The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => The Comedy Room => Topic started by: Richard on April 03, 2012, 10:41:08 AM

Title: Let me introduce myself
Post by: Richard on April 03, 2012, 10:41:08 AM
The name has stuck. All attempts at ridding myself of this revolting nickname have failed. I am therefore, Bangkok Dick. It is only to be expected that an idiot who has spent the best part of 11 years living in a squalid, filthy city such as Bangkok has earned himself such a name but in fairness, got off lightly. Let's face it, it could have been far worse. Such a long period in the Adults Playground leaves one with a cockeyed view of the world really. The brown skinned beauties with long black hair and sensible price tags have done little to return me to normality. Smiling Assassins all of them! The odd looks from women here in Paphos expecting me to fall apart suffering with revolting and incurable Siff have largely stopped now. "Eeeeh, there goes that filthy pervert again, Mavis told me he shagged 9 women in one go". Wrong you stupid fat old bag, it was 6 actually. Chaps still sidle up when the old lady has gone for a piss and ask me about naughty girls and what they get up to. I have to make a quick character appraisal before letting them in to sensitive secrets. For some, the reality would be too much.
So with this greeting, I hope to be a regular contributor to this forum
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: Barman on April 03, 2012, 10:44:01 AM
 lol: lol: lol:

Welcome to the forum!  Thumbs:
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: Nick on April 03, 2012, 10:44:58 AM
The name has stuck. All attempts at ridding myself of this revolting nickname have failed. I am therefore, Bangkok Dick. It is only to be expected that an idiot who has spent the best part of 11 years living in a squalid, filthy city such as Bangkok has earned himself such a name but in fairness, got off lightly. Let's face it, it could have been far worse. Such a long period in the Adults Playground leaves one with a cockeyed view of the world really. The brown skinned beauties with long black hair and sensible price tags have done little to return me to normality. Smiling Assassins all of them! The odd looks from women here in Paphos expecting me to fall apart suffering with revolting and incurable Siff have largely stopped now. "Eeeeh, there goes that filthy pervert again, Mavis told me he shagged 9 women in one go". Wrong you stupid fat old bag, it was 6 actually. Chaps still sidle up when the old lady has gone for a piss and ask me about naughty girls and what they get up to. I have to make a quick character appraisal before letting them in to sensitive secrets. For some, the reality would be too much.
So with this greeting, I hope to be a regular contributor to this forum
Mr Thread?
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: apc2010 on April 03, 2012, 10:45:48 AM
I will have no secrets now............. noooo:
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: Misty on April 03, 2012, 10:46:36 AM
B.Dick!!!!! you made it. Me, apc & baldy meeting for a beer or two later. You in?
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: Barman on April 03, 2012, 10:47:47 AM
I will have no secrets now............. noooo:

 point:

Popcorn:
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: Misty on April 03, 2012, 10:48:40 AM
 scared:
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: Grumpmeister on April 03, 2012, 11:08:19 AM
scared:

How long do you think before a Miss T's Embarrassing Secrets thread appears on here....  whistle:
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: Miss Demeanour on April 03, 2012, 11:14:19 AM
Some new Dick on the board eh  eyes:


Welcome  lol:
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: apc2010 on April 03, 2012, 11:17:52 AM
Some new Dick on the board eh  eyes:


Welcome  lol:

Thought you would have more fun with the first part of his name......... whistle:
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: Miss Demeanour on April 03, 2012, 11:18:57 AM
I'm pacing myself  lol:
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: Misty on April 03, 2012, 11:21:58 AM
scared:

How long do you think before a Miss T's Embarrassing Secrets thread appears on here....  whistle:


 scared2: scared2: It's all lies I tell you! LIES!!!
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: Grumpmeister on April 03, 2012, 11:27:42 AM
All lies? BM told me that you were usually the voice of sanity.  whistle:
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: Miss Demeanour on April 03, 2012, 11:31:42 AM
Errr  .......I think you'll find that is me  angel1
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: Barman on April 03, 2012, 11:33:26 AM
Errr  .......I think you'll find that is me  angel1

 point:
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: Miss Demeanour on April 03, 2012, 11:34:28 AM
Senile ol twonk  noooo:
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: Barman on April 03, 2012, 11:37:19 AM
 evil:
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: Grumpmeister on April 03, 2012, 11:49:00 AM
Errr  .......I think you'll find that is me  angel1

This explains a lot methinks....  rubschin:
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: Darwins Selection on April 03, 2012, 01:05:28 PM
Welcome Mr Dick.

I look forward to hearing your tales of the mysterious Orient while supping the drink that tradition dictates you buy for me.

BM, a pint of my usual on the Bangkok tab if you will.  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: Barman on April 03, 2012, 01:42:29 PM
Welcome Mr Dick.

I look forward to hearing your tales of the mysterious Orient while supping the drink that tradition dictates you buy for me.

BM, a pint of my usual on the Bangkok tab if you will.  :thumbsup:

Pint of Talisker coming up squire!  Thumbs:
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: Darwins Selection on April 03, 2012, 01:47:19 PM
Welcome Mr Dick.

I look forward to hearing your tales of the mysterious Orient while supping the drink that tradition dictates you buy for me.

BM, a pint of my usual on the Bangkok tab if you will.  :thumbsup:

Pint of Talisker coming up squire!  Thumbs:
:thumbsup:
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: Grumpmeister on April 03, 2012, 02:24:44 PM
Welcome Mr Dick.

I look forward to hearing your tales of the mysterious Orient while supping the drink that tradition dictates you buy for me.

BM, a pint of my usual on the Bangkok tab if you will.  :thumbsup:

Pint of Talisker coming up squire!  Thumbs:
:thumbsup:

Oh God not again, just no turnip skeet shooting this time.  eeek:
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: Uncle Mort on April 03, 2012, 04:01:17 PM
Welcome BD.  :thumbsup:

So... what Cypriot secrets can you divulge  rubschin:
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: Just One More on April 03, 2012, 05:00:19 PM
Welcome aboard Dick. And thanks for the first class earworm  cloud9:  Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name..
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: Tipsy Gipsy on April 03, 2012, 05:23:15 PM
Hello,     Not sure I understood what you said but if you're buying a VAT would be nice.   angel1
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: Nick on April 03, 2012, 06:12:55 PM
A vat of anything in nursey's case  ::)
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: Barman on April 03, 2012, 06:16:23 PM
Welcome BD.  :thumbsup:

So... what Cypriot secrets can you divulge  rubschin:

Nothing on me....  angel1
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: Tipsy Gipsy on April 03, 2012, 06:20:13 PM
A vat of anything in nursey's case  ::)

Blackadder Back & Forth (1999) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cc1b7GxsdO0#)
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: Nick on April 03, 2012, 06:22:21 PM

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs7.postimage.org%2Fr1ciz71s7%2FTIPSY.jpg&hash=e3864ab37b54d18a4de13e60e98a1488ca57c2de) (http://postimage.org/image/r1ciz71s7/)
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: Tipsy Gipsy on April 03, 2012, 06:29:21 PM
 lol:                     






 noooo:
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: Nick on April 03, 2012, 06:30:42 PM
My hand still needs attention  sad24:
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: apc2010 on April 03, 2012, 07:00:25 PM
I don't think Bangkok Baldy and I , are allowed to drink together again............. whistle:
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: Barman on April 03, 2012, 07:02:05 PM
I don't think Bangkok Baldy and I , are allowed to drink together again............. whistle:

 noooo:
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: apc2010 on April 03, 2012, 07:04:19 PM
I don't think Bangkok Baldy and I , are allowed to drink together again............. whistle:

 noooo:

But we are allowed out .......... whistle:
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: Barman on April 03, 2012, 07:08:00 PM
I don't think Bangkok Baldy and I , are allowed to drink together again............. whistle:

 noooo:

But we are allowed out .......... whistle:

Not to Pissouri tho...  whistle:
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: apc2010 on April 03, 2012, 07:10:21 PM
I don't think Bangkok Baldy and I , are allowed to drink together again............. whistle:

 noooo:

But we are allowed out .......... whistle:

Not to Pissouri tho...  whistle:


An invite ........... rubschin:
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: Barman on April 03, 2012, 07:15:07 PM
I don't think Bangkok Baldy and I , are allowed to drink together again............. whistle:

 noooo:

But we are allowed out .......... whistle:

Not to Pissouri tho...  whistle:


An invite ........... rubschin:

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  scared2:
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: apc2010 on April 03, 2012, 07:16:32 PM
I don't think Bangkok Baldy and I , are allowed to drink together again............. whistle:

 noooo:

But we are allowed out .......... whistle:

Not to Pissouri tho...  whistle:


An invite ........... rubschin:

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  scared2:

We will be good ........... :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: Nick on April 03, 2012, 07:17:35 PM
Party  Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001:

I will bring my best sausage
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: apc2010 on April 03, 2012, 07:19:57 PM
Party  Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001:

I will bring my best sausage

 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: Barman on April 03, 2012, 07:21:00 PM
I don't think Bangkok Baldy and I , are allowed to drink together again............. whistle:

 noooo:

But we are allowed out .......... whistle:

Not to Pissouri tho...  whistle:


An invite ........... rubschin:

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  scared2:

We will be good ........... :thumbsup:

Okay then....  ::)
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: apc2010 on April 03, 2012, 07:23:11 PM
I don't think Bangkok Baldy and I , are allowed to drink together again............. whistle:

 noooo:

But we are allowed out .......... whistle:

Not to Pissouri tho...  whistle:


An invite ........... rubschin:

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  scared2:

We will be good ........... :thumbsup:

Okay then....  ::)

 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: Barman on April 03, 2012, 07:24:19 PM
I don't think Bangkok Baldy and I , are allowed to drink together again............. whistle:

 noooo:

But we are allowed out .......... whistle:

Not to Pissouri tho...  whistle:


An invite ........... rubschin:

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  scared2:

We will be good ........... :thumbsup:

Okay then....  ::)

 :thumbsup:

When...?  ::)
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: apc2010 on April 03, 2012, 07:25:30 PM
I don't think Bangkok Baldy and I , are allowed to drink together again............. whistle:

 noooo:

But we are allowed out .......... whistle:

Not to Pissouri tho...  whistle:


An invite ........... rubschin:

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  scared2:

We will be good ........... :thumbsup:

Okay then....  ::)

 :thumbsup:

When...?  ::)

I will call LL and ask.......... whistle:
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: Barman on April 03, 2012, 07:27:12 PM
I don't think Bangkok Baldy and I , are allowed to drink together again............. whistle:

 noooo:

But we are allowed out .......... whistle:

Not to Pissouri tho...  whistle:


An invite ........... rubschin:

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  scared2:

We will be good ........... :thumbsup:

Okay then....  ::)

 :thumbsup:

When...?  ::)

I will call LL and ask.......... whistle:

She is not speaking to you...  noooo:
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: apc2010 on April 03, 2012, 07:29:49 PM
I don't think Bangkok Baldy and I , are allowed to drink together again............. whistle:

 noooo:

But we are allowed out .......... whistle:

Not to Pissouri tho...  whistle:


An invite ........... rubschin:

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  scared2:

We will be good ........... :thumbsup:

Okay then....  ::)

 :thumbsup:

When...?  ::)

I will call LL and ask.......... whistle:

She is not speaking to you...  noooo:

WOT........... eeek:
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: Barman on April 03, 2012, 07:31:01 PM
I don't think Bangkok Baldy and I , are allowed to drink together again............. whistle:

 noooo:

But we are allowed out .......... whistle:

Not to Pissouri tho...  whistle:


An invite ........... rubschin:

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  scared2:

We will be good ........... :thumbsup:

Okay then....  ::)

 :thumbsup:

When...?  ::)

I will call LL and ask.......... whistle:

She is not speaking to you...  noooo:

WOT........... eeek:

I can't imagine why....  whistle:
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: Baldy on April 03, 2012, 09:02:50 PM
Bangers for President....He gets my vote.  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: Grumpmeister on April 05, 2012, 11:14:46 AM
I don't think Bangkok Baldy and I , are allowed to drink together again............. whistle:

 noooo:

But we are allowed out .......... whistle:

Not to Pissouri tho...  whistle:


An invite ........... rubschin:

And he has even been making loads of home brew for you to guzzle  whistle:
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: apc2010 on April 05, 2012, 11:18:31 AM
I don't think Bangkok Baldy and I , are allowed to drink together again............. whistle:

 noooo:

But we are allowed out .......... whistle:

Not to Pissouri tho...  whistle:


An invite ........... rubschin:

And he has even been making loads of home brew for you to guzzle  whistle:

 :thumbsup:..........   A party next week ......... cloud9:
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: Misty on April 05, 2012, 12:35:45 PM
 Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001:

I shall bring the melons!!!!  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: Barman on April 05, 2012, 01:24:19 PM
I don't think Bangkok Baldy and I , are allowed to drink together again............. whistle:

 noooo:

But we are allowed out .......... whistle:

Not to Pissouri tho...  whistle:


An invite ........... rubschin:

And he has even been making loads of home brew for you to guzzle  whistle:

 :thumbsup:..........   A party next week ......... cloud9:

I've drunk most of it....  redface:
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: Nick on April 05, 2012, 01:28:17 PM
Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001:

I shall bring the melons!!!!  :thumbsup:

Are they detachable?  eeek:
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: Barman on April 05, 2012, 02:47:57 PM
Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001:

I shall bring the melons!!!!  :thumbsup:

Are they detachable?  eeek:

(  o  Y  o  )
Title: Re: Let me introduce myself
Post by: Misty on April 06, 2012, 12:09:36 PM
 ;D