The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Nick on January 15, 2018, 03:38:06 PM

Title: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on January 15, 2018, 03:38:06 PM
Derby tomorrow. Could be interesting  rubschin:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby, or Alton, or maybe neither.....
Post by: Steve on January 15, 2018, 03:44:07 PM
Derby tomorrow. Could be interesting  rubschin:
Grand National the day after?
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby, or Alton, or maybe neither.....
Post by: Grumpmeister on January 15, 2018, 07:01:01 PM
Derby tomorrow. Could be interesting  rubschin:
Grand National the day after?

Something tells me it will be more demolition...  noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby, or Alton, or maybe neither.....
Post by: Steve on January 15, 2018, 08:33:52 PM
Derby tomorrow. Could be interesting  rubschin:
Grand National the day after?

Something tells me it will be more demolition...  noooo:

Or even Derby in the 'and Joan' sense
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby, or Alton, or maybe neither.....
Post by: Nick on January 16, 2018, 03:55:02 PM
Well, Alton can fvck off as they refuse to pay expenses  ::)  but Derby want me to go back and meet the VC  cloud9:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby, or Alton, or maybe neither.....
Post by: Barman on January 16, 2018, 04:04:41 PM
Well, Alton can fvck off as they refuse to pay expenses  ::)  but Derby want me to go back and meet the VC  cloud9:

And Miss I wants you to meet the VD! happy001
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby, or Alton, or maybe neither.....
Post by: Nick on January 16, 2018, 04:08:26 PM
 drumroll:


























 Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby, or Alton, or maybe neither.....
Post by: Steve on January 16, 2018, 04:08:56 PM
Well, Alton can fvck off as they refuse to pay expenses  ::)  but Derby want me to go back and meet the VC  cloud9:
:thumbsup:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby, or Alton, or maybe neither.....
Post by: Nick on January 16, 2018, 05:30:21 PM
I forgot to mention. My ultra low tech paper and Post It presentation was, of course, a triumph. Ironically, the woman I was meant to see as, clearly having forgotten my requirements, had somehow split her head open while trying to set up a computer projector for me and had been carted off to A&E for stitches. angel1
























 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby, or Alton, or maybe neither.....
Post by: Miss Demeanour on January 17, 2018, 10:52:21 AM
The odds that these things are merely accidents happening around you are decreasing !!!!
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby, or Alton, or maybe neither.....
Post by: Nick on January 17, 2018, 10:57:05 AM
 angel1
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby, or Alton, or maybe neither.....
Post by: Nick on January 22, 2018, 12:55:06 PM
A phone call: the wumman who can confirm me in my new job is still off work with concussion following the interview  facepalm:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby, or Alton, or maybe neither.....
Post by: Steve on January 22, 2018, 01:01:18 PM
A phone call: the wumman who can confirm me in my new job is still off work with concussion following the interview  facepalm:
happy001

How come I now have an earworm on “Only You” by Yazoo?    rubschin:

Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby, or Alton, or maybe neither.....
Post by: apc2010 on January 22, 2018, 01:45:44 PM
A phone call: the wumman who can confirm me in my new job is still off work with concussion following the interview  facepalm:

You hit her ........ eeek:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby, or Alton, or maybe neither.....
Post by: Nick on January 22, 2018, 01:48:01 PM
No, a projector stand fell on her head  noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby, or Alton, or maybe neither.....
Post by: Nick on January 22, 2018, 02:19:49 PM
Brief meeting with the headbanger on Wednesday afternoon  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby, or Alton, or maybe neither.....
Post by: apc2010 on January 22, 2018, 04:11:08 PM
Brief meeting with the headbanger on Wednesday afternoon  :thumbsup:

TMJs....... noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby, or Alton, or maybe neither.....
Post by: Nick on January 22, 2018, 04:12:47 PM
 facepalm:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby, or Alton, or maybe neither.....
Post by: Steve on January 22, 2018, 08:07:13 PM
Brief meeting with the headbanger on Wednesday afternoon  :thumbsup:

TMJs....... noooo:
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby, or Alton, or maybe neither.....
Post by: Nick on January 23, 2018, 07:07:35 PM
Ken, who I met last week, suggests we meet for a coffee "off site" before I meet the concussed woman tomorrow. I have agreed, as he is my new best friend, but fucking hell, everything at this place is clandestine  Banghead Banghead Banghead
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby, or Alton, or maybe neither.....
Post by: Miss Demeanour on January 23, 2018, 10:27:14 PM
Yep ....the workplace is a suitable environment to hold the  daily bitchfest events   evil:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby, or Alton, or maybe neither.....
Post by: Nick on January 25, 2018, 11:24:42 AM
So, Derby it is rubschin:

But not till Feb 12th, so if the London job comes through I will tell Derby to feck off  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby, or Alton, or maybe neither.....
Post by: Nick on January 25, 2018, 03:17:37 PM
London job can't afford me  sad24:, so Derby it is  scared2:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on January 25, 2018, 03:44:47 PM
London job can't afford me  sad24:, so Derby it is  scared2:
Shame as East Midlands trans Atlantic flights are somewhat rare but Mr Stew will be nearby
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on January 25, 2018, 03:47:08 PM
 cloud9:

Mr Stew luvs me  cloud9:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Barman on January 25, 2018, 03:51:11 PM
cloud9:

Mr Stew luvs me  cloud9:

He doesn't...  noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on January 25, 2018, 03:52:46 PM
Have you spoken to him? He said "Dadda," the other day  cloud9:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Darwins Selection on January 25, 2018, 04:27:56 PM
Have you spoken to him? He said "Dodo," the other day  cloud9:
whistle:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on January 25, 2018, 04:29:43 PM
 cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Barman on January 25, 2018, 04:30:43 PM
Have you spoken to him? He said "Dodo," the other day  cloud9:
whistle:

You spelt 'dildo' incorrectly....  whistle:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on January 25, 2018, 04:31:16 PM
Child  ::)
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby, or Alton, or maybe neither.....
Post by: Grumpmeister on January 26, 2018, 02:46:57 AM
London job can't afford me  sad24:, so Derby it is  scared2:

Insurance costs are a bugger these days...  noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on January 31, 2018, 04:14:54 PM
An e mail floods in. "On your first day you will need to present a report on marketing to the Department of Engineering. They are quite hostile, so be warned. You might want to get your head round the attached spreadsheets before the 12th as they are bound to ask lots of questions." scared2: scared2: scared2:
12 pages of incomprehensible figures are attached, though the general theme seems to be that I have to tell them they are fvcked  scared2: scared2:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Barman on January 31, 2018, 04:15:34 PM
An e mail floods in. "On your first day you will need to present a report on marketing to the Department of Engineering. They are quite hostile, so be warned. You might want to get your head round the attached spreadsheets before the 12th as they are bound to ask lots of questions." scared2: scared2: scared2:
12 pages of incomprehensible figures are attached, though the general theme seems to be that I have to tell them they are fvcked  scared2: scared2:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on January 31, 2018, 05:08:02 PM
An e mail floods in. "On your first day you will need to present a report on marketing to the Department of Engineering. They are quite hostile, so be warned. You might want to get your head round the attached spreadsheets before the 12th as they are bound to ask lots of questions." scared2: scared2: scared2:
12 pages of incomprehensible figures are attached, though the general theme seems to be that I have to tell them they are fvcked  scared2: scared2:
You could start by asking them who has audited the spreadsheet and when they look puzzled follow up with “you do know that spreadsheets are the most efficient mechanism in the world for generating incorrect analyses and unsupportable analysis software”
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Just One More on January 31, 2018, 05:25:01 PM
An e mail floods in. "On your first day you will need to present a report on marketing to the Department of Engineering. They are quite hostile, so be warned. You might want to get your head round the attached spreadsheets before the 12th as they are bound to ask lots of questions." scared2: scared2: scared2:
12 pages of incomprehensible figures are attached, though the general theme seems to be that I have to tell them they are fvcked  scared2: scared2:

Are they paying you to read the spreadsheets and prepare your report before "Day 1"  noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on January 31, 2018, 06:00:31 PM
What do you think? ::)
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Grumpmeister on February 01, 2018, 11:35:07 AM
Sacrificial lamb comes to mind. You are on a short term contract so presenting the findings to a very hostile department won't harm the permanent staff. Saw this happen a fair bit with some call centres.

If you have the chance start cramming whatever the latest incarnation of Six Sigma is. It should be harder for an engineering department to argue with you when it sounds like you are well versed in those quality and efficiency systems.  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on February 01, 2018, 02:07:48 PM
Sacrificial lamb comes to mind. You are on a short term contract so presenting the findings to a very hostile department won't harm the permanent staff. Saw this happen a fair bit with some call centres.

If you have the chance start cramming whatever the latest incarnation of Six Sigma is. It should be harder for an engineering department to argue with you when it sounds like you are well versed in those quality and efficiency systems.  :thumbsup:
:thumbsup:

Six Sigma is not what it was.  Suffered from the idiot purists that demanded everything had to be six sigma levels* and companies that invented perversions that watered it hopelessly down

Shame really



* they used to hate it when I asked stuff like this:  which is the most successful company in the world in terms of revenue and profit per employee:  Roger Federer.  And is his first serve % six sigma levels of error?  No.  So don’t make me make initial software coding errors per line the same either.
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Grumpmeister on February 02, 2018, 10:52:21 PM
I'm still more than a little narked that at one of the call centres I'd been working at the rest of the department had funding for six sigma training and I was left out despite having implemented 3 improvements that would have saved enough money to grant me black belt certification. Didn't realise at the time because I would ignore office politics and concentrate on getting the work done but looking back I should have seen the writing on the wall back then.  noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 04, 2018, 06:05:18 PM
Thinking about buying a new suit  rubschin:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Miss Demeanour on February 04, 2018, 08:29:46 PM
To go with the shirts like  :thumbsup:

Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 05, 2018, 07:58:22 AM
 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Miss Demeanour on February 05, 2018, 03:03:09 PM
Thinking about buying a new suit  rubschin:

We can be your virtual personal shopping assistants  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 05, 2018, 03:14:06 PM
I would end up dressed like Austin Powers  noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Miss Demeanour on February 05, 2018, 03:19:28 PM
Not at all  noooo:

(https://cdn.heavencostumes.com.au/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/s/m/smf-43409_flowerpot_men_sunflower_novelty_dress_up_costume_front_1.jpg)
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 05, 2018, 03:21:19 PM
That is the very costume I wore to a fancy dress party in 1977 eeek: eeek:

My girlfriend came to the same party as a bee  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 05, 2018, 04:10:44 PM
Anyhoo, been looking at their recruitment figures today...............

 facepalm:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Barman on February 06, 2018, 12:21:04 PM
That is the very costume I wore to a fancy dress party in 1977 eeek: eeek:

My girlfriend came to the same party as a Ben  :thumbsup:

 whistle:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 06, 2018, 12:22:23 PM
Child  ::)
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Barman on February 06, 2018, 12:26:46 PM
Child  ::)

Little Weed!  point:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 06, 2018, 12:29:43 PM
 cussing:

The young laydee was a very fit and utterly rampant ballet dancer  cloud9:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Barman on February 06, 2018, 12:33:17 PM
cussing:

The young laydee was a very fit and utterly rampant ballet dancer  cloud9:

I bet you made a lovely couple...  :thumbsup:


(https://s10.postimg.org/pkdessex1/billand_ben.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/pkdessex1/)
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 06, 2018, 12:34:44 PM
Is it time for my flobalob joke? rubschin:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Barman on February 06, 2018, 12:35:37 PM
Is it time for my flobalob joke? rubschin:

May as well... ::)
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 06, 2018, 12:39:48 PM
No, it wouldn't go down well............
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on February 06, 2018, 12:41:07 PM
No, it wouldn't go down well............
Sounds like it didn’t go up well either
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Grumpmeister on February 06, 2018, 06:34:05 PM
cussing:

The young laydee was a very fit and utterly rampant ballet dancer  cloud9:

(https://vice-images.vice.com/images/content-images-crops/2016/05/17/meet-the-drag-ballerina-whos-performed-in-iraq-and-afghanistan-body-image-1463504421-size_1000.jpg?output-quality=75&resize=1000:*)

 rubschin:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 06, 2018, 06:37:20 PM
Oh noes  eyes: eyes: eyes: eyes:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 09, 2018, 11:06:05 AM
Having had no communication from Derby whatsoever about where I have to go when I start on Monday, I contacted "HR".
They had no idea who I was  facepalm:
They made some calls and today I have had an e mail assuring me that "Ken" will be in touch today. I know for a fact that Ken is currently on holiday in Tenerife  noooo:
My start date would have been sooner, but they were moving my office to a different site and thought I could start once it had moved to avoid "upheaval".
The office move has been delayed. It will happen on Tuesday  Banghead Banghead
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on February 09, 2018, 11:45:29 AM
Having had no communication from Derby whatsoever about where I have to go when I start on Monday, I contacted "HR".
They had no idea who I was  facepalm:
They made some calls and today I have had an e mail assuring me that "Ken" will be in touch today. I know for a fact that Ken is currently on holiday in Tenerife  noooo:
My start date would have been sooner, but they were moving my office to a different site and thought I could start once it had moved to avoid "upheaval".
The office move has been delayed. It will happen on Tuesday  Banghead Banghead
This doesn’t bode well does it.  My last job started like that, never saw my boss for 2 weeks.  Still the money was good
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 09, 2018, 05:43:08 PM
Well, neither Ken nor anyone else has been in touch  ::)
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on February 09, 2018, 05:59:23 PM
Maybe they read your posts here
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 09, 2018, 06:00:36 PM
 scared2:

I have e mailed "HR" and told them I will be there at 8.30 on Monday  angel1
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: apc2010 on February 09, 2018, 06:09:47 PM
scared2:

I have e mailed "HR" and told them I will be there at 8.30 on Monday  angel1

The Queen ....... eeek:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 09, 2018, 06:13:06 PM
 ::)
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Grumpmeister on February 09, 2018, 10:13:20 PM
Having had no communication from Derby whatsoever about where I have to go when I start on Monday, I contacted "HR".
They had no idea who I was  facepalm:
They made some calls and today I have had an e mail assuring me that "Ken" will be in touch today. I know for a fact that Ken is currently on holiday in Tenerife  noooo:
My start date would have been sooner, but they were moving my office to a different site and thought I could start once it had moved to avoid "upheaval".
The office move has been delayed. It will happen on Tuesday  Banghead Banghead

Just to make certain, you have gone to the right place haven't you...  rubschin:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 11, 2018, 05:35:36 PM
 ::)

Alarm clock set to 6 a.m. for the rest of the week  sad24:

This full time werk mullarkey is a bit overrated, especially if you have to commute rather than live in a hotel and have all your food cooked for you, like  noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Grumpmeister on February 11, 2018, 06:17:42 PM
::)

Alarm clock set to 6 a.m. for the rest of the week  sad24:

This full time werk mullarkey is a bit overrated, especially if you have to commute rather than live in a hotel and have all your food cooked for you, like  noooo:

Welcome to the real world...  whistle:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 11, 2018, 06:19:14 PM
 sad32: sad32:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Tipsy Gipsy on February 12, 2018, 08:49:58 AM
::)

Alarm clock set to 6 a.m. for the rest of the week  sad24:

This full time werk mullarkey is a bit overrated, especially if you have to commute rather than live in a hotel and have all your food cooked for you, like  noooo:

Good luck.   angel1   
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Miss Demeanour on February 12, 2018, 08:58:34 AM
::)

Alarm clock set to 6 a.m. for the rest of the week  sad24:

This full time werk mullarkey is a bit overrated, especially if you have to commute rather than live in a hotel and have all your food cooked for you, like  noooo:

Welcome to the real world...  whistle:

 happ096
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: apc2010 on February 12, 2018, 03:08:56 PM
::)

Alarm clock set to 6 a.m. for the rest of the week  sad24:

This full time werk mullarkey is a bit overrated, especially if you have to commute rather than live in a hotel and have all your food cooked for you, like  noooo:

Alarm clock........ rubschin:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Barman on February 12, 2018, 03:11:28 PM
::)

Alarm clock set to 6 a.m. for the rest of the week  sad24:

This full time werk mullarkey is a bit overrated, especially if you have to commute rather than live in a hotel and have all your food cooked for you, like  noooo:

Alarm clock........ rubschin:

Shrugs:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 12, 2018, 05:38:00 PM
Feck moi. Whirlwind day, three meetings  eeek:

Staff of about 40 of whom 35 are totty young ladies.
 NickSick NickSick
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on February 12, 2018, 06:23:56 PM
Feck moi. Whirlwind day, three meetings  eeek:

Staff of about 40 of whom 35 are totty young ladies.
 NickSick NickSick
:thumbsup:  a ready made herd for you to service then
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 12, 2018, 06:29:31 PM
It's insane

Loads of names to learn, two campuses to navigate (lost my own office today!), have to go in Saturday for 4 hours (but time and a half off in lieu), THREE one hour meetings today with professors with personality disorders, no time for lunch..........or even more than one coffee.

Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on February 12, 2018, 06:32:04 PM
It's insane

Loads of names to learn, two campuses to navigate (lost my own office today!), have to go in Saturday for 4 hours (but time and a half off in lieu), THREE one hour meetings today with professors with personality disorders, no time for lunch..........or even more than one coffee.
You'll love it

How is the commute?
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 12, 2018, 06:36:50 PM
40 minutes if I leave at 7.20. May go earlier and leave earlier  angel1
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 12, 2018, 06:49:22 PM
Meeting this chappy tomorrow!! :thumbsup:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p05xnw9f (http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p05xnw9f)

https://www.derbytelegraph.co.uk/news/business/derby-entrepreneur-ed-secure-investment-1191809 (https://www.derbytelegraph.co.uk/news/business/derby-entrepreneur-ed-secure-investment-1191809)
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on February 12, 2018, 08:04:32 PM
40 minutes if I leave at 7.20. May go earlier and leave earlier  angel1
40 minutes isn't bad nowadays.  Thanks to the excellence that is British radio

Leaving early never works in my experience, you just hit the horror of the school mum drivers
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 12, 2018, 08:06:33 PM
40 minutes if I leave at 7.20. May go earlier and leave earlier  angel1
40 minutes isn't bad nowadays.  Thanks to the excellence that is British radio

Leaving early never works in my experience, you just hit the horror of LL and Foggy in the Moke

 scared2: scared2:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Barman on February 12, 2018, 08:39:36 PM
40 minutes if I leave at 7.20. May go earlier and leave earlier  angel1
40 minutes isn't bad nowadays.  Thanks to the excellence that is British radio

Leaving early never works in my experience, you just hit the horror of LL and Foggy in the Moke

 scared2: scared2:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 13, 2018, 06:53:39 PM
4 more hours of "meetings" tomorrow  noooo:

And "HR" are sodding USELESS  Banghead Banghead cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on February 13, 2018, 06:56:11 PM
4 more hours of "meetings" tomorrow  noooo:

And "HR" are sodding USELESS  Banghead Banghead cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
It all went downhill for personnel depts worldwide when they started calling themselves HR.  Fucking pretentious term and too often led by fucking pretentious twats
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 13, 2018, 06:59:15 PM
Zackly!! This lot keep e mailing me and say they want to see me to welcome me on Day 1. Tomorrow is Day 3  cussing: cussing:

Will not answer any of my e mailed questions  cussing: cussing: cussing:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on February 13, 2018, 07:07:00 PM
Zackly!! This lot keep e mailing me and say they want to see me to welcome me on Day 1. Tomorrow is Day 3  cussing: cussing:

Will not answer any of my e mailed questions  cussing: cussing: cussing:
We used to get idiots fresh from failing as HR managers at the likes of B&Q brought in to tell us how we had to be more strict with our engineers who were already working something like 10 hours unpaid overtime a week.

In ~30 years of managing people I can recall one HR manager that was worth the job title and amazingly she was an American. 
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 13, 2018, 07:09:44 PM
Zackly  :thumbsup: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Miss Demeanour on February 13, 2018, 08:17:08 PM
Our HR is the epitome of useless !!!

They have basically been twindled away and team managers are now expected to 'absorb these functions. All policies etc  are online and any policy questions you have to ' log a request and fill our the appropriate form '  for the online robots to come back to you.



Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 13, 2018, 08:18:20 PM
 cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 14, 2018, 05:16:36 PM
Went to see HR and Payroll today. They are UTTER INCOMPETENT BASTARDS  Angry9: Angry9: Angry9:

Thought I was finally getting to see lie of the land this morning then was delivered a freighter full of manure to sort out this afternoon  noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Barman on February 14, 2018, 05:20:10 PM
Went to see HR and Payroll today. They are UTTER INCOMPETENT BASTARDS  Angry9: Angry9: Angry9:

Thought I was finally getting to see lie of the land this morning then was delivered a freighter full of manure to sort out this afternoon  noooo:

Get the Dalek...
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Grumpmeister on February 14, 2018, 05:41:05 PM
Went to see HR and Payroll today. They are UTTER INCOMPETENT BASTARDS  Angry9: Angry9: Angry9:

Thought I was finally getting to see lie of the land this morning then was delivered a freighter full of manure to sort out this afternoon  noooo:


http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5384897/Farmer-kicks-stink-long-running-dispute.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5384897/Farmer-kicks-stink-long-running-dispute.html)

 rubschin:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 15, 2018, 06:35:13 AM
Is it Friday yet? surrender: surrender:








Mind you, I have to go in on Saturday cussing: cussing: cussing:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on February 15, 2018, 08:16:08 AM
Is it Friday yet? surrender: surrender:








Mind you, I have to go in on Saturday cussing: cussing: cussing:
Prolly a smart move even if a pain imho.  Out manoeuvre the bastards and you'll see who of them really cares about their work
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 15, 2018, 04:56:31 PM
A computer glitch at the weekend ensured that everyone who ordered a paper prospectus online received 75 copies in the mail. Most of the complaints were from people who could not gain entry to their own houses. facepalm:

It also meant that we went though 14,500 prospectus (unit cost £4) in 2 days  facepalm: facepalm:

Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Miss Demeanour on February 15, 2018, 05:11:51 PM
 lol: lol: lol:

Wait for the civil injuries claims from the posties  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 15, 2018, 05:20:57 PM
 scared2:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Barman on February 15, 2018, 05:23:42 PM
A computer glitch at the weekend ensured that everyone who ordered a paper prospectus online received 75 copies in the mail. Most of the complaints were from people who could not gain entry to their own houses. facepalm:

It also meant that we went though 14,500 prospectus (unit cost £4) in 2 days  facepalm: facepalm:

happy001
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Grumpmeister on February 15, 2018, 07:03:46 PM
A computer glitch at the weekend ensured that everyone who ordered a paper prospectus online received 75 copies in the mail. Most of the complaints were from people who could not gain entry to their own houses. facepalm:

It also meant that we went though 14,500 prospectus (unit cost £4) in 2 days  facepalm: facepalm:

I'm impressed Nick, it usually takes longer for you to jinx something on a new contract....  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 15, 2018, 07:05:22 PM
It was before I started  angel1
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Darwins Selection on February 15, 2018, 10:40:25 PM
A computer glitch at the weekend ensured that everyone who ordered a paper prospectus online received 75 copies in the mail. Most of the complaints were from people who could not gain entry to their own houses. facepalm:

It also meant that we went though 14,500 prospectus (unit cost £4) in 2 days  facepalm: facepalm:
"Glitch"  char048

You mean you ordered on line
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 16, 2018, 06:16:31 AM
 cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Barman on February 16, 2018, 06:48:22 AM
A computer glitch at the weekend ensured that everyone who ordered a paper prospectus online received 75 copies in the mail. Most of the complaints were from people who could not gain entry to their own houses. facepalm:

It also meant that we went though 14,500 prospectus (unit cost £4) in 2 days  facepalm: facepalm:
"Glitch"  char048

You mean you ordered on line

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 16, 2018, 05:00:22 PM
POETS Day  NickSick NickSick NickSick NickSick NickSick
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Barman on February 16, 2018, 05:07:20 PM
POETS Day  NickSick NickSick NickSick NickSick NickSick

I thought you were werking on Sat?  eeek:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 16, 2018, 05:08:23 PM
9-1 but sort of undercover  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Barman on February 16, 2018, 05:19:33 PM
9-1 but sort of undercover  eveilgrin:

In bed?  eeek:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 16, 2018, 05:20:24 PM
Child  ::)
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 16, 2018, 06:16:49 PM
My "Head of Branding" looks like Lady Penelope. All pink with huge false eyelashes. I am starting to think that she is an airhead who shagged someone to get the job  noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on February 16, 2018, 06:29:11 PM
My "Head of Branding" looks like Lady Penelope. All pink with huge false eyelashes. I am starting to think that she is an airhead who shagged someone to get the job  noooo:
When you say "Head of Branding" dare we ask if that's in some sort of S&M way?
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 16, 2018, 06:31:41 PM
I think she looks like she likes it up her................... noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Tipsy Gipsy on February 17, 2018, 06:19:01 AM
I think she looks like she likes it up her................... noooo:

You are Harvey Weinstein, I claim my £5.   :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Barman on February 17, 2018, 06:37:31 AM
I think she looks like she likes it up her................... noooo:

You are Harvey Weinstein, I claim my £5.   :thumbsup:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 17, 2018, 07:28:44 AM
 redface:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Tipsy Gipsy on February 17, 2018, 08:22:32 AM
That’s free mandatory training done.   :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on February 17, 2018, 11:38:13 AM
That’s free mandatory training done.   :thumbsup:
:thumbsup: :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Grumpmeister on February 17, 2018, 01:34:26 PM
9-1 but sort of undercover  eveilgrin:


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn-static.denofgeek.com%2Fsites%2Fdenofgeek%2Ffiles%2F8%2F88%2F%2Fapowers.jpg&hash=d430fc320b8bc54a99920d0a8e7f9672)

 rubschin:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 17, 2018, 04:11:02 PM
Not too far off, ackchooly  redface:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Barman on February 17, 2018, 05:02:25 PM
Not too far off, ackchooly  redface:

Groovy baby!  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 17, 2018, 05:07:20 PM
I met some yummy mummies  :thumbsup: redface: redface: redface:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 19, 2018, 06:15:18 PM
Another utterly bonkers day and added in an accidental coffee with the vile Laura Kuensberg (sp?) sick2:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: apc2010 on February 19, 2018, 07:42:49 PM
Another utterly bonkers day and added in an accidental coffee with the vile Laura Kuensberg (sp?) sick2:

How do you have coffee by accident ....... rubschin:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 19, 2018, 08:03:52 PM
I sat at the wrong table and she happened to be there. Pure poison
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: apc2010 on February 19, 2018, 08:09:10 PM
I sat at the wrong table and she happened to be there. Pure poison

The coffee ........... noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on February 19, 2018, 08:50:50 PM
I sat at the wrong table and she happened to be there. Pure poison
really?  I think not.  I'd bet cleverer than you by half though (and I)
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 19, 2018, 08:57:21 PM
I am sure she is, but she was snide and nasty
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: apc2010 on February 19, 2018, 09:16:47 PM
There is a "de-cafe " joke here somewhere ....... rubschin:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Miss Demeanour on February 20, 2018, 08:09:49 AM
I am sure she is, but she was snide and nasty

It's funny...that's what I've thought of her when you see her on the box. Though political journalists are a different breed...not sure I appreciate many of them. Preston does my head in ... evil:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on February 20, 2018, 08:30:06 AM
I am sure she is, but she was snide and nasty

It's funny...that's what I've thought of her when you see her on the box. Though political journalists are a different breed...not sure I appreciate many of them. Preston does my head in ... evil:
Saw a lot of Peston when we went to see room 101 fillumed.  Very shy very likeable guy and sadly the best bits of him and Skinner never made even the extended version

imho people dislike Koensberg because she has a habit of asking questions about awkward truths people of power want hidden.  But that's her job

Both pass the could you cope being stuck in a railway carriage with them test.
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 20, 2018, 06:10:01 PM
I met three raving loonies today  scared2:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on February 20, 2018, 06:23:53 PM
I met three raving loonies today  scared2:
You went to a mirror shop?
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 20, 2018, 06:36:11 PM
 horn:
 Spank2:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Grumpmeister on February 20, 2018, 09:00:43 PM
I met three raving loonies today  scared2:

Gravitating towards a kindred spirit you say....  rubschin: