye that you are gazing upon your smutty soul  :thumbsup:

The world does not seem saving form "holes" as you so eloquently put it. I am proud of my holes and so should you be, my child.have information to hand from a certain Scottish window cleaner that you may wish to reflect upon.

I

Title: Re: The all new confess it to me thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 14, 2012, 11:16:16 AM
I'm glad to hear that he has finally found his voice again  lol:
Title: Re: The all new confess it to me thread
Post by: Barman on May 14, 2012, 11:18:05 AM
I have nothing to confess.....  angel1
Title: Re: The all new confess it to me thread
Post by: GOD on May 14, 2012, 11:20:17 AM
I know every ghastly and sordid secret of your miserable soul. Cough it up man  Popcorn:
Title: Re: The all new confess it to me thread
Post by: Uncle Mort on May 14, 2012, 12:00:21 PM
 angel1
Title: Re: The all new confess it to me thread
Post by: Pirate on May 14, 2012, 12:04:26 PM
 angel1 angel1 angel1
Title: Re: The all new confess it to me thread
Post by: GOD on May 14, 2012, 12:05:55 PM
You are forgetting that party in 1975 sir  nonono:
Title: Re: The all new confess it to me thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 14, 2012, 12:54:28 PM
Aren't you supposed to be striking them down with bolts of thudner and stuff now ?  noooo:
Title: Re: The all new confess it to me thread
Post by: GOD on May 14, 2012, 01:09:38 PM
If anyone deserves thudner it is YOU. I watch what you talk about on your girls' nights out  noooo:



Title: Re: The all new confess it to me thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 14, 2012, 01:11:52 PM
I have already confessed to not being an angel ....unlike these bunch of Murdoch's  noooo:
Title: Re: The all new confess it to me thread
Post by: GOD on May 14, 2012, 01:15:55 PM
I gather that in Hell your bikini pics are on sets of card that get swopped and traded. I know not why  noooo:

Title: Re: The all new confess it to me thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 14, 2012, 01:18:08 PM
Aaaaaah that will be everyone playing Poke -her-man  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The all new confess it to me thread
Post by: Nick on May 14, 2012, 01:41:53 PM

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs15.postimage.org%2F4vgzg89t3%2Fdownload.jpg&hash=41686e9765e8ee1188668c7fb511990a980989ff) (http://postimage.org/)
Title: Re: The all new confess it to me thread
Post by: The Moan Ranger on May 14, 2012, 01:52:55 PM
I confess to random acts of mischief in the civil aviation industry...
Title: Re: The all new confess it to me thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 14, 2012, 02:07:35 PM
Scratching the surface  whistle:
Title: Re: The all new confess it to me thread
Post by: Barman on May 14, 2012, 02:48:41 PM
Aaaaaah that will be everyone playing Poke -her-man  :thumbsup:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: The all new confess it to me thread
Post by: Pirate on May 14, 2012, 03:13:50 PM
I gather that in Hell your bikini pics are on sets of card that get swopped and traded. I know not why  noooo:



 shutup: shutup:
Title: Re: The all new confess it to me thread
Post by: Pirate on May 14, 2012, 03:23:15 PM
A man died and was taken to his place of eternal torment by the devil.

As he passed sulphurous pits and shrieking sinners, he saw a man he recognized as a clown making love to Miss D.

"That's unfair!" he cried. "I have to roast for all eternity, and that clown gets to spend it with a beautiful woman."

"Shut up", barked the devil, jabbing the man with his pitchfork.

"Who are you to question that woman's punishment?"
Title: Re: The all new confess it to me thread
Post by: tel on May 14, 2012, 03:23:55 PM
I confess to random acts of mischief in the civil aviation industry...

And other forms of transport  lol:
Title: Re: The all new confess it to me thread
Post by: Miss Demeanour on May 14, 2012, 03:33:14 PM
A man died and was taken to his place of eternal torment by the devil.

As he passed sulphurous pits and shrieking sinners, he saw a man he recognized as a clown making love to Miss D.

"That's unfair!" he cried. "I have to roast for all eternity, and that clown gets to spend it with a beautiful woman."

"Shut up", barked the devil, jabbing the man with his pitchfork.

"Who are you to question that woman's punishment?"

 shocked003

 sad32: sad32: sad32:
Title: Re: The all new confess it to me thread
Post by: Nick on May 14, 2012, 03:39:01 PM

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs12.postimage.org%2F8g7kso4op%2Fdownload.jpg&hash=419ba09d3239927d7fb942c522748ab17ad6d4de) (http://postimage.org/)
Title: Re: The all new confess it to me thread
Post by: Pirate on May 14, 2012, 03:50:34 PM
 Shrugs: