Disgusterous

Author Topic: Fresh from the Inbox  (Read 284297 times)

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Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4455 on: January 28, 2018, 07:35:59 AM »
In hope of reuniting a woman ‘who hasn’t got much money’ with her belongings

This happened yesterday in Highbury. The woman has been saving for over a year to get all her eleven kids an Arsenal top each; she’s been saving for over a year to do this, she’s done boot sales etc. just to get the money together. Anyway yesterday, it was quite mild, she washed all the tops and hung them out to blow dry. She only popped to the shop for five minutes and some dirty lowlife scum climbed over the fence and robbed all her pegs

Please keep your eye out, if you hear anything, please inbox me

(Substitute with team of your choice)  ;)
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4456 on: January 28, 2018, 09:37:24 AM »
In hope of reuniting a woman ‘who hasn’t got much money’ with her belongings

This happened yesterday in Highbury. The woman has been saving for over a year to get all her eleven kids an Arsenal top each; she’s been saving for over a year to do this, she’s done boot sales etc. just to get the money together. Anyway yesterday, it was quite mild, she washed all the tops and hung them out to blow dry. She only popped to the shop for five minutes and some dirty lowlife scum climbed over the fence and robbed all her pegs

Please keep your eye out, if you hear anything, please inbox me

(Substitute with team of your choice)  ;)
lol: lol: lol:
Well, whatever nevermind

Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4457 on: January 28, 2018, 01:43:21 PM »
For decades, two heroic Statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an Angel came down from Heaven.

"You've been such exemplary Statues," he announced to them. "That I'm going to give you a Special Gift...
"I'm going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes, in which you can do anything you want."
And with a clap of his hands, the Angel brought the two Statues to Life.

The two handsome figures approached each other a bit shyly, but soon dashed for the bushes, from where shortly there could be heard a good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches...
Fifteen miutes later, the two statues emerged from the bushes with wide grins on their faces.
"You still have fifteen more minutes," said the Angel, winking at them.
Grinning even more widely, the female statue turned to the male statue and said:
"F*cking Great..! Only this time you hold the Pigeon down and I'll Shit on it's Head.
Well, whatever nevermind

Online Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4458 on: January 29, 2018, 01:07:56 PM »
In hope of reuniting a woman ‘who hasn’t got much money’ with her belongings

This happened yesterday in Highbury. The woman has been saving for over a year to get all her eleven kids an Arsenal top each; she’s been saving for over a year to do this, she’s done boot sales etc. just to get the money together. Anyway yesterday, it was quite mild, she washed all the tops and hung them out to blow dry. She only popped to the shop for five minutes and some dirty lowlife scum climbed over the fence and robbed all her pegs

Please keep your eye out, if you hear anything, please inbox me

(Substitute with team of your choice)  ;)
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Online Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4459 on: January 29, 2018, 01:08:53 PM »
For decades, two heroic Statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an Angel came down from Heaven.

"You've been such exemplary Statues," he announced to them. "That I'm going to give you a Special Gift...
"I'm going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes, in which you can do anything you want."
And with a clap of his hands, the Angel brought the two Statues to Life.

The two handsome figures approached each other a bit shyly, but soon dashed for the bushes, from where shortly there could be heard a good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches...
Fifteen miutes later, the two statues emerged from the bushes with wide grins on their faces.
"You still have fifteen more minutes," said the Angel, winking at them.
Grinning even more widely, the female statue turned to the male statue and said:
"F*cking Great..! Only this time you hold the Pigeon down and I'll Shit on it's Head.

 lol: lol: lol:
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4460 on: February 07, 2018, 09:45:53 PM »
A bloke in front of me in the shop asked the assistant if he could swop a get well card for a bereavement card.

(I really must try this)  lol:  lol:  lol:
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4461 on: February 07, 2018, 10:20:03 PM »
A bloke in front of me in the shop asked the assistant if he could swop a get well card for a bereavement card.

(I really must try this)  lol:  lol:  lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
Well, whatever nevermind

Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4462 on: February 07, 2018, 11:30:24 PM »
A bloke in front of me in the shop asked the assistant if he could swop a get well card for a bereavement card.

(I really must try this)  lol:  lol:  lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
I mostly despair

Online Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4463 on: February 08, 2018, 06:13:22 AM »
A bloke in front of me in the shop asked the assistant if he could swop a get well card for a bereavement card.

(I really must try this)  lol:  lol:  lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline Tipsy Gipsy

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4464 on: February 08, 2018, 08:00:02 AM »
It's better than I ever even knew.  They say that the world was built for two.  Only worth living if somebody is loving you.  Baby now you do.

Offline apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4465 on: February 08, 2018, 09:54:55 AM »
A bloke in front of me in the shop asked the assistant if he could swop a get well card for a bereavement card.

(I really must try this)  lol:  lol:  lol:

 ;D ;D ;D ;D

Offline Nick

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Warning: May contain Skub
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Offline Steve

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Well, whatever nevermind

Offline Just One More

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LiFe - It's an "F" in lie