The Virtual Pub

Come Inside... => The Snug => Topic started by: Nick on January 15, 2018, 03:38:06 PM

Title: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on January 15, 2018, 03:38:06 PM
Derby tomorrow. Could be interesting  rubschin:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby, or Alton, or maybe neither.....
Post by: Steve on January 15, 2018, 03:44:07 PM
Derby tomorrow. Could be interesting  rubschin:
Grand National the day after?
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby, or Alton, or maybe neither.....
Post by: Grumpmeister on January 15, 2018, 07:01:01 PM
Derby tomorrow. Could be interesting  rubschin:
Grand National the day after?

Something tells me it will be more demolition...  noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby, or Alton, or maybe neither.....
Post by: Steve on January 15, 2018, 08:33:52 PM
Derby tomorrow. Could be interesting  rubschin:
Grand National the day after?

Something tells me it will be more demolition...  noooo:

Or even Derby in the 'and Joan' sense
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby, or Alton, or maybe neither.....
Post by: Nick on January 16, 2018, 03:55:02 PM
Well, Alton can fvck off as they refuse to pay expenses  ::)  but Derby want me to go back and meet the VC  cloud9:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby, or Alton, or maybe neither.....
Post by: Barman on January 16, 2018, 04:04:41 PM
Well, Alton can fvck off as they refuse to pay expenses  ::)  but Derby want me to go back and meet the VC  cloud9:

And Miss I wants you to meet the VD! happy001
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby, or Alton, or maybe neither.....
Post by: Nick on January 16, 2018, 04:08:26 PM
 drumroll:


























 Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby, or Alton, or maybe neither.....
Post by: Steve on January 16, 2018, 04:08:56 PM
Well, Alton can fvck off as they refuse to pay expenses  ::)  but Derby want me to go back and meet the VC  cloud9:
:thumbsup:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby, or Alton, or maybe neither.....
Post by: Nick on January 16, 2018, 05:30:21 PM
I forgot to mention. My ultra low tech paper and Post It presentation was, of course, a triumph. Ironically, the woman I was meant to see as, clearly having forgotten my requirements, had somehow split her head open while trying to set up a computer projector for me and had been carted off to A&E for stitches. angel1
























 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby, or Alton, or maybe neither.....
Post by: Miss Demeanour on January 17, 2018, 10:52:21 AM
The odds that these things are merely accidents happening around you are decreasing !!!!
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby, or Alton, or maybe neither.....
Post by: Nick on January 17, 2018, 10:57:05 AM
 angel1
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby, or Alton, or maybe neither.....
Post by: Nick on January 22, 2018, 12:55:06 PM
A phone call: the wumman who can confirm me in my new job is still off work with concussion following the interview  facepalm:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby, or Alton, or maybe neither.....
Post by: Steve on January 22, 2018, 01:01:18 PM
A phone call: the wumman who can confirm me in my new job is still off work with concussion following the interview  facepalm:
happy001

How come I now have an earworm on “Only You” by Yazoo?    rubschin:

Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby, or Alton, or maybe neither.....
Post by: apc2010 on January 22, 2018, 01:45:44 PM
A phone call: the wumman who can confirm me in my new job is still off work with concussion following the interview  facepalm:

You hit her ........ eeek:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby, or Alton, or maybe neither.....
Post by: Nick on January 22, 2018, 01:48:01 PM
No, a projector stand fell on her head  noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby, or Alton, or maybe neither.....
Post by: Nick on January 22, 2018, 02:19:49 PM
Brief meeting with the headbanger on Wednesday afternoon  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby, or Alton, or maybe neither.....
Post by: apc2010 on January 22, 2018, 04:11:08 PM
Brief meeting with the headbanger on Wednesday afternoon  :thumbsup:

TMJs....... noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby, or Alton, or maybe neither.....
Post by: Nick on January 22, 2018, 04:12:47 PM
 facepalm:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby, or Alton, or maybe neither.....
Post by: Steve on January 22, 2018, 08:07:13 PM
Brief meeting with the headbanger on Wednesday afternoon  :thumbsup:

TMJs....... noooo:
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby, or Alton, or maybe neither.....
Post by: Nick on January 23, 2018, 07:07:35 PM
Ken, who I met last week, suggests we meet for a coffee "off site" before I meet the concussed woman tomorrow. I have agreed, as he is my new best friend, but fucking hell, everything at this place is clandestine  Banghead Banghead Banghead
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby, or Alton, or maybe neither.....
Post by: Miss Demeanour on January 23, 2018, 10:27:14 PM
Yep ....the workplace is a suitable environment to hold the  daily bitchfest events   evil:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby, or Alton, or maybe neither.....
Post by: Nick on January 25, 2018, 11:24:42 AM
So, Derby it is rubschin:

But not till Feb 12th, so if the London job comes through I will tell Derby to feck off  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby, or Alton, or maybe neither.....
Post by: Nick on January 25, 2018, 03:17:37 PM
London job can't afford me  sad24:, so Derby it is  scared2:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on January 25, 2018, 03:44:47 PM
London job can't afford me  sad24:, so Derby it is  scared2:
Shame as East Midlands trans Atlantic flights are somewhat rare but Mr Stew will be nearby
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on January 25, 2018, 03:47:08 PM
 cloud9:

Mr Stew luvs me  cloud9:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Barman on January 25, 2018, 03:51:11 PM
cloud9:

Mr Stew luvs me  cloud9:

He doesn't...  noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on January 25, 2018, 03:52:46 PM
Have you spoken to him? He said "Dadda," the other day  cloud9:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Darwins Selection on January 25, 2018, 04:27:56 PM
Have you spoken to him? He said "Dodo," the other day  cloud9:
whistle:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on January 25, 2018, 04:29:43 PM
 cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Barman on January 25, 2018, 04:30:43 PM
Have you spoken to him? He said "Dodo," the other day  cloud9:
whistle:

You spelt 'dildo' incorrectly....  whistle:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on January 25, 2018, 04:31:16 PM
Child  ::)
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby, or Alton, or maybe neither.....
Post by: Grumpmeister on January 26, 2018, 02:46:57 AM
London job can't afford me  sad24:, so Derby it is  scared2:

Insurance costs are a bugger these days...  noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on January 31, 2018, 04:14:54 PM
An e mail floods in. "On your first day you will need to present a report on marketing to the Department of Engineering. They are quite hostile, so be warned. You might want to get your head round the attached spreadsheets before the 12th as they are bound to ask lots of questions." scared2: scared2: scared2:
12 pages of incomprehensible figures are attached, though the general theme seems to be that I have to tell them they are fvcked  scared2: scared2:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Barman on January 31, 2018, 04:15:34 PM
An e mail floods in. "On your first day you will need to present a report on marketing to the Department of Engineering. They are quite hostile, so be warned. You might want to get your head round the attached spreadsheets before the 12th as they are bound to ask lots of questions." scared2: scared2: scared2:
12 pages of incomprehensible figures are attached, though the general theme seems to be that I have to tell them they are fvcked  scared2: scared2:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on January 31, 2018, 05:08:02 PM
An e mail floods in. "On your first day you will need to present a report on marketing to the Department of Engineering. They are quite hostile, so be warned. You might want to get your head round the attached spreadsheets before the 12th as they are bound to ask lots of questions." scared2: scared2: scared2:
12 pages of incomprehensible figures are attached, though the general theme seems to be that I have to tell them they are fvcked  scared2: scared2:
You could start by asking them who has audited the spreadsheet and when they look puzzled follow up with “you do know that spreadsheets are the most efficient mechanism in the world for generating incorrect analyses and unsupportable analysis software”
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Just One More on January 31, 2018, 05:25:01 PM
An e mail floods in. "On your first day you will need to present a report on marketing to the Department of Engineering. They are quite hostile, so be warned. You might want to get your head round the attached spreadsheets before the 12th as they are bound to ask lots of questions." scared2: scared2: scared2:
12 pages of incomprehensible figures are attached, though the general theme seems to be that I have to tell them they are fvcked  scared2: scared2:

Are they paying you to read the spreadsheets and prepare your report before "Day 1"  noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on January 31, 2018, 06:00:31 PM
What do you think? ::)
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Grumpmeister on February 01, 2018, 11:35:07 AM
Sacrificial lamb comes to mind. You are on a short term contract so presenting the findings to a very hostile department won't harm the permanent staff. Saw this happen a fair bit with some call centres.

If you have the chance start cramming whatever the latest incarnation of Six Sigma is. It should be harder for an engineering department to argue with you when it sounds like you are well versed in those quality and efficiency systems.  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on February 01, 2018, 02:07:48 PM
Sacrificial lamb comes to mind. You are on a short term contract so presenting the findings to a very hostile department won't harm the permanent staff. Saw this happen a fair bit with some call centres.

If you have the chance start cramming whatever the latest incarnation of Six Sigma is. It should be harder for an engineering department to argue with you when it sounds like you are well versed in those quality and efficiency systems.  :thumbsup:
:thumbsup:

Six Sigma is not what it was.  Suffered from the idiot purists that demanded everything had to be six sigma levels* and companies that invented perversions that watered it hopelessly down

Shame really



* they used to hate it when I asked stuff like this:  which is the most successful company in the world in terms of revenue and profit per employee:  Roger Federer.  And is his first serve % six sigma levels of error?  No.  So don’t make me make initial software coding errors per line the same either.
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Grumpmeister on February 02, 2018, 10:52:21 PM
I'm still more than a little narked that at one of the call centres I'd been working at the rest of the department had funding for six sigma training and I was left out despite having implemented 3 improvements that would have saved enough money to grant me black belt certification. Didn't realise at the time because I would ignore office politics and concentrate on getting the work done but looking back I should have seen the writing on the wall back then.  noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 04, 2018, 06:05:18 PM
Thinking about buying a new suit  rubschin:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Miss Demeanour on February 04, 2018, 08:29:46 PM
To go with the shirts like  :thumbsup:

Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 05, 2018, 07:58:22 AM
 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Miss Demeanour on February 05, 2018, 03:03:09 PM
Thinking about buying a new suit  rubschin:

We can be your virtual personal shopping assistants  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 05, 2018, 03:14:06 PM
I would end up dressed like Austin Powers  noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Miss Demeanour on February 05, 2018, 03:19:28 PM
Not at all  noooo:

(https://cdn.heavencostumes.com.au/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/s/m/smf-43409_flowerpot_men_sunflower_novelty_dress_up_costume_front_1.jpg)
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 05, 2018, 03:21:19 PM
That is the very costume I wore to a fancy dress party in 1977 eeek: eeek:

My girlfriend came to the same party as a bee  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 05, 2018, 04:10:44 PM
Anyhoo, been looking at their recruitment figures today...............

 facepalm:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Barman on February 06, 2018, 12:21:04 PM
That is the very costume I wore to a fancy dress party in 1977 eeek: eeek:

My girlfriend came to the same party as a Ben  :thumbsup:

 whistle:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 06, 2018, 12:22:23 PM
Child  ::)
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Barman on February 06, 2018, 12:26:46 PM
Child  ::)

Little Weed!  point:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 06, 2018, 12:29:43 PM
 cussing:

The young laydee was a very fit and utterly rampant ballet dancer  cloud9:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Barman on February 06, 2018, 12:33:17 PM
cussing:

The young laydee was a very fit and utterly rampant ballet dancer  cloud9:

I bet you made a lovely couple...  :thumbsup:


(https://s10.postimg.org/pkdessex1/billand_ben.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/pkdessex1/)
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 06, 2018, 12:34:44 PM
Is it time for my flobalob joke? rubschin:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Barman on February 06, 2018, 12:35:37 PM
Is it time for my flobalob joke? rubschin:

May as well... ::)
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 06, 2018, 12:39:48 PM
No, it wouldn't go down well............
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on February 06, 2018, 12:41:07 PM
No, it wouldn't go down well............
Sounds like it didn’t go up well either
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Grumpmeister on February 06, 2018, 06:34:05 PM
cussing:

The young laydee was a very fit and utterly rampant ballet dancer  cloud9:

(https://vice-images.vice.com/images/content-images-crops/2016/05/17/meet-the-drag-ballerina-whos-performed-in-iraq-and-afghanistan-body-image-1463504421-size_1000.jpg?output-quality=75&resize=1000:*)

 rubschin:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 06, 2018, 06:37:20 PM
Oh noes  eyes: eyes: eyes: eyes:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 09, 2018, 11:06:05 AM
Having had no communication from Derby whatsoever about where I have to go when I start on Monday, I contacted "HR".
They had no idea who I was  facepalm:
They made some calls and today I have had an e mail assuring me that "Ken" will be in touch today. I know for a fact that Ken is currently on holiday in Tenerife  noooo:
My start date would have been sooner, but they were moving my office to a different site and thought I could start once it had moved to avoid "upheaval".
The office move has been delayed. It will happen on Tuesday  Banghead Banghead
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on February 09, 2018, 11:45:29 AM
Having had no communication from Derby whatsoever about where I have to go when I start on Monday, I contacted "HR".
They had no idea who I was  facepalm:
They made some calls and today I have had an e mail assuring me that "Ken" will be in touch today. I know for a fact that Ken is currently on holiday in Tenerife  noooo:
My start date would have been sooner, but they were moving my office to a different site and thought I could start once it had moved to avoid "upheaval".
The office move has been delayed. It will happen on Tuesday  Banghead Banghead
This doesn’t bode well does it.  My last job started like that, never saw my boss for 2 weeks.  Still the money was good
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 09, 2018, 05:43:08 PM
Well, neither Ken nor anyone else has been in touch  ::)
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on February 09, 2018, 05:59:23 PM
Maybe they read your posts here
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 09, 2018, 06:00:36 PM
 scared2:

I have e mailed "HR" and told them I will be there at 8.30 on Monday  angel1
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: apc2010 on February 09, 2018, 06:09:47 PM
scared2:

I have e mailed "HR" and told them I will be there at 8.30 on Monday  angel1

The Queen ....... eeek:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 09, 2018, 06:13:06 PM
 ::)
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Grumpmeister on February 09, 2018, 10:13:20 PM
Having had no communication from Derby whatsoever about where I have to go when I start on Monday, I contacted "HR".
They had no idea who I was  facepalm:
They made some calls and today I have had an e mail assuring me that "Ken" will be in touch today. I know for a fact that Ken is currently on holiday in Tenerife  noooo:
My start date would have been sooner, but they were moving my office to a different site and thought I could start once it had moved to avoid "upheaval".
The office move has been delayed. It will happen on Tuesday  Banghead Banghead

Just to make certain, you have gone to the right place haven't you...  rubschin:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 11, 2018, 05:35:36 PM
 ::)

Alarm clock set to 6 a.m. for the rest of the week  sad24:

This full time werk mullarkey is a bit overrated, especially if you have to commute rather than live in a hotel and have all your food cooked for you, like  noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Grumpmeister on February 11, 2018, 06:17:42 PM
::)

Alarm clock set to 6 a.m. for the rest of the week  sad24:

This full time werk mullarkey is a bit overrated, especially if you have to commute rather than live in a hotel and have all your food cooked for you, like  noooo:

Welcome to the real world...  whistle:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 11, 2018, 06:19:14 PM
 sad32: sad32:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Tipsy Gipsy on February 12, 2018, 08:49:58 AM
::)

Alarm clock set to 6 a.m. for the rest of the week  sad24:

This full time werk mullarkey is a bit overrated, especially if you have to commute rather than live in a hotel and have all your food cooked for you, like  noooo:

Good luck.   angel1   
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Miss Demeanour on February 12, 2018, 08:58:34 AM
::)

Alarm clock set to 6 a.m. for the rest of the week  sad24:

This full time werk mullarkey is a bit overrated, especially if you have to commute rather than live in a hotel and have all your food cooked for you, like  noooo:

Welcome to the real world...  whistle:

 happ096
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: apc2010 on February 12, 2018, 03:08:56 PM
::)

Alarm clock set to 6 a.m. for the rest of the week  sad24:

This full time werk mullarkey is a bit overrated, especially if you have to commute rather than live in a hotel and have all your food cooked for you, like  noooo:

Alarm clock........ rubschin:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Barman on February 12, 2018, 03:11:28 PM
::)

Alarm clock set to 6 a.m. for the rest of the week  sad24:

This full time werk mullarkey is a bit overrated, especially if you have to commute rather than live in a hotel and have all your food cooked for you, like  noooo:

Alarm clock........ rubschin:

Shrugs:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 12, 2018, 05:38:00 PM
Feck moi. Whirlwind day, three meetings  eeek:

Staff of about 40 of whom 35 are totty young ladies.
 NickSick NickSick
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on February 12, 2018, 06:23:56 PM
Feck moi. Whirlwind day, three meetings  eeek:

Staff of about 40 of whom 35 are totty young ladies.
 NickSick NickSick
:thumbsup:  a ready made herd for you to service then
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 12, 2018, 06:29:31 PM
It's insane

Loads of names to learn, two campuses to navigate (lost my own office today!), have to go in Saturday for 4 hours (but time and a half off in lieu), THREE one hour meetings today with professors with personality disorders, no time for lunch..........or even more than one coffee.

Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on February 12, 2018, 06:32:04 PM
It's insane

Loads of names to learn, two campuses to navigate (lost my own office today!), have to go in Saturday for 4 hours (but time and a half off in lieu), THREE one hour meetings today with professors with personality disorders, no time for lunch..........or even more than one coffee.
You'll love it

How is the commute?
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 12, 2018, 06:36:50 PM
40 minutes if I leave at 7.20. May go earlier and leave earlier  angel1
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 12, 2018, 06:49:22 PM
Meeting this chappy tomorrow!! :thumbsup:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p05xnw9f (http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p05xnw9f)

https://www.derbytelegraph.co.uk/news/business/derby-entrepreneur-ed-secure-investment-1191809 (https://www.derbytelegraph.co.uk/news/business/derby-entrepreneur-ed-secure-investment-1191809)
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on February 12, 2018, 08:04:32 PM
40 minutes if I leave at 7.20. May go earlier and leave earlier  angel1
40 minutes isn't bad nowadays.  Thanks to the excellence that is British radio

Leaving early never works in my experience, you just hit the horror of the school mum drivers
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 12, 2018, 08:06:33 PM
40 minutes if I leave at 7.20. May go earlier and leave earlier  angel1
40 minutes isn't bad nowadays.  Thanks to the excellence that is British radio

Leaving early never works in my experience, you just hit the horror of LL and Foggy in the Moke

 scared2: scared2:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Barman on February 12, 2018, 08:39:36 PM
40 minutes if I leave at 7.20. May go earlier and leave earlier  angel1
40 minutes isn't bad nowadays.  Thanks to the excellence that is British radio

Leaving early never works in my experience, you just hit the horror of LL and Foggy in the Moke

 scared2: scared2:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 13, 2018, 06:53:39 PM
4 more hours of "meetings" tomorrow  noooo:

And "HR" are sodding USELESS  Banghead Banghead cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on February 13, 2018, 06:56:11 PM
4 more hours of "meetings" tomorrow  noooo:

And "HR" are sodding USELESS  Banghead Banghead cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
It all went downhill for personnel depts worldwide when they started calling themselves HR.  Fucking pretentious term and too often led by fucking pretentious twats
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 13, 2018, 06:59:15 PM
Zackly!! This lot keep e mailing me and say they want to see me to welcome me on Day 1. Tomorrow is Day 3  cussing: cussing:

Will not answer any of my e mailed questions  cussing: cussing: cussing:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on February 13, 2018, 07:07:00 PM
Zackly!! This lot keep e mailing me and say they want to see me to welcome me on Day 1. Tomorrow is Day 3  cussing: cussing:

Will not answer any of my e mailed questions  cussing: cussing: cussing:
We used to get idiots fresh from failing as HR managers at the likes of B&Q brought in to tell us how we had to be more strict with our engineers who were already working something like 10 hours unpaid overtime a week.

In ~30 years of managing people I can recall one HR manager that was worth the job title and amazingly she was an American. 
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 13, 2018, 07:09:44 PM
Zackly  :thumbsup: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Miss Demeanour on February 13, 2018, 08:17:08 PM
Our HR is the epitome of useless !!!

They have basically been twindled away and team managers are now expected to 'absorb these functions. All policies etc  are online and any policy questions you have to ' log a request and fill our the appropriate form '  for the online robots to come back to you.



Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 13, 2018, 08:18:20 PM
 cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 14, 2018, 05:16:36 PM
Went to see HR and Payroll today. They are UTTER INCOMPETENT BASTARDS  Angry9: Angry9: Angry9:

Thought I was finally getting to see lie of the land this morning then was delivered a freighter full of manure to sort out this afternoon  noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Barman on February 14, 2018, 05:20:10 PM
Went to see HR and Payroll today. They are UTTER INCOMPETENT BASTARDS  Angry9: Angry9: Angry9:

Thought I was finally getting to see lie of the land this morning then was delivered a freighter full of manure to sort out this afternoon  noooo:

Get the Dalek...
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Grumpmeister on February 14, 2018, 05:41:05 PM
Went to see HR and Payroll today. They are UTTER INCOMPETENT BASTARDS  Angry9: Angry9: Angry9:

Thought I was finally getting to see lie of the land this morning then was delivered a freighter full of manure to sort out this afternoon  noooo:


http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5384897/Farmer-kicks-stink-long-running-dispute.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5384897/Farmer-kicks-stink-long-running-dispute.html)

 rubschin:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 15, 2018, 06:35:13 AM
Is it Friday yet? surrender: surrender:








Mind you, I have to go in on Saturday cussing: cussing: cussing:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on February 15, 2018, 08:16:08 AM
Is it Friday yet? surrender: surrender:








Mind you, I have to go in on Saturday cussing: cussing: cussing:
Prolly a smart move even if a pain imho.  Out manoeuvre the bastards and you'll see who of them really cares about their work
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 15, 2018, 04:56:31 PM
A computer glitch at the weekend ensured that everyone who ordered a paper prospectus online received 75 copies in the mail. Most of the complaints were from people who could not gain entry to their own houses. facepalm:

It also meant that we went though 14,500 prospectus (unit cost £4) in 2 days  facepalm: facepalm:

Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Miss Demeanour on February 15, 2018, 05:11:51 PM
 lol: lol: lol:

Wait for the civil injuries claims from the posties  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 15, 2018, 05:20:57 PM
 scared2:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Barman on February 15, 2018, 05:23:42 PM
A computer glitch at the weekend ensured that everyone who ordered a paper prospectus online received 75 copies in the mail. Most of the complaints were from people who could not gain entry to their own houses. facepalm:

It also meant that we went though 14,500 prospectus (unit cost £4) in 2 days  facepalm: facepalm:

happy001
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Grumpmeister on February 15, 2018, 07:03:46 PM
A computer glitch at the weekend ensured that everyone who ordered a paper prospectus online received 75 copies in the mail. Most of the complaints were from people who could not gain entry to their own houses. facepalm:

It also meant that we went though 14,500 prospectus (unit cost £4) in 2 days  facepalm: facepalm:

I'm impressed Nick, it usually takes longer for you to jinx something on a new contract....  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 15, 2018, 07:05:22 PM
It was before I started  angel1
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Darwins Selection on February 15, 2018, 10:40:25 PM
A computer glitch at the weekend ensured that everyone who ordered a paper prospectus online received 75 copies in the mail. Most of the complaints were from people who could not gain entry to their own houses. facepalm:

It also meant that we went though 14,500 prospectus (unit cost £4) in 2 days  facepalm: facepalm:
"Glitch"  char048

You mean you ordered on line
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 16, 2018, 06:16:31 AM
 cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Barman on February 16, 2018, 06:48:22 AM
A computer glitch at the weekend ensured that everyone who ordered a paper prospectus online received 75 copies in the mail. Most of the complaints were from people who could not gain entry to their own houses. facepalm:

It also meant that we went though 14,500 prospectus (unit cost £4) in 2 days  facepalm: facepalm:
"Glitch"  char048

You mean you ordered on line

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 16, 2018, 05:00:22 PM
POETS Day  NickSick NickSick NickSick NickSick NickSick
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Barman on February 16, 2018, 05:07:20 PM
POETS Day  NickSick NickSick NickSick NickSick NickSick

I thought you were werking on Sat?  eeek:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 16, 2018, 05:08:23 PM
9-1 but sort of undercover  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Barman on February 16, 2018, 05:19:33 PM
9-1 but sort of undercover  eveilgrin:

In bed?  eeek:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 16, 2018, 05:20:24 PM
Child  ::)
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 16, 2018, 06:16:49 PM
My "Head of Branding" looks like Lady Penelope. All pink with huge false eyelashes. I am starting to think that she is an airhead who shagged someone to get the job  noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on February 16, 2018, 06:29:11 PM
My "Head of Branding" looks like Lady Penelope. All pink with huge false eyelashes. I am starting to think that she is an airhead who shagged someone to get the job  noooo:
When you say "Head of Branding" dare we ask if that's in some sort of S&M way?
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 16, 2018, 06:31:41 PM
I think she looks like she likes it up her................... noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Tipsy Gipsy on February 17, 2018, 06:19:01 AM
I think she looks like she likes it up her................... noooo:

You are Harvey Weinstein, I claim my £5.   :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Barman on February 17, 2018, 06:37:31 AM
I think she looks like she likes it up her................... noooo:

You are Harvey Weinstein, I claim my £5.   :thumbsup:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 17, 2018, 07:28:44 AM
 redface:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Tipsy Gipsy on February 17, 2018, 08:22:32 AM
That’s free mandatory training done.   :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on February 17, 2018, 11:38:13 AM
That’s free mandatory training done.   :thumbsup:
:thumbsup: :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Grumpmeister on February 17, 2018, 01:34:26 PM
9-1 but sort of undercover  eveilgrin:


(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn-static.denofgeek.com%2Fsites%2Fdenofgeek%2Ffiles%2F8%2F88%2F%2Fapowers.jpg&hash=d430fc320b8bc54a99920d0a8e7f9672)

 rubschin:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 17, 2018, 04:11:02 PM
Not too far off, ackchooly  redface:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Barman on February 17, 2018, 05:02:25 PM
Not too far off, ackchooly  redface:

Groovy baby!  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 17, 2018, 05:07:20 PM
I met some yummy mummies  :thumbsup: redface: redface: redface:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 19, 2018, 06:15:18 PM
Another utterly bonkers day and added in an accidental coffee with the vile Laura Kuensberg (sp?) sick2:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: apc2010 on February 19, 2018, 07:42:49 PM
Another utterly bonkers day and added in an accidental coffee with the vile Laura Kuensberg (sp?) sick2:

How do you have coffee by accident ....... rubschin:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 19, 2018, 08:03:52 PM
I sat at the wrong table and she happened to be there. Pure poison
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: apc2010 on February 19, 2018, 08:09:10 PM
I sat at the wrong table and she happened to be there. Pure poison

The coffee ........... noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on February 19, 2018, 08:50:50 PM
I sat at the wrong table and she happened to be there. Pure poison
really?  I think not.  I'd bet cleverer than you by half though (and I)
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 19, 2018, 08:57:21 PM
I am sure she is, but she was snide and nasty
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: apc2010 on February 19, 2018, 09:16:47 PM
There is a "de-cafe " joke here somewhere ....... rubschin:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Miss Demeanour on February 20, 2018, 08:09:49 AM
I am sure she is, but she was snide and nasty

It's funny...that's what I've thought of her when you see her on the box. Though political journalists are a different breed...not sure I appreciate many of them. Preston does my head in ... evil:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on February 20, 2018, 08:30:06 AM
I am sure she is, but she was snide and nasty

It's funny...that's what I've thought of her when you see her on the box. Though political journalists are a different breed...not sure I appreciate many of them. Preston does my head in ... evil:
Saw a lot of Peston when we went to see room 101 fillumed.  Very shy very likeable guy and sadly the best bits of him and Skinner never made even the extended version

imho people dislike Koensberg because she has a habit of asking questions about awkward truths people of power want hidden.  But that's her job

Both pass the could you cope being stuck in a railway carriage with them test.
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 20, 2018, 06:10:01 PM
I met three raving loonies today  scared2:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on February 20, 2018, 06:23:53 PM
I met three raving loonies today  scared2:
You went to a mirror shop?
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 20, 2018, 06:36:11 PM
 horn:
 Spank2:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Grumpmeister on February 20, 2018, 09:00:43 PM
I met three raving loonies today  scared2:

Gravitating towards a kindred spirit you say....  rubschin:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 21, 2018, 07:28:22 AM
Big event tonight. Got to be there till 8  NickSick NickSick
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Miss Demeanour on February 21, 2018, 07:31:52 AM
Overtime being paid ?  rubschin:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 21, 2018, 07:32:39 AM
 noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on February 21, 2018, 09:15:42 AM
Big event tonight. Got to be there till 8  NickSick NickSick
Have they sent everyone 75 copies of the invitation?
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Uncle Mort on February 21, 2018, 09:29:25 AM
Big event tonight. Got to be there till 8  NickSick NickSick
Have they sent everyone 75 copies of the invitation?

Or 75 to random email addresses.
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on February 21, 2018, 09:43:41 AM
Big event tonight. Got to be there till 8  NickSick NickSick
Have they sent everyone 75 copies of the invitation?

Or 75 to random email addresses.
So assuming there's free wine and grub we could all go along and say "well we got the email . . ."
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Darwins Selection on February 21, 2018, 10:39:29 AM
Big event tonight. Got to be there till 8  NickSick NickSick
Have they sent everyone 75 copies of the invitation?

Or 75 to random email addresses.
So assuming there's free wine and grub we could all go along and say "well we got the email . . ."
:thumbsup:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 21, 2018, 07:40:31 PM
Baled out early. The guy by-passed the Events Team and organised it himself:

So 30 people in a theatre built for 200 facepalm:
Advance publicity crap (with an apostrophe error  cussing: )
Tea and coffee for 20  noooo:
12 biscuits, 2 of which the Professor of Engineering ate
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Grumpmeister on February 21, 2018, 07:48:59 PM
Baled out early. The guy by-passed the Events Team and organised it himself:

So 30 people in a theatre built for 200 facepalm:
Advance publicity crap (with an apostrophe error  cussing: )
Tea and coffee for 20  noooo:
12 biscuits, 2 of which the Professor of Engineering ate

He obviously heard about your email prowess and didn't want to take any chances...  whistle:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 21, 2018, 08:06:59 PM
There will be a podcast tomorrow. I doubt it will set the world alight  noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Grumpmeister on February 22, 2018, 04:07:27 AM
There will be a podcast tomorrow. I doubt it will set the world alight  noooo:

That depends, were you doing anything with the electronics?  scared2:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 22, 2018, 06:25:50 PM
So we are inviting Applicants in to special Applicants' Days where they get the red carpet treatment and their parents are fed and watered so they are encouraged to come to the university.

The kids get Taster Session in their chose subjects so we can really impress them. One tricky area is COmputer graphics and animation.

We had 30 kids in last Sat. The relevant lecturers couldn't be arsed to come in, so the kids were given two hours of coding instead.

They all complained and said that after the experience they would NOT be coming here.  facepalm:

Apparently, several were in tears.

I contacted the relevant people and reprimanded them (gently). They have now complained about ME and said I am not helping them to recruit!!

 facepalm:

The staff who were there were all Chinese and have demanded a meeting with me. I have met two and cannot understand a word they say.

In other news I have been offered a job in London for a start in 2 weeks at twice the pay, plus expenses. rubschin:

Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Barman on February 22, 2018, 07:31:41 PM
So we are inviting Applicants in to special Applicants' Days where they get the red carpet treatment and their parents are fed and watered so they are encouraged to come to the university.

The kids get Taster Session in their chose subjects so we can really impress them. One tricky area is COmputer graphics and animation.

We had 30 kids in last Sat. The relevant lecturers couldn't be arsed to come in, so the kids were given two hours of coding instead.

They all complained and said that after the experience they would NOT be coming here.  facepalm:

Apparently, several were in tears.

I contacted the relevant people and reprimanded them (gently). They have now complained about ME and said I am not helping them to recruit!!

 facepalm:

The staff who were there were all Chinese and have demanded a meeting with me. I have met two and cannot understand a word they say.

In other news I have been offered a job in London for a start in 2 weeks at twice the pay, plus expenses. rubschin:

 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on February 22, 2018, 08:13:38 PM
So we are inviting Applicants in to special Applicants' Days where they get the red carpet treatment and their parents are fed and watered so they are encouraged to come to the university.

The kids get Taster Session in their chose subjects so we can really impress them. One tricky area is COmputer graphics and animation.

We had 30 kids in last Sat. The relevant lecturers couldn't be arsed to come in, so the kids were given two hours of coding instead.

They all complained and said that after the experience they would NOT be coming here.  facepalm:

Apparently, several were in tears.

I contacted the relevant people and reprimanded them (gently). They have now complained about ME and said I am not helping them to recruit!!

 facepalm:

The staff who were there were all Chinese and have demanded a meeting with me. I have met two and cannot understand a word they say.

In other news I have been offered a job in London for a start in 2 weeks at twice the pay, plus expenses. rubschin:

 :thumbsup:
:thumbsup: :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 23, 2018, 05:14:54 PM
A good day  eeek: Shocked:

But I have to go on tomorrow for an Open Day  cussing: cussing: cussing:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Just One More on February 23, 2018, 05:39:23 PM
So we are inviting Applicants in to special Applicants' Days where they get the red carpet treatment and their parents are fed and watered so they are encouraged to come to the university.

The kids get Taster Session in their chose subjects so we can really impress them. One tricky area is COmputer graphics and animation.

We had 30 kids in last Sat. The relevant lecturers couldn't be arsed to come in, so the kids were given two hours of coding instead.

They all complained and said that after the experience they would NOT be coming here.  facepalm:

Apparently, several were in tears.

I contacted the relevant people and reprimanded them (gently). They have now complained about ME and said I am not helping them to recruit!!

 facepalm:

The staff who were there were all Chinese and have demanded a meeting with me. I have met two and cannot understand a word they say.

In other news I have been offered a job in London for a start in 2 weeks at twice the pay, plus expenses. rubschin:

Aaaaaarrrrrggggggghhhhhh  Explode: Explode: Explode:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 23, 2018, 05:58:49 PM
 redface:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 24, 2018, 03:47:23 PM
Corker today.

Had to show my face at an Open Day and was in at 8.  NickSick

I was checking around to see how things were set up in advance of the arrival of parents and kids. My nose detected a terrible smell, so I went off to investigate.

I encountered a tramp. Filthy waist length grey hair, vile BO, filthy ragged clothes, wild staring eyes and a trolley full of strange objects in bags. He was inspecting a painting from about an inch away. He was quite a big chap so I called Security to get him removed.

They arrived promptly and I pointed him out. I could smell him from 10 yards away.

They said, "We can't remove him. He is the Professor of Computer Gaming."

 facepalm:

Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on February 24, 2018, 04:04:00 PM
Corker today.

Had to show my face at an Open Day and was in at 8.  NickSick

I was checking around to see how things were set up in advance of the arrival of parents and kids. My nose detected a terrible smell, so I went off to investigate.

I encountered a tramp. Filthy waist length grey hair, vile BO, filthy ragged clothes, wild staring eyes and a trolley full of strange objects in bags. He was inspecting a painting from about an inch away. He was quite a big chap so I called Security to get him removed.

They arrived promptly and I pointed him out. I could smell him from 10 yards away.

They said, "We can't remove him. He is the Professor of Computer Gaming."

 facepalm:
facepalm: facepalm:

I was going to make a Growler joke but thunk better of it (almost)
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Grumpmeister on February 24, 2018, 04:06:26 PM
Corker today.

Had to show my face at an Open Day and was in at 8.  NickSick

I was checking around to see how things were set up in advance of the arrival of parents and kids. My nose detected a terrible smell, so I went off to investigate.

I encountered a tramp. Filthy waist length grey hair, vile BO, filthy ragged clothes, wild staring eyes and a trolley full of strange objects in bags. He was inspecting a painting from about an inch away. He was quite a big chap so I called Security to get him removed.

They arrived promptly and I pointed him out. I could smell him from 10 yards away.

They said, "We can't remove him. He is the Professor of Computer Gaming."

 facepalm:

They have an Professor of Computer Gaming? Find out the salary and what the role entails, get rid of the bugger and I'll take it.  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Barman on February 24, 2018, 04:07:16 PM
Corker today.

Had to show my face at an Open Day and was in at 8.  NickSick

I was checking around to see how things were set up in advance of the arrival of parents and kids. My nose detected a terrible smell, so I went off to investigate.

I encountered a tramp. Filthy waist length grey hair, vile BO, filthy ragged clothes, wild staring eyes and a trolley full of strange objects in bags. He was inspecting a painting from about an inch away. He was quite a big chap so I called Security to get him removed.

They arrived promptly and I pointed him out. I could smell him from 10 yards away.

They said, "We can't remove him. He is the Professor of Computer Gaming."

 facepalm:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on February 24, 2018, 04:19:25 PM
Corker today.

Had to show my face at an Open Day and was in at 8.  NickSick

I was checking around to see how things were set up in advance of the arrival of parents and kids. My nose detected a terrible smell, so I went off to investigate.

I encountered a tramp. Filthy waist length grey hair, vile BO, filthy ragged clothes, wild staring eyes and a trolley full of strange objects in bags. He was inspecting a painting from about an inch away. He was quite a big chap so I called Security to get him removed.

They arrived promptly and I pointed him out. I could smell him from 10 yards away.

They said, "We can't remove him. He is the Professor of Computer Gaming."

 facepalm:

They have an Professor of Computer Gaming? Find out the salary and what the role entails, get rid of the bugger and I'll take it.  :thumbsup:

Methinks Nick meant Computer Games Programming

It is a somewhat niche skill set needed and a fair industry
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Grumpmeister on February 24, 2018, 04:22:52 PM
Corker today.

Had to show my face at an Open Day and was in at 8.  NickSick

I was checking around to see how things were set up in advance of the arrival of parents and kids. My nose detected a terrible smell, so I went off to investigate.

I encountered a tramp. Filthy waist length grey hair, vile BO, filthy ragged clothes, wild staring eyes and a trolley full of strange objects in bags. He was inspecting a painting from about an inch away. He was quite a big chap so I called Security to get him removed.

They arrived promptly and I pointed him out. I could smell him from 10 yards away.

They said, "We can't remove him. He is the Professor of Computer Gaming."

 facepalm:

They have an Professor of Computer Gaming? Find out the salary and what the role entails, get rid of the bugger and I'll take it.  :thumbsup:

Methinks Nick meant Computer Games Programming

It is a somewhat niche skill set needed and a fair industry

Bugger. Ah well, so much for being paid for a hobby...  lol:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Grumpmeister on February 24, 2018, 06:22:53 PM
Corker today.

Had to show my face at an Open Day and was in at 8.  NickSick

I was checking around to see how things were set up in advance of the arrival of parents and kids. My nose detected a terrible smell, so I went off to investigate.

I encountered a tramp. Filthy waist length grey hair, vile BO, filthy ragged clothes, wild staring eyes and a trolley full of strange objects in bags. He was inspecting a painting from about an inch away. He was quite a big chap so I called Security to get him removed.

They arrived promptly and I pointed him out. I could smell him from 10 yards away.

They said, "We can't remove him. He is the Professor of Computer Gaming."

 facepalm:


They have an Professor of Computer Gaming? Find out the salary and what the role entails, get rid of the bugger and I'll take it.  :thumbsup:


Methinks Nick meant Computer Games Programming

It is a somewhat niche skill set needed and a fair industry


Bugger. Ah well, so much for being paid for a hobby...  lol:


Hmm Nick may have been right after all...  rubschin:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5425149/In-Chinas-eSport-schools-students-learn-pays-play.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5425149/In-Chinas-eSport-schools-students-learn-pays-play.html)

Given that esports is a multi million pound industry and still growing I can see this kind of course spreading.  rubschin:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 26, 2018, 05:31:54 PM
Had a showdown today with the vile Natasha and told her to stick to her job and stop inventing extra werk to try to impress me  eveilgrin:

London called and want to see me on Friday about the better paid job (+exes) there. Not confirmed yet, but I may have to pull a sicky  whistle:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on February 26, 2018, 06:00:09 PM
Natasha inventing extra work you say.  In the broom cupboard?
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 26, 2018, 06:05:11 PM
She is a witch indeed, ultra serious about herself (humourless), aims to impress at all times (ambitious) and has shaved her eyebrows off and then painted them back on again (twat).
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on February 26, 2018, 06:12:12 PM
She is a witch indeed, ultra serious about herself (humourless), aims to impress at all times (ambitious) and has shaved her eyebrows off and then painted them back on again (twat).
She turned you down then
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 26, 2018, 06:29:51 PM
I have put her in her place  angel1

If all goes well in London on Friday I will resign  angel1
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on February 26, 2018, 06:36:30 PM
I have put her in her place  angel1

If all goes well in London on Friday I will resign  angel1
It's no good Nick, you throw out a name like Natasha and no matter what the facts, it just communicates sultry totty

Best of luck with Londinium, make want to take your skis Friday
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 27, 2018, 05:11:37 PM
Meeting confirmed in London for Friday a.m., so deffo a sicky  :thumbsup:  I am already preparing the ground  angel1

£6.5K a month +exes for 18 days werk per month. cloud9:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on February 27, 2018, 05:17:47 PM
Meeting confirmed in London for Friday a.m., so deffo a sicky  :thumbsup:  I am already preparing the ground  angel1

£6.5K a month +exes for 18 days werk per month. cloud9:
fingers crossed for you
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 27, 2018, 05:49:16 PM
Ta  :thumbsup:

And no PAYE or NI, all paid gross to my company  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on February 27, 2018, 06:18:01 PM
Ta  :thumbsup:

And no PAYE or NI, all paid gross to my company  :thumbsup:
The old dividend dodge so you don't pay for the NHS that's filling your bladder with rare treatments?

Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 27, 2018, 06:31:10 PM
 :thumbsup:

I pay my tax  angel1
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on February 27, 2018, 07:57:42 PM
:thumbsup:

I pay my tax  angel1
But you do use the dividend dodge don't you
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 27, 2018, 08:00:55 PM
My accountant handles those trivial details  angel1
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Grumpmeister on February 27, 2018, 08:30:05 PM
My accountant handles those trivial details  angel1

Translation: 'Mahoossive bill from HMRC imminent......'  noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on February 27, 2018, 10:53:32 PM
My accountant handles those trivial details  angel1

Translation: 'Mahoossive bill from HMRC imminent......'  noooo:
I doubt it

It's a well known dodge, form your own company, only pay a token salary but pay yourself a dividend as sole shareholder and reap the lower tax rate and extra allowance that dividends have.
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Barman on February 28, 2018, 06:19:33 AM
My accountant handles those trivial details  angel1

Translation: 'Mahoossive bill from HMRC imminent......'  noooo:
I doubt it

It's a well known dodge, form your own company, only pay a token salary but pay yourself a dividend as sole shareholder and reap the lower tax rate and extra allowance that dividends have.

But don't get caught out like that BBC presenter and have to pay £400K back laters obvs.  whistle:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 28, 2018, 06:20:17 AM
 scared2:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 28, 2018, 05:59:04 PM
Today I parked, as usual, in my own parking space. My permit was obscured by snow. I got a parking ticket. From my employers. To whom I pay a %age of my salary to have a car park pass.


 Angry9: Angry9: Angry9:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Barman on February 28, 2018, 06:57:21 PM
Today I parked, as usual, in my own parking space. My permit was obscured by snow. I got a parking ticket. From my employers. To whom I pay a %age of my salary to have a car park pass.


 Angry9: Angry9: Angry9:

 point: point: point:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 28, 2018, 07:03:27 PM
They are bastards. I raised hell and the ticket was withdrawn within the hour. But I can do without more shit from this lot of mongs  Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Darwins Selection on February 28, 2018, 08:50:18 PM
They are bastards. I raised hell and the ticket was withdrawn within the hour. But I can do without more shit from this lot of mongs  Angry9: Angry9: Angry9: Angry9:
Very wise. get it from a different lot that pay more.  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on February 28, 2018, 08:51:18 PM
 rubschin:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on March 05, 2018, 05:53:07 PM
Another day of mayhem. Went to my new office (my old office having been dismantled last week). It was empty. I eventually discovered the move had been postponed, so went to my old office which had been partially reassembled though the computer had not been connected so I wasted another hour grovelling about plugging in leads to various bewildering plugs Banghead Banghead. Had then to go to the other site and found I had been given another parking ticket. cussing: cussing: The spreadsheet meeting had been cancelled (I had done two hours of work on the offending spreadsheet and just threw it in the bin). Got a second parking ticket while at this site Angry9: and also discovered that the bumper overseas recruitment gleefully reported to me last week was a figment of someone's imaginative spreadsheet and that we are, in fact, down on international students.

More tomorrow NickSick
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: apc2010 on March 05, 2018, 05:54:48 PM
Another day of mayhem. Went to my new office (my old office having been dismantled last week). It was empty. I eventually discovered the move had been postponed, so went to my old office which had been partially reassembled though the computer had not been connected so I wasted another hour grovelling about plugging in leads to various bewildering plugs Banghead Banghead. Had then to go to the other site and found I had been given another parking ticket. cussing: cussing: The spreadsheet meeting had been cancelled (I had done two hours of work on the offending spreadsheet and just threw it in the bin). Got a second parking ticket while at this site Angry9: and also discovered that the bumper overseas recruitment gleefully reported to me last week was a figment of someone's imaginative spreadsheet and that we are, in fact, down on international students.

More tomorrow NickSick

Have a drink.......... Thumbs:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Barman on March 06, 2018, 06:11:32 AM
Another day of mayhem. Went to my new office (my old office having been dismantled last week). It was empty. I eventually discovered the move had been postponed, so went to my old office which had been partially reassembled though the computer had not been connected so I wasted another hour grovelling about plugging in leads to various bewildering plugs Banghead Banghead. Had then to go to the other site and found I had been given another parking ticket. cussing: cussing: The spreadsheet meeting had been cancelled (I had done two hours of work on the offending spreadsheet and just threw it in the bin). Got a second parking ticket while at this site Angry9: and also discovered that the bumper overseas recruitment gleefully reported to me last week was a figment of someone's imaginative spreadsheet and that we are, in fact, down on international students.

More tomorrow NickSick

Have a drink.......... Thumbs:

 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on March 06, 2018, 06:42:54 PM
Predictably chaotic office move, complemented by collapse of computer network so e mails all buggered cloud9:. Made myself scarce all day as I had no desk or computer anyway. Banghead Dropped into one meeting to speak to an agenda item but when I got there 4 of the academics were shouting at each other and two more were in tears eeek:. I said I would drop in later, but I didn't. Got another parking ticket for no apparent reason. ::) Have claimed a new office space for myself at the former base as I will be on my own and can actually do some work. Spreadsheet mania continues. :-/

Open Day tomorrow (again!). I am told that the new CRM system will solve all our problems (how many times have I heard that one?) and that the new website will DEFINITELY be live in June. Sure!

And my new best friend is a butch lesbian who has been wonderful and very helpful. Pity about the hormone treatment she is having prior to her gender change surgery  eeek:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 06, 2018, 06:56:44 PM
Predictably chaotic office move, complemented by collapse of computer network so e mails all buggered cloud9:. Made myself scarce all day as I had no desk or computer anyway. Banghead Dropped into one meeting to speak to an agenda item but when I got there 4 of the academics were shouting at each other and two more were in tears eeek:. I said I would drop in later, but I didn't. Got another parking ticket for no apparent reason. ::) Have claimed a new office space for myself at the former base as I will be on my own and can actually do some work. Spreadsheet mania continues. :-/

Open Day tomorrow (again!). I am told that the new CRM system will solve all our problems (how many times have I heard that one?) and that the new website will DEFINITELY be live in June. Sure!

And my new best friend is a butch lesbian who has been wonderful and very helpful. Pity about the hormone treatment she is having prior to her gender change surgery  eeek:
(https://c.yell.com/t_bigRect,f_auto/7ad8178a-28ad-4444-99c4-2e30654a7a70_image_png.png)
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on March 06, 2018, 07:12:14 PM
 rubschin: ::)
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Barman on March 06, 2018, 07:17:28 PM
Predictably chaotic office move, complemented by collapse of computer network so e mails all buggered cloud9:. Made myself scarce all day as I had no desk or computer anyway. Banghead Dropped into one meeting to speak to an agenda item but when I got there 4 of the academics were shouting at each other and two more were in tears eeek:. I said I would drop in later, but I didn't. Got another parking ticket for no apparent reason. ::) Have claimed a new office space for myself at the former base as I will be on my own and can actually do some work. Spreadsheet mania continues. :-/

Open Day tomorrow (again!). I am told that the new CRM system will solve all our problems (how many times have I heard that one?) and that the new website will DEFINITELY be live in June. Sure!

And my new best friend is a butch lesbian who has been wonderful and very helpful. Pity about the hormone treatment she is having prior to her gender change surgery  eeek:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on March 06, 2018, 11:34:55 PM
Predictably chaotic office move, complemented by collapse of computer network so e mails all buggered cloud9:. Made myself scarce all day as I had no desk or computer anyway. Banghead Dropped into one meeting to speak to an agenda item but when I got there 4 of the academics were shouting at each other and two more were in tears eeek:. I said I would drop in later, but I didn't. Got another parking ticket for no apparent reason. ::) Have claimed a new office space for myself at the former base as I will be on my own and can actually do some work. Spreadsheet mania continues. :-/

Open Day tomorrow (again!). I am told that the new CRM system will solve all our problems (how many times have I heard that one?) and that the new website will DEFINITELY be live in June. Sure!

And my new best friend is a butch lesbian who has been wonderful and very helpful. Pity about the hormone treatment she is having prior to her gender change surgery  eeek:
(https://c.yell.com/t_bigRect,f_auto/7ad8178a-28ad-4444-99c4-2e30654a7a70_image_png.png)
lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on March 07, 2018, 05:02:12 PM
More panic and chaos today. Finally decided to pull the "I have an important meeting on another site trick," and fucked off home
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Barman on March 07, 2018, 05:21:33 PM
More panic and chaos today. Finally decided to pull the "I have an important meeting on another site trick," and fucked off home

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on March 07, 2018, 05:23:41 PM
More panic and chaos today. Finally decided to pull the "I have an important meeting on another site trick," and fucked off home

 lol: lol: lol:
:thumbsup:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on March 07, 2018, 05:24:14 PM
And I got another sodding parking ticket  Banghead Banghead Banghead
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on March 07, 2018, 05:26:46 PM
And I got another sodding parking ticket  Banghead Banghead Banghead
How many do you have to get before they just remove the car to the scrapyard?
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Grumpmeister on March 07, 2018, 05:50:01 PM
And I got another sodding parking ticket  Banghead Banghead Banghead
How many do you have to get before they just remove the car to the scrapyard?

The Owld Sierra? Nick is safe from that threat. The scrapyard wouldn't want to lower the value of the site...  noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on March 07, 2018, 07:14:05 PM
And I got another sodding parking ticket  Banghead Banghead Banghead
How many do you have to get before they just remove the car to the scrapyard?

The Owld Sierra? Nick is safe from that threat. The scrapyard wouldn't want to lower the value of the site...  noooo:
Well reasoned Meister
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on March 07, 2018, 07:30:27 PM
Had to clear the car today ahead of annual service and MOT Friday.

Drop car off Thurs eve
Make way home on tram
Friday get to station (taxi?)
Train to Derby
Bus to work
Another bus to main place of work
Cue: foul weather
Call at about 2.00 with sucked teeth from garage about expensive repairs
Bus to station
Train
Tram
Taxi

Sat a.m. Tram to car, hand over card to pay for repairs, sell flat to pay for repairs, sleep in cardboard box forever  sad24:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on March 07, 2018, 09:03:23 PM
Had to clear the car today ahead of annual service and MOT Friday.

Drop car off Thurs eve
Make way home on tram
Friday get to station (taxi?)
Train to Derby
Bus to work
Another bus to main place of work
Cue: foul weather
Call at about 2.00 with sucked teeth from garage about expensive repairs
Bus to station
Train
Tram
Taxi

Sat a.m. Tram to car, hand over card to pay for repairs, sell flat to pay for repairs, sleep in cardboard box forever  sad24:
It'll still get a car parking ticket on Friday
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on March 07, 2018, 09:08:02 PM
 cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:

Still getting e mail traffic tonight at this time. With or without London job I may resign Friday. The place is INSANE!!
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on March 08, 2018, 06:03:32 PM
Another day, another parking ticket. razz:

In interesting news, we got an excited e mail this morning from a crazed member of staff who had made something entirely new and wanted it all over the media. He did not explain what it was but he did send a photograph of it. I throw it open to the team to help me with this amazing breakthrough. We have asked him what it is and why it is so exciting, but he hasn't replied.

(https://s13.postimg.org/8md4tukn7/28928313_10157179141179992_934774546_o.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/8md4tukn7/)

ANy offers?

I left early (secretly) to drop the Owld Sierra off at the garage for his annual service and MOT  scared2:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Barman on March 08, 2018, 06:18:03 PM
Another day, another parking ticket. razz:

In interesting news, we got an excited e mail this morning from a crazed member of staff who had made something entirely new and wanted it all over the media. He did not explain what it was but he did send a photograph of it. I throw it open to the team to help me with this amazing breakthrough. We have asked him what it is and why it is so exciting, but he hasn't replied.

(https://s13.postimg.org/8md4tukn7/28928313_10157179141179992_934774546_o.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/8md4tukn7/)

ANy offers?

I left early (secretly) to drop the Owld Sierra off at the garage for his annual service and MOT  scared2:

Is it a colouring book for blind people...?  rubschin:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on March 08, 2018, 06:30:23 PM
Another day, another parking ticket. razz:

In interesting news, we got an excited e mail this morning from a crazed member of staff who had made something entirely new and wanted it all over the media. He did not explain what it was but he did send a photograph of it. I throw it open to the team to help me with this amazing breakthrough. We have asked him what it is and why it is so exciting, but he hasn't replied.

(https://s13.postimg.org/8md4tukn7/28928313_10157179141179992_934774546_o.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/8md4tukn7/)

ANy offers?

I left early (secretly) to drop the Owld Sierra off at the garage for his annual service and MOT  scared2:

Is it a colouring book for blind people...?  rubschin:
happy001   you win
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 08, 2018, 07:47:44 PM
Another day, another parking ticket. razz:

In interesting news, we got an excited e mail this morning from a crazed member of staff who had made something entirely new and wanted it all over the media. He did not explain what it was but he did send a photograph of it. I throw it open to the team to help me with this amazing breakthrough. We have asked him what it is and why it is so exciting, but he hasn't replied.

(https://s13.postimg.org/8md4tukn7/28928313_10157179141179992_934774546_o.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/8md4tukn7/)

ANy offers?

I left early (secretly) to drop the Owld Sierra off at the garage for his annual service and MOT  scared2:

Is it a colouring book for blind people...?  rubschin:
drumroll: drumroll:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 08, 2018, 08:17:58 PM
Is it somewhere to stick your parking tickets on ???
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on March 08, 2018, 08:21:38 PM
I have just told them, yes the emails flood in at this time, that I will resign TOMORROW if this insanity does not stop. I have had over 40 work e mails since 6.00. They can fuck off.

Goodnight
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Barman on March 08, 2018, 08:29:46 PM
Is it somewhere to stick your parking tickets on ???

 drumroll:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on March 08, 2018, 08:47:01 PM
Is it somewhere to stick your parking tickets on ???

 drumroll:
drumroll: drumroll:

Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 09, 2018, 11:59:41 AM
I have just told them, yes the emails flood in at this time, that I will resign TOMORROW if this insanity does not stop. I have had over 40 work e mails since 6.00. They can fuck off.

Goodnight

That sounds perfectly normal  noooo:  noooo:  noooo:

I am waiting for someone to turn the feck up to work so I can sack them and tell them to get the feck out of werk  evil:

Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Barman on March 09, 2018, 12:16:37 PM
I have just told them, yes the emails flood in at this time, that I will resign TOMORROW if this insanity does not stop. I have had over 40 work e mails since 6.00. They can fuck off.

Goodnight

That sounds perfectly normal  noooo:  noooo:  noooo:

I am waiting for someone to turn the feck up to work so I can sack them and tell them to get the feck out of werk  evil:

 lol: lol: lol:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on March 09, 2018, 12:27:54 PM
Saw the boss first thing and told him I had had enough and was leaving. He is also leaving at the end of the month for the same reasons and advised me to go to the quack to get a sick note to cover my notice period so I will get all March and half April paid. Seen quack and now at home.

Very relieved!!  Never going to Derby again. :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on March 09, 2018, 12:31:39 PM
Saw the boss first thing and told him I had had enough and was leaving. He is also leaving at the end of the month for the same reasons and advised me to go to the quack to get a sick note to cover my notice period so I will get all March and half April paid. Seen quack and now at home.

Very relieved!!  Never going to Derby again. :thumbsup:
:thumbsup:  I guess

Judging by recent headlines Nottingham Trent needs help 
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Barman on March 09, 2018, 12:34:14 PM
Saw the boss first thing and told him I had had enough and was leaving. He is also leaving at the end of the month for the same reasons and advised me to go to the quack to get a sick note to cover my notice period so I will get all March and half April paid. Seen quack and now at home.

Very relieved!!  Never going to Derby again. :thumbsup:

 happ096
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on March 10, 2018, 03:27:26 PM
A lawyer friend of Nod's joined us for lunch. I told him about the Doc effectively saying I had PTSD and my line manager e mailing saying I had done my best in "impossible circumstances".

He said, you have grounds for suing them.

 eveilgrin:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on March 10, 2018, 03:35:52 PM
A lawyer friend of Nod's joined us for lunch. I told him about the Doc effectively saying I had PTSD and my line manager e mailing saying I had done my best in "impossible circumstances".

He said, you have grounds for suing them.

 eveilgrin:
:thumbsup:

Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on March 12, 2018, 03:15:23 PM
Talking to lawyers in the morning  eveilgrin:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on March 12, 2018, 03:57:52 PM
Talking to lawyers in the morning  eveilgrin:
rubschin:

You mean the lawyers who will be raking in new money paying clients after your name becomes Mr Don't Hire in your line of business
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on March 12, 2018, 04:03:31 PM
1. I have kept this particular job under my professional radar, so no-one who matters knows about it
2. The University will, if it comes to fruition, settle out of court to avoid adverse publicity for themselves
 angel1
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 12, 2018, 04:17:52 PM

Did you have to complete a medical questionairre beforehand that would indicate if there were any issues that they needed to be mindful of ?

Did you meet with your manager / supervisor to discuss your concerns ?

Surely you were only there 5 minutes  -  rubschin:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on March 12, 2018, 04:26:19 PM
1. I have kept this particular job under my professional radar, so no-one who matters knows about it
2. The University will, if it comes to fruition, settle out of court to avoid adverse publicity for themselves
 angel1
Popcorn:

Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on March 12, 2018, 04:28:33 PM

Did you have to complete a medical questionairre beforehand that would indicate if there were any issues that they needed to be mindful of ?

Did you meet with your manager / supervisor to discuss your concerns ?

Surely you were only there 5 minutes  -  rubschin:
No med questionnaire and no induction. HR were e mailing me weekly to say they  were "looking forward to meeting me on your first day." I got another this morning!!

Line manager leaving at end of month for same reasons and says job (he has been there three months) has nearly destroyed his marriage.

He e mailed me (from derby.ac.uk address) to say I had done my level best in "impossible" circumstances.

He knew I was not happy from Week 1!!
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 12, 2018, 04:33:46 PM
I would go and have my induction with HR - just for the hell of it  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on March 12, 2018, 04:35:46 PM

Did you have to complete a medical questionairre beforehand that would indicate if there were any issues that they needed to be mindful of ?

Did you meet with your manager / supervisor to discuss your concerns ?

Surely you were only there 5 minutes  -  rubschin:
No med questionnaire and no induction. HR were e mailing me weekly to say they  were "looking forward to meeting me on your first day." I got another this morning!!

Line manager leaving at end of month for same reasons and says job (he has been there three months) has nearly destroyed his marriage.

He e mailed me (from derby.ac.uk address) to say I had done my level best in "impossible" circumstances.

He knew I was not happy from Week 1!!
Do you not suspect they will put it all down to you hitting the recruiting woman with a projector and counter sue?
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on March 12, 2018, 04:37:10 PM
I would go and have my induction with HR - just for the hell of it  :thumbsup:
Bit fvcking late now!! I am vaguely warned by a friend that to cover their arses, HR might want me in soon for some kind of "anything we can do?" style meeting.....He has offered to come with me. He has just retired as head of HR at Siemens (UK)  eveilgrin:

And HR never offered induction, just a compulsory Equality and Diversity course which never materialised  ::)
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on March 12, 2018, 04:38:47 PM

Did you have to complete a medical questionairre beforehand that would indicate if there were any issues that they needed to be mindful of ?

Did you meet with your manager / supervisor to discuss your concerns ?

Surely you were only there 5 minutes  -  rubschin:
No med questionnaire and no induction. HR were e mailing me weekly to say they  were "looking forward to meeting me on your first day." I got another this morning!!

Line manager leaving at end of month for same reasons and says job (he has been there three months) has nearly destroyed his marriage.

He e mailed me (from derby.ac.uk address) to say I had done my level best in "impossible" circumstances.

He knew I was not happy from Week 1!!
Do you not suspect they will put it all down to you hitting the recruiting woman with a projector and counter sue?

Well, she was an idiot. I told her no projector needed.  noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on March 12, 2018, 05:07:27 PM

Did you have to complete a medical questionairre beforehand that would indicate if there were any issues that they needed to be mindful of ?

Did you meet with your manager / supervisor to discuss your concerns ?

Surely you were only there 5 minutes  -  rubschin:
No med questionnaire and no induction. HR were e mailing me weekly to say they  were "looking forward to meeting me on your first day." I got another this morning!!

Line manager leaving at end of month for same reasons and says job (he has been there three months) has nearly destroyed his marriage.

He e mailed me (from derby.ac.uk address) to say I had done my level best in "impossible" circumstances.

He knew I was not happy from Week 1!!
Do you not suspect they will put it all down to you hitting the recruiting woman with a projector and counter sue?

Well, she was an idiot. I told her no projector needed.  noooo: noooo: noooo: noooo:
That presentation using an Aldiss Lamp was certainly innovative and diverse if less than equality minded

Did she ever get better and get back to being merely incompetent?

Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on March 12, 2018, 05:08:50 PM
She spent 4 days in hospital  :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on March 12, 2018, 05:19:22 PM
She spent 4 days in hospital  :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
Is that a record for one of your interviews?
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 12, 2018, 05:22:43 PM
A counter law suit may be in the offing  lol:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on March 12, 2018, 05:23:54 PM
Just checking and the university has no published HR policy on its website  rubschin: rubschin:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Grumpmeister on March 12, 2018, 05:32:37 PM
She spent 4 days in hospital  :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
Is that a record for one of your interviews?

I think so, normally its months of therapy instead...  whistle:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 12, 2018, 05:34:53 PM
Just checking and the university has no published HR policy on its website  rubschin: rubschin:

In relation to what ?
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on March 12, 2018, 05:36:43 PM
ANything to do with HR, just a load of shite about Values and E&D!!
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 12, 2018, 05:44:24 PM
Is that the public website or their intranet ?
 
You wouldn't expect much HR guff on their public website
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on March 12, 2018, 05:46:15 PM
Nothing of significance on the intranet either, apart from E&D and "mediation".
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 12, 2018, 05:47:22 PM
You sure that not the most visited pages  lol:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on March 12, 2018, 05:52:59 PM
Certain. I had to log in. Over to the lawyers. I want compo, but I want revenge more!! My GP wants to see me weekly. I asked him for some sleeping tabs but he said, "Not in your present frame of mind".  eeek:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 12, 2018, 09:45:46 PM
Sleeping tablets and little blue pills ...not a good combination  ;D
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Tipsy Gipsy on March 13, 2018, 12:00:45 AM
Sleeping tablets and little blue pills ...not a good combination  ;D

Oh I don't know.  What's the worst that can happen?    angel1
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Miss Demeanour on March 13, 2018, 06:44:59 AM
I was thinking of poor Miss I .

She would travel all those miles only to be stood up  ;)
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Barman on March 13, 2018, 06:52:34 AM
I was thinking of poor Miss I .

She would travel all those miles only to be stood up  ;)

 drumroll:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on March 13, 2018, 07:07:59 AM
 cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on March 13, 2018, 04:10:00 PM
First shot fired.

HR are trying to cover their arses all of a sudden and have invited me in for a meeting. This is to comply with the "duty of care" crap.

I have agreed (legal advice) but have said I will bring a legal representative with me. No response as yet  whistle:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Barman on March 13, 2018, 04:38:29 PM
First shot fired.

HR are trying to cover their arses all of a sudden and have invited me in for a meeting. This is to comply with the "duty of care" crap.

I have agreed (legal advice) but have said I will bring a legal representative with me. No response as yet  whistle:

 noooo:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on March 13, 2018, 04:39:39 PM
They are obliged to do it (the useless cvnts)  and I am entitled to respond in kind  angel1
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on March 14, 2018, 07:36:47 PM
HA! My boss has resigned today and told them to fvck off. We are having a pint tomorrow. He is OK and confirms they are toxic and that HR are shitting themselves. This is, actually, utterly bonkers!! eveilgrin:
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Steve on March 14, 2018, 07:44:21 PM
HA! My boss has resigned today and told them to fvck off. We are having a pint tomorrow. He is OK and confirms they are toxic and that HR are shitting themselves. This is, actually, utterly bonkers!! eveilgrin:
But riveting Popcorn:

What you most actually looking for?  Munny or the guilty sacked and you invited back in their place?
Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Nick on March 14, 2018, 07:57:37 PM
Revenge, and compo, if I can get it, but mainly revenge. Pleased to see HR are shitting themselves  angel1

Personnel always defended staff, HR defend the employer. That is it.

Head of HR has asked for all emails relating to me. They are quaking!! angel1

Title: Re: The all new Nick's adventures in Derby
Post by: Darwins Selection on March 15, 2018, 10:26:14 AM
Revenge, and compo, if I can get it, but mainly revenge. Pleased to see HR are shitting themselves  angel1

Personnel always defended staff, HR defend the employer. That is it.

Head of HR has asked for all emails relating to me. They are quaking!! angel1

(https://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fskullislandtimes.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2017%2F02%2Fdiving-duck.jpg&hash=179a031081faf271c1f39891a157ad2b)