The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => The Comedy Room => Topic started by: Miss Demeanour on August 06, 2007, 06:59:11 PM

Title: Cheesy gag (literally)
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 06, 2007, 06:59:11 PM

Q :Why does the NHS stop giving smear tests to senior citizens?

A: Have you ever tried to open a cheese toasty?   
Title: Re: Cheesy gag (literally)
Post by: Snoopy on August 06, 2007, 07:07:22 PM
Hello and welcome Miss D.
Hope you like it here.
Do tell us a little about yourself.

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.peanutscollectorclub.com%2Fjoecool.jpg&hash=d35aa12bfe146dca95f7ea879d082e99004008d6)
Title: Re: Cheesy gag (literally)
Post by: Nick on August 06, 2007, 07:16:15 PM

Q :Why does the NHS stop giving smear tests to senior citizens?

A: Have you ever tried to open a cheese toasty?   

Eek, she is here. Wenchy will team up with her and then where will we be, eh? In trouble.

WOnder if she still goes to Scotland?!

http://www.lyricstrax.com/george-formby/when-im-cleaning-windows.html (http://www.lyricstrax.com/george-formby/when-im-cleaning-windows.html)
Title: Re: Cheesy gag (literally)
Post by: Snoopy on August 06, 2007, 07:20:50 PM
Oy! I'm doing the chat up here ~ even put on me Joe Cool sweater.
Title: Re: Cheesy gag (literally)
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 06, 2007, 07:28:11 PM
Hi Snoopy -

thanks for the welcome.  As you can see I am known to a few here such as Nick (Hi Honey ).

I am a non opinionated female, who understands fully the quirkiness of men , has a vast appreciation and understanding of all things mechanical, computerised and things that make loud noises ( ohhh pleaseeeeeeee ).

As for Scotland - no Nick, I did not move and will not be moving. 
Title: Re: Cheesy gag (literally)
Post by: Snoopy on August 06, 2007, 07:30:19 PM
Hi Snoopy -

thanks for the welcome.  As you can see I am known to a few here such as Nick (Hi Honey ).

I am a non opinionated female, who understands fully the quirkiness of men , has a vast appreciation and understanding of all things mechanical, computerised and things that make loud noises ( ohhh pleaseeeeeeee ).

As for Scotland - no Nick, I did not move and will not be moving. 

You know me too but I changed my name to protect the innocent ~ not that it did me any good .... I still got barred.
Now how's about that lovely little avatar ~ bringing it with you?
Title: Re: Cheesy gag (literally)
Post by: Nick on August 06, 2007, 07:33:30 PM
Quote
I am a non opinionated female

Do not trust her. Ther is no such thing, but she feels she may be able to deceive us, but we are too cunning for her.






















 scared2:
Title: Re: Cheesy gag (literally)
Post by: Nick on August 06, 2007, 07:35:24 PM
Oy! I'm doing the chat up here ~ even put on me Joe Cool sweater.

It makes you look fat. Take it off
Title: Re: Cheesy gag (literally)
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 06, 2007, 07:40:20 PM

Can I not have a quick Who's Who guide to save me any embarrassment (pretty please) -

 I will be bringing my avatar with me as soon as I can get my computer to sort itself out - (seems to be selective in what it will allow me to do at the moment), otherwise might have to wait until I get to work tomorrow to resolve.   

How is everything ? Am I going to get a warning already for gossiping and chatting nonsense when I have only just  joined (yours living in fear as always - Miss D )
Title: Re: Cheesy gag (literally)
Post by: Snoopy on August 06, 2007, 07:41:49 PM
Oy! I'm doing the chat up here ~ even put on me Joe Cool sweater.

It makes you look fat. Take it off

Trouble is I am fat!
P*sses me off but no diet works if you cannot exercise (heart) and are forced to eat regular meals that include carbohydrates (diabetes). I wouldn't mind if I could have a drink or two but I can't (valium).
Is it worth living? I sometimes wonder. confused:
Title: Re: Cheesy gag (literally)
Post by: Snoopy on August 06, 2007, 07:43:45 PM

Can I not have a quick Who's Who guide to save me any embarrassment (pretty please) -

 I will be bringing my avatar with me as soon as I can get my computer to sort itself out - (seems to be selective in what it will allow me to do at the moment), otherwise might have to wait until I get to work tomorrow to resolve.   

How is everything ? Am I going to get a warning already for gossiping and chatting nonsense when I have only just  joined (yours living in fear as always - Miss D )

We all natter and chat off topic ~ it's what makes this site different.
I've PMd to introduce myself in a guise you will know ~ I'm sure others who are using "new" names will make themselves known in time.

PS If you want the same avatar I can put it on for you now. Just say the word.
Title: Re: Cheesy gag (literally)
Post by: Nick on August 06, 2007, 07:45:45 PM
I PMd her too and told her the awful truth.

Miss D, believe nothing he says!

OK?

(I must go to bed. It is, I calculate, 32 hours sans sleep now. I may start talking rubbish soon eeek:)

Hey, I just smote myself. Is that allowed?
Title: Re: Cheesy gag (literally)
Post by: Barman on August 06, 2007, 07:58:24 PM

Can I not have a quick Who's Who guide to save me any embarrassment (pretty please) -

 I will be bringing my avatar with me as soon as I can get my computer to sort itself out - (seems to be selective in what it will allow me to do at the moment), otherwise might have to wait until I get to work tomorrow to resolve.   

How is everything ? Am I going to get a warning already for gossiping and chatting nonsense when I have only just  joined (yours living in fear as always - Miss D )
Welcome from Cyprus...  ;)
Title: Re: Cheesy gag (literally)
Post by: Snoopy on August 06, 2007, 08:03:04 PM
I PMd her too and told her the awful truth.

Miss D, believe nothing he says!

OK?

(I must go to bed. It is, I calculate, 32 hours sans sleep now. I may start talking rubbish soon eeek:)

Hey, I just smote myself. Is that allowed?

Goodnight Nick
As for self abuse ~ that's a matter for you to decide.  whistle:
Title: Re: Cheesy gag (literally)
Post by: Nick on August 06, 2007, 08:05:07 PM
Quite right. I have just run a deep bubbley bath. Mrs Nick and The Boy stupidly slept all day and are now baking. they will be up all night and knackered tomorrow. WOuld they listen?

NO evil:
Title: Re: Cheesy gag (literally)
Post by: Miss Demeanour on August 06, 2007, 08:10:35 PM

Good evening Mr Barman,

how's the weather in Cyprus? Is Happy Hour over yet?
Title: Re: Cheesy gag (literally)
Post by: Nick on August 06, 2007, 08:21:24 PM
We have abandoned Happy Hour. Barman lost takings (not that we care) and Wench gives us stuff under the counter (including some special eggs she carries about her person I learn). Ask Wenchy to do here trick with her eggs, Snoopy's kennel and a turkey. Very amusing (the first time evil:) (if you like that facial expression on a turkey. If you don't, well, play blind.


I really must get off to bed........
                                            ...............

Title: Re: Cheesy gag (literally)
Post by: Barman on August 07, 2007, 05:07:34 AM

Good evening Mr Barman,

how's the weather in Cyprus? Is Happy Hour over yet?
Weather is lovely ? as Nick says the happy hour thing wasn?t a spectacular success so now we just have low, low prices every day!  ;)



Don't drink the mild...
Title: Re: Cheesy gag (literally)
Post by: Bar Wench on August 07, 2007, 08:58:40 AM
Quite right. I have just run a deep bubbley bath. Mrs Nick and The Boy stupidly slept all day and are now baking. they will be up all night and knackered tomorrow. WOuld they listen?

NO evil:

Bubble bath!  point: Big girly!  point:

And I'm smiting you for spreading rumors about me and turkeys!!

Miss D! I am delerious with happiness to see you!
Title: Re: Cheesy gag (literally)
Post by: Sour Puss on August 08, 2007, 10:50:07 PM
Quite right. I have just run a deep bubbly bath. Mrs Nick and The Boy stupidly slept all day and are now baking. they will be up all night and very tired tomorrow. Would they listen?

NO evil:

Bubble bath!  point: Big girly!  point:

And I'm smiting you for spreading rumors about me and turkeys!!

Miss D! I am delirious with happiness to see you!

Whilst I would not go as far a delirious, I too am please to see you.  8) Tis' I, the ex soggy moggy!