The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Nick on January 12, 2012, 12:47:27 PM

Title: Methods of dealing with cold callers
Post by: Nick on January 12, 2012, 12:47:27 PM
I have an new one  :thumbsup:

Ring ring
Me: Hello
Mumbai: Is that Mr Nick?
Me:Who?
Mumbai: Am I speaking to Mr Nick?
Me: No one of that name here. YOu must have the wrong number.
Mumbai: This is 01159 xxxxxx?
Me: Yes
Mumbai: Then you are Mr Nick!
Me: No
Mumbai hangs up in confusion
 eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Methods of dealing with cold callers
Post by: Darwins Selection on January 12, 2012, 01:00:29 PM
Mumbai: We are wondering when it would be convenient to deliver the 1000 cases of Pataks 1000g sauce you have ordered from Tesco Direct and do you have a forklift?
Title: Re: Methods of dealing with cold callers
Post by: Nick on January 12, 2012, 01:01:09 PM
 evil:
Title: Re: Methods of dealing with cold callers
Post by: Barman on January 12, 2012, 01:19:57 PM
evil:

 point:
Title: Re: Methods of dealing with cold callers
Post by: bodiam on January 12, 2012, 03:40:31 PM
easiest way to deal with cold callers: TELL THEM TO FECK OFF !!! thatsit: Finger: Finger:
Title: Re: Methods of dealing with cold callers
Post by: Uncle Mort on January 12, 2012, 05:18:28 PM
No fun in that ~ string them along until they tell you to feck off.  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Methods of dealing with cold callers
Post by: Barman on January 12, 2012, 05:29:44 PM
No fun in that ~ string them along until they tell you to feck off.  :thumbsup:

 happ096
Title: Re: Methods of dealing with cold callers
Post by: Darwins Selection on January 12, 2012, 06:00:32 PM
No fun in that ~ string them along until they tell you to feck off.  :thumbsup:

. . . or hang up on you.

I enjoy that much more. ;)

-- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mumbai: Good morning sir, this is Darren, I wonder which credit card you are using.

DS: Hello Darren, how are you? Your accent sounds like you may be in Mumbai, I went to Mumbai once with the Mem Sahib, oops I don't expect it is right to use terms like that nowadays, but we had a lovely time there, so warm and such friendly people and we so enjoyed visiting the pyramids, or was that in China, you know my memory isn't what it used to be, it comes to us all one day, I was only saying that to my neighbour on Friday, no, I tell a lie it was Thursday just after we came back from the golf club because of the rain, no, hang on it must have been Friday because that was when we had the heavy rain, I expect you are used to heavy rain out there what with the Monsoon and everything, it must be quite hard getting about on your bicycles and tuk-tuks. Sorry, I have forgotten what it was you asked me.

Mumbai: *click*.
Title: Re: Methods of dealing with cold callers
Post by: Nick on January 12, 2012, 06:08:13 PM
 :thumbsup:

ANd how is the fragrant Mrs DS #3?
Title: Re: Methods of dealing with cold callers
Post by: Darwins Selection on January 12, 2012, 06:26:48 PM
:thumbsup:

ANd how is the fragrant Mrs DS #3?

In rude health thank you kindly.  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Methods of dealing with cold callers
Post by: Nick on January 12, 2012, 06:30:18 PM
 happy100
Title: Re: Methods of dealing with cold callers
Post by: Barman on January 12, 2012, 06:30:48 PM
:thumbsup:

ANd how is the fragrant Mrs DS #3?

In rude health thank you kindly.  :thumbsup:

Never mind... happy100
Title: Re: Methods of dealing with cold callers
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on January 13, 2012, 12:01:03 AM
Mumbai: Hello, is that Mr Nick?

Nick: Oh, hello. Is this about God?

Mumbai: Pardon?

Nick: Is this about God!? You know, the All Powerful One!

Mumbai: No. It's about credit cards.

Nick: Oh? Is God doing credit cards now?

Mumbai: *click*
Title: Re: Methods of dealing with cold callers
Post by: Barman on January 13, 2012, 06:21:17 AM
Mumbai: Hello, is that Mr Nick?

Nick: Oh, hello. Is this about God?

Mumbai: Pardon?

Nick: Is this about God!? You know, the All Powerful One!

Mumbai: No. It's about credit cards.

Nick: Oh? Is God doing credit cards now?

Mumbai: *click*

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Methods of dealing with cold callers
Post by: Darwins Selection on January 13, 2012, 08:21:06 AM
Mumbai: Hello, is that Mr Nick?

Nick: Oh, hello. Is this about God?

Mumbai: Pardon?

Nick: Is this about God!? You know, the All Powerful One!

Mumbai: No. It's about credit cards.

Nick: Oh? Is God doing credit cards now?

Mumbai: *click*

 lol: lol: lol:

A telephone version of my favourite for dealing with clipboard 'researchers'.

Researcher: Good morning sir, have you got time to answer a few questions?

DS: Have you spoken with The Lord today?

Researcher: Thank you sir (scuttles away)
Title: Re: Methods of dealing with cold callers
Post by: Barman on January 13, 2012, 10:05:51 AM
Mumbai: Hello, is that Mr Nick?

Nick: Oh, hello. Is this about God?

Mumbai: Pardon?

Nick: Is this about God!? You know, the All Powerful One!

Mumbai: No. It's about credit cards.

Nick: Oh? Is God doing credit cards now?

Mumbai: *click*

 lol: lol: lol:

A telephone version of my favourite for dealing with clipboard 'researchers'.

Researcher: Good morning sir, have you got time to answer a few questions?

DS: Have you spoken with The Lord today?

Researcher: Thank you sir (scuttles away)

happy001

I'm gonna try that when I come back to the UK next... In February like....  whistle:
Title: Re: Methods of dealing with cold callers
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on January 13, 2012, 06:06:21 PM
OK. What's with all the boo icons that were in my post then? Baffled! cry:
Title: Re: Methods of dealing with cold callers
Post by: Barman on January 13, 2012, 06:11:35 PM
OK. What's with all the boo icons that were in my post then? Baffled! cry:

Ah... the emoticon is called Nick with a colon after it....  redface:
Title: Re: Methods of dealing with cold callers
Post by: Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits) on January 13, 2012, 06:16:07 PM
OK. What's with all the boo icons that were in my post then? Baffled! cry:

Ah... the emoticon is called Nick with a colon after it....  redface:


 ;D  ;D