Author Topic: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread  (Read 20667 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Grumpmeister

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 30618
  • Reputation: -24
  • Prankmeister General
Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
« Reply #30 on: June 20, 2015, 04:56:46 PM »
Break into a restaurant and accidentally lock yourself in the freezer, despite the fact that the walk in ones are designed to be opened from the inside to prevent that happening.  noooo:

I'm sure that when I was younger we had a better (or at least more intelligent) class of burglar.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3132594/Burglars-nearly-freeze-death-locking-inside-walk-freezer-raid-Chinese-restaurant-rescued-police.html

You know, I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So, now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe

Offline apc2010

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 60509
  • Reputation: -2
Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
« Reply #31 on: June 20, 2015, 08:42:47 PM »
Break into a restaurant and accidentally lock yourself in the freezer, despite the fact that the walk in ones are designed to be opened from the inside to prevent that happening.  noooo:

I'm sure that when I was younger we had a better (or at least more intelligent) class of burglar.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3132594/Burglars-nearly-freeze-death-locking-inside-walk-freezer-raid-Chinese-restaurant-rescued-police.html

We were..........

Offline Miss Creant

  • Wet behind the ears
  • **
  • Posts: 453
  • Reputation: 1
Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
« Reply #32 on: June 21, 2015, 01:07:22 PM »
You steal 15k from your employers and end up making yourself look like a bargain basement drag queen..  noooo:



Quote
Mr Lody said: 'She began working for the company in March 2012 and it wasn't long before she started stealing from her employer. Perhaps she didn't realise how tightly financial systems are controlled.'

Stuart Newsam, for Farier, said: 'This offending is out of character. She didn't consider the consequences of her actions and thoroughly regrets now what she did.'

So are you saying that if the financial systems weren't as tightly controlled it would have been okay to steal the cash?  noooo:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3050197/Greedy-cashier-stole-15-000-bosses-blew-hotels-opulent-lifestyle-hands-dirty-rules-judge.html

Quote
...and thoroughly regrets getting caught....

::)

I have to admit to giving the VP collection box a brief shake occasionally, it's empty, it never rustles of clinks.  When I plucked up enough courage to shove my hands down the back of the sofas in here all I came away with were stale crisp crumbs under me nails, well, I think they were crisp crumbs.............., rubschin:

Offline Nick

  • Needs to get out more...
  • ******
  • Posts: 103680
  • Reputation: -115
Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
« Reply #33 on: June 21, 2015, 01:12:53 PM »
It's what you do if you are callled SHanice  noooo:
Warning: May contain Skub
Cat sitter extraordinaire
Semi-professional crocodile

Offline boogs

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 11836
  • Reputation: 3
Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
« Reply #34 on: June 21, 2015, 04:21:24 PM »
You steal 15k from your employers and end up making yourself look like a bargain basement drag queen..  noooo:



Quote
Mr Lody said: 'She began working for the company in March 2012 and it wasn't long before she started stealing from her employer. Perhaps she didn't realise how tightly financial systems are controlled.'

Stuart Newsam, for Farier, said: 'This offending is out of character. She didn't consider the consequences of her actions and thoroughly regrets now what she did.'

So are you saying that if the financial systems weren't as tightly controlled it would have been okay to steal the cash?  noooo:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3050197/Greedy-cashier-stole-15-000-bosses-blew-hotels-opulent-lifestyle-hands-dirty-rules-judge.html

Quote
...and thoroughly regrets getting caught....

::)

I have to admit to giving the VP collection box a brief shake occasionally, it's empty, it never rustles of clinks.  When I plucked up enough courage to shove my hands down the back of the sofas in here all I came away with were stale crisp crumbs under me nails, well, I think they were crisp crumbs.............., rubschin:

 sick2: sick2: Oh dear Miss C please be careful to sanitise your hands , saw Nick with his leg up on the sofa by the fireplace the other day  noooo: scared2: scared2:
You only get one chance at this life so make the most of it .



Offline Grumpmeister

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 30618
  • Reputation: -24
  • Prankmeister General
You know, I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So, now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe

Offline Grumpmeister

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 30618
  • Reputation: -24
  • Prankmeister General
Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
« Reply #38 on: September 17, 2015, 05:37:36 PM »
That van belongs to the bastard that sacked me, I'm going to torch it..............oops forgot I was wearing flammable clothing.  noooo:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3238763/CCTV-footage-shows-moment-drunk-arsonist-set-fire-tried-torch-Transit-van-revenge-attack-former-boss.html
You know, I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So, now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe

Offline Grumpmeister

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 30618
  • Reputation: -24
  • Prankmeister General
Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
« Reply #39 on: October 05, 2015, 10:23:33 PM »
I guess you could say that these two thieves really do have shit for brains..  lol:

http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/609998/Crediton-Devon-rug-poo-sewage-youths
You know, I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So, now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe

Offline Steve

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 51615
  • Reputation: -4
Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
« Reply #40 on: October 05, 2015, 10:37:01 PM »
no matter how many instances of white swans we may have observed, this does not justify the conclusion that all swans are white.  (Karl Popper)

Offline Grumpmeister

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 30618
  • Reputation: -24
  • Prankmeister General
Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
« Reply #41 on: October 05, 2015, 11:36:34 PM »
I guess you could say that these two thieves really do have shit for brains..  lol:

http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/609998/Crediton-Devon-rug-poo-sewage-youths
facepalm:

I could have said they were shit out of luck instead...  redface:
You know, I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So, now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe

Offline Grumpmeister

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 30618
  • Reputation: -24
  • Prankmeister General
Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
« Reply #42 on: October 09, 2015, 12:04:11 AM »
The standard of criminals in this country has really gone downhill over the years. This moron is going to have to wok harder...  noooo:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3265114/Wok-d-one-Hapless-crook-attempts-rob-Chinese-takeaway-smashed-face-frying-pan.html
You know, I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So, now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe

Offline Barman

  • Administrator
  • Needs to get out more...
  • *****
  • Posts: 140140
  • Reputation: -49
  • Since 1960...
    • Virtual Pub!
Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
« Reply #43 on: October 09, 2015, 05:41:51 AM »
The standard of criminals in this country has really gone downhill over the years. This moron is going to have to wok harder...  noooo:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3265114/Wok-d-one-Hapless-crook-attempts-rob-Chinese-takeaway-smashed-face-frying-pan.html

Excerent!  razz:
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline Steve

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 51615
  • Reputation: -4
Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
« Reply #44 on: October 09, 2015, 11:35:51 AM »
The standard of criminals in this country has really gone downhill over the years. This moron is going to have to wok harder...  noooo:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3265114/Wok-d-one-Hapless-crook-attempts-rob-Chinese-takeaway-smashed-face-frying-pan.html

Excerent!  razz:
;D ;D ;D

Shame though that the women got injured, he should have got another 4 years for that
no matter how many instances of white swans we may have observed, this does not justify the conclusion that all swans are white.  (Karl Popper)