Author Topic: Fresh from the Inbox  (Read 186994 times)

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Offline Barman

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Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4246 on: August 12, 2017, 02:42:14 PM »
Well, whatever nevermind

Offline boogs

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4247 on: August 20, 2017, 11:05:06 AM »
BUTTERCUPS AND GOLF BALLS
 
Towards the end of a round of golf, Dave hit his ball into the woods and found it in a patch of pretty, yellow buttercups.

Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch.
 
All of a sudden? POOF!!
 
In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared.
 
She said, 'I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups? Just for doing what you have done, you won't have any butter for your popcorn for the rest of your life...  better still, you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life..... As a matter of fact, you'll never have any butter for anything for the rest of your life!!!'
 
Then POOF!... she was gone!
 
After Dave recovered from the shock, he hollered for his friend, 'Fred, where are you?'
 
Fred yells back 'I'm over here in the pussy willows.'
 
Dave shouts back, 'DON'T SWING, Fred! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON'T SWING!!!!!
 
 
You only get one chance at this life so make the most of it .

Offline boogs

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4248 on: August 20, 2017, 11:14:52 AM »
 A beautiful woman went to the gynaecologist... The doctor took one look at the woman and all his professionalism flew
out the window. He immediately told her to get undressed.
 
After she disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. While doing so he asked her, “Do you know what I am doing?”
 
“Yes,” she replied, “You are checking for abrasions or Dermatological abnormalities.”
 
“That” s right,” said the doctor.. He then began to fondle her breasts. “Do you know what I am doing now?” he asked.
 
“Yes,” she said, “You are checking for lumps which might indicate Breast cancer.”
 
“Correct,” replied the shady doctor. Finally, he mounted his patient and started having sexual intercourse with her. He asked, “Do you know what I am doing now?”
 
“Yes,” she said, “You’re getting syphilis; which is why I came here in the first place.”
You only get one chance at this life so make the most of it .

Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4249 on: August 20, 2017, 11:22:51 AM »
happy001 both  :thumbsup:
Well, whatever nevermind

Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4250 on: August 20, 2017, 06:12:53 PM »
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4251 on: August 20, 2017, 06:58:22 PM »
I mostly despair

Offline Nick

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Warning: May contain Skub
Cat sitter extraordinaire
Semi-professional crocodile

Offline Barman

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Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4254 on: August 24, 2017, 09:16:02 AM »
Well, whatever nevermind

Offline Darwins Selection

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I mostly despair

Offline Barman

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Online Miss Demeanour

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4257 on: August 25, 2017, 08:19:50 AM »
 lol: lol: lol:

I like that button  :thumbsup:
Skubber

Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4258 on: August 25, 2017, 01:58:03 PM »
lol: lol: lol:

I like that button  :thumbsup:
It's so literally like a lifesaver 

Oh and  lol: lol: lol: lol:

Well, whatever nevermind

Offline boogs

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4259 on: August 25, 2017, 09:13:33 PM »
You only get one chance at this life so make the most of it .