The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Nick on November 03, 2011, 06:10:54 PM

Title: Landlord woes
Post by: Nick on November 03, 2011, 06:10:54 PM
My nice tenant calls from London in floods of tears. From what I can gather through the snuffling she and her BF have split up, he has legged it and she has decided to go to Brazil eeek:

Headaches are coming, I can foresee. And expense  evil:
Title: Re: Landlord woes
Post by: Pastis on November 03, 2011, 06:48:42 PM
My nice tenant calls from London in floods of tears. From what I can gather through the snuffling she and her BF have split up, he has legged it and she has decided to got Brazil eeek:

Headaches are coming, I can foresee. And expense  evil:

Are you paying for her Brazilian then?   rubschin:
Title: Re: Landlord woes
Post by: GROWLER on November 03, 2011, 06:49:28 PM
Which is the EXACT reason that I pulled the plug on my buy to let property 8 years ago.
Absolute and dreadful nightmare.
Title: Re: Landlord woes
Post by: Miss Demeanour on November 03, 2011, 08:47:24 PM
You should be able to rent it our within minutes ....do you need some help ?
Title: Re: Landlord woes
Post by: Nick on November 03, 2011, 08:48:36 PM
What makes you say that rubschin:
Title: Re: Landlord woes
Post by: Pirate on November 03, 2011, 09:07:58 PM
My nice tenant calls from London in floods of tears. From what I can gather through the snuffling she and her BF have split up, he has legged it and she has decided to got Brazil eeek:

Headaches are coming, I can foresee. And expense  evil:

Are you paying for her Brazilian then?   rubschin:

 happy001
Title: Re: Landlord woes
Post by: Nick on November 03, 2011, 09:10:36 PM
 evil:  Since she is young and vulnerable I shall check her out thoroughly  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: Landlord woes
Post by: Nick on November 04, 2011, 09:22:07 AM
My tenant has suggested that her cousin should move in, which suits me.

She sent me a pic of said cousin


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs9.postimage.org%2Fyj83yrqx7%2F370166_506484786_605298134_n.jpg&hash=dca29a683705dcfbcf347fb478495f94f96ba33f) (http://postimage.org/image/yj83yrqx7/) eeek:


Title: Re: Landlord woes
Post by: Darwins Selection on November 04, 2011, 10:38:44 AM
My tenant has suggested that her cousin should move in, which suits me.

She sent me a pic of said cousin


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs9.postimage.org%2Fyj83yrqx7%2F370166_506484786_605298134_n.jpg&hash=dca29a683705dcfbcf347fb478495f94f96ba33f) (http://postimage.org/image/yj83yrqx7/) eeek:

Isn't that Olgas niece, Nora Nobboff?
Title: Re: Landlord woes
Post by: Just One More on November 04, 2011, 05:14:27 PM
Well spotted Darwin, IIRC, her dad is Slobadan Macockyerbitch
Title: Re: Landlord woes
Post by: Barman on November 04, 2011, 05:15:01 PM
Well spotted Darwin, IIRC, her dad is Slobadan Macockyerbitch

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: Landlord woes
Post by: Nick on November 04, 2011, 05:15:51 PM
It seems she is an air hostess eyes:
Title: Re: Landlord woes
Post by: The Moan Ranger on November 04, 2011, 05:35:39 PM
SleazyJet?
Title: Re: Landlord woes
Post by: Nick on November 04, 2011, 05:37:13 PM
Not orange enough noooo:
Title: Re: Landlord woes
Post by: Just One More on November 04, 2011, 06:06:26 PM
It seems she is an air hostess eyes:

Did she get in the way when TMR was chucking the bags about  rubschin:
Title: Re: Landlord woes
Post by: Grumpmeister on November 04, 2011, 06:13:07 PM
No, the photo was taken after Nick opened the door for her.  whistle:
Title: Re: Landlord woes
Post by: The Moan Ranger on November 04, 2011, 06:19:04 PM
I will have you know that I have only injured 2 colleagues so far. It's not my fault they were too slow to see a 30kg bag flying the 20ft or so to the hold door.
Title: Re: Landlord woes
Post by: Nick on November 05, 2011, 08:34:33 PM
My tenants call. The flat is flooded. It seems the occupants of the flat above have had some sort of washing machine disaster  Angry9:

I advise them to get the upstairs' neighbour's insurance details.

Long pause

The bastards have no insurance  cussing: cussing: cussing:
 cussing:I can't contact my insurers till MOnday.

My tenants have decamped to an hotel  eeek:
Title: Re: Landlord woes
Post by: Barman on November 05, 2011, 08:36:52 PM
My tenants call. The flat is flooded. It seems the occupants of the flat above have had some sort of washing machine disaster  Angry9:

I advise them to get the upstairs' neighbour's insurance details.

Long pause

The bastards have no insurance  cussing: cussing: cussing:
 cussing:I can't contact my insurers till MOnday.

My tenants have decamped to an hotel  eeek:

 point:
Title: Re: Landlord woes
Post by: Nick on November 05, 2011, 08:38:54 PM
 Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9:
Title: Re: Landlord woes
Post by: Miss Demeanour on November 05, 2011, 08:39:42 PM
My tenants call. The flat is flooded. It seems the occupants of the flat above have had some sort of washing machine disaster  Angry9:

I advise them to get the upstairs' neighbour's insurance details.

Long pause

The bastards have no insurance  cussing: cussing: cussing:
 cussing:I can't contact my insurers till MOnday.

My tenants have decamped to an hotel  eeek:

Why do they need to decamp to a hotel ????

I presume the kitchen is above their kitchen which is usually where a washing machine is located. Have the electrics gone or anything then ???
Title: Re: Landlord woes
Post by: Barman on November 05, 2011, 08:39:53 PM
I rented my house out once.... it flooded....  noooo:
Title: Re: Landlord woes
Post by: Nick on November 05, 2011, 08:40:50 PM
My tenants call. The flat is flooded. It seems the occupants of the flat above have had some sort of washing machine disaster  Angry9:

I advise them to get the upstairs' neighbour's insurance details.

Long pause

The bastards have no insurance  cussing: cussing: cussing:
 cussing:I can't contact my insurers till MOnday.

My tenants have decamped to an hotel  eeek:

Why do they need to decamp to a hotel ????

I presume the kitchen is above their kitchen which is usually where a washing machine is located. Have the electrics gone or anything then ???

It flooded their bedrooms. The carpets and mattresses are soaked  cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
Title: Re: Landlord woes
Post by: Miss Demeanour on November 05, 2011, 08:41:59 PM
Both bedrooms   eeek:

 rubschin:
Title: Re: Landlord woes
Post by: Nick on November 05, 2011, 08:42:59 PM
YES  Banghead Banghead cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9:
Title: Re: Landlord woes
Post by: Miss Demeanour on November 05, 2011, 08:44:39 PM
I wonder if a bit of poetic licence is being used ...is the kitchen of the flat above not located above your kitchen then ???
Title: Re: Landlord woes
Post by: Nick on November 05, 2011, 08:46:23 PM
Read your PMs you mong  Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead
Title: Re: Landlord woes
Post by: Miss Demeanour on November 05, 2011, 08:49:42 PM
Gonna cost you lots then  lol:
Title: Re: Landlord woes
Post by: Nick on November 05, 2011, 08:51:08 PM
I have landlord's insurance, legal cover and only a £100 excess angel1. Those carpets needed replacing anyhoo.............
Title: Re: Landlord woes
Post by: Miss Demeanour on November 05, 2011, 08:52:04 PM
Your insurance won't cover them staying in an hotel though ... whistle:
Title: Re: Landlord woes
Post by: Nick on November 05, 2011, 08:53:11 PM
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Title: Re: Landlord woes
Post by: GROWLER on November 05, 2011, 08:53:52 PM
I rented my house out once.... it flooded....  noooo:

Mine just got wrecked and the leccy meter was tampered with, and guess who got the piggin' blame for it? Banghead

Nick the dick. Just sell the bastard place....after you've dried it out like. whistle:
Title: Re: Landlord woes
Post by: Miss Demeanour on November 05, 2011, 08:54:33 PM
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Then what the feck are you moaning about ?  noooo:
Title: Re: Landlord woes
Post by: Nick on November 05, 2011, 08:54:56 PM
It will be sold in 2019
Title: Re: Landlord woes
Post by: Snoopy on November 05, 2011, 08:55:37 PM
Good plan  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Landlord woes
Post by: Nick on November 05, 2011, 08:56:38 PM
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Then what the feck are you moaning about ?  noooo:

I want to MOAN. OK??

Wimmin cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
Title: Re: Landlord woes
Post by: GROWLER on November 05, 2011, 08:57:05 PM
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Well after all that piggin' ranting and bloody raging, WTF are you actually screaming about, you useless gormless lump of overweight ginger lard. Shrugs:

Give me friggin' strength, tosser. Banghead
Title: Re: Landlord woes
Post by: Darwins Selection on November 05, 2011, 08:57:23 PM
It will be sold in 2019
So now we know when the property market will reach its lowest ebb.  noooo:
Title: Re: Landlord woes
Post by: GROWLER on November 05, 2011, 08:58:06 PM
Quote
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cloud9:

Then what the feck are you moaning about ?  noooo:

I want to MOAN. OK??

Wimmin cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:

Nowt new there then ey? whistle:
Title: Re: Landlord woes
Post by: Miss Demeanour on November 05, 2011, 08:58:25 PM
It may be converted to a barge by then  lol:
Title: Re: Landlord woes
Post by: Barman on November 06, 2011, 06:18:40 AM
It will be sold in 2019
So now we know when the property market will reach its lowest ebb.  noooo:

 lol: lol: lol: