The Virtual Pub
Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Nick on December 04, 2011, 02:53:31 PM
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Well, all my shopping is done angel1 and that includes presents for me cloud9:
I have cards, wapping paper and sticky stuff. No tree to bovver about.
I even have cakes and mine pies cloud9:
I spect Wenchy's place looks like Santa's grotto ::)
I guess BM has ordered luvly stuff from AMazon for LL ( razz:)
And the rest of you?
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I have just been to the bottom of the garden to saw off two branches of the elder tree. This is what we are having instead of a Christmas tree. Decs (no Ant noooo:) have just been removed from the loft. Wrapping paper yep tape yep parcle ready for the USA ready to go tomorrow. By tonight the parcle for Scotland will be ready. Have ordered a juice extractor from Amazon as well as a book am just about to order a second book. Cake done, mincemeat made and ready for the pies. No pressies for my daughters as yet I keep asking what they want and get no replies. ::) Poinsettias purchased I am going out again in a minute to get some ivy from the front wall So all in all nearly there. surrender:
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Tree up, all pressies bought and wrapped. Cards written to be sent tomorrow.
Now to get into the serious part of Christmas ....the eating and drinking and drinking lol:
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What about your goose and sprouts and stuff??
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Dinner will not be at mine cloud9:
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Dinner will not be at mine cloud9:
Where we gonna go then? cry:
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Pirate's? rubschin:
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He didn't ask me sad24:
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Prolly scared of The Brat noooo:
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Christmas...? rubschin:
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Nothing done here surrender:
Cards will be done next week as will pressies. No decorations and still have no clue what to do on the day surrender:
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Very little done here, couple of prezzies bought, invites to mum, brother and his son to join me and sprogs over the holidays. That's it so far.
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I even have cakes and mine pies
Trust you to have IED pastries. scared2:
Or was this a Dickensian reference to your very own pies?
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Avinsome down there is my new best friend. cloud9:
I shall purchase some random shite for those that are slightly worthy, the rest can piss right off. :thumbsup:
I don't actually do wrapping of the few tatty gifts I buy, or cards, as quite simply, I really CANNOT be arsed anymore, and in return, I also expect nowt, simple as that. :thumbsup:
Why buy stuff only to be given the two finger salute shortly after all this false short lived rancid shitty 'jollyment' crap has all gone and been forgotten about? Shrugs:
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Avinsome down there is my new best friend. cloud9:
I shall purchase some random shite for those that are slightly worthy, the rest can piss right off. :thumbsup:
I don't actually do wrapping of the few tatty gifts I buy, or cards, as quite simply, I really CANNOT be arsed anymore, and in return, I also expect nowt, simple as that. :thumbsup:
Why buy stuff only to be given the two finger salute shortly after all this false short lived rancid shitty 'jollyment' crap has all gone and been forgotten about? Shrugs:
I got you nowt! :thumbsup:
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I FECKIN HATE CRISSMAS Finger:
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Avinsome down there is my new best friend. cloud9:
I shall purchase some random shite for those that are slightly worthy, the rest can piss right off. :thumbsup:
I don't actually do wrapping of the few tatty gifts I buy, or cards, as quite simply, I really CANNOT be arsed anymore, and in return, I also expect nowt, simple as that. :thumbsup:
Why buy stuff only to be given the two finger salute shortly after all this false short lived rancid shitty 'jollyment' crap has all gone and been forgotten about? Shrugs:
I got you nowt! :thumbsup:
Now you see, that actually pleases me.
Why?
Because none of us like disappointments do we ey, high and usually silly expectations and such nonsense, so, if you expect nowt and you get nowt, then you don't get to feel all unhappy and let down.
Simple in'it?
You see, this is why I'm such a 'happy' old bear in a miserable bad tempered sort of fashion, in my own unfathonable and p'raps to some, somewhat confusing way, 'cus you see, I never get to be pleasantly suprised or a feeling of being let down. cloud9:
Voila! :thumbsup:
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I FECKIN HATE CRISSMAS Finger:
No nonsense straight to the bastard point post of the month! :thumbsup:
Piggin' LUV it! cloud9: lol:
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I FECKIN HATE CRISSMAS Finger:
There there dear. happy100 happy100
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Just made the blokes in the office put up our decs. We normally go for the complete tasteless grotto look lol:
First thing in the morning usually is full of really important stuff for them like the football post mortems , the totty on the telly awards and basically taking the utter piss out of each other.
Oh how they moaned ...disruption to the Breakfast Club etc . However they are substantially taller than me and I am not getting up a ladder whilst they take the piss lol:
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(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs8.postimage.org%2F5c3w99p4h%2Fshare_a.jpg&hash=594c396034011075157a83a31a934c02150fe7a6) (http://postimage.org/image/5c3w99p4h/)
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(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs8.postimage.org%2F5c3w99p4h%2Fshare_a.jpg&hash=594c396034011075157a83a31a934c02150fe7a6) (http://postimage.org/image/5c3w99p4h/)
That can't be right Snoops is in horsepicke.
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(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs8.postimage.org%2F5c3w99p4h%2Fshare_a.jpg&hash=594c396034011075157a83a31a934c02150fe7a6) (http://postimage.org/image/5c3w99p4h/)
That can't be right Snoops is in horsepicke.
doh:
I wondered where he was!
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Just made the blokes in the office put up our decs. We normally go for the complete tasteless grotto look lol:
First thing in the morning usually is full of really important stuff for them like the football post mortems , the totty on the telly awards and basically taking the utter piss out of each other.
Oh how they moaned ...disruption to the Breakfast Club etc . However they are substantially taller than me and I am not getting up a ladder whilst they take the piss lol:
working hard towards that final salary pension whistle:
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scared:
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Shrugs: shrugs:
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Just made the blokes in the office put up our decs. We normally go for the complete tasteless grotto look lol:
First thing in the morning usually is full of really important stuff for them like the football post mortems , the totty on the telly awards and basically taking the utter piss out of each other.
Oh how they moaned ...disruption to the Breakfast Club etc . However they are substantially taller than me and I am not getting up a ladder whilst they take the piss lol:
working hard towards that final salary pension whistle:
Oh sorry yes I forget I'm accountable to you ::)
Think you'll find this was at 7.30 in the morning as we are early starters and often late finishers......but I wouldn't want to ruin your opinion of us .
After that of course we went for breakfast at the cafe. Then sat around reading the newspapers til lunch. This afternoon was awful ...I think we might have actually had to take a call. Then we just sat in our counting house counting all our money , til the bell went at 3pm for home time .
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scared2:
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Spank2: looks like I hit a nerve there scared2:
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Can I tell my(bob monkhouse) civil servant joke......... rubschin:
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Spank2: looks like I hit a nerve there scared2:
You know what you have . I have just written out a hooooge diatribe in response to this but scrubbed it.
What's the point ! noooo:
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Popcorn: Popcorn:
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look what i found....
http://media.photobucket.com/image/christmas%20moving/iamanerd121/moving%20violations/snoopy-christmas.gif?o=23 (http://media.photobucket.com/image/christmas%20moving/iamanerd121/moving%20violations/snoopy-christmas.gif?o=23)
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look what i found....
http://media.photobucket.com/image/christmas%20moving/iamanerd121/moving%20violations/snoopy-christmas.gif?o=23 (http://media.photobucket.com/image/christmas%20moving/iamanerd121/moving%20violations/snoopy-christmas.gif?o=23)
Dont do anything yet...he may not be here... noooo:
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Spank2: looks like I hit a nerve there scared2:
You know what you have . I have just written out a hooooge diatribe in response to this but scrubbed it.
What's the point ! noooo:
Good move Miss D :thumbsup:
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Spank2: looks like I hit a nerve there scared2:
You know what you have . I have just written out a hooooge diatribe in response to this but scrubbed it.
What's the point ! noooo:
Good move Miss D :thumbsup:
Indeed so. I won't hear a word said against the nice people at DEFRA. :thumbsup:
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I have been gently defused by promises of violence cloud9:
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I have been gently defused by promises of violence cloud9:
sex014
Yes, that should take your mind off it. eyes:
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I'll be right over...
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Oh Good Grief ;)
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Bread and Butter
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Marmite on toast
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Marmite on toast
Sick and twisted individual noooo:
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Marmite on toast
Sick and twisted individual noooo:
I thought you might like an emetic as an alternative to violence.
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Spank2: looks like I hit a nerve there scared2:
You know what you have . I have just written out a hooooge diatribe in response to this but scrubbed it.
What's the point ! noooo:
Good move Miss D :thumbsup:
Indeed so. I won't hear a word said against the nice people at DEFRA. :thumbsup:
Do tell me you ARE having a laugh? eeek:
The biggest bunch of time wasting arse holes I've ever had the dis-pleasure of ever having to deal with. Angry9:
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Spank2: looks like I hit a nerve there scared2:
You know what you have . I have just written out a hooooge diatribe in response to this but scrubbed it.
What's the point ! noooo:
Good move Miss D :thumbsup:
Indeed so. I won't hear a word said against the nice people at DEFRA. :thumbsup:
Do tell me you ARE having a laugh? eeek:
The biggest bunch of time wasting arse holes I've ever had the dis-pleasure of ever having to deal with. Angry9:
How much do they pay you each year? whistle:
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Spank2: looks like I hit a nerve there scared2:
You know what you have . I have just written out a hooooge diatribe in response to this but scrubbed it.
What's the point ! noooo:
Good move Miss D :thumbsup:
Indeed so. I won't hear a word said against the nice people at DEFRA. :thumbsup:
Do tell me you ARE having a laugh? eeek:
The biggest bunch of time wasting arse holes I've ever had the dis-pleasure of ever having to deal with. Angry9:
How much do they pay you each year? whistle:
How much do WE collectively indirectly pay THEM each year more like it. evil:
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Found growler rehearsing for his xmas show...
http://www.angelfire.com/ga3/holiday5/images/skatingpol.gif (http://www.angelfire.com/ga3/holiday5/images/skatingpol.gif)
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Spank2: looks like I hit a nerve there scared2:
You know what you have . I have just written out a hooooge diatribe in response to this but scrubbed it.
What's the point ! noooo:
Good move Miss D :thumbsup:
Indeed so. I won't hear a word said against the nice people at DEFRA. :thumbsup:
Do tell me you ARE having a laugh? eeek:
The biggest bunch of time wasting arse holes I've ever had the dis-pleasure of ever having to deal with. Angry9:
I did not say that noooo: but I think I agree with him :thumbsup:
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Spank2: looks like I hit a nerve there scared2:
You know what you have . I have just written out a hooooge diatribe in response to this but scrubbed it.
What's the point ! noooo:
Good move Miss D :thumbsup:
Indeed so. I won't hear a word said against the nice people at DEFRA. :thumbsup:
Do tell me you ARE having a laugh? eeek:
The biggest bunch of time wasting arse holes I've ever had the dis-pleasure of ever having to deal with. Angry9:
I did not say that noooo: but I think I agree with him :thumbsup:
No, but I did, and I'll say it again. THEY ARE SHITE, and along with their mates from the E.A. and all of the farmers I've had the dis-pleasure of dealing with over the years, that subsequently completely and utterly bolloxed up my off roading school for youngsters culminating in the eventual closure of said venture. cussing:.
I never want to hear about exposed tree roots and stagnant water in ruts ever again thank you, bunch of mealey mouthed jobs worthy red taped wrapped wankers. Angry9:
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Spank2: looks like I hit a nerve there scared2:
You know what you have . I have just written out a hooooge diatribe in response to this but scrubbed it.
What's the point ! noooo:
Good move Miss D :thumbsup:
Indeed so. I won't hear a word said against the nice people at DEFRA. :thumbsup:
Do tell me you ARE having a laugh? eeek:
The biggest bunch of time wasting arse holes I've ever had the dis-pleasure of ever having to deal with. Angry9:
I did not say that noooo: but I think I agree with him :thumbsup:
No, but I did, and I'll say it again. THEY ARE SHITE, and along with their mates from the E.A. and all of the farmers I've had the dis-pleasure of dealing with over the years, that subsequently completely and utterly bolloxed up my off roading school for youngsters culminating in the eventual closure of said venture. cussing:.
I never want to hear about exposed tree roots and stagnant water in ruts ever again thank you, bunch of mealey mouthed jobs worthy red taped wrapped wankers. Angry9:
:thumbsup:
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Lets talk about land crop rotation, rented out land to tenants that don't even want you driving around perimeters amongst weeds shite and undergrowth, oh, and of course, the lack of planning permission so therefore NO advertising allowed, oh, and we want more rent off you 'cus you're not bringing enough customers in, oh, and the bloody fisheries or someone doesn't like you being here in case you poison the friggin' trout with spillages or some such shite, and we'll all be fined, lah de dah de diddly dum.
Shall we then talk about mission statements, H& bastard S certifiacates and check lists, oh, and insurance, lets not forget that rip off ey?
Mention the word 'kids' and you can times the figure by twenty. Angry9:
Are you actually sure you want me here you tosser?
No?
Well why TF did you ask invite me here in the first place you great cock headed tool?
Yea, 'appy bastard christmas to you too, and all you scummy chummies in the Civil Dis-service, arse wipes. cussing:
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whacky115
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whacky115
And you can sod off too knobby. Angry9:
Could have all worked out beautifully IF only I'd been quietly allowed to carry on as i was.
I'm upset now reflecting on this, you unsympathetic weasel. cussing:
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happy002 happy002 happy002 happy002
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For the past twenty years a local farmer has allowed the village kids to ride their motor bikes through a small copse and round one of his fields. It is halfway up a fairly steep slope and not much use for anything but ........ he never got planning consent for the change of use so the county council told him it had to stop. He said "Fvck off, it's my field, I'm not charging anything, just keeping the kids off the streets and also off of common land where they would not be welcomed on their bikes" and carried on.
So Denbighshire took him to court ~ fined £5000 + Costs.
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For the past twenty years a local farmer has allowed the village kids to ride their motor bikes through a small copse and round one of his fields. It is halfway up a fairly steep slope and not much use for anything but ........ he never got planning consent for the change of use so the county council told him it had to stop. He said "Fvck off, it's my field, I'm not charging anything, just keeping the kids off the streets and also off of common land where they would not be welcomed on their bikes" and carried on.
So Denbighshire took him to court ~ fined £5000 + Costs.
noooo:
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For the past twenty years a local farmer has allowed the village kids to ride their motor bikes through a small copse and round one of his fields. It is halfway up a fairly steep slope and not much use for anything but ........ he never got planning consent for the change of use so the county council told him it had to stop. He said "Fvck off, it's my field, I'm not charging anything, just keeping the kids off the streets and also off of common land where they would not be welcomed on their bikes" and carried on.
So Denbighshire took him to court ~ fined £5000 + Costs.
Sadly, quite believable. eeek:
Another 5 grand towards the Golden Pension Pot ey, ::) and these public servant dept's. wonder why we hate them so much. Angry9:
I really miss my little business. cry: I enjoyed it, the parents and kids enjoyed it, but in the end, it was strangled to death by beuracratic (sp) red tape and a selection of arse holes.
Talk about gong Off Topic ey? lol:
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Back on topic:
Have just received my first crimbo cards. One from the ex in-laws eeek: and one from me Uncle Jim in Burnley. :thumbsup:
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Coincidentally I've just been looking up "last posting days for Christmas" on the Mail website rubschin: .
Seems like I've missed the recommended date for Oz by a day noooo: , still, it's only recommended - I shall get those out this afternoon :thumbsup:
(The first one came in from Oz yesterday!)
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Coincidentally I've just been looking up "last posting days for Christmas" on the Mail website rubschin: .
Seems like I've missed the recommended date for Oz by a day noooo: , still, it's only recommended - I shall get those out this afternoon :thumbsup:
(The first one came in from Oz yesterday!)
When is Cyprus like...? whistle:
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From the UK >> Cyprus, this Friday 9th (airmail). Surface was last month whistle:
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From the UK >> Cyprus, this Friday 9th (airmail). Surface was last month whistle:
I wouldn't have thought for a moment that you would send it surface.... noooo:
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drumroll:
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Whoops! redface:
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From the UK >> Cyprus, this Friday 9th (airmail). Surface was last month whistle:
OOOPS............. redface:............virtual cards........ rubschin:
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Whoops! redface:
Happy Christmas Easter BM and LL?
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Whoops! redface:
Happy Christmas Easter BM and LL?
sad32:
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http://isitchristmas.com/ (http://isitchristmas.com/)
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lol: lol: lol:
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Looks like these two were up ready and running for a good ole fashioned crimbul punch up anyway ey?
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2071145/Fathers-finger-bitten-NATIVITY-PLAY-brawl-Christmas-spirit-evaporates.html?ito=feeds-newsxml (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2071145/Fathers-finger-bitten-NATIVITY-PLAY-brawl-Christmas-spirit-evaporates.html?ito=feeds-newsxml)
"Yea, 'appy crimbo to you too twat", spit. lol:
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http://isitchristmas.com/ (http://isitchristmas.com/)
lol: lol: lol:
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Looks like these two were up ready and running for a good ole fashioned crimbul punch up anyway ey?
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2071145/Fathers-finger-bitten-NATIVITY-PLAY-brawl-Christmas-spirit-evaporates.html?ito=feeds-newsxml (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2071145/Fathers-finger-bitten-NATIVITY-PLAY-brawl-Christmas-spirit-evaporates.html?ito=feeds-newsxml)
Finger Lickin' Good ;D
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http://youtu.be/oqsK7uMkFQE (http://youtu.be/oqsK7uMkFQE) :thumbsup:
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One ugly whinging green wellied tree hugging lentil licking munter obviously if ever there was one like, and what's with that friggin' dozy 'at in doors like ey?
Got to agree with her though :thumbsup: ...apart from donating yer money to 'the needy''.
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Reuters) - Companies planning to spend thousands of dollars for staff Christmas parties, even with open bars, shouldn't bother because most U.S. employees would prefer money.
Nearly three quarters of 2,574 workers questioned in a Harris poll said they would opt for a cash bonus, followed by 62 percent who would prefer a salary increase and 32 percent who wanted more paid time off.
Only four percent put a Christmas party on the top of their holiday.
:thumbsup:
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Just brought the Christmas tree down from the loft and noticed there was a present still hanging on it.
The kids would have loved that kitten...
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Just brought the Christmas tree down from the loft and noticed there was a present still hanging on it.
The kids would have loved that kitten...
From last year........... whistle:
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Try this one...
My kids keep on taking the piss out of my alzheimers. Wait till the cheeky little cunts wake up on christmas morning to find no eggs under the bonfire...
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;D
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Thanks JOM. Barmong is prolly still trying to work that one out. I bet he's got his crayons and paper out, drawing pictures with arrows and stuff...
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Definitley NSFW, keep the sound low
Eric Idle's view (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqfZUX5svCg#)
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Frosty the Pervert (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vDYv00PcZNI#)
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Definitley NSFW, keep the sound low
Eric Idle's view (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqfZUX5svCg#)
Gets my vote :thumbsup:
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Only 224 sleeps until Christmas! # just saying... Xmas3:
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Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001: Party001:
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::)
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::) ::)
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::) ::) ::)
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(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs7.postimage.org%2F5g6o7it8n%2F6880406143_a47646e14f_o.jpg&hash=00f7ffd6ecd5341a57b3f7a6cd0b2360adc0ec3a) (http://postimage.org/image/5g6o7it8n/)
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Shrugs:
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Only 223 sleeps until Christmas! # just saying... Xmas3:
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Carry on and It'll be The Big Sleep for someone whistle:
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(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fnews.bbc.co.uk%2Folmedia%2F565000%2Fimages%2F_566045_good_grief.gif&hash=8df0e49d9a06db9ce5dcddbf2bf59baead0f9269)
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Carry on and It'll be The Big Sleep for someone whistle:
lol: lol: lol: