The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Nick on March 18, 2012, 03:01:51 PM

Title: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Nick on March 18, 2012, 03:01:51 PM
So it is that time of the year again  ::)

Three pigeons, one female and two males are prancingm around all over my garden using it as some sort of display arena  ::)

On and on they go. Odd thing is, they all keep crapping mid dance. Not very appealing, I would have thought  rubschin:
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 18, 2012, 04:35:36 PM
Your sheltered life is showing again.  noooo:
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Nick on March 18, 2012, 04:47:31 PM
I never saw public pooing as a courtship  ritual  noooo:
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Snoopy on March 18, 2012, 04:48:20 PM
So it is that time of the year again  ::)

Three pigeons, one female and two males are prancingm around all over my garden using it as some sort of display arena  ::)

On and on they go. Odd thing is, they all keep crapping mid dance. Not very appealing, I would have thought  rubschin:

Ever watched a bloke or gerly "on the pull?". From behind the pub bar we used to witness similar behaviour most Friday and Saturday nights........ That too involved a lot of aggressive posturing by the males, preening and giggling by the females and frequent visits to the toilets by both sides. Not much difference between watching pigeons trying to get their wing over or overly hormonal teenagers looking to get a leg over actually.
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Barman on March 18, 2012, 04:49:54 PM
24g of #8 should sort them out!  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Just One More on March 18, 2012, 04:59:18 PM
Those pigeons should feign having a broken foot or a septic toe, you know, go for the sympathy vote, bound to work like  whistle:
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Nick on March 18, 2012, 05:00:27 PM
So it is that time of the year again  ::)

Three pigeons, one female and two males are prancingm around all over my garden using it as some sort of display arena  ::)

On and on they go. Odd thing is, they all keep crapping mid dance. Not very appealing, I would have thought  rubschin:

Ever watched a bloke or gerly "on the pull?". From behind the pub bar we used to witness similar behaviour most Friday and Saturday nights........ That too involved a lot of aggressive posturing by the males, preening and giggling by the females and frequent visits to the toilets by both sides. Not much difference between watching pigeons trying to get their wing over or overly hormonal teenagers looking to get a leg over actually.

Yes, but the. bog visits were to discuss (ask Miss D) . This lot are pooing in front of each other  sick2:
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Nick on March 18, 2012, 05:02:05 PM
Those pigeons should feign having a broken foot or a septic toe, you know, go for the sympathy vote, bound to work like  whistle:

Or a poorly finger?  sad24:
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 18, 2012, 05:23:31 PM

Yes, but the. bog visits were to discuss (ask Miss D) . This lot are pooing in front of each other  sick2:

Discuss what ?
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Nick on March 18, 2012, 05:24:14 PM
 ::)
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Pastis on March 18, 2012, 05:35:41 PM
Did you buy that air rifle then?   rubschin:
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Pirate on March 18, 2012, 05:36:23 PM

Yes, but the. bog visits were to discuss (ask Miss D) . This lot are pooing in front of each other  sick2:

Discuss what ?

Who was going to get lucky...
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Nick on March 18, 2012, 05:54:55 PM
Pirarte now jumps about, flaps his arms and poos  noooo:
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 18, 2012, 06:04:29 PM
24g of #8 should sort them out!  :thumbsup:
:thumbsup:
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Pirate on March 18, 2012, 07:23:33 PM
 whistle:

Mating A Northerner with a Filipino Maid - Harry & Paul (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ObVsH6yIQdo#ws)
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on March 21, 2012, 04:36:28 AM
Umm  pigeon breasts yumster. cloud9: Of course they need to be cooked.  I have a huge dislike for pigeons, as Nick said their mating rituals are daft. Horrible horrible things.  evil:

Just as daft but rather lovely is the lone male black bird (feathered variety as already mentioned elsewhere) that is giving his all.  He will shortly be joined by others but as yet he is the only one.
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 21, 2012, 07:08:44 AM
Pigeons are vile. Noisy, obstructive, shitting, swooping, pecking, shuffling, perching, squatting, cooing, invasive little bastards  evil:
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: The Moan Ranger on March 21, 2012, 07:28:20 AM
Pigeons are vile. Noisy, obstructive, shitting, swooping, pecking, shuffling, perching, squatting, cooing, invasive little bastards  evil:

Nor a fan then?
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 21, 2012, 07:34:14 AM
I was being quite restrained  evil:

There are loads round here and you see people every day chucking them bread and left overs, contrary to the signs that say please don't feed the lazy little fuckers  evil:.

The viscious gangs then just strut around feeding their greedy little barrel chests some more .

I have thought of poisoning some bread and then feeding them along with the others - if caught on CCTV you will have to prove it's my crumbs that did the damage  whistle:

The thought of going out the next day and seeing the bastards claws up towards the sky fills me with great satisfaction - ok it may emotionally damage a few kids but it's about the greater good  whistle:
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Snoopy on March 21, 2012, 07:37:09 AM
Nowt wrong with Wood Pigeons (Very tasty in fact) ..... It's the feral b@st@rds in city centres that I dislike ..... but not as much as I dislike the fecking hoooooge Herring Gulls that attack people in this part of the werld.
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on March 21, 2012, 07:43:39 AM
I can think of a few people that I would like to see attacked by herring gulls.  Snoops how about you and I start up a herring gull training centre?  There could be money and a great deal of satisfaction in this. eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Barman on March 21, 2012, 07:55:34 AM
Pigeons are vile. Noisy, obstructive, shitting, swooping, pecking, shuffling, perching, squatting, cooing, invasive little bastards  evil:

+1  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Snoopy on March 21, 2012, 08:02:43 AM
I can think of a few people that I would like to see attacked by herring gulls.  Snoops how about you and I start up a herring gull training centre?  There could be money and a great deal of satisfaction in this. eveilgrin:

Munny you say  rubschin:
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Barman on March 21, 2012, 08:14:55 AM
I can think of a few people that I would like to see attacked by herring gulls.  Snoops how about you and I start up a herring gull training centre?  There could be money and a great deal of satisfaction in this. eveilgrin:

Munny you say  rubschin:

We could train gulls and other birds as assassins - ducks, etc.  :thumbsup:

The film would be called The Eider Sanction! happy001

 redface:
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 21, 2012, 08:19:45 AM
MatingTrix ...1, 2 and 3  whistle:
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Barman on March 21, 2012, 08:33:39 AM
Kill Bill! happy002
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 21, 2012, 08:47:54 AM
 lol:

Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: The Moan Ranger on March 21, 2012, 08:56:24 AM
Kill Bill! happy002

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 21, 2012, 09:01:38 AM
Four Waders and a Funeral.
The Tern of the Jedi
The Amityville Heron
Carrion Camping

 redface:
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: apc2010 on March 21, 2012, 09:04:59 AM
Four Waders and a Funeral.
The Tern of the Jedi
The Amityville Heron
Carrion Camping

 redface:

 drumroll:
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Barman on March 21, 2012, 09:38:45 AM
Four Waders and a Funeral.
The Tern of the Jedi
The Amityville Heron
Carrion Camping

 redface:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Barman on March 21, 2012, 09:48:59 AM
Mary Puffins
True Grit
The King's Screech
The Redshank Redemption
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 21, 2012, 09:53:48 AM
You had to phone a friend didn't you ?  whistle:
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Barman on March 21, 2012, 09:58:07 AM
You had to phone a friend didn't you ?  whistle:

Beer is my only friend...  sad32:
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 21, 2012, 10:01:04 AM
Anyways I thought it was about birds that kill ....

Black Hawk Down
Black Swan ( your favourite like  inane: )
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Barman on March 21, 2012, 10:03:52 AM
Downfall... enough of a killer for ya...?  ::)

And yes, Black Swan = ubershite....  noooo:
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 21, 2012, 10:08:00 AM
Indeed ......should be on worst films list even !

Anyways .....back to the lady/bird killers- Day of the Jackdaw
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 21, 2012, 10:16:14 AM
Mary Puffins
True Grit
The King's Screech
The Redshank Redemption
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Barman on March 21, 2012, 10:16:25 AM
Flags of our Feathers
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Barman on March 21, 2012, 10:23:28 AM
Close Encounters of the Bird Kind
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 21, 2012, 10:25:49 AM
Butch Cassowary and the Sundance Kid
The Ipcress Flies
The World is not a Chough
Dove Actually
The Kingfisher King
Woodcock
The Lark of Zorro

 redface: I must stop now. . .
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Barman on March 21, 2012, 10:32:46 AM
Butch Cassowary and the Sundance Kid
The Ipcress Flies
The World is not a Chough
Dove Actually
The Kingfisher King
Woodcock
The Lark of Zorro

 redface: I must stop now. . .

 lol: lol: lol:

I think we can draw a line under this one Darwin....  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Pastis on March 21, 2012, 10:54:41 AM
Oh noes, 

The Rook, The Thief, His Wife and her Plover
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 21, 2012, 11:06:49 AM
Oh noes, 

The Rook, The Thief, His Wife and her Plover

 worthy:

The Goose, the Bat and the Osprey.
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Grumpmeister on March 21, 2012, 12:23:16 PM
Can't believe nobody has come up with this one yet:

Parrots of the Caribbean 1,2,3,4  whistle:
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Barman on March 21, 2012, 12:36:20 PM
Can't believe nobody has come up with this one yet:

Parrots of the Caribbean 1,2,3,4  whistle:

We rejected it....  whistle:
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Nick on March 21, 2012, 12:37:30 PM
What is this pile of cock?
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 21, 2012, 12:45:23 PM
Cockfosters surely   :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Barman on March 21, 2012, 12:51:12 PM
First do no hen
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Barman on March 21, 2012, 12:53:03 PM
Crouching tiger hidden duck
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on March 21, 2012, 01:31:59 PM
Gullivers Travels
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Nick on March 21, 2012, 01:36:31 PM
 whacky115
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons) on March 21, 2012, 01:46:00 PM
The Goodfeather
Rosemary's Booby
Murder My Tweet
Kind Hearts And Cormorants
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Barman on March 21, 2012, 02:00:17 PM
The Goodfeather
Rosemary's Booby
Murder My Tweet
Kind Hearts And Cormorants

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: The Moan Ranger on March 21, 2012, 02:06:16 PM
Sparrowhawk Down

Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Grumpmeister on March 21, 2012, 02:08:08 PM
Duck Soup
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Nick on March 21, 2012, 02:08:22 PM
Robin Hood and his Merry Hen
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: apc2010 on March 21, 2012, 02:14:52 PM
Can't believe nobody has come up with this one yet:

Parrots of the Caribbean 1,2,3,4  whistle:

We rejected it....  whistle:

Why it has a sparrow in it ......... whistle:
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Grumpmeister on March 21, 2012, 02:17:45 PM
Because BM is an bird brain  whistle:
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: apc2010 on March 21, 2012, 02:32:05 PM
Because BM is an bird brain  whistle:

There is a pecker joke there somewhere ........ rubschin:
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Barman on March 21, 2012, 02:58:21 PM
The French Lieutenant's Woodpecker 
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Nick on March 21, 2012, 03:00:17 PM
The Battle of the Budgie
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Pastis on March 21, 2012, 03:23:13 PM
Where Eagles Dare  ...   oh, whoops   redface:

Could change it for Snoops  "Where Beagles Dare"   razz:
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Barman on March 21, 2012, 03:25:35 PM
Where Eagles Dare  ...   oh, whoops   redface:

Could change it for Snoops  "Where Beagles Dare"   razz:

You broke it...  ::)
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Pastis on March 21, 2012, 03:34:53 PM
 ::)  Oh, alright then ...

Those Magnificent Mallards in their Flying Magpies   ::)
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: The Moan Ranger on March 21, 2012, 03:43:37 PM
Star Macaws.
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Barman on March 21, 2012, 04:08:44 PM
Who framed Roger raven
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 21, 2012, 04:10:08 PM
The Eagle has landed  lol:
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: The Moan Ranger on March 21, 2012, 04:13:16 PM
Rooky.
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Barman on March 21, 2012, 04:14:54 PM
Whose lyre is it anyway
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Pastis on March 21, 2012, 04:35:14 PM
Tinker, Tailor, Shag, Snipe       eeek:
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Pirate on March 21, 2012, 07:57:07 PM
For Whom The Budgie Tolls
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 21, 2012, 09:38:12 PM
Victoria and Albatross
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Barman on March 21, 2012, 09:39:48 PM
Victoria and Albatross

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Tedious mating rituals
Post by: Just One More on March 25, 2012, 02:43:44 PM
Pigeons are vile. Noisy, obstructive, shitting, swooping, pecking, shuffling, perching, squatting, cooing, invasive little bastards  evil:

Has it turned up yet Miss D  rubschin:


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs18.postimage.org%2F5e5cpya2t%2Flost_pigeon.jpg&hash=09a7b38213144dd57abbb525579d1b99982c0808) (http://postimage.org/image/5e5cpya2t/)