The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => Saloon Bar => Topic started by: Grumpmeister on June 25, 2014, 02:41:12 AM

Title: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on June 25, 2014, 02:41:12 AM
I've been thinking about doing one of these for a while now given the number of hapless criminal cockwombles who end up in the news. Basically it's similar to the Darwin awards except for criminals who are so astonishingly stupid that they may as well just walk straight to the nearest police station.

To start things off: Break into someone's home, nick some property, log into your facebook page and then forget to log out before legging it.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2667413/Burglar-busted-stopping-check-FACEBOOK-victims-computer-forgetting-log-out.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2667413/Burglar-busted-stopping-check-FACEBOOK-victims-computer-forgetting-log-out.html)

Quote
Sometime later Mr Wood noticed a Facebook page on his computer he didn't recognize.

Realizing what must have happened, he shared a picture of Wig from Wig's profile.
Mr Wood announced Wig was a thief and shared his phone number, asking for anyone with information to call him.

He did not expect to get a text from Wig himself in the evening.

'I replied (saying) ''you left a few things at my house last night, how can I get them back to you?''' Mr Wood said.
Wig agreed to return to the house and pick up his things.

As Mr Wood saw him approaching, he called 911.

I'd say 7 out of 10 for that one.  lol:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on June 25, 2014, 04:44:08 AM
I've been thinking about doing one of these for a while now given the number of hapless criminal cockwombles who end up in the news. Basically it's similar to the Darwin awards except for criminals who are so astonishingly stupid that they may as well just walk straight to the nearest police station.

To start things off: Break into someone's home, nick some property, log into your facebook page and then forget to log out before legging it.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2667413/Burglar-busted-stopping-check-FACEBOOK-victims-computer-forgetting-log-out.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2667413/Burglar-busted-stopping-check-FACEBOOK-victims-computer-forgetting-log-out.html)

Quote
Sometime later Mr Wood noticed a Facebook page on his computer he didn't recognize.

Realizing what must have happened, he shared a picture of Wig from Wig's profile.
Mr Wood announced Wig was a thief and shared his phone number, asking for anyone with information to call him.

He did not expect to get a text from Wig himself in the evening.

'I replied (saying) ''you left a few things at my house last night, how can I get them back to you?''' Mr Wood said.
Wig agreed to return to the house and pick up his things.

As Mr Wood saw him approaching, he called 911.

I'd say 7 out of 10 for that one.  lol:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: apc2010 on June 25, 2014, 10:49:43 AM
 noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Steve on June 25, 2014, 04:03:38 PM
I've been thinking about doing one of these for a while now given the number of hapless criminal cockwombles who end up in the news. Basically it's similar to the Darwin awards except for criminals who are so astonishingly stupid that they may as well just walk straight to the nearest police station.

To start things off: Break into someone's home, nick some property, log into your facebook page and then forget to log out before legging it.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2667413/Burglar-busted-stopping-check-FACEBOOK-victims-computer-forgetting-log-out.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2667413/Burglar-busted-stopping-check-FACEBOOK-victims-computer-forgetting-log-out.html)

Quote
Sometime later Mr Wood noticed a Facebook page on his computer he didn't recognize.

Realizing what must have happened, he shared a picture of Wig from Wig's profile.
Mr Wood announced Wig was a thief and shared his phone number, asking for anyone with information to call him.

He did not expect to get a text from Wig himself in the evening.

'I replied (saying) ''you left a few things at my house last night, how can I get them back to you?''' Mr Wood said.
Wig agreed to return to the house and pick up his things.

As Mr Wood saw him approaching, he called 911.

I'd say 7 out of 10 for that one.  lol:

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on July 22, 2014, 02:43:58 AM
Just released from prison and what does this genius do? He burgles a hairdressers and leaves his release papers behind.  lol:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2700810/The-bungling-burglar-Britain-Criminal-caught-thieving-day-released-prison-dropped-release-papers-break-in.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2700810/The-bungling-burglar-Britain-Criminal-caught-thieving-day-released-prison-dropped-release-papers-break-in.html)
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on July 22, 2014, 05:03:47 AM
Just released from prison and what does this genius do? He burgles a hairdressers and leaves his release papers behind.  lol:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2700810/The-bungling-burglar-Britain-Criminal-caught-thieving-day-released-prison-dropped-release-papers-break-in.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2700810/The-bungling-burglar-Britain-Criminal-caught-thieving-day-released-prison-dropped-release-papers-break-in.html)

Quote
And after pleading guilty to the salon burglary on June 25, and three other attempted burglaries on the same day, he was sent back to jail for 12 months.

 Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Steve on July 22, 2014, 07:42:44 AM
Just released from prison and what does this genius do? He burgles a hairdressers and leaves his release papers behind.  lol:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2700810/The-bungling-burglar-Britain-Criminal-caught-thieving-day-released-prison-dropped-release-papers-break-in.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2700810/The-bungling-burglar-Britain-Criminal-caught-thieving-day-released-prison-dropped-release-papers-break-in.html)

Quote
And after pleading guilty to the salon burglary on June 25, and three other attempted burglaries on the same day, he was sent back to jail for 12 months.

 Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead
I see your
 Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead  and raise you a  Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead Banghead

12 months FFS  ::) ::) ::)   
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on August 07, 2014, 02:53:11 PM
I'd have thought that the obvious thing if you are going to burgle someone is not to stare gormlessly at the CCTV camera for several seconds.  lol:

Quote
The open-mouthed thief stares directly into the lens for several seconds, seemingly unable to decide what to do with himself.
He then appears to shout the word ‘camera’, before continuing to stare at the lens - still with his mouth wide open.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2718836/Moment-gormless-burglar-stares-open-mouthed-CCTV-camera-stealing-try-cover-tracks-footage-downloaded.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2718836/Moment-gormless-burglar-stares-open-mouthed-CCTV-camera-stealing-try-cover-tracks-footage-downloaded.html)

Unfortunately I have a cynical feeling that the footage won't be allowed in court when he is nabbed.  noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on August 07, 2014, 05:56:49 PM
I'd have thought that the obvious thing if you are going to burgle someone is not to stare gormlessly at the CCTV camera for several seconds.  lol:

Quote
The open-mouthed thief stares directly into the lens for several seconds, seemingly unable to decide what to do with himself.
He then appears to shout the word ‘camera’, before continuing to stare at the lens - still with his mouth wide open.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2718836/Moment-gormless-burglar-stares-open-mouthed-CCTV-camera-stealing-try-cover-tracks-footage-downloaded.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2718836/Moment-gormless-burglar-stares-open-mouthed-CCTV-camera-stealing-try-cover-tracks-footage-downloaded.html)

Unfortunately I have a cynical feeling that the footage won't be allowed in court when he is nabbed.  noooo:

"Cunt" is the only word that works....  noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on March 01, 2015, 04:09:11 AM
The manufacturers should use this video as a marketing tool "It takes more than a dickhead with a brick to break into one of our cars".

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2973808/Grand-theft-oh-no-Watch-dozy-thief-knocked-throws-brick-car-window-rebounds-strikes-head.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2973808/Grand-theft-oh-no-Watch-dozy-thief-knocked-throws-brick-car-window-rebounds-strikes-head.html)
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on March 01, 2015, 06:16:49 AM
The manufacturers should use this video as a marketing tool "It takes more than a dickhead with a brick to break into one of our cars".

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2973808/Grand-theft-oh-no-Watch-dozy-thief-knocked-throws-brick-car-window-rebounds-strikes-head.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2973808/Grand-theft-oh-no-Watch-dozy-thief-knocked-throws-brick-car-window-rebounds-strikes-head.html)

Hang him!  evil:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: apc2010 on March 01, 2015, 09:11:20 AM
The manufacturers should use this video as a marketing tool "It takes more than a dickhead with a brick to break into one of our cars".

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2973808/Grand-theft-oh-no-Watch-dozy-thief-knocked-throws-brick-car-window-rebounds-strikes-head.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2973808/Grand-theft-oh-no-Watch-dozy-thief-knocked-throws-brick-car-window-rebounds-strikes-head.html)

 ;D ;D    noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on April 13, 2015, 10:36:49 PM
If you are going to rob a shop, don't choose the one your mother in law works in and especially on a day she is there...  noooo:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3037219/Armed-robber-recognised-mother-law-working-shop-till.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3037219/Armed-robber-recognised-mother-law-working-shop-till.html)
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: apc2010 on April 13, 2015, 11:17:18 PM
If you are going to rob a shop, don't choose the one your mother in law works in and especially on a day she is there...  noooo:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3037219/Armed-robber-recognised-mother-law-working-shop-till.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3037219/Armed-robber-recognised-mother-law-working-shop-till.html)

 noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Steve on April 13, 2015, 11:49:30 PM
If you are going to rob a shop, don't choose the one your mother in law works in and especially on a day she is there...  noooo:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3037219/Armed-robber-recognised-mother-law-working-shop-till.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3037219/Armed-robber-recognised-mother-law-working-shop-till.html)

 noooo:
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on April 17, 2015, 10:01:26 PM
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3044092/Idiot-prisoner-tried-carve-sign-beast-666-forehead-used-mirror-came-backwards.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3044092/Idiot-prisoner-tried-carve-sign-beast-666-forehead-used-mirror-came-backwards.html)

 happy001 happy001 happy001

As for the mental health attempt, if it is successful simply lock him away for life in a secure institution.  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on April 18, 2015, 06:08:35 AM
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3044092/Idiot-prisoner-tried-carve-sign-beast-666-forehead-used-mirror-came-backwards.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3044092/Idiot-prisoner-tried-carve-sign-beast-666-forehead-used-mirror-came-backwards.html)

 happy001 happy001 happy001

As for the mental health attempt, if it is successful simply lock him away for life in a secure institution.  :thumbsup:

 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Steve on April 18, 2015, 09:05:19 AM
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3044092/Idiot-prisoner-tried-carve-sign-beast-666-forehead-used-mirror-came-backwards.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3044092/Idiot-prisoner-tried-carve-sign-beast-666-forehead-used-mirror-came-backwards.html)

 happy001 happy001 happy001

As for the mental health attempt, if it is successful simply lock him away for life in a secure institution.  :thumbsup:

 :thumbsup:
:thumbsup: :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on April 22, 2015, 11:57:11 PM
You steal £15k from your employers and end up making yourself look like a bargain basement drag queen..  noooo:

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.dailymail.co.uk%2Fi%2Fpix%2F2015%2F04%2F22%2F18%2F27DB66BD00000578-3050197-image-a-2_1429722757557.jpg&hash=6d8249b8f72813238276472a6a38d0faa3e37bd8)

Quote
Mr Lody said: 'She began working for the company in March 2012 and it wasn't long before she started stealing from her employer. Perhaps she didn't realise how tightly financial systems are controlled.'

Stuart Newsam, for Farier, said: 'This offending is out of character. She didn't consider the consequences of her actions and thoroughly regrets now what she did.'

So are you saying that if the financial systems weren't as tightly controlled it would have been okay to steal the cash?  noooo:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3050197/Greedy-cashier-stole-15-000-bosses-blew-hotels-opulent-lifestyle-hands-dirty-rules-judge.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3050197/Greedy-cashier-stole-15-000-bosses-blew-hotels-opulent-lifestyle-hands-dirty-rules-judge.html)
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on April 23, 2015, 04:34:52 AM
You steal £15k from your employers and end up making yourself look like a bargain basement drag queen..  noooo:

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.dailymail.co.uk%2Fi%2Fpix%2F2015%2F04%2F22%2F18%2F27DB66BD00000578-3050197-image-a-2_1429722757557.jpg&hash=6d8249b8f72813238276472a6a38d0faa3e37bd8)

Quote
Mr Lody said: 'She began working for the company in March 2012 and it wasn't long before she started stealing from her employer. Perhaps she didn't realise how tightly financial systems are controlled.'

Stuart Newsam, for Farier, said: 'This offending is out of character. She didn't consider the consequences of her actions and thoroughly regrets now what she did.'

So are you saying that if the financial systems weren't as tightly controlled it would have been okay to steal the cash?  noooo:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3050197/Greedy-cashier-stole-15-000-bosses-blew-hotels-opulent-lifestyle-hands-dirty-rules-judge.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3050197/Greedy-cashier-stole-15-000-bosses-blew-hotels-opulent-lifestyle-hands-dirty-rules-judge.html)

Quote
...and thoroughly regrets getting caught....

::)
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 16, 2015, 05:05:19 PM
And here we see how not to steal a cash machine...

http://www.express.co.uk/news/world/577286/Queensland-failed-ATM-theft-bungling-criminal-hilarious-video (http://www.express.co.uk/news/world/577286/Queensland-failed-ATM-theft-bungling-criminal-hilarious-video)
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: apc2010 on May 23, 2015, 12:10:49 PM
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3093880/Bungling-thief-caught-shoplifting-100-goods-Tesco-wearing-Manchester-United-shirt-back.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3093880/Bungling-thief-caught-shoplifting-100-goods-Tesco-wearing-Manchester-United-shirt-back.html)

 noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Steve on May 25, 2015, 01:39:31 PM
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3093880/Bungling-thief-caught-shoplifting-100-goods-Tesco-wearing-Manchester-United-shirt-back.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3093880/Bungling-thief-caught-shoplifting-100-goods-Tesco-wearing-Manchester-United-shirt-back.html)

 noooo:
happy001

even the best teams get the occasional fuckwit supporter  [/tempts fate mode]
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on June 03, 2015, 09:12:45 AM
Stealing your solicitor's smartphone when you are in court, how bleedin' dumb can you get...  noooo:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3107868/Man-stole-barrister-s-300-smartphone-appearance-magistrates-court.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3107868/Man-stole-barrister-s-300-smartphone-appearance-magistrates-court.html)
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: apc2010 on June 03, 2015, 10:06:08 AM
Stealing your solicitor's smartphone when you are in court, how bleedin' dumb can you get...  noooo:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3107868/Man-stole-barrister-s-300-smartphone-appearance-magistrates-court.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3107868/Man-stole-barrister-s-300-smartphone-appearance-magistrates-court.html)

 noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: apc2010 on June 03, 2015, 12:16:45 PM
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3109088/World-s-worst-drug-smuggler-caught-trying-bring-2million-cocaine-Mexico-without-bothering-disguise-it.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3109088/World-s-worst-drug-smuggler-caught-trying-bring-2million-cocaine-Mexico-without-bothering-disguise-it.html)

 noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on June 03, 2015, 12:30:24 PM
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3109088/World-s-worst-drug-smuggler-caught-trying-bring-2million-cocaine-Mexico-without-bothering-disguise-it.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3109088/World-s-worst-drug-smuggler-caught-trying-bring-2million-cocaine-Mexico-without-bothering-disguise-it.html)

 noooo:

Something strange about that....  rubschin:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: apc2010 on June 03, 2015, 12:31:30 PM
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3109088/World-s-worst-drug-smuggler-caught-trying-bring-2million-cocaine-Mexico-without-bothering-disguise-it.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3109088/World-s-worst-drug-smuggler-caught-trying-bring-2million-cocaine-Mexico-without-bothering-disguise-it.html)

 noooo:

Something strange about that....  rubschin:

A decoy........ rubschin:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Steve on June 03, 2015, 02:57:48 PM
A complete idiot more like. Almost Darwinian
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on June 03, 2015, 03:09:52 PM
A complete idiot more like. Almost Darwinian

Well, it is probably fair to say that the boy didn't produce it himself...

...so there was either a mahoosive cock-up (bribe not paid, shift changed, bag monkey 'lost' the wrong cases)...

...or they are producing so much of the stuff that they can afford to pack loads of mules off to the airport with cases of it in the expectation that some of them will get through...
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on June 20, 2015, 04:56:46 PM
Break into a restaurant and accidentally lock yourself in the freezer, despite the fact that the walk in ones are designed to be opened from the inside to prevent that happening.  noooo:

I'm sure that when I was younger we had a better (or at least more intelligent) class of burglar.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3132594/Burglars-nearly-freeze-death-locking-inside-walk-freezer-raid-Chinese-restaurant-rescued-police.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3132594/Burglars-nearly-freeze-death-locking-inside-walk-freezer-raid-Chinese-restaurant-rescued-police.html)

Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: apc2010 on June 20, 2015, 08:42:47 PM
Break into a restaurant and accidentally lock yourself in the freezer, despite the fact that the walk in ones are designed to be opened from the inside to prevent that happening.  noooo:

I'm sure that when I was younger we had a better (or at least more intelligent) class of burglar.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3132594/Burglars-nearly-freeze-death-locking-inside-walk-freezer-raid-Chinese-restaurant-rescued-police.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3132594/Burglars-nearly-freeze-death-locking-inside-walk-freezer-raid-Chinese-restaurant-rescued-police.html)

We were..........
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Miss Creant on June 21, 2015, 01:07:22 PM
You steal £15k from your employers and end up making yourself look like a bargain basement drag queen..  noooo:

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.dailymail.co.uk%2Fi%2Fpix%2F2015%2F04%2F22%2F18%2F27DB66BD00000578-3050197-image-a-2_1429722757557.jpg&hash=6d8249b8f72813238276472a6a38d0faa3e37bd8)

Quote
Mr Lody said: 'She began working for the company in March 2012 and it wasn't long before she started stealing from her employer. Perhaps she didn't realise how tightly financial systems are controlled.'

Stuart Newsam, for Farier, said: 'This offending is out of character. She didn't consider the consequences of her actions and thoroughly regrets now what she did.'

So are you saying that if the financial systems weren't as tightly controlled it would have been okay to steal the cash?  noooo:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3050197/Greedy-cashier-stole-15-000-bosses-blew-hotels-opulent-lifestyle-hands-dirty-rules-judge.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3050197/Greedy-cashier-stole-15-000-bosses-blew-hotels-opulent-lifestyle-hands-dirty-rules-judge.html)

Quote
...and thoroughly regrets getting caught....

::)

I have to admit to giving the VP collection box a brief shake occasionally, it's empty, it never rustles of clinks.  When I plucked up enough courage to shove my hands down the back of the sofas in here all I came away with were stale crisp crumbs under me nails, well, I think they were crisp crumbs.............., rubschin:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Nick on June 21, 2015, 01:12:53 PM
It's what you do if you are callled SHanice  noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: boogs on June 21, 2015, 04:21:24 PM
You steal £15k from your employers and end up making yourself look like a bargain basement drag queen..  noooo:

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.dailymail.co.uk%2Fi%2Fpix%2F2015%2F04%2F22%2F18%2F27DB66BD00000578-3050197-image-a-2_1429722757557.jpg&hash=6d8249b8f72813238276472a6a38d0faa3e37bd8)

Quote
Mr Lody said: 'She began working for the company in March 2012 and it wasn't long before she started stealing from her employer. Perhaps she didn't realise how tightly financial systems are controlled.'

Stuart Newsam, for Farier, said: 'This offending is out of character. She didn't consider the consequences of her actions and thoroughly regrets now what she did.'

So are you saying that if the financial systems weren't as tightly controlled it would have been okay to steal the cash?  noooo:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3050197/Greedy-cashier-stole-15-000-bosses-blew-hotels-opulent-lifestyle-hands-dirty-rules-judge.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3050197/Greedy-cashier-stole-15-000-bosses-blew-hotels-opulent-lifestyle-hands-dirty-rules-judge.html)

Quote
...and thoroughly regrets getting caught....

::)

I have to admit to giving the VP collection box a brief shake occasionally, it's empty, it never rustles of clinks.  When I plucked up enough courage to shove my hands down the back of the sofas in here all I came away with were stale crisp crumbs under me nails, well, I think they were crisp crumbs.............., rubschin:

 sick2: sick2: Oh dear Miss C please be careful to sanitise your hands , saw Nick with his leg up on the sofa by the fireplace the other day  noooo: scared2: scared2:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: apc2010 on July 15, 2015, 07:56:16 PM
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3162636/Bungling-robber-tried-disguise-putting-Londis-plastic-carrier-bag-head-left-large-slit-people-through.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3162636/Bungling-robber-tried-disguise-putting-Londis-plastic-carrier-bag-head-left-large-slit-people-through.html)

 noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on July 15, 2015, 09:05:37 PM
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3162636/Bungling-robber-tried-disguise-putting-Londis-plastic-carrier-bag-head-left-large-slit-people-through.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3162636/Bungling-robber-tried-disguise-putting-Londis-plastic-carrier-bag-head-left-large-slit-people-through.html)

 noooo:

facepalm:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on July 16, 2015, 08:08:16 PM
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3162636/Bungling-robber-tried-disguise-putting-Londis-plastic-carrier-bag-head-left-large-slit-people-through.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3162636/Bungling-robber-tried-disguise-putting-Londis-plastic-carrier-bag-head-left-large-slit-people-through.html)

 noooo:

facepalm:

It's a great pity that Darwin let this one slip through and he remembered to add the slit...  noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on September 17, 2015, 05:37:36 PM
That van belongs to the bastard that sacked me, I'm going to torch it..............oops forgot I was wearing flammable clothing.  noooo:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3238763/CCTV-footage-shows-moment-drunk-arsonist-set-fire-tried-torch-Transit-van-revenge-attack-former-boss.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3238763/CCTV-footage-shows-moment-drunk-arsonist-set-fire-tried-torch-Transit-van-revenge-attack-former-boss.html)
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on October 05, 2015, 10:23:33 PM
I guess you could say that these two thieves really do have shit for brains..  lol:

http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/609998/Crediton-Devon-rug-poo-sewage-youths (http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/609998/Crediton-Devon-rug-poo-sewage-youths)
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Steve on October 05, 2015, 10:37:01 PM
I guess you could say that these two thieves really do have shit for brains..  lol:

http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/609998/Crediton-Devon-rug-poo-sewage-youths (http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/609998/Crediton-Devon-rug-poo-sewage-youths)
facepalm:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on October 05, 2015, 11:36:34 PM
I guess you could say that these two thieves really do have shit for brains..  lol:

http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/609998/Crediton-Devon-rug-poo-sewage-youths (http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/609998/Crediton-Devon-rug-poo-sewage-youths)
facepalm:

I could have said they were shit out of luck instead...  redface:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on October 09, 2015, 12:04:11 AM
The standard of criminals in this country has really gone downhill over the years. This moron is going to have to wok harder...  noooo:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3265114/Wok-d-one-Hapless-crook-attempts-rob-Chinese-takeaway-smashed-face-frying-pan.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3265114/Wok-d-one-Hapless-crook-attempts-rob-Chinese-takeaway-smashed-face-frying-pan.html)
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on October 09, 2015, 05:41:51 AM
The standard of criminals in this country has really gone downhill over the years. This moron is going to have to wok harder...  noooo:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3265114/Wok-d-one-Hapless-crook-attempts-rob-Chinese-takeaway-smashed-face-frying-pan.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3265114/Wok-d-one-Hapless-crook-attempts-rob-Chinese-takeaway-smashed-face-frying-pan.html)

Excerent!  razz:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Steve on October 09, 2015, 11:35:51 AM
The standard of criminals in this country has really gone downhill over the years. This moron is going to have to wok harder...  noooo:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3265114/Wok-d-one-Hapless-crook-attempts-rob-Chinese-takeaway-smashed-face-frying-pan.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3265114/Wok-d-one-Hapless-crook-attempts-rob-Chinese-takeaway-smashed-face-frying-pan.html)

Excerent!  razz:
;D ;D ;D

Shame though that the women got injured, he should have got another 4 years for that
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: apc2010 on November 24, 2015, 08:51:56 PM
If media reports are correct...who the Fvck tries to carry out an armed bank robbery in Northern France near the Belguim border,,,,,,,, noooo:

Darwin at work...
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on November 24, 2015, 09:02:52 PM
If media reports are correct...who the Fvck tries to carry out an armed bank robbery in Northern France near the Belguim border,,,,,,,, noooo:

Darwin at work...

 noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on April 30, 2016, 12:38:45 AM
I know I said at the start of this thread that the criminals in question may as well just walk into the nearest police station but I didn't mean it as an instruction...  noooo:

Walking into a station and asking the police to check the purity of your cocaine, obviously we are dealing with a Mensa candidate here...  lol:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3565964/Woman-arrested-France-asked-police-officers-check-purity-cocaine-didn-t-want-people-die-overdose.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3565964/Woman-arrested-France-asked-police-officers-check-purity-cocaine-didn-t-want-people-die-overdose.html)
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Steve on April 30, 2016, 08:57:49 AM
I know I said at the start of this thread that the criminals in question may as well just walk into the nearest police station but I didn't mean it as an instruction...  noooo:

Walking into a station and asking the police to check the purity of your cocaine, obviously we are dealing with a Mensa candidate here...  lol:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3565964/Woman-arrested-France-asked-police-officers-check-purity-cocaine-didn-t-want-people-die-overdose.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3565964/Woman-arrested-France-asked-police-officers-check-purity-cocaine-didn-t-want-people-die-overdose.html)
lol:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on April 30, 2016, 09:16:57 AM
I know I said at the start of this thread that the criminals in question may as well just walk into the nearest police station but I didn't mean it as an instruction...  noooo:

Walking into a station and asking the police to check the purity of your cocaine, obviously we are dealing with a Mensa candidate here...  lol:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3565964/Woman-arrested-France-asked-police-officers-check-purity-cocaine-didn-t-want-people-die-overdose.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3565964/Woman-arrested-France-asked-police-officers-check-purity-cocaine-didn-t-want-people-die-overdose.html)
lol:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: apc2010 on April 30, 2016, 10:58:12 AM
I know I said at the start of this thread that the criminals in question may as well just walk into the nearest police station but I didn't mean it as an instruction...  noooo:

Walking into a station and asking the police to check the purity of your cocaine, obviously we are dealing with a Mensa candidate here...  lol:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3565964/Woman-arrested-France-asked-police-officers-check-purity-cocaine-didn-t-want-people-die-overdose.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3565964/Woman-arrested-France-asked-police-officers-check-purity-cocaine-didn-t-want-people-die-overdose.html)
lol:

 lol: lol: lol:

 noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on June 03, 2016, 12:11:44 AM
Beer fridge 1, clueless cretins 0  lol:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3621876/CCTV-captures-moment-thirsty-thief-flattened-large-beer-fridge-crashes-tries-break-open.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3621876/CCTV-captures-moment-thirsty-thief-flattened-large-beer-fridge-crashes-tries-break-open.html)
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on June 03, 2016, 07:29:40 AM
Beer fridge 1, clueless cretins 0  lol:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3621876/CCTV-captures-moment-thirsty-thief-flattened-large-beer-fridge-crashes-tries-break-open.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3621876/CCTV-captures-moment-thirsty-thief-flattened-large-beer-fridge-crashes-tries-break-open.html)

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Steve on June 03, 2016, 10:36:48 AM
Beer fridge 1, clueless cretins 0  lol:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3621876/CCTV-captures-moment-thirsty-thief-flattened-large-beer-fridge-crashes-tries-break-open.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3621876/CCTV-captures-moment-thirsty-thief-flattened-large-beer-fridge-crashes-tries-break-open.html)

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol:  only 2 because the bastard walked away
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on June 03, 2016, 10:47:35 AM
Beer fridge 1, clueless cretins 0  lol:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3621876/CCTV-captures-moment-thirsty-thief-flattened-large-beer-fridge-crashes-tries-break-open.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3621876/CCTV-captures-moment-thirsty-thief-flattened-large-beer-fridge-crashes-tries-break-open.html)

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol:  only 2 because the bastard walked away

I'm sure he lived to fail another day...  ;)
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on June 11, 2016, 01:58:11 PM
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3636336/Bungling-bicycle-thief-gets-lassoed-Robert-Borba-Oregon-Wal-Mart-car-park.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3636336/Bungling-bicycle-thief-gets-lassoed-Robert-Borba-Oregon-Wal-Mart-car-park.html)

 lol:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on June 11, 2016, 02:59:47 PM
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3636336/Bungling-bicycle-thief-gets-lassoed-Robert-Borba-Oregon-Wal-Mart-car-park.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3636336/Bungling-bicycle-thief-gets-lassoed-Robert-Borba-Oregon-Wal-Mart-car-park.html)

 lol:

Splendid!  ;D
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on June 11, 2016, 07:22:18 PM
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3636336/Bungling-bicycle-thief-gets-lassoed-Robert-Borba-Oregon-Wal-Mart-car-park.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3636336/Bungling-bicycle-thief-gets-lassoed-Robert-Borba-Oregon-Wal-Mart-car-park.html)

 lol:

Splendid!  ;D
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Steve on June 11, 2016, 07:28:35 PM
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3636336/Bungling-bicycle-thief-gets-lassoed-Robert-Borba-Oregon-Wal-Mart-car-park.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3636336/Bungling-bicycle-thief-gets-lassoed-Robert-Borba-Oregon-Wal-Mart-car-park.html)

 lol:

Splendid!  ;D
lol: lol: lol:
:thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on September 24, 2017, 09:17:24 PM
It's a pity the driver wasn't going any faster.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4914822/Instant-karma-vandal-caught-smashing-shop-window.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4914822/Instant-karma-vandal-caught-smashing-shop-window.html)

There was a place in America where inmates had to wear neon pink jumpsuits, even when working in public, as an extra punishment. In this case I think the cretin needs something a little more tailored to his situation...

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.dailymail.co.uk%2Fi%2Fpix%2F2014%2F11%2F20%2F007D996D00000258-0-image-61_1416527678729.jpg&hash=6230d37220671b91d703e3d6acd59c25067c1a37)
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Steve on September 24, 2017, 09:34:11 PM
It's a pity the driver wasn't going any faster.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4914822/Instant-karma-vandal-caught-smashing-shop-window.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4914822/Instant-karma-vandal-caught-smashing-shop-window.html)

There was a place in America where inmates had to wear neon pink jumpsuits, even when working in public, as an extra punishment. In this case I think the cretin needs something a little more tailored to his situation...

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.dailymail.co.uk%2Fi%2Fpix%2F2014%2F11%2F20%2F007D996D00000258-0-image-61_1416527678729.jpg&hash=6230d37220671b91d703e3d6acd59c25067c1a37)
lol:

Shame he wasn't more injured
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on September 25, 2017, 05:08:47 AM
It's a pity the driver wasn't going any faster.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4914822/Instant-karma-vandal-caught-smashing-shop-window.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4914822/Instant-karma-vandal-caught-smashing-shop-window.html)

There was a place in America where inmates had to wear neon pink jumpsuits, even when working in public, as an extra punishment. In this case I think the cretin needs something a little more tailored to his situation...

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.dailymail.co.uk%2Fi%2Fpix%2F2014%2F11%2F20%2F007D996D00000258-0-image-61_1416527678729.jpg&hash=6230d37220671b91d703e3d6acd59c25067c1a37)

Little sod, it is a shame the window didn't fall down and cut his head off...  evil:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on November 13, 2017, 12:34:48 AM
If I didn't know better I'd suspect that Darwin had turned into some kind of caped crusader...  lol:

http://metro.co.uk/2017/11/12/suspect-accidentally-shoots-himself-in-penis-after-robbing-hot-dog-restaurant-7072551/ (http://metro.co.uk/2017/11/12/suspect-accidentally-shoots-himself-in-penis-after-robbing-hot-dog-restaurant-7072551/)
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on November 13, 2017, 12:07:52 PM
If I didn't know better I'd suspect that Darwin had turned into some kind of caped crusader...  lol:

http://metro.co.uk/2017/11/12/suspect-accidentally-shoots-himself-in-penis-after-robbing-hot-dog-restaurant-7072551/ (http://metro.co.uk/2017/11/12/suspect-accidentally-shoots-himself-in-penis-after-robbing-hot-dog-restaurant-7072551/)
A genuine robbery cock-up.  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on December 12, 2017, 09:06:34 AM
Why can't they all be this fucking stupid?  noooo:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5167305/Paedophile-caught-child-porn-Carphone-Warehouse.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5167305/Paedophile-caught-child-porn-Carphone-Warehouse.html)

Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on December 12, 2017, 09:09:43 AM
Why can't they all be this fucking stupid?  noooo:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5167305/Paedophile-caught-child-porn-Carphone-Warehouse.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5167305/Paedophile-caught-child-porn-Carphone-Warehouse.html)

FFS! facepalm:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on December 23, 2017, 06:46:42 PM
Another possible Mensa candidate who couldnt tell the difference between a taxi and a police car...  lol:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5208311/Drug-dealer-1-000-cannabis-mistakes-cop-car-taxi.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5208311/Drug-dealer-1-000-cannabis-mistakes-cop-car-taxi.html)
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on December 23, 2017, 07:17:52 PM
Another possible Mensa candidate who couldnt tell the difference between a taxi and a police car...  lol:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5208311/Drug-dealer-1-000-cannabis-mistakes-cop-car-taxi.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5208311/Drug-dealer-1-000-cannabis-mistakes-cop-car-taxi.html)

happy001
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on December 30, 2017, 09:30:41 PM
Here's a late Christmas present for Apey, you could probably get an entire routine out of this dickhead.  lol:

http://metro.co.uk/2017/12/29/guy-gets-penis-stuck-jumping-tube-station-barriers-7191042/ (http://metro.co.uk/2017/12/29/guy-gets-penis-stuck-jumping-tube-station-barriers-7191042/)

I'll hazard a guess that his prison nickname will be cockblock  lol:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on December 31, 2017, 07:56:42 AM
Here's a late Christmas present for Apey, you could probably get an entire routine out of this dickhead.  lol:

http://metro.co.uk/2017/12/29/guy-gets-penis-stuck-jumping-tube-station-barriers-7191042/ (http://metro.co.uk/2017/12/29/guy-gets-penis-stuck-jumping-tube-station-barriers-7191042/)

I'll hazard a guess that his prison nickname will be cockblock  lol:

happy001
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on January 10, 2018, 06:55:03 AM
Something tells me this arsehole is hopping mad for making such a stupid mistake...  redface:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5252171/Son-32-shoots-foot-crossbow.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5252171/Son-32-shoots-foot-crossbow.html)
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on January 10, 2018, 06:57:21 AM
Something tells me this arsehole is hopping mad for making such a stupid mistake...  redface:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5252171/Son-32-shoots-foot-crossbow.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5252171/Son-32-shoots-foot-crossbow.html)

Good grief...  noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on January 11, 2018, 09:50:25 PM
I guess you fell out of the stupid bastard tree and hit every branch on the way down...  lol:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5259789/Worlds-stupidest-armed-robber.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5259789/Worlds-stupidest-armed-robber.html)
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on January 12, 2018, 05:43:04 AM
I guess you fell out of the stupid bastard tree and hit every branch on the way down...  lol:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5259789/Worlds-stupidest-armed-robber.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5259789/Worlds-stupidest-armed-robber.html)

 lol: lol: lol:

What a pathetic little piece of shit - threatening the girls with a gun then begging to be let out...  noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Steve on January 12, 2018, 11:18:50 AM
I guess you fell out of the stupid bastard tree and hit every branch on the way down...  lol:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5259789/Worlds-stupidest-armed-robber.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5259789/Worlds-stupidest-armed-robber.html)

 lol: lol: lol:

What a pathetic little piece of shit - threatening the girls with a gun then begging to be let out...  noooo:
Thumbs:

and  lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on December 18, 2018, 05:02:10 AM
Another criminal genius, this one had the really bright idea of trying to pay for his McDonalds with marijuana  noooo:

https://metro.co.uk/2018/12/17/man-arrested-trying-pay-mcdonalds-meal-weed-8258628/
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on December 18, 2018, 06:10:42 AM
Another criminal genius, this one had the really bright idea of trying to pay for his McDonalds with marijuana  noooo:

https://metro.co.uk/2018/12/17/man-arrested-trying-pay-mcdonalds-meal-weed-8258628/

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on December 18, 2018, 04:14:55 PM
Apey would have a field day with this mook...  noooo:

https://metro.co.uk/2018/12/14/man-queued-15-minutes-rob-bank-using-bottle-febreze-8246767/
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on January 27, 2019, 09:55:37 PM
Stows away on to a lorry in order to sneak into the country and promptly walks into an open prison by mistake...  happy001


Well he's a considerate idiot

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6636963/Migrant-sneaked-Britain-arrested-just-hours-later-wandering-PRISON-mistake.html (https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6636963/Migrant-sneaked-Britain-arrested-just-hours-later-wandering-PRISON-mistake.html)
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on January 28, 2019, 05:51:34 AM
Stows away on to a lorry in order to sneak into the country and promptly walks into an open prison by mistake...  happy001


Well he's a considerate idiot

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6636963/Migrant-sneaked-Britain-arrested-just-hours-later-wandering-PRISON-mistake.html (https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6636963/Migrant-sneaked-Britain-arrested-just-hours-later-wandering-PRISON-mistake.html)

happy001
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Steve on January 28, 2019, 11:41:37 AM
Stows away on to a lorry in order to sneak into the country and promptly walks into an open prison by mistake...  happy001


Well he's a considerate idiot

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6636963/Migrant-sneaked-Britain-arrested-just-hours-later-wandering-PRISON-mistake.html (https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6636963/Migrant-sneaked-Britain-arrested-just-hours-later-wandering-PRISON-mistake.html)

happy001
happy001 happy001
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on February 23, 2019, 10:59:32 PM
A spoon full of sugar makes the bank balance go down...  redface:

https://metro.co.uk/2019/02/23/woman-calls-police-dealer-sold-sugar-instead-cocaine-8721830/
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Steve on February 24, 2019, 12:30:34 AM
A spoon full of sugar makes the bank balance go down...  redface:

https://metro.co.uk/2019/02/23/woman-calls-police-dealer-sold-sugar-instead-cocaine-8721830/
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on February 24, 2019, 06:13:27 AM
A spoon full of sugar makes the bank balance go down...  redface:

https://metro.co.uk/2019/02/23/woman-calls-police-dealer-sold-sugar-instead-cocaine-8721830/
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on February 24, 2019, 09:39:05 AM
A spoon full of sugar makes the bank balance go down...  redface:

https://metro.co.uk/2019/02/23/woman-calls-police-dealer-sold-sugar-instead-cocaine-8721830/
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on March 28, 2019, 01:02:49 PM
 noooo:

https://metro.co.uk/2019/03/27/british-man-tried-flee-australia-jet-ski-armed-crossbow-9034002/
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Steve on March 28, 2019, 01:53:18 PM
noooo:

https://metro.co.uk/2019/03/27/british-man-tried-flee-australia-jet-ski-armed-crossbow-9034002/
The amazing thing is he nearly made it
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on March 28, 2019, 02:26:56 PM
noooo:

https://metro.co.uk/2019/03/27/british-man-tried-flee-australia-jet-ski-armed-crossbow-9034002/
The amazing thing is he nearly made it

Given that a jetski would have sod all radar signature and not that much of a wake to spot I suspect that they just camped out the most likely places he would be heading for and waited.
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on March 28, 2019, 02:38:21 PM
noooo:

https://metro.co.uk/2019/03/27/british-man-tried-flee-australia-jet-ski-armed-crossbow-9034002/

 rubschin:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on March 28, 2019, 03:03:13 PM
noooo:

https://metro.co.uk/2019/03/27/british-man-tried-flee-australia-jet-ski-armed-crossbow-9034002/

 rubschin:

NEWSFLASH: Authorities intercept strange bugger wearing a bucket riding a pedalo and armed with a shotgun 20 miles off the coast of Cyprus....  noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on March 28, 2019, 03:12:11 PM
noooo:

https://metro.co.uk/2019/03/27/british-man-tried-flee-australia-jet-ski-armed-crossbow-9034002/

 rubschin:

NEWSFLASH: Authorities intercept strange bugger wearing a bucket riding a pedalo and armed with a shotgun 20 miles off the coast of Cyprus....  noooo:

 evil:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on March 28, 2019, 03:13:10 PM
noooo:

https://metro.co.uk/2019/03/27/british-man-tried-flee-australia-jet-ski-armed-crossbow-9034002/

 rubschin:

NEWSFLASH: Authorities intercept strange bugger wearing a bucket riding a pedalo and armed with a shotgun 20 miles off the coast of Cyprus....  noooo:

 evil:

Yeah, you are right, that was going too far...






5 miles off the coast would be more accurate.  whistle:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on March 28, 2019, 06:46:37 PM
Something tells me that there are going to be a lot of caught red handed jokes when this idiot gets picked up...

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6860883/Bungling-arsonist-flees-hands-fire-trying-burn-farm-building.html (https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6860883/Bungling-arsonist-flees-hands-fire-trying-burn-farm-building.html)
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Steve on March 28, 2019, 06:49:49 PM
Something tells me that there are going to be a lot of caught red handed jokes when this idiot gets picked up...

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6860883/Bungling-arsonist-flees-hands-fire-trying-burn-farm-building.html (https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6860883/Bungling-arsonist-flees-hands-fire-trying-burn-farm-building.html)
ruined his sex life with Madame Palm
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on March 29, 2019, 05:30:09 AM
Something tells me that there are going to be a lot of caught red handed jokes when this idiot gets picked up...

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6860883/Bungling-arsonist-flees-hands-fire-trying-burn-farm-building.html (https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6860883/Bungling-arsonist-flees-hands-fire-trying-burn-farm-building.html)
ruined his sex life with Madame Palm

And her five virgin daughters...
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Steve on March 29, 2019, 09:53:01 AM
 ;D
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 04, 2019, 08:36:22 PM
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6992257/University-student-drove-just-minutes-given-driving-ban-jailed-12-weeks.html (https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6992257/University-student-drove-just-minutes-given-driving-ban-jailed-12-weeks.html)

Fair play to the judge  lol:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Steve on May 04, 2019, 09:22:04 PM
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6992257/University-student-drove-just-minutes-given-driving-ban-jailed-12-weeks.html (https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6992257/University-student-drove-just-minutes-given-driving-ban-jailed-12-weeks.html)

Fair play to the judge  lol:
:thumbsup:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Steve on May 04, 2019, 09:24:28 PM
That jail for driving when banned should be the default

Instead we get this lunacy of a driver driving with 51 points on his licence

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-48160507 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-48160507)
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 11, 2019, 01:09:00 AM
Banging on the door of a police station asking for help having forgotten that you are a wanted man...  happy002

https://metro.co.uk/2019/05/10/joyrider-begged-help-police-station-forgetting-wanted-man-9489324/
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on May 11, 2019, 03:54:19 AM
Banging on the door of a police station asking for help having forgotten that you are a wanted man...  happy002

https://metro.co.uk/2019/05/10/joyrider-begged-help-police-station-forgetting-wanted-man-9489324/

happy001

Min you, that is about the only way they can catch wronguns these days... ::)
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Steve on May 11, 2019, 08:21:15 AM
Banging on the door of a police station asking for help having forgotten that you are a wanted man...  happy002

https://metro.co.uk/2019/05/10/joyrider-begged-help-police-station-forgetting-wanted-man-9489324/

happy001

Min you, that is about the only way they can catch wronguns these days... ::)
happy001 happy001 

he's safe, the CPS will eff it up
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on May 11, 2019, 08:45:44 AM
Banging on the door of a police station asking for help having forgotten that you are a wanted man...  happy002

https://metro.co.uk/2019/05/10/joyrider-begged-help-police-station-forgetting-wanted-man-9489324/

happy001

Min you, that is about the only way they can catch wronguns these days... ::)
happy001 happy001 

he's safe, the CPS will eff it up

Yup, unless he has typed something nasty on FaceArse he'll get away with it for sure...  sadsmiley30:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 29, 2019, 10:09:37 PM
Can't get any cocaine? Why not call 999 and complain to the police...  facepalm:

https://metro.co.uk/2019/05/29/man-calls-999-cant-get-gram-cocaine-9734890/
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Steve on May 30, 2019, 09:09:45 AM
Can't get any cocaine? Why not call 999 and complain to the police...  facepalm:

https://metro.co.uk/2019/05/29/man-calls-999-cant-get-gram-cocaine-9734890/
happy001
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on July 20, 2019, 05:16:07 PM
 noooo:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7268023/Arsonist-sets-fire-petrol-bombing-chip-shop-Yorkshire.html (https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7268023/Arsonist-sets-fire-petrol-bombing-chip-shop-Yorkshire.html)
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Steve on July 20, 2019, 05:26:06 PM
noooo:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7268023/Arsonist-sets-fire-petrol-bombing-chip-shop-Yorkshire.html (https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7268023/Arsonist-sets-fire-petrol-bombing-chip-shop-Yorkshire.html)
noooo:

Only 5 years for that?  That means with automatic remission he'll be fire bombing again in 30 months  evil:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on July 21, 2019, 05:23:23 AM
noooo:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7268023/Arsonist-sets-fire-petrol-bombing-chip-shop-Yorkshire.html (https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7268023/Arsonist-sets-fire-petrol-bombing-chip-shop-Yorkshire.html)

 noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: apc2010 on July 24, 2019, 12:32:30 AM
https://www.unilad.co.uk/news/van-carrying-270kg-of-drugs-worth-200m-crashes-into-parked-police-cars/?source=facebook (https://www.unilad.co.uk/news/van-carrying-270kg-of-drugs-worth-200m-crashes-into-parked-police-cars/?source=facebook)


 noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on July 24, 2019, 12:45:47 AM
https://www.unilad.co.uk/news/van-carrying-270kg-of-drugs-worth-200m-crashes-into-parked-police-cars/?source=facebook (https://www.unilad.co.uk/news/van-carrying-270kg-of-drugs-worth-200m-crashes-into-parked-police-cars/?source=facebook)


 noooo:

Well they do say that speed kills...  redface:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: apc2010 on July 24, 2019, 01:10:53 AM
https://www.unilad.co.uk/news/van-carrying-270kg-of-drugs-worth-200m-crashes-into-parked-police-cars/?source=facebook (https://www.unilad.co.uk/news/van-carrying-270kg-of-drugs-worth-200m-crashes-into-parked-police-cars/?source=facebook)


 noooo:

Well they do say that speed kills...  redface:


 drumroll: ;D ;D
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on July 24, 2019, 05:36:20 AM
https://www.unilad.co.uk/news/van-carrying-270kg-of-drugs-worth-200m-crashes-into-parked-police-cars/?source=facebook (https://www.unilad.co.uk/news/van-carrying-270kg-of-drugs-worth-200m-crashes-into-parked-police-cars/?source=facebook)


 noooo:

Well they do say that speed kills...  redface:


 drumroll: ;D ;D

 drumroll: drumroll:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Darwins Selection on July 24, 2019, 10:32:55 AM
https://www.unilad.co.uk/news/van-carrying-270kg-of-drugs-worth-200m-crashes-into-parked-police-cars/?source=facebook (https://www.unilad.co.uk/news/van-carrying-270kg-of-drugs-worth-200m-crashes-into-parked-police-cars/?source=facebook)


 noooo:

Well they do say that speed kills...  redface:


 drumroll: ;D ;D

 drumroll: drumroll:
drumroll: drumroll: drumroll:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Steve on July 24, 2019, 04:17:43 PM
https://www.unilad.co.uk/news/van-carrying-270kg-of-drugs-worth-200m-crashes-into-parked-police-cars/?source=facebook (https://www.unilad.co.uk/news/van-carrying-270kg-of-drugs-worth-200m-crashes-into-parked-police-cars/?source=facebook)


 noooo:

Well they do say that speed kills...  redface:


 drumroll: ;D ;D

 drumroll: drumroll:
drumroll: drumroll: drumroll:
  drumroll: drumroll: drumroll: drumroll:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on August 10, 2019, 12:22:58 AM
Go directly to Jail. Do not pass GO, do not collect £200  redface:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7343041/Tourists-charged-fraud-trying-pay-drinks-Magaluf-MONOPOLY-money.html
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Steve on August 10, 2019, 09:30:22 AM
Go directly to Jail. Do not pass GO, do not collect £200  redface:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7343041/Tourists-charged-fraud-trying-pay-drinks-Magaluf-MONOPOLY-money.html
lol: lol: lol:

and  noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on August 10, 2019, 02:28:49 PM
Go directly to Jail. Do not pass GO, do not collect £200  redface:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7343041/Tourists-charged-fraud-trying-pay-drinks-Magaluf-MONOPOLY-money.html
lol: lol: lol:

and  noooo:

 noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on October 24, 2019, 02:55:57 PM
TMJ's I don't even know where to begin  facepalm:

https://metro.co.uk/2019/10/24/learner-driver-arrested-turning-driving-test-stolen-car-10973415/
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on October 24, 2019, 03:00:34 PM
TMJ's I don't even know where to begin  facepalm:

https://metro.co.uk/2019/10/24/learner-driver-arrested-turning-driving-test-stolen-car-10973415/

 noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Steve on October 24, 2019, 06:05:16 PM
TMJ's I don't even know where to begin  facepalm:

https://metro.co.uk/2019/10/24/learner-driver-arrested-turning-driving-test-stolen-car-10973415/

 noooo:
noooo: noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on October 29, 2019, 04:09:11 AM
Just a suggestion but if you are going to lie about your identity try not to have your true name tattooed on your throat...  point:

https://www.foxnews.com/us/illinois-man-neck-tattoo-false-id
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on October 29, 2019, 06:12:26 AM
Just a suggestion but if you are going to lie about your identity try not to have your true name tattooed on your throat...  point:

https://www.foxnews.com/us/illinois-man-neck-tattoo-false-id

happy001
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Steve on October 29, 2019, 04:36:44 PM
Just a suggestion but if you are going to lie about your identity try not to have your true name tattooed on your throat...  point:

https://www.foxnews.com/us/illinois-man-neck-tattoo-false-id

happy001
happy001 happy001
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on November 01, 2019, 04:56:56 PM
Another suggestion here, if you are committing a crime LIVE STREAMING IT ON YOUTUBE IS A FUCKING BAD IDEA!!!  happy002

https://nypost.com/2019/10/30/two-arrested-after-streaming-smuggling-attempt-on-facebook-live/

If only all criminals were so considerate
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Steve on November 01, 2019, 05:09:08 PM
Another suggestion here, if you are committing a crime LIVE STREAMING IT ON YOUTUBE IS A FUCKING BAD IDEA!!!  happy002

https://nypost.com/2019/10/30/two-arrested-after-streaming-smuggling-attempt-on-facebook-live/

If only all criminals were so considerate
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on November 02, 2019, 05:17:19 AM
Another suggestion here, if you are committing a crime LIVE STREAMING IT ON YOUTUBE IS A FUCKING BAD IDEA!!!  happy002

https://nypost.com/2019/10/30/two-arrested-after-streaming-smuggling-attempt-on-facebook-live/

If only all criminals were so considerate

happy001
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on November 16, 2019, 06:18:00 PM
Hey I've had a great idea, let's bury our drug stash in the woods until we need to sell it. Nobody will find it...




.....pity about the wildlife, even more wild now they've gained a monkey on their back  lol:

God knows what a coked up boar would look like...  rubschin:

https://metro.co.uk/2019/11/15/wild-boars-snort-17000-cocaine-found-hidden-forest-11148611/
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: apc2010 on November 16, 2019, 06:26:42 PM
Hey I've had a great idea, let's bury our drug stash in the woods until we need to sell it. Nobody will find it...




.....pity about the wildlife, even more wild now they've gained a monkey on their back  lol:

God knows what a coked up boar would look like...  rubschin:

https://metro.co.uk/2019/11/15/wild-boars-snort-17000-cocaine-found-hidden-forest-11148611/

More a question of what a bear on a comedown is like ... eeek: eeek: eeek:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on January 01, 2020, 03:47:26 AM
A late entry to the Criminal Bellend of 2019 Awards...  happy002

Usually when someone decides to hide a gun down their trousers they choose a pistol and not an automatic rifle...  point:

https://metro.co.uk/2019/12/31/man-shoots-gun-hidden-trousers-bungled-bus-robbery-11982219/
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on January 01, 2020, 11:37:07 AM
A late entry to the Criminal Bellend of 2019 Awards...  happy002

Usually when someone decides to hide a gun down their trousers they choose a pistol and not an automatic rifle...  point:

https://metro.co.uk/2019/12/31/man-shoots-gun-hidden-trousers-bungled-bus-robbery-11982219/

happy001
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Steve on January 01, 2020, 01:04:38 PM
A late entry to the Criminal Bellend of 2019 Awards...  happy002

Usually when someone decides to hide a gun down their trousers they choose a pistol and not an automatic rifle...  point:

https://metro.co.uk/2019/12/31/man-shoots-gun-hidden-trousers-bungled-bus-robbery-11982219/

happy001
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on January 01, 2020, 01:30:38 PM
Bloody hell. missed another late entry in the Criminal Fuckwit of 2019 Awards.

Going shoplifting from a store running a special 'Shop with a Cop' event. This was only ever going to end one way...  lol:

https://metro.co.uk/2019/12/12/idiot-decided-go-shoplifting-shop-cop-event-crammed-police-officers-11847665/
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on January 01, 2020, 01:31:19 PM
Bloody hell. missed another late entry in the Criminal Fuckwit of 2019 Awards.

Going shoplifting from a store running a special 'Shop with a Cop' event. This was only ever going to end one way...  lol:

https://metro.co.uk/2019/12/12/idiot-decided-go-shoplifting-shop-cop-event-crammed-police-officers-11847665/

happy001
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Steve on January 01, 2020, 02:05:17 PM
Bloody hell. missed another late entry in the Criminal Fuckwit of 2019 Awards.

Going shoplifting from a store running a special 'Shop with a Cop' event. This was only ever going to end one way...  lol:

https://metro.co.uk/2019/12/12/idiot-decided-go-shoplifting-shop-cop-event-crammed-police-officers-11847665/

happy001
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on January 10, 2020, 07:12:44 PM
Bet they got a buzz out of the heist...  redface:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7873599/Four-robbers-stage-dangerous-raid-steal-single-sex-toy.html
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Steve on January 10, 2020, 07:57:56 PM
Bet they got a buzz out of the heist...  redface:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7873599/Four-robbers-stage-dangerous-raid-steal-single-sex-toy.html
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on January 10, 2020, 09:03:24 PM
Bet they got a buzz out of the heist...  redface:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7873599/Four-robbers-stage-dangerous-raid-steal-single-sex-toy.html

 drumroll:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on January 22, 2020, 12:50:53 PM
I know that advertising is important for growing your business but...  happy002

https://metro.co.uk/2020/01/21/drug-dealers-t-shirt-made-easy-catch-12097656/
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on January 22, 2020, 02:52:17 PM
I know that advertising is important for growing your business but...  happy002

https://metro.co.uk/2020/01/21/drug-dealers-t-shirt-made-easy-catch-12097656/

 noooo:

I had no idea what Naz and Scooby were...   redface:

Darkies eh...  evil:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: apc2010 on January 22, 2020, 09:48:10 PM
I know that advertising is important for growing your business but...  happy002

https://metro.co.uk/2020/01/21/drug-dealers-t-shirt-made-easy-catch-12097656/

 noooo:

I had no idea what Naz and Scooby were...   redface:

Darkies eh...  evil:

Not a scooby's ...... ;D
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on January 29, 2020, 11:52:28 AM
When you are on trial for drug possession it's generally considered poor etiquette to light up a spliff in front of the judge...  lol:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7939975/Bizarre-moment-Tennessee-man-court-lights-joint-judge.html
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on January 29, 2020, 12:21:05 PM
When you are on trial for drug possession it's generally considered poor etiquette to light up a spliff in front of the judge...  lol:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7939975/Bizarre-moment-Tennessee-man-court-lights-joint-judge.html

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Steve on January 29, 2020, 04:55:43 PM
When you are on trial for drug possession it's generally considered poor etiquette to light up a spliff in front of the judge...  lol:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7939975/Bizarre-moment-Tennessee-man-court-lights-joint-judge.html

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on February 21, 2020, 12:30:09 AM
Personally I'd add a charge of kerb crawling just to add insult to injury  lol:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8025843/A-high-slow-speed-getaway-Pennsylvania-man-68-leads-cops-20mph-chase-taking-marijuana.html
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on February 21, 2020, 05:06:33 AM
Personally I'd add a charge of kerb crawling just to add insult to injury  lol:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8025843/A-high-slow-speed-getaway-Pennsylvania-man-68-leads-cops-20mph-chase-taking-marijuana.html

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Steve on February 21, 2020, 10:03:51 AM
Personally I'd add a charge of kerb crawling just to add insult to injury  lol:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8025843/A-high-slow-speed-getaway-Pennsylvania-man-68-leads-cops-20mph-chase-taking-marijuana.html

 lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on March 25, 2020, 07:01:05 AM
Hats off to the owner  lol:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8149517/Stolen-car-cage-hapless-thief.html
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: apc2010 on March 25, 2020, 07:19:21 AM
Hats off to the owner  lol:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8149517/Stolen-car-cage-hapless-thief.html

There used to be a company that made these sort of security systems for cars ..it included filling the car with smoke ...a hidden "video" in car ....lock down car with film on windows so couldn't be broken ....but people would not pay for it ..but that was 25 years ago ...

The car lockdown with the smoke was impressive ...... Thumbs:  plus the alarm going off ... Thumbs:

It probally infringes some sort of Human rights now ....... noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Steve on March 26, 2020, 12:01:18 AM
Hats off to the owner  lol:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8149517/Stolen-car-cage-hapless-thief.html
:thumbsup:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 21, 2020, 07:21:40 PM
Decide to nick a van - check
Take photo of driving licence and add it to phone - check
Leave phone at scene of crime - check
Forget to have a lock set up on the phone allowing full access to everything contained within including Facebook page - check

(https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2020/05/21/16/28668704-8343967-The_tradesman_claimed_He_even_had_a_photo_of_his_driving_license-a-51_1590076354501.jpg)

I think it's safe to say you are a criminal monstermind lol:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-8343967/Man-gets-revenge-thief-tried-steal-van-hacking-Facebook-left-phone.html
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Steve on May 21, 2020, 10:03:16 PM
Decide to nick a van - check
Take photo of driving licence and add it to phone - check
Leave phone at scene of crime - check
Forget to have a lock set up on the phone allowing full access to everything contained within including Facebook page - check

(https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2020/05/21/16/28668704-8343967-The_tradesman_claimed_He_even_had_a_photo_of_his_driving_license-a-51_1590076354501.jpg)

I think it's safe to say you are a criminal monstermind lol:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-8343967/Man-gets-revenge-thief-tried-steal-van-hacking-Facebook-left-phone.html
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on May 22, 2020, 03:59:09 AM
Decide to nick a van - check
Take photo of driving licence and add it to phone - check
Leave phone at scene of crime - check
Forget to have a lock set up on the phone allowing full access to everything contained within including Facebook page - check

(https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2020/05/21/16/28668704-8343967-The_tradesman_claimed_He_even_had_a_photo_of_his_driving_license-a-51_1590076354501.jpg)

I think it's safe to say you are a criminal monstermind lol:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-8343967/Man-gets-revenge-thief-tried-steal-van-hacking-Facebook-left-phone.html
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 31, 2020, 06:06:09 PM
It's good to see Mr Darwin sir taking a hand in dealing with some of the rioters over the pond

https://districtherald.com/idiot-north-carolina-rioter-lights-himself-on-fire-while-attempting-to-burn-down-historic-building/

https://districtherald.com/watch-los-angeles-rioters-hilariously-roll-a-dumpster-over-one-of-their-own/
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: apc2010 on May 31, 2020, 07:44:37 PM
It's good to see Mr Darwin sir taking a hand in dealing with some of the rioters over the pond

https://districtherald.com/idiot-north-carolina-rioter-lights-himself-on-fire-while-attempting-to-burn-down-historic-building/

https://districtherald.com/watch-los-angeles-rioters-hilariously-roll-a-dumpster-over-one-of-their-own/

 Thumbs: Thumbs:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Steve on May 31, 2020, 08:17:44 PM
It's good to see Mr Darwin sir taking a hand in dealing with some of the rioters over the pond

https://districtherald.com/idiot-north-carolina-rioter-lights-himself-on-fire-while-attempting-to-burn-down-historic-building/

https://districtherald.com/watch-los-angeles-rioters-hilariously-roll-a-dumpster-over-one-of-their-own/

 Thumbs: Thumbs:
:thumbsup:

(why does the first link not work unless you copy it into a new tab?)
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on June 01, 2020, 08:19:37 AM
It's good to see Mr Darwin sir taking a hand in dealing with some of the rioters over the pond

https://districtherald.com/idiot-north-carolina-rioter-lights-himself-on-fire-while-attempting-to-burn-down-historic-building/

https://districtherald.com/watch-los-angeles-rioters-hilariously-roll-a-dumpster-over-one-of-their-own/


happy001
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on June 03, 2020, 05:59:12 PM
Unfortunately Apey has already been beaten to the obvious pun..  lol:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8384233/Bungling-crooks-blast-security-van-pieces-sending-money-flying-everywhere.html
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on June 04, 2020, 03:44:49 AM
Unfortunately Apey has already been beaten to the obvious pun..  lol:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8384233/Bungling-crooks-blast-security-van-pieces-sending-money-flying-everywhere.html

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on June 06, 2020, 02:45:07 PM
Here's more joke fodder for Apey but if anyone else fancies a go by all means give him a helping hand...  redface:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8393947/Man-amputates-hand-making-bomb-designed-blow-hot-cheerleaders.html
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Steve on June 06, 2020, 02:52:33 PM
Here's more joke fodder for Apey but if anyone else fancies a go by all means give him a helping hand...  redface:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8393947/Man-amputates-hand-making-bomb-designed-blow-hot-cheerleaders.html
eeek:   and 'helping hand'  lol:
 
What a complete loser, on the bright side for him he'll still be able to count up the number of hopes he has on his remaining fingers
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on June 12, 2020, 08:06:26 PM
I suppose you can say he was caught red handed...  redface:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8413711/Fraudster-sliced-HAND-6million-insurance-scam-jailed-two-years.html
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Steve on June 12, 2020, 09:11:56 PM
I suppose you can say he was caught red handed...  redface:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8413711/Fraudster-sliced-HAND-6million-insurance-scam-jailed-two-years.html
drumroll:

what a complete loser
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on September 12, 2020, 10:25:47 PM
Apey, as you are handy with puns this one is all yours  redface:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8724487/Woman-SAWED-hand-claim-700-000-insurance-fraud-jailed.html
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on October 15, 2020, 06:26:21 PM
I would make a comment but it's too easy a target... Apey, you're up  whistle:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8834557/Knick-Shoplifter-caught-supermarket-CCTV-stashing-groceries-underpants.html?ito=chromelessDM_0
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on October 16, 2020, 03:51:19 AM
I would make a comment but it's too easy a target... Apey, you're up  whistle:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8834557/Knick-Shoplifter-caught-supermarket-CCTV-stashing-groceries-underpants.html?ito=chromelessDM_0

 eeek:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Steve on October 16, 2020, 09:29:37 AM
I would make a comment but it's too easy a target... Apey, you're up  whistle:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8834557/Knick-Shoplifter-caught-supermarket-CCTV-stashing-groceries-underpants.html?ito=chromelessDM_0

 eeek:
eeek: eeek:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on October 21, 2020, 10:34:21 PM
If you are going to defraud the unemployment part of the CARES act it's probably a bad idea to make a music video bragging about it and posting it on Youtube.   facepalm:

https://youtu.be/QZKnNhCTmeA

https://abcnews.go.com/US/rapper-bragged-defrauding-government-music-video-arrested/story?id=73678566
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Steve on October 21, 2020, 10:42:47 PM
If you are going to defraud the unemployment part of the CARES act it's probably a bad idea to make a music video bragging about it and posting it on Youtube.   facepalm:

https://youtu.be/QZKnNhCTmeA

https://abcnews.go.com/US/rapper-bragged-defrauding-government-music-video-arrested/story?id=73678566
facepalm: facepalm:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on November 16, 2020, 11:26:48 AM
I'm sure that the first lesson in the dummies guide to being a thief is not to leave anything behind that has your name and address on it.  point:

https://news.sky.com/story/bungling-burglar-who-left-name-and-address-at-crime-scene-jailed-12104077
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on November 16, 2020, 11:57:42 AM
I'm sure that the first lesson in the dummies guide to being a thief is not to leave anything behind that has your name and address on it.  point:

https://news.sky.com/story/bungling-burglar-who-left-name-and-address-at-crime-scene-jailed-12104077

happy001

What a cunt...  noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Steve on November 16, 2020, 12:21:47 PM
I'm sure that the first lesson in the dummies guide to being a thief is not to leave anything behind that has your name and address on it.  point:

https://news.sky.com/story/bungling-burglar-who-left-name-and-address-at-crime-scene-jailed-12104077

happy001

What a cunt...  noooo:
happy001 happy001

But who's more stupid, him or the judge that thinks after only 2 years inside he won't go back to his life of thieving?
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Just One More on November 16, 2020, 07:01:48 PM
I'm sure that the first lesson in the dummies guide to being a thief is not to leave anything behind that has your name and address on it.  point:

https://news.sky.com/story/bungling-burglar-who-left-name-and-address-at-crime-scene-jailed-12104077

happy001

What a cunt...  noooo:
happy001 happy001

But who's more stupid, him or the judge that thinks after only 2 years inside he won't go back to his life of thieving?

"Don't tell him Pyke"
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on November 17, 2020, 11:43:26 PM
A police officer? Dooughnuts? No I can't believe it..  facepalm:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8957195/On-duty-police-officer-tried-buy-9-95-box-Krispy-Kreme-donuts-7p-Tesco.html
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Steve on November 17, 2020, 11:56:26 PM
A police officer? Dooughnuts? No I can't believe it..  facepalm:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8957195/On-duty-police-officer-tried-buy-9-95-box-Krispy-Kreme-donuts-7p-Tesco.html

Not just a git but a complete fool, supermarkets sussed that carrots wheeze years ago and they use CCTV + AI to spot sus moving customers
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on December 03, 2020, 09:39:17 AM
Karma is a wonderful thing  lol:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9011455/Police-catch-suspected-car-thief-fell-pit-cow-poo-trying-flee-officers.html
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on December 03, 2020, 01:23:33 PM
Karma is a wonderful thing  lol:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9011455/Police-catch-suspected-car-thief-fell-pit-cow-poo-trying-flee-officers.html

happy001
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on December 19, 2020, 11:58:44 AM
Karma strikes again...  :thumbsup:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9067933/Raider-gets-crushed-trying-steal-specialist-pallet.html

Hopefully it was serious.
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Nick on January 11, 2021, 03:39:48 PM
https://edition.cnn.com/2021/01/08/uk/unlucky-burglars-pocket-dial-gbr-scli-intl/index.html (https://edition.cnn.com/2021/01/08/uk/unlucky-burglars-pocket-dial-gbr-scli-intl/index.html)
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Steve on January 11, 2021, 04:51:00 PM
https://edition.cnn.com/2021/01/08/uk/unlucky-burglars-pocket-dial-gbr-scli-intl/index.html (https://edition.cnn.com/2021/01/08/uk/unlucky-burglars-pocket-dial-gbr-scli-intl/index.html)
happy002
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 01, 2021, 03:20:27 AM
I'm guessing he isn't a member of Mensa...  noooo:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9528981/Manchester-mobile-phone-thief-forced-hand-handset.html
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on May 01, 2021, 05:29:34 AM
I'm guessing he isn't a member of Mensa...  noooo:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9528981/Manchester-mobile-phone-thief-forced-hand-handset.html

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: apc2010 on May 03, 2021, 01:36:30 PM
https://www.bolde.com/florida-woman-blames-windy-day-blowing-cocaine-purse/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=Partner&utm_campaign=foo&fbclid=IwAR1PQhQJ_Ib24Wa-JtBw8rXJ9sKf55tDkvUbQVCP5eCKozEdGEmxPdV5df0


 noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on May 03, 2021, 01:40:21 PM
https://www.bolde.com/florida-woman-blames-windy-day-blowing-cocaine-purse/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=Partner&utm_campaign=foo&fbclid=IwAR1PQhQJ_Ib24Wa-JtBw8rXJ9sKf55tDkvUbQVCP5eCKozEdGEmxPdV5df0


 noooo:

happy001
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 12, 2021, 04:58:27 PM
And the moral of the story is that if you are going to appear in court via Zoom, check which name you are logged in under...  lol:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9569385/Michigan-judge-rips-fool-logged-virtual-court-appearance-Buttf-ker-3000.html

Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on May 30, 2021, 04:40:55 PM
https://www.foxnews.com/us/oregon-stolen-vehicle-crash-police

 noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on May 30, 2021, 04:43:12 PM
https://www.foxnews.com/us/oregon-stolen-vehicle-crash-police

 noooo:

happy001
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Steve on May 31, 2021, 12:16:51 PM
https://www.foxnews.com/us/oregon-stolen-vehicle-crash-police

 noooo:

happy001
lol: lol: lol:  result  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Steve on June 04, 2021, 05:06:48 PM
You've got £500k of coke in your car and what do you do?  Undertake a police car  lol: lol: lol:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-57358040
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on June 04, 2021, 05:18:24 PM
You've got £500k of coke in your car and what do you do?  Undertake a police car  lol: lol: lol:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-57358040

 lol: lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on August 10, 2021, 06:48:20 AM
Not even Nick or BM are this clumsy..  noooo:

https://www.minds.com/newsfeed/1271704359700271106?referrer=Grumpmeister
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on August 10, 2021, 07:01:27 AM
Not even Nick or BM are this clumsy..  noooo:

https://www.minds.com/newsfeed/1271704359700271106?referrer=Grumpmeister

happy001

She was going to hand it back to him too! facepalm:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on September 10, 2021, 02:44:57 AM
 facepalm:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9973223/Moment-bungling-robbers-FLIP-getaway-vehicle-try-steal-cash-machine.html
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Barman on September 10, 2021, 05:13:02 AM
facepalm:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9973223/Moment-bungling-robbers-FLIP-getaway-vehicle-try-steal-cash-machine.html

happy001 facepalm:
Title: Re: The all new Criminal Mongstermind thread
Post by: Grumpmeister on September 16, 2021, 11:19:20 AM
https://www.minds.com/newsfeed/1284938088400818177?referrer=Grumpmeister

 facepalm: